After calming myself down, I enter the practice room. The guys are playing around and laughing. I sit down in the corner and watch them with a slight smile. Minhyuk then comes over and asks if he can have my phone. I hesitantly give it to him and he runs off with it.

“Hey guys, selca time!” he says and everyone gathers to take a picture. Then Minhyuk takes a lot of selcas of himself before giving my phone back.

“Treasure those pictures,” he says and winks before he walks over and picks up his guitar. I look through the pictures and smile to myself. I especially like the picture of all the members together. I close the gallery and look at my wallpaper. It’s a picture of Ilhoon and me. The picture always makes me smile and it’s my favorite picture. Suddenly I hear the door open and I look up. Changsub steps in and everyone welcomes him. He sits down by his drums and checks that everything’s okay. Then he takes off his jacket and my jaw drops. I just realize that I have never seen Changsub in anything else but long sleeves. Because if I had, I couldn’t possibly have missed this. Both of his arms are covered in tattoos from shoulder to wrist, only with a few empty spaces between some of the tattoos. Changsub catches me looking at his arms and he reaches for his jacket to put it back on.

“Don’t,” I say and get up. I start towards him and look at his tattoos. “I like them,” I admit and his eyes widen. “Really?” he asks surprised and I nod, “I thought you wouldn’t like it so I hid them away. Especially during work I didn’t want them to show.”

“Are you kidding me?” I ask and he looks surprised, “I don’t mind them showing during work hours. Now that it’s getting hotter you won’t be able to wear long sleeves. Just show them off and if the costumers don’t like them, they can leave.”

Changsub looks at me for a long while with a stunned facial expression. “Are you sure it’s okay?” he asks and I nod. “I’m the boss and if I say it’s fine, it’s fine,” I reassure him and he smiles. “Thanks, Heejin,” he says and I shake my head. “Don’t mind that. Now start practicing,” I say and walk back to my corner.

After half an hour’s practice they take a break. Changsub checks on Taekwoon, Peniel goes outside to smoke while Ilhoon and Sungjae need some fresh air. Which leaves Eunkwang, Minhyuk and me in the practice room. Minhyuk puts his guitar down and comes over to me. He sits down in front of me with his back towards me.

“Heejin can you give me a massage? My shoulders are tense,” he says and I’m baffled. He always acts so natural around me. Is he not affected at all like I am? He’s probably at ease with this, because he’s done it with a ton of girls. It has become a habit to him. Maybe the rumor about him being a star in Japan isn’t just a rumor. No matter the case I decide that a massage can’t hurt. I reach for his shoulders and start massaging them. He’s obviously enjoying it and hangs his head.

“You look like you’re having an , Minhyuk,” Eunkwang says teasingly. “I am,” Minhyuk sighs and Eunkwang laughs while I roll my eyes. Then Eunkwang leaves the room and I’m left alone with Minhyuk. Because he’s hanging his head, his neck is exposed. I can see the leather strap that holds the plectrum I saw earlier. I sudden get really curious.

“Minhyuk oppa,” I say and he moves his head a little to show that he’s listening, “the plectrum you’re wearing around your neck, what does it mean to you?”

He’s silent for a little while before answering my question. “The man who taught me how to play guitar gave it to me. It was my first ever plectrum and it has value. That’s why I keep it around my neck,” he says and turns his head a bit so he can see me, “why do you ask?”

“Curiosity,” I say and he smiles. “Good,” he says and faces forward, “if you’re curious about me that means you’re interested in me.”

I don’t get to comment on that because just then all the members return. I stop massaging Minhyuk’s shoulders and he gets up. Then Eunkwang steps forward and looks at me.

“Heejin there’s something we want to ask of you,” he says and I suddenly fear what he’s going to say, “the guys and I have talked about it and we all agree on this.”

I must have looked really nervous because he assures me that it’s nothing bad or serious. “We have all agreed that we feel a little awkward when you call us oppa,” he says and everyone except Ilhoon and Sungjae nod, “since you’re our manager and boss we would prefer if you speak banmal to us and don’t call any of us oppa. It would be a lot more comfortable for us. Especially when we’re at work. Can you do that?”

I’m very surprised by his words and look at each one of them. They all look like they agree with Eunkwang but I still feel a bit weird about this. Eunkwang and Minhyuk are both four years older than me and it seems disrespectful if I use banmal with them.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I ask and they all nod, “I won’t seem like I’m rude with you guys.”

“Just say that you will do it so we can move on with practice,” Ilhoon says impatiently and I run a hand through my hair. “Fine. I will use banmal and not call any of you oppa from now on,” I say and they all get back to their instruments. They start practicing again and I watch them. I guess they really want to become closer with me since they even want me to talk to them as if we were the same age. I feel like I’m growing more and more fond of these guys and I want to stay with them. With every passing day I walk further into their world. And I don’t regret a thing.

It’s Saturday and the café opens in about an hour. But I just realized we’re missing some things and ask Peniel to come with me to the market so we can by it. While walking side by side I realize that I actually don’t know much about him or his past. I don’t know much about any of the members except for what I was told by their fans. But that’s mainly rumors and I’m not sure what to believe. But I can’t bring myself to ask because it could be something he doesn’t want to talk about. The only thing I know is that he’s born and raised in Chicago Illinois and that his parents still live there. I’m not sure why he came to Korea, how long he’s been here or what he has been doing while being here.

Suddenly someone calls Peniel’s name and we both turn around to see who it is. It’s a guy that I don’t know, but from Peniel’s facial expression I’m sure he knows him. And it looks like he doesn’t want to see him.

“Hey Peniel, long time no see,” he says and smiles widely. Then he looks at me and I don’t like the look on his face. “Your girlfriend?” he asks and I squint a little. “What do you want Danny?” he asks and the guy, whose name apparently is Danny, steps closer to Peniel. “I hear it has been a while since you had some,” he whispers but it’s loud enough for me to hear, “I have some on me right now if you want to buy.”

I don’t understand and look at Peniel. He looks really frightened and fights to hide it. “I don’t do that anymore. I’ve been clean for six month and I’m not planning on starting over,” he says through clenched teeth. The guy ignores Peniel’s words and says: “You’re smoking cigarettes right? To try and compensate. But it’s not working and you’re still craving. All the time.”

Peniel swallows and takes a step back as Danny pulls out something from his pocket. I immediately realize what it is and look at Peniel with a shocked expression. Peniel used to be a drug addict!?

I look at Peniel’s face and can see how his eyes are changing. He’s getting weak in front of drugs and his resistance is crumbling.

“He’s not buying any,” I say and take Peniel’s hand. I start pulling him away and at first he’s resisting. But then he gives up and starts following me. When we reach the market I let go of his hand. I want to ask him a lot of questions, but I know that now is not the right time. If he wants to tell me then I’ll listen and if not then I’ll not push him. I just walk around among the stalls and pick out the things we need, while Peniel just follows me in silence. When we’re done shopping, I’m about to walk back to the café when Peniel grabs my arm. I look at him and I can see the pain in his eyes.

“I have to talk to you,” he says in a subdued voice and I just nod. I follow him to a park nearby and we sit down on a bench. He’s silent for a long while and I wait patiently for him to gather courage. Finally he takes a deep breath and starts talking.

“As you already know I’m born and raised in Illinois. I came to Korea four years ago because I wanted to see more of the world. When I arrived I couldn’t speak a word of Korean and started studying seriously,” he takes a short break before he continues, “but then I met the wrong people and got the wrong friends. I started drinking and smoking. I didn’t really go to school and didn’t study. I had to redo my second and third year of high school because my grades where so bad. I even started doing drugs during my first and second year of high school. It was the worst mistake of my life. But at the time I didn’t care at all. It was when Ilhoon found me I realized that was I was doing, was stupid and dangerous. He helped me out of it, but still I feel weak in front of drugs. Like you just saw, I have a hard time saying no. I stopped when I met Ilhoon but then six month ago I made a mistake. I’m still smoking to compensate for drugs, but it’s just not the same. I wish I could stop, but it’s not that easy.”

His eyes are teary and I feel really sorry for him. I his hair and he looks at me. “At least you want to fight, and that’s the important part,” I say and smile encouraging, “I will help you through it and I’m sure your band members feel the same way. You’re not alone in this. Always remember that.”

Peniel looks at me for a long while until a tear falls down his cheek. Then I put my arms around him and start caressing his back. He leans his head against my shoulder and I can feel his tears soak my shirt. But I don’t mind and just let him cry. He needs to get it out and I will take it all. Because he’s here without any family he needs someone to lean on and find strength in. When his band members aren’t enough, I will be there for him.

After a few minutes Peniel pulls a little away from me and his tears have stopped. “Do you think I’m weak?” he asks and I shake my head. “If you were weak it would have looked much worse now. You managed to pull through and you have been clean for six month. Admitting that you have a problem and knowing you have to deal with it, that’s strength in itself. I’m sure you’re gonna be okay as long as you want it.”

Peniel smiles slightly and takes one of my hands. He kisses my palm and then presses his cheek against it.

“Thanks, Heejin,” he whispers and I smile gently. “Don’t mention it.”

After a little while sitting like that, Peniel lets go of my hand and gets up. “We should go back. They’re probably wondering where we are,” Peniel says and I nod. We take the bags with the groceries and start walking back. While walking I look at Peniel out of the corner of my eye. Even though he looks fine on the outside, he’s broken on the inside. He’s had it rough and he fights it every day. I didn’t even realize. It’s the same with Changsub. He hasn’t had it easy either but he’s still fighting. Every day he does his best to give his son the life he deserves. Before I met them I thought I had it rough. But it’s nothing compared to them. I realize that I’ve had a fantastic and easy life up till now. I want to give that to Peniel and Changsub. I want to help them. I want to give them a chance to change their life for the better. Because they deserve better. And I’ll make sure they get the life that they deserve. No matter what it takes.

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So here's another chapter for you. Please tell me what you think about Peniel's past and who you think will be the next to reveal his dark past. As always please subsribe, comment and upvote ^^