While going through the papers on his desk, Sungjong had found the invitation for Myungsoo’s bachelor party. He had made up his mind the moment he had seen it that he was not going to attend. It wasn’t a part of his job to attend and Myungsoo would probably be happier if he didn’t. Sungyeol gave him a look of disbelief when he mentioned his decision to his friend.

“It’s like the party of the year or something,” he said, trying to convince him to join. But Sungjong was adamant – he would take no part in celebrating Myungsoo’s wedding. Of course he couldn’t tell the other PA that.

“I have a lot of work and I want to finish them during the weekend,” he said with a helpless look in his eyes, trying to win over his sympathy. He succeeded, but not in the way he had wanted – Sungyeol offered to help him to finish his work quicker.

“I can’t do that to you, you have to go. Woohyun and Taemin will be there, so you must go.” Finally, Sungyeol grudgingly agreed to going to the party without Sungjong.

However, he hit another wall with Minho. When he informed the executive editor of his decision, the elder surprised him by asking him to be his date for the party.

“You’re kidding me?” Sungjong’s cheeks were bright red. It was flattering, to be asked to be his date, when it was pretty obvious that Minho could take about anyone at the company, including any of the models.

“Nope, I’m not. I even got us matching tie pins.” He opened a square golden box which contained a pair of matching silver tie pins. Sungjong gasped, covering his mouth with his hands.

“They’re beautiful,” he muttered, “but I can’t…”

“What you can’t do is break my heart. And you will if you don’t go with me.” Minho puffed out his cheeks, pretending to be mad. Sungjong had to admit he was cute.

“What will people say?” he tried to reason. It was already difficult with people speculating why Minho was so interested in him and now if they walk into a big party hand in hand – it couldn’t look good. He had been the center of enough rumours to last him a lifetime; he didn’t want any more of it.

“They’ll say that we look cute together, cuter than Myungsoo and Jiyeon.”

Sometimes he had sudden urges to believe that Minho was a lie – he was too good to be true, wasn’t he? He was the closest to perfect than anyone he had ever seen. Knowing his own faults, he was amazed how such a person could exist. There had to be a catch here, something that he was clearly overlooking because most of the times, Minho just swept him off his feet, not giving him time to catch his breath and look at the picture rationally.

What should I do?

In the end, he had given in. Minho, with his natural charms and dashing smile, had won over. As much as he was anxious, he was looking forward to spending some time with Minho away from the office. They had both been so busy that they had never been on a proper date, not that he expected them to. It was just…their relationship was so vague and Sungjong wanted to know if this was more than just flirtation on Minho’s side. There was no point fueling the rumours if there wasn’t anything real between them.

At this point of life, Sungjong just wanted someone who would last forever. For some reason, his heart wasn’t completely certain that this person was the same as Minho.

Then who is it? Who will it be?

Maybe his heart already knew who it wanted and was refusing to give anyone else the place. But surely, once he got to know Minho properly, he would have no reason not to crown him the ruler of his heart?

Right?

By the time they arrived at the party, which was being held at Myungsoo’s large, two-storied house, most of the guests had drinks in their hands. Minho, who was holding Sungjong’s hand, guided him through the crowd, stopping now and then to greet people with his dashing smile. It was safe to assume that he was the most popular of the guests. He kept the conversations short but remembered to introduce Sungjong to these strangers the younger had never met. All he could do was bow shyly and whisper “hello”. He used to be natural at mingling with people but now, he felt more awkward than ever. If not for Minho, he would have run out of this place, or better, never set foot in here in the first place.

Minho grabbed two champagnes from a passing waiter and offered one to Sungjong. The younger accepted, feeling that a little alcohol might help to calm his nerves. He wasn’t sure why he was so worked up about Myungsoo’s bachelor party – he would treat it as just another work party. But he could feel a knot in his stomach that wouldn’t disperse no matter what he tried.

“Oh sir, you’re here. You’re late.” Taemin’s sugary voice rang out. The PA had appeared out of nowhere, maybe a bit too overdressed and sporting copious amount of make-up. He smiled flirtatiously at Minho, having not noticed Sungjong, who was trying to hide behind the executive editor.

“Yes Taemin, I’m aware. Sungjong here changed his mind at the last minute.” Minho nodded towards him. Sungjong watched Taemin’s eyes grow wider and his nostrils flare as he spotted him. Sungjong greeted him but he showed no signs that he had heard him. Ignoring his existence, he spoke to Minho for some time, then walked away from them. He paused, looked over his shoulder, and threw a dirty look at Sungjong.

Internally, Sungjong punched the air victoriously. With Minho around, neither Taemin nor Woohyun would be able to say anything hurtful or mean to him. It was quite a relief, not having to deal with the duo, especially when he already had so much on his plate.

He was extremely nervous about meeting Myungsoo this evening and would like to avoid it at all costs. Surely, there was nothing he could say to him – congratulations, maybe? But what purpose would that serve? The editor knew full well how Sungjong felt about the wedding and there was no way to redeem himself. Coming together to the party with Minho probably just proved Myungsoo’s point about him, that his feelings were not serious but the executive editor was the only thing keeping him together right now. He wasn’t sure he was in love with him but he knew for sure that they were really good friends and they would do anything for the other.

He actually didn’t mind Minho as a boyfriend but the elder had never clearly defined their relationship. Besides, he would probably want to take it slow because even though he had known him for about six months now, he didn’t really know enough about him. He trusted him, however, it was guarded trust. They had made out a few times but he was not ready to take it farther. It might seem hilarious, coming from him, but the truth was he didn’t want Minho to be a failed one-night stand. He was past that point and he now knew the importance of holding back in order to give more.

He wanted to let him in, but he didn’t want to be hurt again. It was better to wait.

I think Minho hyung will understand.

“Hey Sungjong.” Minho’s voice brought him back to the present – the loud sound of music suddenly filled his ears, startling him. He looked at his side to find Minho standing with Howon, the Human Resources manager. Promptly, he bowed. He owed his job to this man.

“Are you alright?” Howon enquired, his eyebrows twitching weirdly. There was an unreadable expression on his face but Sungjong sensed discomfort. Was he breaking any rules by coming to the party with Minho? Technically, it wasn’t an official party so he wasn’t certain why it would matter. Maybe he was just reading too much in this.

Shaking it off, he exchanged a few words with Howon, who then walked off, leaving the two of them alone again. The dance floor wasn’t too packed but more people were starting to move towards it. Minho suddenly offered him a hand.

Curious, he took it. With a smirk, Minho pulled him onto the dance floor. He still held a glass of champagne in his other hand, having not finished his drink.

“What are you doing?” he asked the elder, raising his voice to be heard over the loud music.

“I believe it’s called dancing,” Minho winked at him, starting to move his body to the rhythm. Sungjong laughed slightly, watching him step right and left to the lively beat. “Come on,” Minho insisted, causing him to shuffle his feet awkwardly to the music, careful not to spill his drink. He was actually a good dancer but it’d been months since he was on a dance floor and his body was stiff. Minho took hold of his hand and gave him a twirl. Then he went around him in a circle, doing an awkward tap dance, making him laugh out loud.

When Sungjong had finished laughing, he felt Minho’s presence behind him, a bit too close. Their cheeks brushed as he heard his breath in his right ear, his chin resting against his shoulder.

“Hello beautiful,” Minho said breathily in his ear, gripping his upper arms tightly.

“Hey,” he replied back in a whisper, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. Gulping, he tried to get rid of the constriction in his throat as more parts of his body started to feel numb.

Suddenly, the music changed, altering the mood. A slow, soft waltz wafted out of the speakers, causing the larger groups on the floor to break into couples. The atmosphere at the dance floor was tangibly deep and romantic. Not knowing how to react, Sungjong lowered his head to the ground, his body stiffening considerably. The air between him and Minho seemed to have changed noticeably as well.

Minho spun him around, making him face him. Surprised by the sudden gesture, Sungjong looked up, locking eyes with the elder. Smirking slightly, Minho pried the champagne glass out of his hand and placed it on top of a passing waiter’s tray. One hand s around his waist, pulling him closer towards him. The other hand clasped Sungjong’s tightly. As their foreheads touched, they started to sway slightly on the spot, Minho leading the dance. 

Honestly, Sungjong had never slow-danced with anyone, not even on his prom. He hardly knew how to, but the more important thing was, he attached a lot of meaning to this. He had thought that he would probably slow dance for the first time on his wedding.

Minho was not aware of what it meant for him so he had stolen his first dance without hesitation. In truth, Sungjong didn’t really mind. In fact, he was glad that it was Minho rather than anyone else. Of course if it would have been Myungsoo…but Sungjong was not stupid enough to expect the impossible.

This feels nice.

Sungjong could feel Minho’s finger curl around a strand of his hair and tug at it, slowly, sensually. It was exhilarating. Their noses brushed against each other’s.

“Hi,” Minho repeated, his lips ghosting over Sungjong’s. The younger was filled with excitement and a feeling of dread. This level of intimacy was dangerous – it could send wrong signals to both parties. But he was certain that Minho would respect his decision and even though he was nervous, he wasn’t scared. Resting his chin on Minho’s shoulder, he let the elder completely take over.

As Minho’s hands tightened around his waist and he made a comment about how small his waistline was, Sungjong’s eyes fell on Myungsoo. The editor was standing by a marble-top counter, drinking. His tall, slender figure looked even more elegant than usual in the smartly-fitted deep grey suit. All of a sudden, the reality of it all hit him – Myungsoo was the only person he actually loved and he was getting married in a week - it was too much to absorb. He felt cornered by life – there was no way out. He had feelings for a man but he couldn’t prove it to him how much he loved him. As for moving on and forgetting him, he wasn’t making much progress.

Tearing himself from Minho’s arm, he ran away from the dance floor, finding a glass of wine and downing the content in one go.

As he had expected, Minho found him soon, asking if he was okay. He felt bad for him – he looked concerned. How could he explain what he was going through to him though? So instead, he pretended that he was thirsty, and drank more. Minho didn’t seem to mind; he fetched him the drinks and while he gulped down shot after shot, he stared at him, smacking his lips.

The alcohol hit him hard – he felt dizzy. He had never been a strong drinker.

Maybe it’s time to stop.

Taking one last shot, he put down the glass and told Minho he was feeling better. In reality, he was feeling nauseous and achy. There was an odd sensation in his stomach, like he had just swallowed stones. Leaning towards him, Minho flicked his thumb across Sungjong’s lips. Cupping his cheeks, he asked in a low voice, “Shall we do something more fun then?”

Sungjong was already finding it difficult to process words and sounds. He hated feeling this stupid but sometimes not being able to think deeply came as a relief. Right now, he would do anything not to think about Myungsoo and the alcohol was working, scrambling his mind so that there was nothing he could focus on.

He faintly felt someone dragging him up by the hands and then leading him somewhere, to the dance floor most probably. It had to be Minho. As long as he was with Minho, he would be fine.

As long as I don’t think about Myungsoo hyung, I’ll be fine.

---

This party was very different to the ones he usually attended. For one, the people who had been invited were mostly his friends or coworkers at the Star. It was his bachelor party, arranged by Sunggyu of course. Once again, he was glad that he had chosen Sunggyu as his best man - he had just the right amount of sense and taste to plan an event to his liking. He even made sure the paparazzi had no clue about this event.

“This is the best wine ever!” Dongwoo told him, wobbling dangerously, his hands raised in the air. His bright eyes told Myungsoo that he was drunk already. Considering his stamina, most people would think Dongwoo was a big drinker, but he was always the first among their friends to pass out. Nevertheless, he loved parties and drinking.

“I’m glad you like it,” Myungsoo replied, smiling at him and patting him on the back.

“This is the best party ever!”

“Agreed,” Yonghwa added from beside him.

Apparently, Sunggyu had done an excellent job satisfying the guests as well, since appeasing Yonghwa wasn’t an easy task. He was truly a genius!

Dongwoo had wanted to have the party at a club but Sunggyu had insisted on Myungsoo’s house. At first, Myungsoo wasn’t so sure. He didn’t like large gatherings at his place but now that he thought about it, it was a lot more comfortable here than at any club or restaurant. He felt a lot more in control.

“Congrats, man.” Howon joined him, a tall wine glass in his hand. His suit was still buttoned, no sign that he had joined the wild side. The Human Resource manager wasn’t the type to party hard anyway.

“Thanks,” Myungsoo muttered back, sipping his drink. He tried not to think about the reason behind the party; he had convinced himself to think that he was simply hanging out with his friends. But of course, his friends didn’t know he wished to ignore the topic of his wedding. Yonghwa had already brought it up several times.

“So you’re really doing this, huh?” Howon asked casually. He wanted to roll his eyes at his friend, but the man wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were narrowed as he gazed into the crowd of people on the makeshift dance floor for the night, unknowingly tapping his feet to the beat of the music.

“I guess so.” He diverted his gaze towards where his friend was looking. “What’s that you’re staring at? Someone caught your eye?”

“It’s Minho,” Howon lowered his voice, not taking his eyes off from whatever he was staring at intensely. “He tries to score every time he’s at a party.”

Minho’s sleazy character was a common knowledge but there was little anything could do about it – he was a grown man after all, well into his twenties, not a teenager to be put on a leash. If that was how he wanted to live his life, no one could change him. Besides, everyone at this party was aware of this so it was highly doubtable that someone would unknowingly fall into his trap. He explained that to his friend, trying to assure him that there would be no cause for concern, but Howon shook his head, dissatisfied.

“He got his sights set on someone, and to my understanding, he’s not too bright.”

Myungsoo frowned at his friend.

“Is he trying to steal someone else’s date?”

“No, it’s his date I’m worried about.”

“What-”

Sighing solemnly, Howon took a large swig of his drink. “He’s wrapped around Minho’s finger, that dumb kid. I know his cousin, apparently he was a problem child in uni, made some bad decisions. His cousin asked me if I could keep an eye out for him.”

Yonghwa squinted in the direction Howon had his gaze fixed and suddenly exclaimed, “Oh wait, that’s Sungjong! Wow, he looks fine.”

It was like a light switch had been flipped.

The fact that many others other than him seemed to know Sungjong’s story was the least of his concerns right now. He had expected them to break up after what Woohyun had said. Apparently, his PA had heard that Seujong had confronted Minho in front of Sungjong, leading to a big fight between the three.

“See for yourself, that idiot!” He nodded to their right, where Minho was very obviously grinding against a half-drunk Sungjong, who looked uncomfortable but wasn’t doing anything to stop the elder.

Blood rushed to Myungsoo’s brain, pounding against his skull. His face flushed as his grip tightened on the stem of the wine glass. Watching the two so close together filled him with unreasonable anger.

It’s none of my business, he told himself. Just forget it, get drunk.

“Are you going to stop him or what?” he said instead, gnashing his teeth, not taking his eyes off the couple on the dance floor, as if they were his prey.

“Are you okay?” Yonghwa muttered, placing a hand on his shoulder. The sudden change in his expression had not been missed by his friends. Howon turned towards him, looking surprised at his sudden change in tone.

“How can I stop him? Sungjong’s an adult. I can’t really dictate who he sleeps with, especially since we’re not in the office.”

“Then what good is looking out for him?”

“I was just-”

“Forget it, if you don’t stop him, I will.”

Not waiting to hear his friend’s opinion, he slammed down the wine glass on the counter and marched towards the couple. He wasn’t thinking straight, but the urge to interfere was stronger than any other emotion right now. His gaze was fixed on the executive editor and he would have pounced on Minho, but someone dragged him by the arm in a different direction, causing him to lose his orientation momentarily.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked Sunggyu angrily, trying to pry his hand off his arm.

“What are you doing? You look like you’re going to murder someone.”

“That Minho -”

“This is not about Minho. This is about Sungjong, right?”

Myungsoo looked at his friend, shocked. He hadn’t thought about it, his protective instinct had kicked right in. There was no way he trusted Minho, but Sunggyu was right, this was not about Minho. The real reason why he was livid was because it was Sungjong.

Sighing, Sunggyu said, “If you love someone, set them free.”

“I don’t love Sungjong,” he protested. “It’s just-”

“If you don’t love him, how do you explain your thumping heart every time you see him?”

Like a reflex, his hand jumped to his chest to lie atop of his heart. How did Sunggyu know about his heart pounding when it came to Sungjong? He had never uttered it out loud; in fact, he hadn’t even noticed it until very recently. Every episode with Sungjong had left him angry in some way, and he had put down his erratic heartbeats as a by-product of the fury. What else could it be? The time had long gone when his heart would pound with the thrill of love.

“How did you-”

Sunggyu considered him carefully, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“You are a brilliant fashion photographer. Minho’s one of the best designers we have.” Frowning, he shot his friend a quizzical look. He had no idea what he was getting at. “Compared to you two, I don’t have any fashion flair. So why do you think I’m one of the executive editors?”

He had never thought about it that way. Even though Sunggyu didn’t have any impressive qualifications, he was great at his job, so he had never questioned why his predecessor gave Sunggyu the post in the first place.

“I can read people,” the executive editor said, lowering his voice. “I know what people want, how they want it. That is indispensable when it comes to fashion magazines. But the thing is,” he paused, biting his lips slightly, “what we want might not be what we need.”

Myungsoo felt a cold dagger slip slowly into his stomach. The last part had to be aimed at him. But it wasn’t like he wanted Sungjong; why would he, after knowing the kind of person he was. Whatever Sunggyu was reading in him was wrong.

Clasping his shoulders, Sunggyu said, “If you haven’t noticed, you’re getting married to Jiyeon. This…whatever this is, is not healthy.” He looked into his eyes deeply.

Biting his lips, he replied, “You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t…”

To get away from his best man’s intense gaze, he turned his head sideways. Involuntarily, his gaze wandered towards where Sungjong and Minho had been before, only to find that the two had vanished.

Jerking his hands off from his shoulders in one swift movement, Myungsoo quickly strode towards the crowd, his eyes searching through the guests for any sign of Minho or Sungjong. It was difficult, since the room was faintly lit but that didn’t hinder him; he had an uncanny ability to pick out Sungjong’s figure among thousands.

“Have you seen Sungjong?” he asked Woohyun, who was drinking by a pillar, with Taemin.

The PA looked surprised and exchanged looks with Taemin.

“Sungyeol was asking the same thing,” he said hesitantly, looking pointedly at Taemin. “I think he went to look for him-”

“Where’s Minho?” Myungsoo asked sternly, this time glaring at Taemin, who did a double-take.

“They went this way,” he muttered, pointing towards the kitchen.

Myungsoo hurried in that direction, watching Woohyun and Taemin put their heads together from the corner of his eyes. They were going to gossip about it, but that was the least of his worries right now.

I have to find them…I have to find them right now or else…

His stomach sank when he found the door to the kitchen locked from the inside. Instinctively, he kicked it open, barging into the large room to meet his worst fear.

Minho had Sungjong pushed up against a kitchen counter, kissing his throat aggressively while his hand roamed under his shirt. From where he was standing, he could see that Sungjong was squirming uncomfortably; his hands angled defensively, little sobs escaping his throat. His feeble attempts at protests did nothing to hinder the executive editor, who looked like he was ready to rip the younger’s clothes apart.

It was like a vein had popped in his brain. He felt a sizzling pain, shooting through his nerves. The next second, he had grabbed Minho by the shoulder, pulling him off of Sungjong. There was a moment when the man looked at him with a frown between his eyes, asking him silently why he was being interrupted.

With disgust etched in his face, he punched Minho squarely on the face with all his might. The blow was enough to knock the half-drunk man out. He hit the floor with a thud that did nothing to calm the anger in him.

“Are you alright?” he asked Sungjong, who had both his hands over his mouth, his eyes widened with horror, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Come here,” he said, offering the younger a hand. When Sungjong didn’t move an inch, he went over to the younger and wrapped an arm around him, straightening out his shirt – it was missing several buttons. He was shivering uncontrollably; Myungsoo tightened his grip around him, hoping to quell the trembling.

“Come on, we need to get you something warm, you’re freezing,” he said softly, pulling him by his wrist towards a door opposite to the one he had come in through. It led to the stairs to the second floor, where his bedroom was. He half dragged, half supported Sungjong up the stairs, settled him into the armchair in his room, then told him to stay put.

Sungjong was still too shocked to say anything; he only nodded to show that he had understood. Now that he saw him under brighter lights, he found that the younger was ashen-faced, his deathly pale lips trembling. He was about to leave to nip something warm from the kitchen when the younger suddenly grabbed his hand, stalling him effectively. Surprised, he turned around, to find fresh tears running down his pale cheeks.

Gulping visibly, Sungjong said in a hoarse whisper, “You can save me from everything else, but why can’t you save my heart?”

What?

For a moment, his whole world stopped. Like it used to, eight years back, every time he thought about the younger. Sungjong was drunk, he was very drunk. Biting his lips, he turned away. He couldn’t face the younger after what he had heard. What did it mean?

Does he still…does he really love me?

There was no way he could deny the desperation in his eyes. Sungjong’s hands had felt cold but his eyes looked warm. Those faultless lips, could they really utter a lie with such emotions? What if he had gotten it all wrong?

What if he was the one who had forgotten what it was like to love Sungjong while the younger had learned how to be in love?

The questions thrummed in his mind but before he could find answers, there were other things he needed to take care of. He found Sunggyu, told him about what had happened and requested him to take care of Minho. Sunggyu looked like he was going to lecture him but he didn’t stop to hear that. Patting him on the arm thankfully, he prepared a cup of hot chocolate in the kitchen and brought it up to Sungjong, only to find that the younger was in a deep sleep, his head lolling to one side.

It was a familiar sight – when they were younger, they used to have a huge armchair in their house, on which Munsoo and Sungjong had fallen asleep countless times. Myungsoo had brought them a blanket, covering them up, brushing the hairs out of their eyes, all the while smiling fondly.

Who would say the same kid has gone through so much?

Putting the cup on the bedside table, he gently lifted him up, taking care to not wake him, although it didn’t seem like that would be possible right now. Slowly, he put him on the bed, resting his head on a pillow and pulling the cover up under his chin. It felt like deja-vu as he removed his shoes and socks, making him more comfortable.

His heart had still not stopped racing - he was angry with Sungjong for being so stupid, for falling right into Minho’s trap. He had had more faith in him than this.

How stupid do you have to be? Aren’t you all grown up now?

A part of him just wanted to shake him awake and demand an answer. And another part of him wanted to verify once and for all if he was telling the truth, what he’d meant when he’d said that he loved him. But his face looked so serene that all he could do was stare. Without knowing it, his hand extended towards his head, gently his hair.

Our lives could have been different.

After 30 minutes, he realized he had been staring at the younger for a bit too long. Deciding that he should go back to the party downstairs, he rose from his seat beside the bed. He would surely be missed by now and even though he knew Sunggyu had it covered, he felt hesitant about spending more time beside the Sungjong. It was like the more time he spent close to him, the weaker he grew.

He was about to turn around, when something gripped him within. It could be the alcohol in his system or maybe the reasoning centre of his brain had just given up. Taking a deep breath, he stooped down cautiously, planting a kiss on the younger’s forehead.

He had no idea what possessed him to do it, but it felt like a forbidden kiss – exhilarating and daunting. His heart thrummed in content. That brief touch between their skins had sent jolts of electricity through his body – he felt like 21 again, giving Sungjong brief pecks on his forehead and feeling like his heart would explode.

This is not right, he thought, taking determined steps towards the door. All he knew was, he had never felt this way with anyone else, certainly not Jiyeon.

A/N: I'm on break, so I updated. Enjoy!