Myungsoo was sitting at the head of the table in the executive room, his legs crossed and his eyes sharp. On his right, Sunggyu had propped his elbows on the table, the tips of his fingers touching. It was difficult to say but it seemed like he had a calculating gaze in his eyes as he looked around. Himchan, Seujong, Neil, and Mijoo, who completed the editorial team of Star Magazine, were all seated around the table, whispering among themselves.

Sungjong usually would seat opposite to Myungsoo during the meetings, taking minutes. Today, however, Taemin had replaced him. Instead, Sungjong was standing in one corner of the room, biting his nails nervously. He was dressed more causally than usual, in a baby blue shirt with rolled up sleeves and tight black jeans. His eyes were glued to the floor.

Myungsoo had half a mind to tell him to look up. With that level of confidence, he would never be a model. As if Sungjong had actually heard his thoughts, the younger raised his head, but instead of meeting the editor’s eyes, he looked towards where Minho was seated. Their eyes met and Myungsoo watched with disbelief as a small smile appeared on his pale face.

Getting up from his seat, Minho trod up to Sungjong. Taking him by the shoulder, he brought him to the table and forced him into his seat beside him, smiling gently. The blush on Sungjong’s face was impossible to miss.

“Let’s get started already, we haven’t got all day,” Myungsoo snapped, hoping to break off all connections between Sungjong and Minho with the force of his voice. He was already regretting his decision to let Sungjong work with Minho.

The chatter died down as Minho walked up to the large board placed on the opposite side of the room. Clearing his throat, he began, his voice loud and his eyes bright. “So as you all know, I’m in charge of the jeans collection for our fall issue. Neil is going to help me and even though I’m accepting designs from our designers, I want to design a few items myself. And I have found the perfect subject, the center, for this collection.” He was bouncing up and down slightly on the balls of his feet as he spoke, his hands gesturing wildly.

Sunggyu gave Myungsoo a long, meaningful look while the rest of the team exchanged glances between them. Minho had never seemed so enthusiastic about designing a collection so it was a surprise for them all. Their eyes shunted towards Sungjong, who seemed to be shaking slightly.

“Yes, I’m talking about Lee Sungjong here,” Minho clarified loudly. “Come here, Sungjong,” he ushered the younger towards him.

His chair scraped the floor noisily as Sungjong got up, no doubt trembling, and walked slowly over to the executive editor. Minho was taller by a hand and even though Sungjong looked quite petite next to him, the attraction was undeniable. His body line more prominent in the clothes he was wearing and the faint eyeliner on his eyelids made for an impressive sight. There was a sound of collective intake of breaths around the room.  Myungsoo felt his heart clench tightly.

“He’s my inspiration,” Minho proceeded, turning his head sideways to look at Sungjong. There was a gentle smile on his lips as his gaze lingered on the younger’s face. “I have never felt so passionate about designing in my life. Sungjong gives my life and work a whole new look.”

Obviously surprised, Sungjong turned his head, his eyes locking onto Minho’s. Clearly, he hadn’t run it by the younger beforehand. The executive editor nodded, then put a hand around his shoulder, pulling his stiff body closer to him.

A storm rolled in the pit of Myungsoo’s stomach – he hadn’t come to watch this, he couldn’t bear to watch this. Unknown to himself, his fingers curled into a fist on the table. Apparently, Sunggyu had noticed, as he coughed loudly, breaking the moment between Minho and Sungjong. The editor was silently grateful.

“So you’re a ?” Mijoo directed her question at Sungjong, who looked flabbergasted and started stammering.

For some reason, Taemin started cackling until his boss silenced him with a grim stare.

“She meant to modeling,” Minho explained quickly, chuckling, giving Sungjong’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Yes, Mijoo, he hasn’t modeled before, this is going to be his first time.”

Mijoo hadn’t been in the executive panel for long now but with her bright and straightforward personality, she had won over everyone in the team and fit right in. She was a talented editor, with an eye for details. However, she tended to crack jokes not everyone enjoyed, like Myungsoo, especially not when they were working. Even then, Myungsoo secretly admired this petite girl with long, dark, flowing hair for her good sense.

She now giggled loudly but stopped when the executive editor gave him an exasperated look.

“Excuse me,” Himchan spoke out, frowning. He didn’t seem to share the others’ excitement. If Myungsoo were to make a comparison, Himchan was the complete opposite of Mijoo. With looks and height that qualified him for a model, the 27-year old editor had been a part of the team for 3 years now and had a very strict way of judging things. He was less about trying out new things and more about making old things work perfectly. The senior-most editor and the next in line to become an executive editor, he had expertise, which made his opinions highly valued within the team. Glaring at Sungjong, he said, “Our models are usually taller than him. Jeans is more flattering for tall people.  Seunghyun would be perfect for this.”

“Sungjong has long legs though,” Mijoo pointed out, a pencil between her teeth and a reckoning look in her eyes. “Besides…can you turn around for us, Sungjong?”

With a nod from Minho, the younger obeyed. Mijoo and Niel oohed loudly, putting a scowl on Myungsoo’s face. He didn’t approve of this, the collective appraisal of Sungjong’s body.

What’s going on in here?

Nodding in agreement, Neil said, “Yeah I think he’ll do nicely.”

“I don’t know,” Seujong contributed, her eyes critical. Seujong was the youngest of the team. She had been selected for her artistic genius. A tall girl with long wavy hair, Seujong had wanted to be a photographer just like Myungsoo but had lacked the skills. Her art portfolio had created interest and in the end, she had joined the company as an assistant editor. She didn’t usually speak a lot but today she had a determined look in her eyes. Appraising Sungjong again, she said, “Isn’t he too simple?”

“He’s not!” Myungsoo and Minho replied at the same time, drawing all attention to them. Embarrassed, the chief editor said, “I mean…I think he’ll be fine. Besides, Minho knows what he’s doing. It’s his collection.”

“Yes, I believe he’s perfect. I know what I’m doing, guys, trust me here,” Minho supplied earnestly.

Seujong shrugged but Himchan still looked unimpressed.

“There are some pretty nasty rumours going on about him. If they are true…” Himchan’s eyebrows were knitted tightly, a dissatisfied grimace adorning his face.

Myungsoo sat up straighter – this was new to him. He hadn’t heard any rumours; he wondered what they could be about.

What has he gotten himself into this time?

Minho’s face hardened while Sungjong shot him a panicked look. It seemed like that the pair was aware of the rumours.

So Sungjong shares everything with him now, does he?

“I can assure you, they are just rumours. It has nothing to do with our work,” the executive editor stated firmly, glaring hard at Himchan. “As much as I love your input, I’d like to remind you this is my collection and if I say Sungjong is going to be the model, that’s that.”

Himchan looked inflated as he sat back, crossing his arms on his chest defensively. It didn’t look like he was going to protest anymore as Minho had been quite clear.

“Now, Sungjong had a practice photo shoot this morning. Here.” Minho pointed at the board - turning the first page, he revealed a collection of pictures of Sungjong.

Myungsoo now realized the reason behind the clothes and the eyeliner. These pictures were taken at the studio. Sungjong appeared stiff in the first few pictures but the others were near-to perfect. It could be seen that he had progressively gotten used to being in front of the camera and his posture had improved. He held his body up better, firmly, without being artificially stiff. His gaze had become sharper and his poses had gotten bolder.

“Might I add that we used minimal lighting and no editing to keep the shots natural?”

Yes, the pictures were beautifully unaffected, a bliss to look at. Myungsoo loved everything about them.

I love the way the pictures were taken; it’s got nothing to do with Sungjong, he reminded himself.

“I have to admit they are quite good for a first timer,” Niel said, nodding appreciatively.

Sungjong bowed, mumbling, “Thank you,” and “I’ll work hard.”

Minho had a victorious look on his face. Surreptitiously, he reached out and took Sungjong’s hand, but it didn’t go unnoticed by the chief editor. He felt the storm picking up in his stomach, whirling around and dangerously close to erupting.

What is this I’m feeling?

To Myungsoo’s horror, Sungjong gave Minho a warm smile, his cheeks flushed. The editor had to look away from the scene. The discussion continued around the table as Minho explained the concept he had loosely decided on and some of the rough designs he had come up with. Sunggyu suggested a few changes, some of which Minho accepted. Neil and Mijoo seemed very enthusiastic about working with a model while Himchan was, at his best, skeptical. Seujong kept on eyeing the executive editor for some reason but Minho seemed to be avoiding her gaze.

When it was time, Myungsoo approved Minho’s plan, partly because he didn’t wish to be here anymore and partly because he was sure that the executive editor knew what he was doing. His insides had been grumbling with anger and with every look that passed between Minho and Sungjong, the hurricane in his stomach seemed to grow.

The team filed out of the room when he called the end of the meeting. Myungsoo followed Sunggyu out of the door, only to realize that Minho and Sungjong were still in the room, behind the closed door. He paused, counting his heart beats that fell in slow motion.

1, 2, 3…

“Are you alright?” Sunggyu asked him, giving him a worried look.

“I’m fine,” he replied curtly.

Sighing, the executive editor said, “Don’t let this bother you. Sungjong might get his heart broken by Minho, but it will be good for him. It’s not your job to protect him, you know.”

“I know,” he shrugged, only to get rid of him; none of the things Sunggyu was saying made any sense to him. “Go on then, I can go back to my room alone,” he said impatiently, dismissing the man with a wave of his hand.

Glancing at him weirdly, Sunggyu walked away. When the sound of his footsteps vanished, Myungsoo inched towards the door, holding his breath. Gently, he pressed his ear against the opaque glass door. At first, it was quiet, but then the sound of muffled voices reached his ear. He couldn’t make out anything. Frustrated, he pressed his ear harder against the glass, but it was impossible to determine what they were saying.

What’s taking them so long?

He glanced at his wrist watch irately – it had been three minutes already – what were they doing in there?

Unable to bear it anymore, he pushed the door open.

Minho was standing unacceptably close to Sungjong, his finger under Sungjong’s chin, their faces only inches apart. The younger’s whole face was red and there was a horrible smile on Minho’s lips.

Something within him snapped, hard and good.

“Excuse me,” he intoned loudly, announcing his presence. Sungjong sprang away from the executive editor, covering his mouth with his hands, his eyes wide with fear.

“Oh umm…Myungsoo,” Minho said, laughing breathily. He looked slightly mortified.

Myungsoo’s insides were being torn apart by a wild turmoil. All he could think about was how to get Sungjong as far away from Minho as possible.

Is this…is this jealousy?

“Sungjong, did you clear my desk yet?” he growled at the younger, ignoring Minho.

The assistant PA looked terrified.

“Uh…sir, you didn’t tell me to clear your desk…”

“Well I’m ordering you now. Go on, hurry up.”

“But Sungjong’s scheduled to meet with the tailor now,” Minho said, looking confused.

“That has to wait,” the editor replied firmly.

“He has an appointment right now-”

Without another word, Myungsoo strode up to the younger. Grabbing his upper arm, he hauled him away from a protesting Minho. He didn’t let go until they were at the corridor in front of Myungsoo’s office. There was nothing to clear out from his desk, no chores for Sungjong to do around here but he needed to make one thing clear.

“You,” he said viciously, pointing at Sungjong, “are mine, not his!”

The younger gasped, rocking on the spot slightly. He was looking at Myungsoo with wide, shocked eyes, his mouth agape.

Realizing what he had said, the editor looked away, feeling his entire body vibrate.

What did I say? Why did I say that?

“I meant…you work for me. Don’t forget that this is your main job, you are my assistant PA. So my work comes first.”

---

“Do you believe it? He was a proper …”

“You don’t say, I knew it the moment I saw him…”

“He walks so suggestively all the time, hoping people look…”

“I wonder what he did to get the modeling gig…”

The chopsticks in Sungjong’s hand shook badly. There were people staring at him, not even trying to hide the fact that they were looking at him. Woohyun and Taemin’s obnoxious voices reached him across the cafeteria, even though they were sitting at tables the farthest apart. The two had gathered an eager audience at their table as they dissected Sungjong’s past as well as his new part time job.  Of course Taemin had wasted no time in informing Woohyun about it – he had expected as much.

Sungjong was disgusted; the food tasted like paper in his mouth. Swallowing the tasteless food, he downed a bottle of water, collected his tray and dropped it off. He had no interest in lunch anymore, he just wanted to get away from these people.

“Yah, Lee Sungjong!” he heard Woohyun calling him but decided to ignore the PA.

Taking the elevator, he went up to his floor, back at his desk, where he rested his head on the cool marble surface, trying to fight off the temptation to run away.

To be honest, he had a reason to be afraid. His student life hadn’t been ideal.

Admittedly, he hadn’t been the model student at University. His wild side had broken free once he had entered college – but he hadn’t been the only one. At that age, most people found joy in the types of things that society didn’t view as ideal. Parties, alcohol, – it was a lifestyle that he had felt pressured to live, without even knowing that he was being forced into it. No, he didn’t blame anyone for what he had done; he had even enjoyed that life, but he’d paid for it as well. It hadn’t been an endless ride of fun.

He had tried relationships at first, but he had really rotten luck there. For some reason, he was always attracted to guys who would turn out to be the biggest mistakes of his life. More than once, he had found himself stuck in an abusive relationship, with seemingly no way out. He had to claw out of those relationships, getting injured in the process.

The worst had to be the senior he had gotten into a relationship with – Jun, he was called - his tattoos, chapped bloody lips, and black biker jacket doing nothing to hinder him. Even when he had found out that the guy happened to be the leader of a small street gang, it hadn’t sent up any red flags in his head. Not until the occasional manhandling had turned to proper torture, had he formed any thought about leaving him. But of course Jun had no intention of letting him go.

It had been a battle, but although Jun overpowered Sungjong in bodily strength, he was like a burning flame. He had fought tooth and nail, didn’t give up even though he had gotten beaten to a pulp. In the end, he had won; he took pride in it, but he had lost all faith in relationships.

No strings attached was the best – he had decided. But he had never cheated on anyone. He had made it very clear that he didn’t offer anything permanent and the boys who had slept with him were completely aware of what it had meant.

Except for that one guy, another senior he had met at a party. He had been in his final year then, a tall, handsome guy, but Sungjong didn’t remember his face clearly. He had been quite drunk when they had met and the club had been faintly lit. The senior had taken him to his flat and by that time, Sungjong had been hammered enough to not remember anything. In the morning, he had left without a note, like he usually did.

The only reason he even recalled this incident was because the senior had kept calling him after that night. Cursing himself for giving him his number, he had cancelled all the calls. Whatever he had to say, he hadn’t been interested. But then, after about a week, another senior claiming to be that guy’s friend had cornered him on the streets and gave him a head injury that took 36 stitches and months to heal. This psycho guy - he had said his name was Siwan - had accused him of luring his friend and tainting him – apparently the senior hadn’t been gay. Of course Sungjong couldn’t care less about the drama; the only thing he had cared about was that he hadn’t gotten hit on the face.

But those times now seemed like another life; he didn’t even want to recall them. He had grown up, in all sense of the word. When he had taken up a job at this company, he hadn’t expected his past to follow him. Of course most of what Woohyun and Taemin said weren’t true but they were a little too close to home.

He wasn’t proud of what he had done or the kind of choices he had made but he could confidently declare that he had changed – he just wasn’t that person anymore.

I don’t deserve this.

What tickled his curiosity was how Woohyun or Taemin would have any inkling about his past. They hadn’t attended the same University, as far as he knew. They hadn’t appeared to know him when they’d first met. Besides, they had claimed they had a ‘reliable source’, which indicated that there was someone else who had initiated the rumours.

But why would anyone do this?

He wasn’t sure he accepted Minho’s explanation of they were jealous of him – he was in no position to make anyone jealous, at least not until he had become a model for Minho, and the rumours had started before that.  The only other reasonable explanation he could grasp at was, whoever it was, he or she wanted revenge.

At the thought of revenge, the first name that came to his mind was Myungsoo. He was the only person in this office he had knowingly hurt but that had been a long time ago.  The elder still held a grudge, however, would he go as far as spreading lies about him?

No, that’s not the Myungsoo hyung I knew. Or at least, he wasn’t…

Sighing, he rubbed his eyes with his hands, feeling slightly dizzy. He had rumours spread about him in college but back then, it hadn’t mattered to him. Because at the end of the day, he could get anyone to hang out with him Despite the widespread rumours about him – he had been in demand. In real life though, these rumours would damage his reputation. They would ultimately reach Howon and who knew, he might even lose his job. The only person who would try to defend him was Minho.

I guess I just have to trust to Minho hyung for now.

“Yah, Lee Sungjong, have you still not taken this file to Mr. Kim?”  Woohyun’s loathsome voice reverberated around the walls, causing Sungjong’s skin to crawl. “Do I have to whip you now to make you do your errands? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Resist, resist, he whispered to himself. Clenching his jaw, he said, “I would have taken it if you had told me to.”

The despicable man rolled his eyes, a smirk apparent on his lips.

“Is that how you talk to your superior? Those masters of yours never taught you any manners, did they? With your temper, how did you get clients?”

Rising from his seat, Sungjong walked up to him, snatching the file from his hand, his face hard. There were a thousand things he could tell this man but he had decided not to sink to his level.

“I work for the boss, not you. So yes, I’ll talk however I like to you.”

He stayed long enough to watch Woohyun’s eyes widen, then his heels and made his escape towards Sunggyu’s office. Honestly, he was surprised by himself. It hadn’t been unusual in the past to stand up for himself but ever since he had realized what kind of a person he had actually been, he hadn’t felt enough confidence to do that. He had let people walk over him because he believed he deserved it. Myungsoo treated him horribly but he felt that somehow he was entitled to that kind of misbehavior from the elder, given their past.

In fact, he had silently accepted Woohyun and Taemin’s slurs. But then, something had shattered within him. He wasn’t sure where he had gotten this new found recklessness. One of the reasons was surely the knowledge that Minho understood him and knew his feelings. At the same time, he believed that Myungsoo’s rejection was another reason.

The rejection had been a sharp reality that had woken him up from a slumber. He wasn’t sure exactly what about it made him so self-aware but it had birthed a sense of duty towards himself in him. He probably wouldn’t have done anything if Woohyun had stuck to the usual insults, but the ones he was using now were too demeaning for him to keep quiet. Minho had told him to hold on but he was a human being too and he had his limits.

When he had arrived in front of Sunggyu’s office, he found Sungyeol eating a sandwich at the desk, even though lunch break was over.

“This is for Mr. Kim,” he said flatly, putting the file on the desk.

Chewing, Sungyeol looked up, his eyes judging. He was a pal of Woohyun and Taemin, even though he didn’t join them as often. Sungjong supposed that Sunggyu was not as gullible or as generous as Minho, so he couldn’t get off as often to have a chat with his friends. Sungyeol was the one who had bothered him the least but that was probably because he had the least opportunities. He had never really missed a chance.

“Well, well, well, look who it is,” he said in a high voice, his lips twisting into a malicious smile.

Sungjong turned his back to him, ready to walk away, when he said, “Don’t you want to see Mr. Kim, seduce him maybe, so that he can make you a model for his collection too? I heard two at a time for you is nothing.”

“No, thank you,” he replied through clenched teeth.

Sungyeol clicked his tongue.

“So you still go to Navi to pick up your victims?”

His footsteps came to a sudden halt. He whirled around, facing Sungyeol, who wore a smirk on his face.

Navi was a night club which students at his University frequented. It was a small club, adjacent to his University, catering to the needs of the students mostly, so its name was known among college goers mainly. It was also notorious for all sorts of illegal things students got up to. Sungjong had indeed been a regular there, just like his friends.

How did he know?

Definitely relishing the dismayed expression on his face, Sungyeol rose to his feet. Placing his palms on the surface of the desk, he leaned towards him, his tall figure towering over Sungjong’s shaking one.

“Truth too hot to handle for you?”

Suddenly it struck Sungjong – the familiarity of the tall figure, the rumours, the vengeful act – they all came together, the pieces fit easily.

“You -” he muttered, his voice quaking. “You’re the guy I…you’re him…”

A grim shadow descended on his face.

“The guy you slept with but didn’t bother to find out his name? Yes, yes, I am, although I’m sure there are plenty that will fit that description.”

Gulping, he asked, “You’re Siwan’s friend?”

For some reason, Sungyeol looked surprised and his smirk was interrupted.

“How do you know Siwan? Don’t tell me you -”

“He…you sent him to take revenge on me. He did a good job; it took 36 stitches to patch me up.”

The grim, mocking look slipped from his face; instead he wore a confused expression.

“I didn’t send anyone, I was just trying to find you, ask you what I did so wrong that you wouldn’t return my calls.”

It was Sungjong’s turn to be surprised. He had always taken it for granted that Siwan had sought revenge on Sungyeol’s behalf.

“That stupid Siwan,” Sungyeol muttered, hitting the surface of the desk with his palm. “I asked him to help me find you and he asked why, so I told him everything. So he found you, but he never told me.”

“Well he did what you would have done, so no worries there.”

Sungyeol looked up, aghast.

“I would have never hit you. I just wanted to ask you…”

“Is that why you spread these lies about me?”

Lowering his head, the PA said in a hoarse voice, “They are not lies. At least not from what I heard about you around University when I tried to look for you.”

Scoffing, Sungjong replied, “But you did it for revenge, didn’t you, bringing up the past here?”

“So what if I did? You hurt me beyond-”

“You had your revenge, Siwan beat me to a pulp and-”

“I didn’t know, I swear I didn’t tell Siwan…” He looked frustrated as he tried to find the right words. “I liked you, heck I even loved you. I tried to find you to tell you that. I wanted us to be more. But you couldn’t care less,” he blurted out, grasping his hair.

“I told you it was going to be a one night thing!” Sungjong shouted, despite trying to control himself. He was too old for this; he had expected to leave his past life back where it belonged, not carry it with him wherever he went. “Please,” he pleaded, “let me be. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I can’t bring that time back, there’s nothing I can give you now, so just…forget it, please.”

There was no response as the tall man continued to look down.

“You said you didn’t want to hurt me, but you’re hurting me now. These rumours, they are hurting me. I’m not the person you think I am, at least not anymore. I would never do anything like that. You can ask Minho hyung, I’d never asked to be a model.”

When Sungyeol didn’t say anything for several minutes, Sungjong turn around to leave. He had no idea if he had been able to reach out to the other man, whether he would stop this cruel rumour game now, but at least he knew who was the source of all this. Granted, it didn’t do him much good just knowing to stop Woohyun and Taemin and by now, all the employees in this building. But at least he knew now that it hadn’t been his present actions that had harmed his reputation, rather his past actions. Even though it was difficult, he could live with that.

When can I finally bury my past?

A/N: So me and my co-author for The MyungJong Files, we started the Black Lemon Award Show [MyungJong Celebration] 2014! Check it out and participate. Spread the word. Since it is the season of love and togetherness, let's spread some MyungJong love among fellow Black Lemons.