When Myungsoo arrived at the gala, aptly dressed for the event, he was escorted to his seat by a pretty girl, no doubt a Royals trainee. He found Howon already in the seat beside him, wearing a neat suit and a matching purple tie. The man was calm and collected as ever but Myungsoo noted a spark of pride in his usually blank eyes.

“Sunkyu and his mother couldn’t make it,” his brother-in-law said, crossing his arms. “Sunkyu has an exam, so…”

Myungsoo realized Howon had kept up with his family. He knew for certain that he spoke to Sungjong at least once every week, even though they rarely met. One thing was for sure, Howon took his role as the eldest brother seriously. Besides, Sungjong had told him how Howon had taken Mrs Lee for a second mother. He was glad for it.

“How have you been?” he asked lightly, looking at his friend. His shoulders were quite stiff and he was glancing around uncomfortably. Like to any other Star employee, coming to a gala hosted by Royals was like fraternizing with the enemy; no one was fond of the idea. Howon however had made it clear that his priority was his brother.

“Not bad at all. How about you?”

“Good. I-er-I’ve had a few…things to look after.”

He had not told any of his friends about baby Mi. That was the nickname the baby had received, he wasn’t sure exactly how. But Mrs. Han and Soya, the baby’s nurse, both called him Mi, so Myungsoo had picked up the habit. However, he hadn’t spoken to anyone about him. He was still a bit uncomfortable about Sungjong – even though the younger didn’t protest anymore or tried to send the baby away, his lips tightened every time he tried to talk to him about Mi. To his knowledge, he hadn’t set foot in the nursery or touched baby Mi or even asked about him. It was as if he was trying to ignore Mi’s existence.

He’s just stressed with his work; he needs time to warm up to Mi.

Howon hummed, frowning.

“Well, it seems like you have a lot on you plate since your hired private detective has been ferreting around the office.”

Startled, Myungsoo gave his friend a questioning look. He had no idea how Howon knew about the detective he had hired. If he had been doing his job properly, he shouldn’t have found out.

“Don’t worry, he needed something from me, so he revealed himself to me. No one else knows,” Howon quickly assured.

“What did he need?”

“Sunggyu’s employment file. He needed his address, phone number and such.”

“Oh.” Myungsoo sighed with relief. Secrecy was crucial because Sunggyu seemed to always know what was going on in the company. If he had an inkling of what was going, he would undoubtedly strike back. He wanted the entire investigation to be carried out without Sunggyu’s knowledge and then catch the man unawares.

“You suspect him?”

his lips, he leaned towards his friend. He knew he could trust Howon, and if there was anyone he could count on to be tight-lipped, it was the Human Resource manager. In a low tone, he explained to him what he had surmised about Sunggyu’s supiscious behavior. Howon listened intently, and nodded once or twice, but from his facial expression, he couldn’t comprehend if he thought he was crazy or if he believed him.

“I’ve never suspected Sunggyu of sabotaging Star,” Howon commented when he had finished recounting everything. “But I do know for a fact that he tried to harass Sungjong when you were about to get married to Jiyeon. He tried very hard so that Sungjong couldn’t get between the two of you. Of course at that time, I had no idea that you and Sungjong have a history.”

Of course, Myungsoo thought, comprehension dawning on him. This was why Sunggyu was so adamant that his wedding with Jiyeon should go forward. She had been pregnant and he had known – since he didn’t want to take any responsibility of the child, he had planned to get it off his hands by marrying Jiyeon to Myungsoo. That way, everyone would think that the child belonged to Myungsoo.

No wonder he pressed me so hard to get married to Jiyeon, he wondered.

“It’s true though, Howon, I’m sure of it. He’s trying to get rid of me.”

The man nodded gravely, as if weighing his words. Finally, he said, “I think you’re a good leader for us. And if Sunggyu is against you, I’m against him.”

He was relieved to know that Howon was an ally. Even though most of his staff liked him, there might be a few people who would probably think that he was trying to set Sunggyu up, those who greatly respected Sunggyu.

They were still whispering to each other when someone clapped him on the shoulder. Surprised, he turned his head sideways to find Kim Kibum, the chief editor of Royals grinning at him.

“I never expected to see you here. Oh wait,” his smile became crooked. “We have something of yours, don’t we?”

Myungsoo gritted his teeth. It was evident that the man was here to gloat in his face, that he got to be Sungjong’s chief editor instead of him. It was like saying that Sungjong preferred Royals to Star; even though he knew that wasn’t the case, anger flared within him.

“He’s such a gem, that Sungjong. So much so that I was suspicious that you let him come to us. I thought he might be a spy, but then I realized he’s too naïve to be a spy.” He laughed a hearty laugh, his small body shaking. Myungsoo didn’t say anything – he was not going to cause a scene on Sungjong’s big night no matter how much he hated the man in front of him.

Suddenky, a man appeared at Kibum’s elbow. He was tall, towering above Kibum, and he wore a hard look in his eyes.

Kibum turned to look at him, then smiled at Myungsoo.

“Let me introduce you to Star Magazine’s chief editor, Kim Myungsoo. This is our CEO, Huang Zitao.”

The man nodded curtly, gripping the hand Myungsoo had extended towards him strongly.

So this is the guy from the Chinese company which bought Royals.

“You’re Sungjong’s husband, no? Yes, we, that is to say Sungjong and I, have a history.” For the first time, there was something like the shadow of a smile on his face.

“A history you say?” Howon suddenly spoke up from beside him. He had almost forgotten that his friend was there. Now, he introduced him to Kibum and Zitao.

“Yes.” Tao’s dark eyes rested on Howon’s for a moment. Then he turned his attention back to Myungsoo. “We went to University together.”

Simultaneously, Myungsoo and Howon’s expressions darkened. They knew that University was a black smudge on Sungjong’s history and anyone who knew him from there wouldn’t have a pure impression of him. Besides, any friend he had picked up there couldn’t have his best intentions at heart.

Kibum, however, looked shocked. It was news to him apparently. His gaze flitted between Tao and Myungsoo, his expression confused.

“Then you had known a very different Sungjong,” Howon stated gravely before Myungsoo could reply.

“You think so? I think he’s the same. Just as y.” The smirk on his face made his skin crawl and he had an urge to strangle him but there were people around them and he had to act his part. He could feel Howon’s anger beside him; no doubt he was holding himself back as well.

“Anyway,” Tao smiled victoriously. “He’s going with me to Paris next week. Let me know if I can get you anything.” He was about to leave, when Myungsoo stopped him with a word.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked, his voice calm, but it was only the calm before the storm.

“He didn’t tell you yet?”

Kibum cleared his throat.

“Sungjong doesn’t know yet. He’s been busy with practice…”

Tao shot him a venomous look. Turning back to Myungsoo, he said smoothly, “It doesn’t change anything. He’s bound to come with me.”

“Excuse me,” Howon growled from beside him. “He’s not bound to do anything.”

There was a curious expression on Zitao’s eyes as he considered Howon, but the next moment, he broke into laughter.

“Of course he is, it’s in his contract. He’s to be my when I go to business conferences.”

That was new to Myungsoo – Sungjong hadn’t mentioned anything like that when he had signed the contract.  He wouldn’t have knowingly agreed to something like this, would he?

“That’s ridiculous, Sungjong would never agree to something like this!” Howon echoed his thoughts exactly.

“Oh I can assure you, he was begging to become a model; he didn’t care,” the CEO sneered. “Anyway,” he added to Myungsoo, “I guess you had fun visiting your ex-girlfriend.”

With a wink, he turned his back on them and strode away, believing he had won the battle. Myungsoo was at a loss of words. How had the CEO known that he had gone to visit Jiyeon? Suddenly, he recalled the way Sungjong had been acting after he had come back from Australia with Mi.

Did Huang Zitao put strange ideas in his head?

Gritting his teeth, he turned to Kibum.

“He can’t do that, models are not escorts. You can’t let your models be used like that.”

Kibum shrugged disinterestedly.

“We’ve always used our models to – ah, let’s say – advertise our company. If the the CEO or I attend any business conferences or meetings, we always take a model or two as . That’s how we convince other companies that it’s a good idea to invest in our company – exhibiting our wares.”

His blood curdled as he heard Kibum speak. How could he speak as if Sungjong, his models, were merely products from his company? His disgust for Royals only grew.

I’m not going to let Sungjong to be used like that.

“Anyway, enjoy the show,” Kibum said, giving them a mock salute and turning on his heels to march towards the back of tha stage.

“Aish, Sungjong – why did he join this hell?” Howon muttered, curling his fist. His shoulders were hunched in anger and he slammed his balled fist into his palm, looking like he was ready to kill someone. Myungsoo had never seen his friend so agitated, and then he remembered that Howon was his brother-in-law too – he was Sungjong’s brother and he had all the reasons to be just as angry as him.

Myungsoo was furious – he did not think Royals was treating any of their models properly, including Sungjong. They had always had a reputation for slave contracts and overworking their models; he had thought that things had changed after they had gotten a new CEO. But by the sounds of it, things were exactly the same, or even more intense, if that was possible.

Why didn’t I look through Sungjong’s contract before he signed it, he regretted.

However, Sungjong hadn’t given him the chance to advice him on anything – he had signed the contract already and then let him know what he had done.

It’s my fault, I should have paid more attention, he thought bitterly.

“Don’t let him go with that CEO, I don’t like the look of that guy,” Howon whispered to him later, when the show was about to start.

If it was up to Myungsoo, he would not let him go. He would sue Royals if he had to, or pay to end the contract between Sungjong and Royals. It wasn’t only that he didn’t like the look of Huang Zitao, it was that Sungjong shouldn’t have to do anything against his will.

“I won’t,” he promised.

---

Sungjong felt that his body was made of water. Everything within him was fluid. As he paced up and down the dressing room, he tried to count backwards from 100 to calm himself down.

59, 58, 57…

It wasn’t working though. His heart quickened with every pace, as the minute hand of the clock edged farther and farther. In a few moments, he would be up there, on that stage outside, in front of everyone.

Just like I had dreamed, hoped.

There was nothing to stop him from living his dream now. He should feel triumphant, elated, but all he felt was anxiety. He couldn’t explan the sensation but it was like strange tinglings all over his body, like little jolts of current as an unknown fear gripped his heart.

I’m ready for this, I practiced for this.

He recalled all the hours he had spent in the practice room. They even had a final rehearsal only a few hours ago, before all the people had gathered. There was nothing to worry about.

He came to a stop and looked around. Eight other male models occupied the long, corridor-like room with him; he was the only newbie here. Everyone looked handsome in their impeccable suits and immaculate make-up. Slowly, he turned his gaze to the mirror. His reflection stared back at him, his eyes silver from the contact lenses he was wearing. His hair was shorter than ever, straightened and dyed brown. His bangs were set in place with the help of copious amounts of hairspray so that they didn’t fall into his eyes.

He was wearing a neat D&G suit, slim-fitted, which accentuated his slender figure. The shoes were a bit uncomfortable but he didn’t have time to think about it. Wringing his hands, he went through a simulation of his run in his head. He had the counts memorized, the beat of the song, everything.

Nothing can go wrong, he told himself.

Earlier, he had received supportive messages from his family and friends. The last text had been sent by Sungyeol. It was a simple one liner but it had been the most effective. ‘Forget everything and everyone, just work the runway’ – it said. Sungjong opted to follow his best friend’s advice – forget everything. He wasn’t thinking about anything else right now except for his performance.

“Ten minutes, Sungjong, Sehun, Hyunmin, Junmin, Hyukjoon, standby!” someone shouted close to him, causing him to jump. He had almost forgotten that there were other people around him. The next moment, he gathered himself. He had kept on his feet ever since he had donned on the clothes to make sure they didn’t go crooked from sitting. Only now he realized how sore his feet were.

I can do it, he said to himself. He wished there was someone else to tell him that; somehow he believed others more than himself.

He could faintly hear music – which meant the curtains were up. He was queasy; his body stiffened and he thought he had turned to stone.

I can do it, he repeated, wondering why the voice inside his head sounded dimmer.

His heart was drumming loudly, all the other sounds drowned by the thunderous claps of his heart. Any moment, he feared that his heart would burst. The knot in his stomach tightened.

“You can do it, sweetheart.”

He whirled around at the sound of Myungsoo’s voice. Sure enough, his husband was standing there, his face flushed with pride.

“You came all this way by youself, you can do this too.”

For a moment, everything stopped, even his heart. When it started beating again, the beats were quicker than usual, but he felt relaxed, like he had been saved.

I can do this! The voice in his head was a lot louder and more confident this time.

Myungsoo lurched forward, as if to hug him, but then thought better of it. Sungjong would have clung to his husband and cried with relief if he wasn’t worried that he would spoil his clothes and make-up.

“Thank you,” he said. Myungsoo took his hands in his, massaging them softly.

“I love you.”

“I-”

“Three minutes – places everyone!”

Giving him one last smile, Myungsoo squeezed past all the people in the room, disappearing down the corridor. The director for this show was walking around grimly, his hands behind him. His assistants were putting all the models in line.

“Sungjong, here,” one of the assistants called him, pointing to his place. The make-up artists were weaving in between all the models, dabbing here and there, checking one last time if everything was perfect.

The drumming began inside him, as he let out a slow, long breath.

I can do this.

When he came to his senses again, he was sitting in the dressing room again, back in his normal clothes. His ears were filled with raucous applause and cheering from when he was up on the stage. He remembered flashes of bright light and sounds of cameras clicking away. But that was all he remembered from his debut stage.

Looking around, he found the rest of the models in comfortable clothing, chatting away to each other as their make-ups were being removed. There was a surprising change in the atmosphere of the room. It had been tense, uncertain before but now, it was comfortable, warm even.

Slowly, the feelings came back into his limbs and he got up from his seat. Before he could go anywhere, his path was barred by his manager. Kihoon looked excited as he shook his hand, mumbling something like, “They loved you, they loved you. You’re going to be big!” He didn’t make much sense to him and from the way his tongue rolled as he spoke, he knew he was drunk.

Already.

He vaguely recalled someone offering him champagne after the show but he had denied it. Kihoon obviously hadn’t.

As the rush of adrenaline left his body, he felt exhaustion alight. All of a sudden, his limbs were limp. He felt like he couldn’t move a single step by himself. His head lolled forward onto his chest – he just wanted to sleep.

A pair of arms wrapped around him from behind, as if charging him with energy. He finally felt home in the warm embrace. A familiar scent reached his nostrils. The feel of the backhug was so comforting that he leaned into it, sighing contently.

“This feels good,” he muttered, closing his eyes. The hands gave him a soft squeeze.

“Shall we go home and cuddle then?” Myungsoo’s whisper danced right above his ear, tickling him slightly.

“I love you. I wanted to say that before going up on stage but-”

“I know you do, darling,” Myungsoo’s voice was ever so soothing. “As for the stage, you were brilliant!” Myungsoo couldn’t suppress the excitement in his voice. He sounded like a little kid, making Sungjong laugh.

So it’s a success, he wondered. If Myungsoo thought he was brilliant, he had to be. Although, his husband tended to be biased. But now that he thought about it, he had met Kim Kibum after coming down from the stage the last time and he had seen a proud glow in his eyes. There had been people who had patted him on the back or clapped him on the shoulder – he couldn’t remember now exactly who they had been. Minjoon, one of the editors, had promised to buy him a meal.

“The crowd went crazy for you, trust me. It was one of the best debuts I have ever seen, and I have seen a lot of debuts.”

Myungsoo’s voice was like a sponge, soaking up all his tiredness. It was delightful. It was not because he was praising him, no. It was just his voice, the proximity to him.

The past week had been intense - he had had suffered from bouts of panic and exasperation, and had, sadly, ignored Myungsoo. His mind had been cramped with thoughts about the debut and his practice and anything and everything related to it; as a result, he hadn’t had space to think about his husband. But now his body ached for Myungsoo – he wanted to be with him, he wanted to think about only him.

Now that he had had his debut stage, it seemed like a small matter to him. Maybe it wasn’t small, maybe it was so huge that he couldn’t wrap his head around it completely. Maybe he would wake up at the middle of the night, wondering if it had been a dream or reality. Hopefully, he would be able to remember what had happened on the stage better. Even if he couldn’t, he would be able to watch the video.

Right now, I’m too tired to try and recall anything.

“Let’s go home,” he whispered to his husband. He had no wish to stay for the after party; his body couldn’t handle it. He would celebrate in his own way, with Myungsoo. Only Myungsoo.

Just as they were about to creep out through the crowded room, Tao appeared from nowhere, blocking their progress. He braced himself. This was not how he had wanted his husband and his ex to meet. And especially not tonight. Tonight was all about perfection.

“Congratulations, that was an amazing performance. Too many people have asked me about you, I’m not sure I like it.” There was a smirk on Tao’s face that he abhorred. “I want to keep you to myself.”

Myungsoo’s grip tightened around his arm. His heart skipped heavily – surely, Tao wouldn’t reveal to Myungsoo what their relationship had been before. He knew very well he was married to Myungsoo now. Even though his husband had told him not to worry about his past, he probably wouldn’t feel very good knowing that Sungjong currently worked under his ex-boyfriend. Several times the elder had told him stay away from his exes because they were never good news.

“I’m sorry, we’re leaving now,” Sungjong stated firmly.

Taking Myungsoo by the elbow, he dragged him away from his boss and through the door of the dressing room. Tonight, he was not going to let Tao ruin anything. Yes, probably it wasn’t the best of ideas to keep Myungsoo in the dark about his ex-boyfriend but not tonight.

Once they were in the dimly lit corridor, he let Myungsoo’s hand wrap around his waist as he leaned on him.

“Too many people are talking about you though. I don’t know, I may be a little jealous.”

Sungjong punched him weakly, snuggling his face into his neck.

“Whatever happens, I’m still yours. And you’re mine.”