It was 1.25am in the morning but both Yongguk and Junhong couldn't seem to get some shut eye no matter how hard both of them tried and despite knowing they would die during the grueling practice later on, they ended up slumped together on the small couch facing the tiny flickering screen of the computer that was playing Yongguk's favorite war movie. It probably wasn't the best choice of movies to watch in the dead of the night but since Yongguk loved them, Junhong tried his best to be alright with it too.

A sword was slayed and a headless body toppled from a horse in the middle of a gory battlefield.

Junhong couldn't help but squirm a little at the sight and Yongguk noticed, pausing the movie for a moment. Quietly, he asked,"You alright? We can always watch something else if you want you know." Junhong immediately shook his head in embarrassment, instead moving himself closer to snuggle into Yongguk's warm side. Yongguk chuckled and after a moment resumed the movie, keeping an eye on Junhong.

Throughout the movie, Junhong got more comfortable with watching the bloody scenes but at the end of the movie, he asked Yongguk with bleary eyes,"Gukkie hyung why do people want to go to war if they know one side will surely lose and so many lives are just lost like that."  Yongguk paused for a moment and pondered over Junhong's question, "Well I guess we'll never know. Some people go to war out of greed or need. But perhaps people have the instinct to fight to protect themselves and the ones they love."

Junhong stayed silent for awhile and then said,"Well then I wouldn't mind going to war." Yongguk gave him a queer look and asked,"Why's that so Junhong ah?" Junhong looked up at him for a moment and then he said,"Maybe because I love you?"

Yongguk nearly choked as he felt a light blush creeping up his cheeks. Junhong had to be kidding right, he hadn't meant it in that way. Yongguk felt a flurry of emotions and looking down at Junhong's blank face as he stared out at the blank computer screen, Yongguk was so swept away by the whirlwind of emotions caused by Junhong's words that he was at a loss of what to do.

Yongguk couldn't open his mouth to speak and Junhong on the other hand did nothing to break the silence and they found the silence growing slightly suffocating as they both looked anywhere but each other. Junhong finally broke the tension as he stood up mumbling a goodnight and dashed out of the room. While doing so he never once looked Yongguk in the eye and Yongguk was left staring awkwardly at him running out the room, most probably back to the bedroom. 

Yongguk sat upright on the couch as he slowly tried to process what had just happened. Did Junhong really just confess? It felt so weird, weirder than anything. He loved Junhong truely yes, but never once did he imagine Junhong reciprocating the feelings and it was something so... He just couldn't settle down the fluttering in his heart, as unmanly as it sounded. 

But perhaps Junhong had been trying to pull a joke on him? Maybe he'd just been naive enough to fall for it? But something about Junhong's seriousness and calmness as he said it told Yongguk that it wasn't just a prank. But then again what was he to do if Junhong had really meant it?

Yongguk felt a headache coming along. He'd never thought he'd be feeling like this but he was so worried about what would happen. He wanted to do anything for Junhong, make him happy and he loved him but Junhong was still so young and he wasn't all so sure that Junhong knew what he wanted. Yongguk hated how he'd never thought this out before and how he was being totally wishy washy about the matter.

He couldn't just be reckless and tell Junhong that he did love him too, so much that sometimes it was painful to keep it in, even though his heart wanted him to do it more than anything. There was too much put on stake. What would the others think if they found out, what would the company think and the public? Yongguk wanted to love Junhong but he knew that protecting Junhong was far more important. He'd worked for his dreams way harder and way longer than all of them and he'd given up so much for it, way too much. Yongguk didn't want to wreck it for him with any recklessness. 

The turmoil was killing him and in the other room, another troubled soul lay in his bed, tossing and turning. Junhong was horrified, petrified and disgusted at what he had just done. Why had he done that? Now Yongguk would think he was weird and disgusting. He hadn't meant to blurt out his feelings like that but it just felt right at the moment. Now he felt like he was gagging as he thought about what he had said and the awkward silence that followed.

He had been thinking about what Jongup had been hinting at that day and he had been asking himself time and time again if what he felt for Yongguk was love. And after multiple nights staying in bed thinking it over and over as he looked across the room at the figure sound asleep, he decided that he did love Yongguk. He'd never loved anyone before and he didn't know what love felt like. But he knew he loved Yongguk, and it wasn't based on any rules or criterias, he only decided that he did because his heart told him so. 

Yonnguk had been there for him during his hardest times in his trainee life. He'd been there to pick him up when his family had been torn apart. He'd been there to share some of the memories Junhong kept closest to his heart. He'd been there to share the joy and euphoria when the group was announced. He'd been there all the nights when he couldn't fall asleep. He'd been there to care for him when he had fallen sick. He'd always been there and Junhong couldn't imagine life without the strong arms always wrapped around him when he was happy and the shoulders he could always lean against when he felt down.

If love wasn't the explanation to the fluttering feelings that overwhelmed him when Yongguk was around, he didn't know what else it could be.