JiYong

Heechul had taken me back to Hana’s. Telling me things that he likes his boyfriend to do and making me repeat them stating “I am sure any other girl would like it just as much as I.”  Honestly, I don’t remember half the stuff he told me to do, something along the lines of ‘don’t flirt with other people’ and ‘if she is hurt kiss it better’. I am pretty sure he even told me at one point that ‘ cures any problems’.

But I am not taking that advice to heart.

Ever. For two reasons really.

The first, is because, it is Kim Heechul telling me to do that. And he is one of the biggest flirts and probably the skinship king, so if it were him, he would probably be able to get away with suggesting to solve issues.

The second is in two parts. As a whole it is; I don’t want to hurt anyone. And separated it comes down to hurting ZiTao by stealing Hana in a sneaky way. Or hurting Hana by forcing myself on her when she is still obviously confused.

Sighing heavily, I type in the passcode and swing the front door open before walking in. Almost immediately Tao is in front of me, when I look up at him from taking my shoes off his face has obviously fallen into a heavily thwarted look and he starts to make his way back to where ever he was before.

“She isn’t home yet?” I follow closely behind.

He shakes his hanging head. “Not yet…”

“How long have you been here?”

He shrugs, sitting at the table where Juju is currently stretching his limbs before he pads around in a circle and curls into a ball to fall back to sleep, obviously disappointed that neither of us are Hana. “Since you left…”

I nod, moving towards the kitchen. “You know… All day I have been so worried about her…” I pull out some vegetables and the little meat that is there. “Can you do the rice?”

“Same…” Tao says, making his way to the cupboard and pulling out the rice and taking the bowl from the cooker on the bench. “I have been sitting here all day waiting for her to come back so I could at least maybe explain to her how I felt. At one point I fell into a rather depressive state and continuously asked myself why I even told her.”

Slowly I chop the vegetables, and immediate wave of inspiration coming over my tipsy mind. “You finish up here. I have to do something.” Placing the knife down I rush out to my room shutting the door and quickly grabbing a note book to write everything down…

Hana

When I finally make it home I find the table has been cleared of Juju fur and is set with a nice mixture of side dishes and meat – where did all the meat come from? Tao is still placing the rice on the table when I make myself known.

“I’m sorry.” I say, I know that it doesn’t sound terribly convincing. It’s too light, too ‘I am actually just saying it to make you feel better’. But I do really mean it. “I shouldn’t have just yelled at you guys and run out… Have you been here all day?”

Tao nods, smiling softly. “We can talk in a moment. I will just of get Hyung.” He gestures for me to sit while he knocks on JiYong’s door.

There is no movement on the other side.

He knocks again.

Silence.

“Hyung! Dinner is ready!”

Still nothing from the other side of the door. I move over to Tao and hug his waist.

“Tao…” I say, “Let’s just eat okay?”

“Okay.” He whispers, taking my wrist in his hand and leading me back to the table, where he pulls out my chair for me and then once I am seated pushes it back in a little. As he sits down I start apologising again.

This time it sounds more sincere to my own ears.

“Hana, it is okay. You don’t have to keep apologising.” Tao picks at a side dish of bean sprouts. “I thought about it all day,” he sighs, “Honestly, I don’t regret telling you, even if you end up like JiYong more…”

I look at my rice; I don’t want to see his face right now.

“I… I needed you to know… How important you are to me. I don’t think… I would have been happy with you not knowing that Hana…” He sighs again, “But, I do know that it was a surprise to you. Really shocking huh?” He laughs softly at himself.

I nod, “It was a surprise… But… a good one,” I look up at him, and see that he is smiling genuinely, “I am going to go through with your plan okay?”

His smile widens, “Why wouldn’t you? I am awesome!” He then frowns, “Even if I have to fight against JiYong Hyung.”

Giggling I nod, “You’re pretty awesome Tao~!”

We continue talking and eating through the evening, until he states that he needs to go back to his dorm room before he gets into trouble for staying out again.

“I will see you tomorrow in class right?” he asks, smiling.

I nod, “You sure will.”

Reaching out I pull him in to a hug. “Thank you for dinner Mr Incredible.”

Laughing he shrugs. “No problem.” He waves and turns to leave but quickly turns back around, “Hey Hana!”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to go shopping tomorrow… Like… a date sort of shopping?”

“Sure!” I smile and hug him once more before he leaves for the night.

JiYong

Somehow, I managed to write more songs in a few hours about her than I had been able to with all my past relationships combined. Some of them even fit to the music I had been tinkering with when in her classes.

Even though I told her I was writing then, all I was really doing was fiddling with the sounds provided. It’s honestly been months since I had last written a decent lyric, and at least a year since I have formed an alright song.

Thinking of us doing something together… I feel like I have butterflies.

Thinking of losing her… How can I get her back?

Thinking about her and Tao together. It makes me so angry. She should be with me.

More lyrics … A possible melody…

I have more than an albums worth of lyrics here.

She is my inspiration.