In The End

Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim

- Vicki Harrison

They are in the garden, surrounded by flowers that smell so sweet and sickening, ignored by the milling crowd of students who are unaware of the two standing, facing each other with hearts in their hands, ready to given away, simply walking on by, without a care to their name.

There is a ringing silence in the air as he looks at the taller boy, biting down on his lip, his eyes widening when he feels a thumb smoothing it out, breaking into a hesitant smile at the familiar gesture. "Chanyeol," he whispers, tears pooling in his eyes and takes a deep breath, hand reaching to take the other's hands in his own. "Chanyeol," he whispers again, his voice cracking, his breathing laboured and Chanyeol smiles, wide and easy, stepping just a little closer to the trembling boy despite the multitude of scenarios running through his head, the dark thoughts running wild. ‘He should smile more,’ Chanyeol thinks to himself, should show off his chocolatey eyes that were oh so y. ‘Kai should do a lot more thing,’ CHanyeol thinks, watching the concentrated features, simply feeling the smooth skin under his own.

He feared that this was it, that Kai had decided to leave him behind, the way he had done so once before to the tanned male. That he had had enough of the push pull relationship that the two of them shared. Chanyeol would not blame him, but he knew that he would not stop, that there was nothing Kai could do to keep him from getting the tanned boy to fall in love with him again.

"Yes?" He asks, when the shorter boy says nothing, simply staring at their intertwined hands, as though trying to memorize the contrast of colours between their hands. "What is it?" He persists when the silence that comes over them becomes too much to bear, and Kai startles, as though he has forgotten that they were in the midst of a conversation. Chanyeol watches him gather his thoughts, watches him take a deliberate step closer, watches him beam up to the taller boy.

"I love you," Kai says, his cheeks colouring rapidly, glancing down as he shuffles his feet, and Chanyeol feels an immeasurable light bloom inside of him, and his smile becomes almost maniacal as he closes the minute distance between them, crushing Kai to his chest. Kai's apology is muffled against Chanyeol's chest, his gratitude for the everlasting patience swallowed by Chanyeol's mouth, his plea for another chance shushed by Chanyeol's hands.

Chanyeol turns him around, hiding him from prying eyes, digging his hands into his back as he feels the drag of Kai's fingers in his hair. With a move that he spent hours practising, he tugs Kai up, Kai who effortlessly wraps his legs around Chanyeol's waist, his eyes closed as he continues to press as close as possible., wanting no space between them. They had been apart long enough. He cannot get enough of the scent that surrounds Chanyeol, a mix of musk and something familiar.  The taste of coffee lingering on his lips. The swell of muscle under his thin shirt. Kai bites on his lower lip harshly, eagerly, wanting more, needing so much more.

They break apart, with lungs screaming for air, chests heaving and Kai nips playfully at Chanyeol's lower lip, kissing away the redness beginning to form. "Take me home?" It sounds like a demand, but Chanyeol can hear the hesitation, the hitch in his voice and he nods, setting the boy down, one arm wrapped securely around the slim waist. They walk to the car, and Kai leans into Chanyeol, occasionally turning his head to bury it in his shirt sleeve, perfectly aware of the sensations tingling inside of Chanyeol. He lets him continue until they reach the car, Chanyeol clicking the car down open before he lowers himself to murmur against Kai's ear. "I don't think I can wait that long," he smirks, pressing the laughing boy against the car, mouth on the beating pulse and he hears the whimpering gasp of want escaping Kai's mouth, hands looping his jeans. "I think I want you right now."

There is a wicked look in Kai's eyes as he shoves his bag through the front window and opens the back door, crooning a finger as he slides in and Chanyeol in a gasp, hurriedly following after.

Kyungsoo sniffs, watching the debauchery with a disapproving expression, lowering his glasses as he watches Chanyeol follow Kai into the back of the car.

"How barbaric," he comments and Luhan nods, his own glasses lowered with a miffed expression on his face. "Sehun never does that."

"Because that's what barbarians do, Han. And Sehun isn't a barbarian." Kyungsoo shoves his glasses up and goes back to his laptop. Luhan leans his weight against his back, watching the too bright sky as Kyungsoo types viciously, pretending not to notice the tears that escape the large eyes.

"Is that what you want?" He asks quietly, and Kyungsoo nods.

"It is." He leans into Luhan, just for a second, before smiling and he stands leaving Luhan to topple onto the floor with a yelp.

"Bastard!"

Luhan smooths down Sehun's collar, smiling as the taller of the two leans down to kiss the corner of his mouth carefully, and Luhan nuzzles his nose along the line of Sehun's jaw, giggling when the big hands ball against his back, mouth planting little kisses over the expanse of the slim neck.

Joonmyeon coughs, standing primly at the door, and Sehun shoots him an annoyed looks, stepping back slightly but keeping Luhan close enough to hide his flushed face.

"Shall we?" Joonmyeon asks, unaffected by the death glare that Sehun sends his way and holds the door open for the two to shuffle through and Yixing smiles in excitement, clapping his hands together as he tugs Luhan to his side, the two chattering quietly.

Sehun watches the pink tuft of hair collide with the brown, a fond smile on his face, as they walk into the cold, brisk air, Joonmyeon watching them with a stupidly happy smile on his face.

"Looks like things are working out after all," he comments good naturedly, and Sehun nods, absentmindedly rubbing the last of his fading scars on his wrist, and winces when Yixing tumbles to the ground, pulling an obviously startled Luhan with him. Joonmyeon predictable panics and hurries over and Sehun... Sehun watches them with unblinking eyes, transfixed on Luhan who at him with curiosity on his eyes but a bright smile that makes the dark night so much brighter and something tightens in Sehun's chest.

Luhan comes over and takes his hand, nudging him closer and he can hear the melody of a song that pricks the back of his mind and is long forgotten but he cannot get over the feeling that he is missing something and Luhan smiles again, waiting for him to recover and waiting and waiting and Sehun finally takes a breath. The stiff lines of his shoulders relax and Luhan kisses the back of his hand, a delicate daisy that Sehun will cherish, and he forgets how to think when Luhan tugs him forwards, forgets to speak when Luhan has him close.

It is much like he is a coward who still fears the light and Luhan is too bright. Yixing stands to the side, his eyes are panicked but Joonmyeon is calm, having seen this dance before. And Luhan is waiting, simply just waiting for Sehun to find his way once more.

He finally steps, a smile easing across his face and Luhan leans a head on his shoulder, wraps his arms around the thin waist and he laughs quietly, his confession of love falling easily and Sehun is anchored, no longer drifting and confused.

They hurry to the restaurant, tired of the cold and Sehun settles, the brief lapse of control all but forgotten and he squeezes Luhan's thigh in apology and sighs.

"I love you," he whispers when he thinks no one can hear, but Luhan knows as Luhan does and Sehun has never known what it would be like to live without Luhan in his life. He leans his head close, kisses the last scar on Sehun's wrist and tells him to order, a cheeky grin later. And Sehun does as he is told because what Luhan wants Luhan gets and who is Sehun to deny him.

Sehun loves Luhan much too much.

Joonmyeon just shakes his head from across the table, and turns to his man. His eyes drift over the dazed features, starting when he sees the tears begin. Luhan blinks, almost lunging across the table to protect the tearing boy from a danger he knows nothing of, and Joonmyeon is scowling, his frown is fierce and undenied, scanning the room for something, anything that could invoke the utter terror that Yixing is currently experiencing, huddling into Luhan as though he wishes not for someone to catch sight of him.

His eyes land on the cause of the fear, and he feels the piercing rage slice through him, while Sehun stares cluelessly, half standing and ready to help Joonmyeon at a moment's notice.

"Yoona," he hisses, the name dripping with dislike and Sehun faces the tall, leggy girl walking in their direction with a sweet smile painted on her face. He raises an eyebrow, and Joonmyeon scowls in response, turning away from the approaching girl, taking Yixing's hand into his own in order to reassure him. He smiles, any mention of the demonic being from seconds ago fading as he kisses Yixing on the forehead, and Luhan, somewhat mollified, that Joonmyeon will handle it, settles back in his seat, one leg resting comfortingly against the dancer's leg.

Sehun leans back into his seat, the picture of nonchalance and fills burning silence with absolutely nonsensical chatter. Luhan smiles and laughs in the appropriate place and the tears do not spill over the lids of the rim of his red eyes, and Yixing even manages a laugh before Yoona comes over, her little red dress and styled dark hair making her very attractive, even in the poor light. Joonmyeon very deliberately tightens his grip on Yixing's hand and he has half a mind to drag all of them out of this hole in a wall shop and go far away to a place where Yoona did not exist.

Yixing smiles, the fear that had coursed through him, the memories of the cold words like knives against his skin, fading away as he feels the press of lips against his forehead, and he sees the absolute eating grin on Luhan's face and the slight smile on Sehun's as he watches Luhan. "Baekhyun will be sorry he missed this," Luhan giggles, hiding his delight behind his long fingers.

Yoona stands at the edge of the table, her smile sweet and light as she flips her hair and waits expectantly for someone to pull out a seat. Only no one does. Sehun starts, but with a sharp tug, Luhan tugs him down, and his smile is as sweet and blinding as Yoona's when he looks blithely at her. Yixing blinks, the spread of his lips unsure but Joonmyeon is the kicker. He simply watches Yoona with cold eyes, a half smirk playing on his face as he waves his fingers in absolute boredom.

"Darling," her voice is dangerous and Yixing flinches but Joonmyeon is steady and he grips Yixing's hand tightly. Joonmyeon looks around, as though searching for someone before turning back to Yoona.

"And just who are you talking to?" He asks, an immaculate eyebrow raised and he smiles at her, before turning to Luhan, already aware that Yixing is frozen in his seat, that his throat is closing and his breaths are hard to come by, slightly surprised at the nonchalance that Joonmyeon is currently displaying.

"Who do you think she's talking to, Luhan?" Joonmyeon leans his head curiously to the side, regarding Luhan with a glint of cheer in his eyes.

"I have absolutely no idea. It can't be me, I've never met her. If she's talking to Sehun, I'm going to rip her heart out and feed it to her," Luhan says equally as cheerful before resting his chin on his hand and looks at Yoona, with eyes that harbor hatred and words like ice. "She can't be talking about you either, seeing as the only darling in your life is Xingie. And I don't think she's talking about him either, since he can barely stand her," he says with a sigh, reaching over to fluff the flat hair.

Joonmyeon nods thoughtfully, his lips pursed and turns back to the tall girl, now fuming her face red in embarrassment. “So. Who is it?” He asks, pretending to be clueless.

There is a moment where no words are exchanged, simply stares promising certain pian."Kim Joonmyeon, what do you think you're doing?" She asks, her hands balling by her sides.

"Returning. A. Favour. I told you to stay away from Yixing, I told you to leave him alone. So now, it's either you're going to leave or Luhan is going to kill you. And I'm not going to stop him. I have enough pull in the police department that your death wouldn't be a problem." Joonmyeon tone turns dangerous and across from him, Luhan taps the table impatiently, a gleam of crazy in his eyes. “And trust me when I say he can get quite creative.”

Yoona swallows, and she lays a trembling hand on Joonmyeon's arm, leaning close to him, her eyes pleading. "Joonmyeon, don't do this," she asks, her lips trembling as a slight glaze appears in her eyes. He appears unfazed, and simply nods his goodbye, turning back to the table, effectively dismissing the taller girl. Yoona shakes in rage and her facade drops.

Her fist meets the table and it startles Yixing out of his stupor. "You'll regret this," she spits out, and she turns on her heel, storming out.

"She has a flair for drama, doesn't she?" Joonmyeon comments, as casually as if inquiring about the weather. Luhan nods, agreeing with him, cracking open the menu, looking over and tries to persuade Sehun to order everything because he simply cannot decide. Sehun is content, kissing Luhan on the forehead, and Joonmyeon obliges to order them all a course meal.

Luhan is excited, practically bouncing in his seat, and he turns to Yixing, his eyes sparkling. "This is the best double date ever."

Tao watches as Minseok cooks on the little stove, sampling his own food before shoving it into Luhan's and Jongdae's mouths. He looks like a mama bird feeding his children. Tao snickers as he imagines the scene and the sound catches Minseok's attention who waves him over. Like a panther, Tao saunters over, wanting Minseok to pay attention to him. He was sick and tired of having all of Minseok's attention diverted to other's when it used to be mostly him.

So, Tao was a little bit of an attention . Have you seen him?

So when Minseok offers him the spoon, Tao made sure the elder was looking at him as he ate, trying to be as y as possible. He can hear Jongdae snort and he turns to look at the other a dangerous glint in his eye. Jongdae quietens down, running to hide behind Luhan who simply raises an eyebrow and gives him the okay to go forth and conquer.

So maybe it took Minseok going to other people, and watching him suffer with Jongdae to make Tao realize that his feelings for the cook was a little more than brotherly but then who could blame him. He smiles at Luhan, and turns his full attention back to Minseok, standing way too close for comfort, completely aware that he was infringing the personal bubble rule.

Minseok simply chalks it up to Tao being an eccentric Chinese fashion designer, having experienced the same behavior with Luhan.

Tao figures he has time, gluing himself to the smaller boy. Now that all the pests have gone away.

Luhan smirks and stands, makes up the most ridiculous excuse and drags Jongdae and Joonmyeon away, leaving the two alone. 

Minseok is puzzled but has long since learned not to question the duo. He supposed Joonmyeon is an appropriate sacrifice to ensure the safety of the school. He settles back into cooking and he hears the scrape of the chairs dragging across the floor as Tao settles into a chair next to the stove, head leaning on the table and watching him with his dark dark eyes.

"Ge..." he hears Tao whine, and Minseok turns, affectionately running a hand through the thick locks. Tao nuzzles close and Minseok simply smiles when hands find their way around his waist. "Ge...pay attention to me."

"I am paying attention to you, silly panda."

"Not enough attention," Tao is practically sulking now and Minseok finally pulls away enough to see him. 

"Don't be jealous of Han and Dae. They're practically my children."

"Baek hyung will kill you if he hears you say that." Tao smiles slightly, standing when Minseok pulls away to drape himself over the smaller frame.

"Han would never let that happen." It irks Tao that he has confidence in his voice, that he believed in someone else.

Tao has time and he will use it to wheedle into Minseok until there is no part of him that can think of anything else.

"Say that again for me," Chanyeol's voice is deep and rings throughout the room and Kyungsoo looks absolutely bored as he watches the taller boy exclaim and then clutch Kai close to him. "You can't have him! He's mine!"

Kyungsoo scowls and press his fingers to the bridge of his nose, praying for patience to deal with the nonsense that Chanyeol spews and wishes Luhan was here with him.

"I said I'm going to England to study. Nowhere in that sentence did I say I was bringing Jongin." Chanyeol nods and slowly lets go of Kai, still studying Kyungsoo, suspicion in his eyes. He hovers over the two, trying not to intrude on the moment but the memory of the chaos Kyungsoo had once wreaked over Jongin is still fresh in his mind.

"I just need a small favour." Kyungsoo mumbles, loathing that he even has to stand here asking. “I’m leaving. I’m going to England.” Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. “I may be selfish asking this of you,” he begins formally, looking Kai in the eyes, "but I need you to tell me to go." Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo as though he has lost his mind and. Maybe in a way Kyungsoo has. Because his paperwork is in, he has been accepted and yet he cannot bring himself to leave without first trying to see is Kai was okay. "I need you to tell me it's okay for me to go."

Kai smiles again, sweeter than his smile from before, with no trepidation and filled with gentle light. Chanyeol shakes his head, hands tucked in his pocket as he watches Kai approach Kyungsoo, and stiffens when the tan male wraps his arm around the other's body, watching in shock as they hold each other for a moment before breaking away, and Kyungsoo's cheeks are damp. He takes a step back, allowing for them to have a moment in private, turning his back and pretending to admire the stupidly ugly mural on the side of the wall, doing his best not to eavesdrop on the conversion.

Kai takes his shoulder, resting his palm on the right shoulder. "Have a safe trip," he says and Kyungsoo nods, taking a moment to drink in the brilliance that is Kai, barely sparing a glance at Chanyeol as he turns away, hands tucked in his pockets as he walks away.

"He'll be okay. He always is." Chanyeol watches Kai watch Kyungsoo walk away, trying to detect the emotion on his face.

"I know." Kai turns to face Chanyeol and he grins, arms wrapping around his neck for a kiss. "He doesn't need me to be amazing."

Chanyeol chuckles, "I think you make me amazing."

Kai nods, sagely and mischievous. "I do." Chanyeol manages to look both offended and delighted before planting a loud kiss on Kai’s mouth.

Sehun laughs as he watches Jongdae bang around the kitchen, trying his hardest not to burn anything. He sighs in defeat, pulling out his phone to order pizza with a cheeky smile as Jongdae scrapes the burnt remains into the trash can and scowls good naturedly, playfully hitting Sehun with the back of the ladle.

"Just like old times," Jongdae laughs as they hunt for change in the sides of the couch and behind the kitchen counter until they give up defeated and Sehun runs up to get his wallet.

The pizza is barely in his arms, the cash shoved in the delivery boy's face before the box is opened, and they devour the two pizzas like ravenous wolves.

A reality show is playing on the television but they do not pay it any mind, leaning against each other, a sort of reassurance that the world had righted itself.

"what was it like?" Jongdae's whisper cuts through the thick silence, "being in the coma that long?" The burning question is spoken and Jongdae twists the end of the box in his hands, anxious eyes darting to Sehun.

Sehun is so quiet, it is like he does not want to answer and an apology is on the tip of Jongdae's tongue when Sehun speaks.

"It felt like I was drifting in the sea of darkness. And I didn't know up from down, left from right. All I knew, all I relied on was hearing Luhan's voice. And even that was rather faint. I was tied down, chained up," Sehun grips his arms, digging into his pale biceps until the spots turn red, and Jongdae makes a noise of distress to which Sehun offers a tiny smile leaning into the tight embrace that Jongdae winds him into. "When I woke up, it felt l was breathing in the sun. And I knew I had to see Luhan. I ran as fast as I could, and here I am." Sehun laughs as Jongdae taps the side of his head, the two leaning in together.

"I was scared, you know." Jongdae says into the multicoloured hair, the dark roots showing. "so worried. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, study or anything. Terrified out of my mind. Both me and Princess Lulu." Sehun smiles, wrapping an arms around the shorter boy.

"I'm here now."

"You best stay where I can see you."

\There is barely any light in the sky when Jongdae and Baekhyun stumble into the bar, laughing at something stupid that Baekhyun said, trying to stay away from the pelting rain. They shrug off their coats, dripping wet, hanging them on the backs of the sturdy chairs and sliding together easily in the opposite booth.

Baekhyun orders their drinks, while Jongdae decides on the fries, and it is a nice moment as they whisper secrets and relearn the traits of the one they love, teasing fingers and lingering touches with eyes of unfulfilled promises.

At least it was nice, until a short girl walks over, sauntering in her heels, her ugly skirt swaying on her tiny waist. Jongdae eyes her with distaste, and thinks nothing of her coming towards them until Baekhyun stiffens next to him, barely pulling away from their close proximity, trying to turn away.

"Taeyeon," he mumbles, curling closer to Jongdae when contact cannot be avoided. "Can I help you?"

Jongdae scowls when he hears the name and he leans in unconsciously, as if to stake his claim, and it makes Baekhyun smile.

"I was wondering why you were ignoring me. If it's for this one, then I must say, your taste has dramatically changed."

Baekhyun scowls but before he can even say anything, Jongdae jumps in. "Improved, you mean?" He asks, his words a whip. "They have, thank you." And with that, Jongdae turns crushing their mouths together and Baekhyun releases an appreciative moan that has him forgetting the world.

"I should make you jealous more often," he mumbles when they break away, after Taeyeon storms away angrily, touching the sharp jawline. Jongdae grins savagely, biting a bruise into the pale neck.

"Try it again, and I'll kill them." He grins, a shadow darkening his face and Baekhyun swallows.

"No jealousy then."

"Only by accident." Jongdae says agreeably, smiling sweetly at the waiter who brings their food and drinks.

Luhan pouts as he regards the menu, cursing his choice to let Sehun sleep in,. "Xingie..." he calls out and Yixing looks over, a fond expression his face, as he ambles over slinging an arm over Luhan's shoulder, chin nestling on his tuft of pink hair."Get the mocha frappuccino and I'll get the white chocolate cappuccino." Luhan nods and smiles, arms wrapping onto the dancer's waist and tugs him forward to order. 

Baekhyun simply shakes his head at the codependent duo and orders his own drink before carrying the tray to the table, all three of them on their own chairs, laughing.

"And then Joonmyeon..." Yixing begins, all three bursting into laughter, Yixing's exaggerated gestures making the story wilder than it was.

"So Sehun is growling like a demented puppy..." Luhan is in the middle of his story when they get more refills are are too hyped on coffee to do anything but drink more coffee.

"And that's when Jongdae throws the beer in her face..." Baekhyun is finishing up when he feels light hands brush his shoulders, a gentle kiss pressed to the top of his head. He looks up to meet Jongdae's twinkling eyes, grinning as he leans up for a proper kiss. Sehun is pulling Luhan into his lap, mouths crushed together like it had been years sice they had seen each other. Yixing is holding Joonmyeon's hand, his dazed smile causing a look of affection to bloom on Joonmyeon's face as he presses a light kiss to the side of his head.

Kai and Chanyeol wrinkle their noses, with Minseok and Tao settling on one side together, studiously ignoring everyone as they fade into their own little world.

"How mushy," Chanyeol comments and Kai raises an eyebrow, poking him in the side. 

"You're worse." Kai snickers at the look of horror that dawns.

"You still love me right?"

"I'd be an idiot not to."

Kai tugs his coat around, trying to protect himself from the biting cold, and he gives Luhan the time he needs to bid a final farewell to the body in the ground, to the frosted headstone. There is a solemn note in the air and he cannot find it in himself to pull Luhan away, despite the bone chilling cold and he waits. He waits for the frozen tears to come from Luhan’s eyes, waits for the mind numbing sobs to escape, but he simply sits there, kneeling on the cold ground as though waiting a sign.

Sehun, on the hand, has no said patience. He waits, what he feels is an appropriate amount of time, before going over to Luhan, draping his thick jacket over the shivering boy and hauls him to his feet. There is no fight in him and he goes along with Sehun, his movements like a hallowed doll. Luhan smiles at the taller boy, linking their fingers together and he leans his head on the steady shoulder.

"I love you," he whispers, the words losing themselves in the wind, but Sehun hears them, loud and clear, and his grin is nothing short of victorious, as he looks down at the smaller boy in his arms.

He brushes the hair from his face, "and I you, princess," he teases, laughing when Luhan pouts and turns away, staring at the grave stone once more.

He raises his free hand and waves before pulling Sehun and Kai out of the graveyard, tumbling into the warm car filled with laughter and warmth, and friends of old and new.

Luhan wonders if anyone had seen Yifan wave back, his shadowy form watching them with a fond smile before he fades away. 

It does not matter.

That would be a secret he would keep to himself.

A/N Hello everyone! I apologize for the lateness of this chapter! It took me forever to write this chapter and I'm sorry it is so short.

But wow what a journey! This is the end of it and I had so much fun with it. Thank you for sticking with me through 26 chapters of absolute nonsense. I love every single one of you soooooo much! I can't believe that so many of you like this story. 

Thank you for your support, your comments, for subscribing and for everything you all have done for me. If you want an epilogue, let me know! 

Ah, I love EXO. Is anyone else excited for the comeback? sort of what prompted me to do this. Although I am so sad that Luhan and Kris will not be here, EXO si still EXO and I love EXO. *whispers* call me daddy.

For the last time, on Moving on From Grief, please subscribe and comment. I love you all,