Waking From a Dream

I will not ask you for forgiveness. What I have done is unforgivable. I was so lost in hatred and revenge. I never dreamed that I could love you so much. You stole what was left of my heart. And now I’ve lost you forever.

                            Maleficent (2014)

It was dark, and he was falling through empty space, with nothing to hold him. There was a piercing pain surrounding him and filling him, a pain that he buries himself in, anything to distract him from his oblivion. In rare breaks of lucidity, he drags himself off to complete what is expected of him, his lifeless fingers tapping away, while his mind whirred, a dangerous expedition for anyone, whose life has been turned upside down. He loses sight of what he used to love and what he loves right now, and with nothing to hold onto, he lets everything wash away, desperately wishing to forget.

Kim Jongdae is twenty two years old and he has lost everything.

The stage is dark and Jongdae trembles in his shoes as he surveys the empty seats, his eyes closing as he takes a deep breath. His hands twist in his shirt, and he begins to sing, his voice cracking and he feel tears of frustration pooling in his eyes.

He tries again, and again, until his voice is hoarse and his shaking is intensified. He nearly bursts into tears when he sees the clock, three hours have past and he cannot get his voice to work, nervous energy clogging his throat, fear gripping his spine and clawing its way up.

“You should cry.”

His head snaps up, and Jongdae takes in the taller boy, with features that are unearthly and he smiles shakily.

“What?” His voice is weak and small, and Jongdae wants to curl into a small ball to hide himself from the world.

“Crying will help. Trust me.” Again, the taller speaks, his voice deep, as he walks closer to Jongdae who instantly moves to sit on the edge of the stage. “It eases the tension and you won’t be so afraid,” his voice is kind, a small smile flitting across his face.

Jongdae shakes, leaning into the other’s touch when he swings a warm, comforting arm around the fragile shoulders. “You can cry. I won’t tell anyone. Promise.”

Jongdae bursts into tears before the stranger even completes his sentence, burying his face into the broad shoulder, sobs wracking through his body, and he shakes, crying hard enough that he feels his eyeballs will pop out.The stranger sits silently throughout the crying jig, a hand soothingly rubbing his back, patiently waiting until Jongdae cries himself out.

“I’m sorry, I don’t even know why I’m crying. I’m just so scared.”

The stranger’s smile is comforting and Jongdae finds himself spilling all sorts of secrets.

“I’ve looked at the line up and everyone is so good. I’m just average and I only came because my music teacher needed to make numbers and apparently I can make really nice high notes. I’ve only practised for a month and now I can’t even sing without my voice cracking. I just don’t want to .”

The taller man looks at him, his hand resting on Jongdae’s thigh, rubbing soothing circles into the skin. He purses his lips, considering something before turning to Jongdae, with something that Jongdae cannot discern on his face.

“My boyfriend,” the stranger laughs, his voice still a little in awe of the word, “he always cries before a performance. He’s a dancer, see. One of the best duos- him and my brother. They got into some competition, EXOtica? That should be it. Or it might not,” he waves his hands around, smiling as he continues, “he always gets so terrified that his body shuts down and sometimes he gets panic attacks. Both him and my brother. I swear Luhan has cried before every major competition in his life, whether it be dance or a final exam. Then, he goes out there and he does well enough to blow my socks off.” The stranger smiles fondly and he turns to Jongdae.

“I bet you feel much better already.”

Jongdae nods, a watery chuckle leaving his lips, “You sound like you and Luhan know each other pretty well.”

“I’ve known him since the day I was born. He’s older than me, but you wouldn’t believe it when you see us side by side. I always get mistaken for a e. Although half the time, Baekhyun is the one complaining.”

Jongdae smiles, wide and sincere, “you love him a lot, don’t you?” The stranger looks down at his large hands and smiles fondly, a tinge of sadness in his eyes.

“I do,” he says softly, and he looks up, a stiff smile on his face.

Jongdae, the curious soul that he is, cannot help but wonder how someone you love could make you so sad. “What are you doing here? I mean, unless you’re a singer. Because you don’t look like one. No offense!” Jongdae says hastily, cursing his mouth and his brain for his lack of a filter.

The stranger smiles, “Wanted a quiet place to think. Normally no one is here,” he laughs quietly to himself before standing, brushing his jeans off.

“I’ll leave you to practise.”

“You can think with me,” Jongdae’s voice is small, and pleading. He does not want to alone just yet.

“Maybe I can help,” he ventures timidly, slightly intimidated by the stare that the stranger fixes on his face.

He considers his words, squeaking when the stranger falls next to him. Jongdae turns to him, expectantly.

“I told you that Luhan is my boyfriend right?”

Jongdae nods, waiting.

“What if the only reason I like him is because we’ve always known each other? That it’s just the fact that we’ve always been together?”

Jongdae pauses, considering the question but the stranger carries on, as they he never intended for Jongdae to answer.

“What if we’re just comfortable around each other? The other day, while we were kissing, all I could think about was the paper I had to write for Economics class.” The stranger’s eyes are filled with despair, and he tugs at his own hair.

Jongdae reaches to pat a comforting hand on the taller boy’s shoulder, when he freezes at the next sentence.

“What if I never loved him?”

“Maybe you should talk to him first, before making any decisions.” Jongdae is not sure if this is the right thing to say, but he feels like that maybe giant boy should have a talk with his boyfriend. “You never know, he might feel the same way.”

Giant boy nods, and he smiles, confidence oozing from his pores. “I’ll talk to him,” he says before raising an eyebrow, a quirk of his lips aimed at Jongdae. “You should practise. I’ve been around Baekhyun enough to know that practise makes perfect when it comes to all those high notes,” he says, the teasing tone that he adopts,a  direct contrast to the voice of despair from a few minutes ago.

Jongdae smiles, and he pats giant boy on his shoulder, before standing in the middle of the stage, taking in a deep breathe, and he opens his mouth, and he sings.

He opens his eyes, and sees the shadow of the boy, walking away, but not before he sees the eyes of praise and eyes of admiration.

Jongdae will be just fine.

“Dae,” the voice is a whisper and all too familiar and Jongdae wants to shut it away. He tries to roll away, but nearly screams, his eyes popping open when he feels a shard of pain shoot through him.

He sees the dark cocoa eyes staring at him,and instantly regrets waking up. He shoves Baekhyun aside, and makes to stand, his head a swirling mess, his frame shivering as he scrambles to the bathroom to hide, to drown out the words of worry and concern swirling through his brain.

Baekhyun pounds on the door, begging him to open it and Jongdae drowns him out by turning on the shower and stepping in the scathing heat. The constant pounding becomes a background drum, and Jongdae closes his eyes, breathing in the scent he has long wanted to forget.

He showers, scrubbing his fingers through his hair, scrubbing his skin until it turns raw and he just cannot stop trying to clean himself of everything. There is blood under his nails, and Jongdae screams.

Minseok comes barreling in, stepping into the shower, barely wincing at the now chilly water, his clothes soaked as he gather the screaming Jongdae in his arms, comforting words, soothing him, until his eyes droop close.

He is sure he can hear the soft tinder of Baekhyun’s voice again, and he buries himself closer to Minseok, wanting to hide from the distant memories.

Minseok is a comforting weight to his side, and Jongdae feels like he is floating when he is carried up, his eyes opening drowsily, as Minseok slips his into a warm shirt and sweats.

There is that comforting smile and Jongdae leans forward, nuzzling his nose along the line Minseok’s shoulder, pressing his face into the space, and he can hear the squeal of anger from Baekhyun that Minseok shuts down with a glare.

“Minseokkie…:” he mumbles, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left your side. You were right. There are so many scary monsters that come out when I’m alone.”

Minseok is silent as he Jongdae’s back, rocking his back and forth, “sleep now, Dae,” his voice is comforting melody to Jongdae’s ears.

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Always.”

Jongdae smiles and slides back into sleep, awkwardly propped against Minseok, hands curling against his shirt, hand clutching Minseok’s. He does not see the pain twisting in Baekhyun’s features, but Minseok does, and he wonders if it is a little sadistic that he feels a rush of happiness at the sorrow that radiates off of Baekhyun.

The powerful hit of the falsetto blows through Jongdae like a punch in the stomach, as he gapes open mouthed at the red head on the stage, his voice causing tremors of excitement to crawl up Jongdae’s spine.

A smirk, swipe of his thumb over his lip and Jongdae is gone, his eyes wide as he sharply breathes in, hand twisted in his shirt, as he tries to control himself. He cannot help the heat pooling in his stomach when he sees the slivers of skin flashing and he fights the urge to crush the boy to him.

Byun Baekhyun. The boy with a voice that could seduce anyone, although his personality put everyone off. Jongdae had found himself strangely attached to the short boy, bonding over taller s who liked to make their lives miserable.

Baekhyun spots him, standing in the crowd, and crooks a finger forward. Jongdae moves to him, hypnotized, mesmerized by the way the light hits his eyes and before he realizes it, Baekhyun has an arm curled around him, pressing them both punishingly close as he continues to sing, mirth evident in his smile.

Jongdae does not hold back this time, voice ringing out, overpowering Baekhyun’s easily before they settle in harmony, bodies swaying together, foreheads pressed close. Jongdae can feel the puffs of breath that Baekhyun exudes, and he breathes them in, his hands finding purchase in the thin waist.

He barely realizes that they have stopped singing, much more intent on memorizing the features of the face before him, that he is honestly surprised when Baekhyun leans forward. He closes his eyes, and feel the pressure against his lips, and with a low sound, tightens his hold on Baekhyun who threads his hands into Jongdae’s thick hair. This is not the first time they have kissed, but each time feels brand new to Jongdae, as Baekhyun kisses like no one else, making Jongdae moan with a simple touch.

So focused, they are, on the kiss, they do not hear the cat calls that ring out as Luhan and Yixing cheer from the stands of the stage. Jongdae parts his lips, and Baekhyun kisses him like how he teases, soft and sweet with a hint of bite. He feels the blood rush to his face when they part, and hides it in Baekhyun’s shoulder, shuddering when the red head whispers all sorts of things in his ear. Things he would very much like to do to Jongdae.

Jongdae nods, and squeaks, backing away, his face still flushed. He spares the two in the stands a glance, turning redder when he realizes that they both have Cheshire like smiles on their faces as they wave at him. He offers a small smile and escapes, running out of the rehearsal hall, smiling when Baekhyun rattles off his hotel number and a time.

“Be there!” he screams at the retreating body.

Jongdae can only nod, and he sets off to buy something to spruce his wardrobe up.

He runs into his favorite stranger, calling out a cheery hello to giant boy as he races out, too immersed in his glee that he fails to notice the crestfallen look on his face.

Jongdae should have known the dream was too good to be true.

Baekhyun opens the door to Jongdae’s room with flowers in hand, pink carnations that he loved so much. stopping short when he sees Minseok cradling Jongdae against, said boy screaming in his sleep, body fighting against him, and Minseok looks up at him helplessly, as he tries to contain a struggling Jongdae.

The flowers hit the floor as Baekhyun scrambles to the bed, practically shoving Minseok off as he takes the flailing Jongdae in his arms, and the results are almost instantaneous. Jongdae is soothed, calming down quickly as Baekhyun scrapes nails over his tender scalp, tucking himself against the shaking body.

“Oh Jongdae, what am I supposed to do?” Baekhyun pleads, when Jongdae opens his eyes and sees him. There is nothing reflecting in his eyes, and Jongdae immediately crawls in Minseok’s direction, curling against his body, as he breathes, and he watches Baekhyun from the safety of Minseok’s arms.

Jongdae’s voice is broken, and it makes Baekhyun’s heart shatter when he hears the hoarse voice whisper, “leave me alone.”

“Jongdae, I can’t,” Baekhyun says, hand reaching out to touch Jongdae’s face. He tries not to break when Jongdae flinches away from him, curling himself tighter into Minseok, who regards him with a steady look.

“Try.” Minseok’s voice is forceful, and his eyes are hard as he looks at Baekhyun, whose eyes are rapidly filling with tears. He changes when Jongdae demands his attention, uncaring of the fact that Baekhyun does indeed shed a tear when he sees Minseok press a kiss to Jongdae’s temple.

Baekhyun walks out of the room, the carnations forgotten on the floor, and he closes the door behind him.

He slides down the frame, and covers his face as he sobs, hands pressed into his eyes.

Jongdae shifts in bed, his body sore and smarting. He reaches over to curl a little closer to Baekhyun, maybe coerce him into buying him a heat patch or ten, only to find the bed cold.

He sits up, wincing at the pain that shoots through his rear, looking around the room, confusion in every motion.

“Baekhyun?” he calls, cautiously stepping out the bed, and almost smacking into the nightstand, where a single note lay, with three words that would begin Jongdae’s heartbreak.

He trembles, the three words imprinted in his mind and makes his way to the shower, managing to get himself clean with little trouble.

He is stoic as he slides into his uniform, the pain that he feels is numbed by the fact that Baekhyun is a cold heartless bastard.

In his mind, the only reminder of last night’s activities are the rumpled sheets he leaves behind on the bed.

His bag is hoisted over his shoulder, and he makes his way to the lobby, his footsteps sure as the hate simmers in his veins.

When he catches sight of the red head, Jongdae marches over and he intends to kill him, his hands fashioned into claws, and stops in his tracks when he sees Baekhyun red in the face, clutching the baby faced Luhan to his chest, screaming at Giant Boy. Yixing is Luhan’s back, ignoring his brother’s pleading eyes, the anger radiating off of him deadly and terrifying.

Jongdae bites back his anger and intervenes. He takes the shock in Baekhyun’s face, garners some sort of sick satisfaction in it, as he loops an arm around Giant Boy’s arm, essentially dragging him away. He ignores the screeching that follows behind, his lips split in a smile of pure satisfaction, and he turns to look at the depressed giant behind.

“What happened?” he asks casually, sitting gingerly in one of the over stuffed chairs that littered the lobby.

Giant Boy sits opposite him, and sighs, tears leaking from his eyes.

“I talked to Luhan,” his voice is soft, and he stares at his hands. “I talked to Luhan and things went so wrong. So wrong and I can’t fix it.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’ve broken up.”

“Tell him that you’re an idiot and that you didn’t mean it.” Jongdae does not mean to flippant, but he really does not care. The only reason he had taken Giant Boy was to present a final you to Baekhyun and with little time to prepare, this was the best he had.

“Do you think I haven’t tried?” Giant Boy whirls around and glares at him, before dissolving into tears again.

“Isn’t this what you wanted though?”

Giant Boy sighs and leans his head back, “no point in fooling you, eh?”

“You forgot, I’ve spent most of the summer around you. You might have fooled me when we met, gianto, but I know you now.”

The tears dry in his eyes, “Baekhyun was watching,” he says as a smirk spreads across his face. Jongdae nods, half impressed by his ability to act.

“So now you wait?”

“Now, I wait.” The smirk that spreads across his face is dangerous, and makes him seem ier than he should.

“Wait for what exactly?”

“Wait for him to come running to me. I’m always the one chasing him, now it’s his turn.”

“You’re a bastard.”

“Completely and utterly.”

“Give Baekhyun hell for me.”

“Always.”

Giant boy watches Jongdae board the bus, and waves.

“See you, Jongdae yah. Thanks for all your help.”

Jongdae raises an eyebrow in question.

“For listening,” he clarifies and Jongdae nods.

“Anytime, Yifan. See you around Giant Boy. Keep me posted!”

Yifan shows a thumbs up and grins as the bus pulls away. Jongdae sets up his laptop, and starts searching for something, startling slightly when his seatmate hands him something from the floor.

He opens the note, and crushes it in his hand.

“We’re not working.”

He wonders why it took three months for Baekhyun to figure that out.

Jongdae wanders out of the room, sleepily rubbing his eyes, as he ventures into the kitchen. He stares the food that Minseok has stuffed in his fridge, and he reaches for the first one he sees, smiling slightly as he reads the instructions on how to reheat it.

He hears the silent pad of footsteps behind him, and calls out.

“Sehun ah, I’m making food. You want some?” he says absent mindedly,barely conscious of the words coming from his mouth. As the name registers in his head, he snaps up, and Baekhyun scrutinizes him with unreadable eyes before cracking a smile.

“I don’t know about Sehun, but I sure wouldn’t mind something to eat,” he says casually and Jongdae simply stares at him, swallowing before nodding, taking another plate from the fridge and shoves them in the microwave.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, suddenly tired.

“I’ve been sleeping on the couch.”

“Why?” He opens the microwave and with shaking hands, take the plate out.

“Because Minseok can’t help your nightmares. Just like how Kai can’t help Luhan.”

“Minseok hasn’t said anything about it.”

“Did you expect him to?” Baekhyun takes the plate from Jongdae and sniffs at the food experimentally, tasting it and smiling. He nudges Jongdae’s hand, urging him to eat something.

Jongdae lifts a forkful of noodles to his mouth, and swallows, barely tasting the meticulously prepared food. “At least Minseok wouldn’t sleep around,” he mutters spitefully and shakes his head. “I’m sorry,” he says, holding a hand out to stop Baekhyun’s response. “I’m over it and I’m over you.” With that, Jongdae takes another mouth of the noodles, the lie weighing heavily on his shoulders.

Baekhyun simply looks at him and sighs. “You hate me.”

“I don’t,” Jongdae shakes his head. “I told you I’m over it.”

“Jongdae, you hate me and I deserve it.”

Jongdae looks at Baekhyun, unwilling to dignify him with a response.

“I know, that no matter what I’ve been doing to help you these past eight months are nothing. It’s nothing to betrayal that I’ve committed.” Baekhyun smiles, something burning in his stomach as he takes Jongdae’s silence as affirmation. “Believe me when I say I won’t stop trying.”

“What make you think I’ll forgive you, again?”

“I made you promise, do you remember? That night when we slept together? Let me quote, ‘I've loved you from the moment you belted out that high note on that stage,and I haven't stopped. I ran away from you because I was afraid. Afraid of loving you. And I've stopped running away. I may be too late, but from now on, I will keep ruining every relationship you have just so that you can look at me and only me. Call me selfish but you knew that didn't you? And this is why you can keep seeing Minseok all you want but you beware, Kim Jongdae, I will wear your relationship down until you break up and come to me, angry and upset and I'll woo you properly.’ I haven’t forgotten my promise.” Baekhyun breathes, and his hands fist in his lap, crushing the urge to take the stricken Jongdae in his arms.

“I will always love you. I will always chase after you. I know I shouldn’t. That it would be so much better to just let you go. I know. I know all that. I know that if Sehun was here, he would strangle me. That if Luhan was in his right frame of mind, he would dangle me out a window. That if Yixing knew what was going on, he would slap me. I know all of that.” Baekhyun stands, and lays his fingers gently over Jongdae’s clenched fist.

“Jongdae, please forgive me,” he pleads.

Jongdae pauses, and he takes a minute, and he remembers being sixteen when his heart was crushed because Luhan was more important. He thinks back to being twenty one and he knows that Yixing is why Baekhyun went off the rails.

He looks up, to the trembling Baekhyun, sees the desperation in his eyes and finally, for the first time in five months, Baekhyun is presented with the smile he loves so much.

“Jongdae…”

“I forgive you,” said boy sighs and stands, setting his plate in the sink, “but I will never love you again,” he says just as cheerfully, his smile becoming even wider when he sees Baekhyun turning pale.

“You see, Baek, I don’t need you,” his words are cruel and a lie, but he cannot stop them from coming. “I certainly don’t you,” he shakes his head, and turns to face Baekhyun, hands tracing over soft skin, “so if you want even the hope of winning me back, you’re going to have to try hard.”

Jongdae walks over to where Minseok is standing, his grin just as sadistic as Jongdae’s, “and you’re going to have to try very hard,” he purrs, and he tugs Minseok back into the room, his body humming with satisfaction.

He proceeds to be very vocal about his wants, and he knows that Baekhyun is listening, can picture the eyes squeezed shut, with tears flowing down his face, as he feels the despair that Jongdae once felt.

Sated, Jongdae rests against Minseok, the small and fragile person he was vanishing rapidly, and the colour in his cheeks returning as begins to giggle and laugh. Minseok a path from the swell of his rear to his neck, pressing feather light kisses to any expanse of skin he can reach. When Jongdae turns to him with shining eyes, Minseok cannot help but smile, sitting up as he leans into Jongdae, both fitting like forced puzzle pieces.

“Anything you want, Dae,” he says, planting a kiss of his temple.

Jongdae wakes up in a long armchair with a blanket draped over him and he looks around in shock, his eyes widening as he takes in the pristine room, the gleaming tables, the shimmering curtains that streamed sunlight, and promptly falls over his own legs when he tries to get out of the couch.

Immediately, a man with dark hair and gentle eyes hurries over to help him while a taller student openly laughs. He is shushed, with a whack to the head by a third person holding a spatula. When a cold hand touches his face, his attention is immediately drawn back to the man with kind eyes.

“Hello Jongdae,” he says, his smile so pleasant, Jongdae wants to cry. “My name is Joonmyeon, do you remember me? I sit beside you in Government?”

Jongdae nods distractedly, “yeah, yeah I remember you. All the girls call you Suho or something like that…” he says, grabbing his head and groaning when he feels the splitting pain sear through him.  

Joonmyeon nods, “you don’t have to call me that. I still haven’t figured out why they call me that…” he says thoughtfully, running light fingers through Jongdae’s hair, smiling when he hears the pleased sound that escapes the over worked boy as he massages his scalp.

“You were walking out of Government when you passed out, and cracked your skull on a table. I managed to bring you here because you said you hated hospitals, and I didn't want you to be stuck in an infirmary.”

Jongdae smiles thankfully, his fingers resting lightly on Suho’s wrist and he is calmed when he feels the steady pound of the student council president’s pulse under his fingers.

“Thanks.”

“You know, I know you got here on advanced placement* and that you feel like you have to prove you’re not a simple high school student anymore, but it is good to take a break every now and then, hand out with friends.” Joonmyeon’s voice is unassuming and gentle, as he continues to work his magic on Jongdae’s head.

“I don’t have any friends,” Jongdae mumbles and moves to bat the gentle hands from his head and storm off. “And I’m not working hard to prove anything.”

It is then the spatula wielding boy comes forward, taking Jongdae’s face in his hands, smiling when shock flits across Jongdae’s face. “You’re always welcome here,” he chirps, squishing Jongdae’s face in his hands, and Jongdae is too afraid to move.

“Who are you?” he manages to squeak out, curling into Joonmyeon in fright. “Where am I?” he asks belatedly, realizing that he has no idea where he is.

“I’m Minseok, and if you’re lucky, in my bed.”

“So, a ert then?” Jongdae manages, and Joonmyeon laughs at the affronted look on Minseok’s face.

“This is the student council room. And yes, Minseok hyung is a ert,” Joonmyeon says, covering his mouth as he laughs. Jongdae cracks a small smile and Minseok sniffs, before pushing a plate into Jongdae’s hands.

“ert or not, I am still a great cook. Eat up. You’re nothing but skin and bones.”

“Are you trying to fatten me up to bake me into a pie?”

“Only if you promise not to stuff me into a oven.”

Jongdae smiles, and nearly moans when he eats a forkful of white soup. He misses the look of want on Minseok’s face and continues to greedily spoon it into his mouth. Minseok coos over him and Joonmyeon leaves him to it, shaking his head as he walks to Tao.

He felt sorry for Jongdae but he knew that once Minseok took an interest in someone, there was no turning back. Hopefully, Jongdae would not be terribly hurt by the events that follow.

Baekhyun bites his lips as he watches Jongdae laugh, his whole body shaking uncontrollably when Tao slips on the ottoman and goes flying, skidding across the hall. Joonmyeon chuckles before going to help the crying boy, gently rubbing the hurt ankle.

He cracks a small smile, before slipping away to the kitchen. Two months have gone by and while Baekhyun thought he had been making progress, he had yet to see Jongdae laugh so freely around him.

He has spent every minute hating himself for his poor choices and he knows he would never intentionally hurt Jongdae. Being three quarters drunk most of the time changes things and he had done something he could never fix.

“Are you an idiot?”

Baekhyun looks up, and is shocked to see Minseok standing in front of him. He swallows, musters a nervous smile, “Minseok.”

“That was a dumb question. You’re always an idiot.”

Baekhyun stays silent, and waits for the normal scolding.

“You know he fell in love with you because you were a proud, arrogant , right?”

Baekhyun looks up in surprise, blinking as he opens his mouth, closing it when Minseok holds up a hand.

“He doesn’t want this meek, docile prat that you’ve become. He wants big signs that say ‘I love you’ in disgusting pink letters. He wants you to hug him in public. He wants a confident who follows up on his words.”

“Why are you helping me?”

“Because that idiot is still in love with you. And he’s just waiting for you to come up with something that will make him forget. Forget that you’re an . That you cheated on him. That he’ll never be as important as your friends.”

“That’s not true,” Baekhyun’s palm is flat on the counter, stinging heat, “He’s always important to me.”

“Apparently not enough, if you slept with others.”

“I was drunk and I made ty choices.”

“Well, you’re sober and you’re making ty choices now. What’s your excuse?”

“I’d die for Jongdae. Would you?”

“Of course not. I don’t want him to sit through my funeral! DO you even love him at all?”

Neither notice how loud their argument has gotten, nor do they notice the slip of a figure that enters the kitchen.

“I love Jongdae and I’ll prove it!”

“And exactly how are you going to do that, by screaming at someone else in a kitchen?”

Both turn to Jongdae who calmly pours himself a cup of hot chocolate, sipping at it as he watches Baekhyun over the rim of his glass.

Baekhyun seem at a loss for words, swallowing as he tries to think of something.

“Well?”

“I’ll do anything you want,” Baekhyun’s words are hasty and he looks at Jongdae, determination mixed with despair.

Jongdae regards him, a blank look in his face before he turns, rummaging through the drawer, and pulling out a wicked looking knife, sharp and new. He carelessly tosses it to Baekhyun who winces when the hilt smacks into his knuckles.

“You said you’d die for me, right?” Jongdae waits for the nervous nod that Baekhyun gives before continuing, “so die. Die and prove you love me.”

Baekhyun swallows, gripping the knife tightly in his hands as he stares at Jongdae with horror in his eyes. Jongdae merely regards him with amusement, waiting for Baekhyun to do something.

Baekhyun takes a deep breath and raises the knife to his chest, his face setting into a line of determination, his eyes focused on Jongdae’s, and he says, loud and clear, “I love you, Kim Jongdae,” and brings the knife down only to feel the wind knocked out of him when the hilt smacks into his chest.

He stares at the knife in shock, and experimentally presses the tip down, watching it sink back into the hilt in disbelief.

“What the hell?” he says in shock and he watches Jongdae stare at him, with his mouth agape.

“I should be asking that!” Jongdae hisses, “are you an idiot?” He throws his hands up in the air. “Don’t answer that! You obviously are. Why would you willingly shove a knife in your chest?”

“You told me to!”

“Well, if I told you to jump out the window, would you?”

“Do I have to do it now? I just got almost stabbed…”

“You idiot!”

“That hurt. I stabbed myself there.” Baekhyun rubs the spot in his chest where Jongdae hits, his face red with anger.

Jongdae storms out of the kitchen and Baekhyun watches him go with a shake of his head. “Why is he so upset?”

“He thought you wouldn’t do it,” Minseok looks mildly impressed. “His plan was for you to say you couldn’t do it and then for him to show you the retractable hilt and call you a coward and make fun of you until you died.”

Baekhyun swallows, “well, I’m glad I nearly killed myself then.”

“Yes, you are a right idiot then," Minseok quirks an eyebrow and gestures to the door Jongdae has just stomped out of. "Now’s the time to go after him.”

“Right.”

Baekhyun scrambles after Jongdae and Minseok shakes his head in disgust.

“Morning. I made pancakes. Or well, I tried to.”

Jongdae stares at the burnt charcoal on his plate and cracks a tired grin, as he eases himself into a chair.

“Are you alright? I know I should have held back last night. But we’d been fighting and I missed you and…”

Baekhyun’s ramblings are cut off when Jongdae takes a bite of burnt pancake and makes a muffled sound, spitting it out with a chuckle.

“How bout I make us something?” he asks gently, nudging Baekhyun out of the way, smiling when light hands rest on his waist.

“No, you should rest. Tell me what to do and…”

“Baekhyun, relax. I’m not some blushing you deflowered. I’m fine,” Jongdae rests a hand on Baekhyun wrist, calming the worried boy down. Baekhyun rests his head on Jongdae’s shoulder as he makes pancakes all over again. Somehow, they manage with Baekhyun clinging to Jongdae, and Jongdae wincing at every sudden move.

“What’s up with you?” Jongdae asks playfully.

“I have something to say…” Baekhyun bites his lip nervously, hand twisting in his shirt.

“”If you just wanted to tell me that this was a one night stand, you could’ve left a note. I’m used to notes,” Jongdae says flippantly, as he chews on his pancakes, swallowing as he feels the crushing weight that he used to associate with Baekhyun coming back.

Almost immediately, Baekhyun shakes his head, half panicking as he reaches to take Jongdae’s free hand. He tries to figure out a way to communicate his intentions to Jongdae but for once, words fails him. So he takes Luhan's ty advice to heart and decides to just tell him, and let the chips fall where they may.

“No. No. No. No. That’s not what I want,” he says, scrambling for the right words, despite his conviction. Jongdae can only look at him curiously and it breaks Baekhyun’s heart to see Jongdae think that Baekhyun would not want him. So he does the only thing he can think of.

Baekhyun gets down on one knee, still clutching Jongdae’s hand.

The pancakes in Jongdae’s hand falls as he takes in Baekhyun on his knee and Jongdae tries to pull his hand away, squealing when Baekhyun holds on tight.

“Kim Jongdae. I’ve done terrible things to you in the past. Things I regret a lot. I would appreciate it if you forgot about them,” Jongdae mumbles that he has, half horrified as he covers his face with his free hand, and mutters for Baekhyun to stop being ridiculous, “I want you to let me love you forever. Kim Jongdae, so will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?”

Jongdae squeaks, and hits Baekhyun with a pancake before turning red and nodding yes, planting an embarrassed kiss to Baekhyun’s cheek, which immediately turns into something a lot less decent.

“Thank god, I sent Sehun upstairs,” Baekhyun mumbles as he presses Jongdae onto the table, honey spilling beautifully on his skin.

“Dr. Jung, is Sehun alright?” Jongdae asks, clutching onto Minseok’s and Baekhyun’s hands tightly enough that there is no circulation. Luhan has Sehun’s head cradled in his lap as he waits for the doctor’s reply anxiously.

“I don’t know how to say this,” Dr. Jung scratches the back of his head apprehensively as he looks at all the eyes staring at him. Dr. Kim smiles at Luhan and pokes Sehun lightly in the side.

“What’s wrong with him?” Kai’s voice is fierce and it cuts through the muttering in the room.

Dr Jung takes a deep breath and looks at them, “He’s sleeping.”

“What?” Jongdae screeches, jumping to his feet, a mixture of shock and anger slicing through him. He nearly grabs the doctor by collar but both Minseok and Baekhyun hold him back, hands clamoring all over his body, in an effort to calm him. He takes a deep breath and gestures for the doctor to go on, the look in his eyes more manic then ever before.

“He wanted to surprise everyone after waking up and demanded that I tell no one and that I drive him here. He assured me he was feeling quite well rested, having slept eight months. But I think the strain of the tests and just the condition of his body got to him. He was exhausted climbing the stairs, and so he fell asleep once he got here…”

Baekhyun looks ready to strangle the doctor with his bare hands and Luhan scowls, gently patting Sehun’s head.

“Everyone is an idiot,” Jongdae says and helps Luhan carry Sehun to his room.

Author's note: What's this? Another Chapter? Another Interlude? This is what happens when I see comments. I get motivated and fired up! And chapters churn out like water. Also, because I will be busy this weekend so I might not post so quickly.....

In honor of Halloween, which is my favourite holiday in the whole world, next chapter will also be an interlude- a Halloween chapter! I really love Halloween and I don't want angst on Halloween, so this will be more fluffy and more crack-y (?). I'm sugar high, forgive me. (or not, I don't care...Halloween! Is! Coming!)

Enjoy!

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