Sungjong stared at his reflection in the mirror. There were lots of purple marks dotting the area around his collarbone, leading up his throat to his jaw. He couldn’t single out the ones left by Sunggyu from the ones Minho had made.

His jaw was still red and swollen from when Sunggyu had hit him. It was a good thing Myungsoo hadn’t decided to visit – he didn’t know how to explain the injuries to him.

Ever since the last encounter with Sunggyu, his head was full of thoughts about Jiyeon and how he had ruined her life. It made him feel guilty. But even more importantly, it made him doubt his decision to marry Myungsoo. Was he being too selfish, claiming Myungsoo for himself while Jiyeon wallowed in despair?

But I love him, I really, truly love him.

Myungsoo had told him that the relationship between him and Jiyeon hadn’t been a loving one, that Jiyeon hadn’t been in love with him.

Even then, he wasn’t completely reassured. So yesterday night, he had called Myungsoo up, asking him if he thought he was a terrible person for what he was doing.

The elder had done the right thing – he had been on the phone with Sungjong for over three hours, calmly explaining that it wasn’t his fault. Slowly, the feeling of guilt had started to dissipate as Myungsoo’s voice seemed to have cleansed him from all his sins. Eventually, the elder had asked him when he planned on telling his parents.

Breaking the news to his parents had been at the back of his mind from the moment Myungsoo had proposed, but he didn’t know how to do it. It wasn’t like he was afraid of his parents, it was more about the fear of disappointing them. He knew they were already disappointed by his ual orientation; now if he actually told them that he was going to get married to a man and ask them to associate themselves publicly with him, they might just die of shame.

And yet, he didn’t want to do this secretly, without them knowing, even though it was a tempting thought. Besides, his brother had always been supportive – he deserved to know.

It was with a heavy heart that he packed his hold-all and boarded on the train to Gwangju. His parents were surprised – it had been a good eight months since he had last seen them and three complete years since he had been home. His mother fussed over him, his brother upturned his suitcase to find the gifts he had brought for him. His father was not the kind of man to show his enthusiasm outwardly. Besides, he was probably the one who was hit the hardest when they had realized that Sungjong was gay. Their interaction was nothing beyond a polite nod from him and a muttered, “How are you, father?” from Sungjong.

Lunch that day included all his favorite dishes. His mother had cooked up a banquet which Sungjong couldn’t consume without feeling guilt-ridden. How would she react when he finally broke the news? Would she cry or faint?

They ate in relative silence – they hadn’t sat down as a family at dinner table in a long time so none of them knew how to behave. Sungjong stopped eating quickly, the food seemed to get stuck at his throat.

After lunch, his father went to sit in the living room with a cup of tea. He helped his mother clean up the dishes. He wondered if he should tell his mother first and then his father but he realized he couldn’t muster the strength to repeat the story.

Gently, he took his mother’s hand, pulling her into the living room and sitting down on the old futon. She looked at him in askance.

Swallowing, he said in a quivering voice, “I need to tell you guys something.”

His father looked up from his newspaper, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He hated that schoolteacher look he gave him, like he was appraising his existence. Maybe it had something to do with being a professor, but he couldn’t stand it. His throat was dry as he grappled with the fear that after today, his parents would never want to see him again.

 
They knew he was gay since he was in middle school; they even knew about his boyfriends, but they liked to ignore the fact. As long as he didn’t bring it up, they wouldn’t bring it up either and it would remain at that. It was a live and let live situation where they all pretended everything was…normal. But that was about to change.

“I-I-”

“Speak clearly boy, what are you mumbling about?” His father had always been a man with little patience. Irritation was evident in his furrowed brows and crinkled corners of his eyes. It was obvious that he wanted to just go back to his newspaper.

Before he could deliver the line he had practiced since last night, another disbelieving voice interrupted. “You're getting married?”

His brother entered the room, waving something white above his head. At a closer look, he saw that it was the wedding invitation he had brought along with him. How had Sunkyu gotten hold of it? How many times had he told him not to touch his things but Sunkyu was a nosy brat...

He turned around to check the expression on his parents’ faces. They exchanged dubious looks, uncomfortable and almost scared. He sighed - this conversation would not go down well. They didn’t like talking about it and he was forcing them to. He should just leave and get married to Myungsoo and send them a card later apologising. But Sunkyu had other plans; he started reading from the card loudly.

“…between Kim Myungsoo and Lee Sungjong.” He paused to offer his own comment. “You're getting married to a guy? Or a girl called Kim Myungsoo, both of which are weird.”

Sungjong’s throat constricted as his he watched his parents’ expressions change. His mother looked seriously scared, her eyes wide, her lips parted. His father however looked angry. The wrinkles on his face had deepened and a smudge of red had appeared on his cheeks. His breathing rate had noticeably increased.

“I can explain,” he muttered but his heart gave out at every word. Sunkyu was still leafing through the elaborate card, examining it closely, even smelling it.

“Is this a joke?” he finally asked.

Gulping he said, “No, it’s true.”

He had never felt so ashamed in front of his parents, not even when he was suspended from university for indecent behavior.

His mother had started to cry softly; tears poured down her face but no sound escaped . She looked from him to his father fearfully.

“Who is this Kim Myungsoo?” his father growled.

With a shaky voice, he explained briefly who Kim Myungsoo was and why he was getting married to him. As he spoke, his father’s face started to turn an ugly shade of purple; he was afraid he might choke on his anger.

“Did we raise you to be like this? Answer me, boy. What have we not done for you and you repay your poor mother like this?”

I shouldn’t have come here.

He bit down on his lips to stop himself from crying.

“No I was born this way,” he sniffed.

“Do you hear that, Dasom-ah, it's not our fault. He's not our blood so it’s not our fault.”

His head snapped up as his father’s words registered in his brain. At the same time, his mother gasped, looking at his father pleadingly.

“No Dasom-ah, we have to tell him. He needs to know it's not our fault he turned out like this, it's his parents!”

He felt frigid cold settle over his heart. He wanted to scream foolishly, “You are my parents!” but maybe, maybe he always had a hunch. All those times when he had asked his mother why he looked nothing like his parents and she had mentioned some great grandaunt he resembled – there had been reason for her to be flustered. Now it all made sense.

“Don’t listen to him baby, your father's just angry,” his mother cried through her tears.

“He's adopted?” Sunkyu, who had not left the room, was the first to ask.

“Sunkyu, shut up and get out this instant,” his mother started but his father stopped her with a gesture.

“No Dasom-ah, Sunkyu should know. His brother is adopted. That’s not your real brother, Sunkyu, so you're not like him.

His mother looked at him in anger and disbelief while Sungjong’s heart churned painfully. In the space of a minute, he had lost his parents, and even his brother. Today, he found out that he was truly alone in the world, with no one to really care for him.

I should have known, he thought bitterly.

“You - you hypocrite!” she shouted all of a sudden, glaring at her husband. Sungjong’s mother had always been a calm woman. Even during arguments, she never raised her voice. She respected her husband too much to shout at him, which was why Sungjong and Sunkyu both stared at her now. The look in her eyes was vicious as she stared at her husband.

“Dasom-ah,” his father warned, his eyes bulging. Unlike her, he never backed down from a fight. “Don’t speak another word.” Turning to face Sungjong, he added, “And you get out of my house this instant. You don’t belong here anyway. Sunkyu go up to your room.”

Sungjong was ready to leave. He didn’t have any business here, now that he knew it had all been a lie. In a way he was relieved, he didn’t have to disappoint his parents anymore. Sunkyu would make them proud.

“No!” his mother yelled. “If you’re telling them the truth, you have to say the entire truth.”

The entire truth?

What more could they possibly tell him?

“Dasom, shut up,” his father snapped.

“No, I won’t.” She rounded on Sungjong. “Yes baby, you're adopted but there hasn’t been a single day when I didn’t think of you as my son. And Sunkyu is your real brother.”

Once again, his brain registered her words slowly. He turned to look at his brother, who looked as dumbfounded as he felt. The resemblance was uncanny – he had to be related to Sunkyu - the big eyes, the long lashes, even the way they smiled were too similar.

By now, his father was shaking with rage, his eyes bloodshot and his face an ugly shade of plum. Without another word, he got up from his chair and walked away, towards his bedroom. He didn’t look at anyone. He probably felt humiliated. His mother wasn’t crying anymore but she had a hard look in her eyes as she watched her husband walk away.

When he was out of sight, she took a seat beside him, draping her arms around him gently.

“You were always our son dear, both of you,” she confirmed.

“To you maybe, but not to dad. I disappointed him too much.”

“He's just...he doesn’t understand this thing.”

“And you do?” he looked up hopefully. He had expected a fallout between him and his parents, but if he could keep in touch with his mother...because no matter how he thought about it, she was his mother. She had done everything a real mother would do. He had never felt from her behavior or actions that they were not actually related by blood. She had raised him and his brother, and she had never treated them unfairly.

It probably would bother him from time to time, but he was okay. He had never known his real parents.

“I know that I'll love you no matter what dear. A son's happiness is the mother's happiness. If this makes you happy, I will pray for you.”

“How come you didn’t say that when I wanted to drop out of college?” Sunkyu interrupted. He was still standing, looking a bit shaken. But he was a strong kid and Sungjong knew he was taking the news better than him. Maybe he had even suspected something like this, going by the look in his eyes.

“Not now, dear” his mother said exasperatedly. “We should congratulate your brother. This is what you want, right Sungjong?” she added, looking at his eyes searchingly. He knew she was trying to see the truth in there to ensure that he'd truly be happy with this decision.

“I am, mom,” he insisted.

“But you're so young, baby, how can you know you want him for the rest of your life?” she cooed, brushing his hair with her fingers.

“Mom, I'm not going to fall for a girl when I'm older.”

“I didn't say that. It could be anyone. I just want to make sure he is the right person.”

For a moment, everything that had happened in the past 6 months flashed before his eyes. There were happy memories but there were painful memories too. There had been a time when he was sure he would never be happy again.

“He is. He is perfect, mom.”

Her shoulders relaxed and she smiled. There was a sign of genuine felicity in her face. With his father out of the room, she truly seemed to be celebrating the news.

“Congratulations baby, I know you'll make him very happy. And he is lucky to have someone like you.”

“Hey, how come you never said that to my girlfriend? You said I’m lucky to have her!” Sunkyu’s complaints were relentless. But it helped to put Sungjong at ease, Sunkyu being himself. It kind of made him nostalgic about the days when he used to live at home.

“Come here, sweetie, today is about your brother, okay,” she said, smiling at Sunkyu and patting the seat beside her. Grudgingly, the lanky boy came and sat down beside her, then turned to Sungjong with interest.

“Is he rich, hyung?”

“Sunkyu!” his mother was appalled at his openness.

Smiling a little, Sungjong answered his brother. “He is.”

“Oh well, you don’t have to worry about shopping then.”

“Sunkyu,” his mother warned again but she also wore a smile on her face. It was difficult to be mad at the maknae of the house. Even though he said inappropriate things at times, he really meant well.

Sungjong was relaxed now, he felt completely at home. He hadn’t expected it to turn out like this, his mother and brother accepting his decision so calmly, even wishing him happiness.

Neither had he expected to find out that his parents were not his real parents. However, the shock had dissipated considerably and he didn’t feel regretful about not knowing his real parents. He was curious, of course, but maybe they had been separated for the best.

Even then, he couldn’t help but ask, “Mom, do you know my-our real-I mean our birth parents?”

Sunkyu squirmed in his seat, no doubt, uncomfortable. He probably just wanted to forget the fact and not think about his real parents.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. All I know is you two had a hyung who had gotten adopted before you. We never asked if your parents were...” She looked apologetic and embarrassed. Placing an arm on her shoulder gently, he ran a soothing hand on her back. It was obvious that speaking about the adoption put a strain on her, but he had a few more questions he wanted to know the answers to.

“Were we at an orphanage?”

She nodded slowly. Then giving him a sad look, she asked, “Do you want to find them?”

Sungjong thought for a while. It wasn’t like he had a burning desire to get to know them. It felt weird – when he had first heard that he was adopted, for one wild moment, he had wanted to run to his real parents, thinking he would find comfort in their arms. But then, they didn’t even know him. They hadn’t watched him grow up, they hadn’t been there when he had graduated. They were as good as strangers to him, and he to them. Getting acquainted with two people he had never met would be a long and tedious journey. Wasn’t it better this way?

Biting his lips, he glanced at Sunkyu. He was still turning over the wedding invitation in his hand nonchalantly – it was evident that he wanted nothing to do with his birth parents.

“No, not really,” he finally replied. “I mean there must be a reason why it happened this way. Right, Sunkyu?”

“I really don’t need another hyung, one is annoying enough.”

“Thanks,” Sungjong chuckled. It was bizarre to think that he had an older brother. If they had been brought up together, how would he have been like? Would he have been caring, protective, loving? He had never really wanted to experience an older sibling and yet he couldn’t help but wonder if he would have been a better person if he had an older brother to guide him.

Everything happens for a reason. Maybe this is for the best.

“Bring your girlfriend along, Sunkyu,” he said, changing the subject abruptly. His mother looked a little surprised but relieved as well.

His brother made a face at him.

“She broke up with me.”

“No surprises there,” he taunted, earning a nasty look from his brother. His mother watched fondly as they teased each other. It brought back memories – Sungjong had avoided coming home in fear of being awkward with his parents but he hadn’t realized he had missed being home, with the people he loved.

I was afraid to come back but I love being back.

“Mom, what about father?” he finally asked when it was time to leave. He had arranged for his mother and Sunkyu to join him in Seoul before the wedding. She had tactfully avoided mentioning his father until then.

Sighing, she said, “You know how stubborn he gets.”

He was well aware of that. But even then, he had loved the man as his own father. It just seemed wrong to end things this way. Who knew when he would see him again?

“Tell him I’m sorry,” he whispered to her, hugging her tightly.

“Don’t be sorry, darling. Never feel sorry for being who you are.”

The strength in her voice surprised him. He had always known her as a meek woman. But today, he had seen a whole new side of her. It gave him strength. He felt that he was prepared to brave whatever was to come.

---

Myungsoo breathed out slowly – he wasn’t the type to get nervous before any big event, but every time the magazine attended any fashion week or other such events, he felt an odd tingling at the back of his neck. Combined with the wedding, the tingling seemed to have become more urgent.

The wedding was nothing to worry about – he told himself. Everything was in place, and he had the most important thing he needed – Sungjong. He had dismissed Jiyeon’s threats, and had pretty much accepted that his parents would not support him in his new life. So all in all, he had nothing to worry about.

Munsoo had been surprised but happy to hear about the wedding. He had congratulated him sincerely, but when he had asked him to attend the wedding ceremony, he had hesitated.

“I’m sorry hyung, I love you and I’m happy for you, but I don’t think I can-I can bear to watch.”

He understood his hesitation. It was the same way he had felt after he had realised Munsoo and Sungjong had been dating – he couldn’t bear to watch them together. Munsoo was trying to move on at the moment, so there was no need to make it harder for him.

Minho had still not joined back and with one executive editor down, Myungsoo found that his team was struggling. He had done everything in his power to make sure things ran as smoothly as possible, but only now had he realised what a big part Minho had played in their operations. But even then, he was hopeful. They were rushed, but he was confident that his team would get it together.

He didn’t mind being busy, putting in the hours to help his team, but the downside was that he didn’t get to see Sungjong often. In fact, he hadn’t seen him in a good few days, only talking to him on the phone late at night, keeping him up. It was alright because he didn’t have to go to work but he still felt apologetic. This was no way to treat his fiancé but at the same time, he didn’t have any other option. Sungjong seemed to understand, saying the right things to cheer him up. He was amazed by how considerate the younger was, and how loving.

I’m incredibly lucky to have him.

Smiling to himself, he opened the pendant he had now started wearing around his neck again. He had replaced Sungjong’s old picture with a recent one. That alone could keep him going for hours. Just a picture of the younger was enough to give him strength.

Maybe I should call him, he thought. They had spoken on the phone until 4 am last night. He had rush to the office this morning but perhaps Sungjong was still sleeping. Afraid of disturbing him, he instead sent him a small text, telling him to call him if he was awake.

There was a knock on the door to interrupt his musings about the younger. Woohyun had informed him that Niel, one of the junior editors, was here to see him.

The young man entered, bowing deeply before taking the seat Myungsoo had been pointing at.

After giving him an update on the progress of operations, he gave him a furtive glance that told Myungsoo that he had something to say.

“What is it?” he asked. He always encouraged suggestions from the younger editors. Sometimes even he, a perfectionist, could overlook some things.

“Um, I just saw this by chance, but umm, your wedding photoshoot…”

He dimly remembered Sunggyu arranging a pre-wedding photoshoot for his and Jiyeon’s wedding. As far as he was aware, that had been changed to accommodate him and Sungjong now. Truth be told, he had completely forgotten about it and hadn’t even mentioned it to Sungjong.

“What about it?” he asked, passing a hand over his eyes. He could feel exhaustion sinking into his bones.

I’m getting old.

“I was thinking…we should release a special edition-” he paused, suddenly looking terrified. With an encouraging look from Myungsoo, he continued more boldly, “A special edition of our magazine publishing your wedding photoshoot? I’m pretty sure that would be very popular since people are just dying to know about – well about you two. We can use our wedding line and at the same time incur interest?”

Myungsoo stared at him, thinking about it hard. He had never imagined making his life public, at least not more than the paparazzi could get hold of. To publish his wedding photoshoot would be a significant breech of the privacy but at the same time, he could see Niel’s point. He had probably heard about the drop in their company’s stock prices and was worried about it. With people taking keen interest in his wedding, it might be a chance to turn the table around – use the rumour that caused a drop in the prices to increase the prices.

It was a tempting idea, but at the same time, his hands were tied unless Sungjong agreed. He couldn’t force this on the younger for the gain of his company. But then again, was he being too manipulative, using his personal situations for the benefit of his magazine?

Wasn’t he the one who had said that their magazine was all about the quality of fashion?

Seeing him hesitate, Niel offered, “We’re going to concentrate on the fashion. Just we will have different models than we usually have.”

When he put it like that, it didn’t sound too bad. He would still have to discuss it with Sunggyu and Sungjong, but for now, he liked the idea. As long as they were not overdoing it, this could work out.

“I’ll have a chat with Sungjong,” he replied, causing Niel to look up hopefully. “But I’m worried it might be too much work on top of Taiwan Fashion Week.”

“I’m sure we’ll be able to finalise everything by the end of the week,” Niel assured. “I don’t mind taking on extra hours.”

Niel’s enthusiasm was infectious. Myungsoo felt that this could be one big break in their favour.

“Thanks, Niel. I’ll let you know what happens.”

A/N: So you guys might have noticed, I have changed the update day to Wednesday.