I watch my brother as he walks around the apartment getting ready. The guys are having a day out today and Ilhoon has to leave soon to meet up with them. I wanted to come, but I know it won’t do. Even though they were discrete about it I got the message, I’m not invited. So instead I called Sehun earlier and asked him to come hang out, and he’s on his way here now.

I turn my attention back to my brother and it looks like he’s ready to go. But he stops by the kitchen counter and looks at something. He picks up my car keys and turns towards me with big puppy eyes.

“My dear wonderful dazzling beautiful sister,” he says with a voice so sweet you could make honey out of it. “You know flatter doesn’t work on me,” I say and he pouts. “I tried,” he says while shrugging and puts the keys back down on the counter. I smile and walk over to the counter where I pick them up. I take my brother’s hand and put the keys in it.

“Asking would have been enough,” I say and close his fingers around the keys. A smile spreads across his face and he gives me a quick peck on the cheek before he’s out the door.

While waiting for Sehun to arrive, I wonder if he’s gotten an answer from Luhan yet. It’s been a while since I asked Sehun to talk to Luhan about having his parents’ company sign with BTOB. But there’s a possibility that he still hasn’t asked, since they’re both busy, and can rarely meet up. Even if they’ve managed to spend time together, there’s no guarantee that he remembered asking. He would most definitely have other things on his mind when he’s with his boyfriend. If he hasn’t got an answer for me today, I’ll just have to wait a little longer. The boys have waited for 2 ½ years, a few days is nothing.

Just then I hear someone type the password to the apartment, and shortly after the door’s being opened. Then footsteps in the hallway, coming towards the living room and my best friend appears around the corner.

“Hey you,” I say with a smile. “Hi,” he says and returns the smile. I get up and we hug before sitting down next to each other on the couch. I really want to ask about Luhan first, but I feel like we have to go through casual conversation about nothing and everything first. So we talk a bit about school, the twins and our family. As we touch the subject family, Sehun’s the first to mention my brother and he surprises me by going directly on to the band.

“I talked to Luhan about your brother’s band,” he says and I hold my breath, “he said he would talk to his parents about it and yesterday I got an answer.”

My eyes widen and I almost can’t sit still. Then Sehun’s expression turns apologetic and I get a bad feeling.

“They’re not thrilled about the idea of making a band,” he says and I lower my head in defeat. I guess I had gotten my hopes up too much, even though I knew there was the possibility of rejection. Just as I’ve given up on the idea of a contract, Sehun’s tone of voice changes and I raise my head again.

“They don’t know how to manage a band, since they haven’t tried it before. But after considering, they see potential in it, and they’re willing to talk and listen to BTOB. If they like it, they’ll sign.”

I stare at him for a while and he just looks back at me. Then I jump up from the couch and squeak. I dance around the living room not caring about what Sehun thinks of me. But instead of judging me, like other normal people might do, he starts dancing with me. He truly is my best friend. After having danced for a while we collapse on the couch laughing.

“This is great! I can’t wait to see their reaction when I tell them,” I say and already begin imagining their faces. “You should film so I can see it too,” Sehun says jokingly and I chuckle, “by the way I gave Luhan’s parents your number so they can contact you and set a date for meeting the band. You are their manager after all.”

This is just perfect! I know that the contract isn’t signed and nothing’s for sure yet, but I’m just so excited. Finally something’s happening and we’re moving in the right direction. Even if we don’t get there just yet, it’s a start and hopefully it’ll open up new opportunities for the band. I really hope this works out. I truly do.

After Sehun’s left, I’m only alone for about half an hour. Ilhoon’s not coming home until sometime tomorrow, so Minhyuk’s sleeping over tonight. He must have hurried over ‘cause I texted him as soon as Sehun left and it took him just half an hour to get here. Even though it’s stupid, I can’t help but smile because of that. I really am hopeless… and in love.

As soon as he steps in he kicks his shoes off, throws off his jacket and almost runs towards me. He takes me in his arms and squeezes me.

”What’s with the warm greeting?” I ask out of breath since he’s basically squeezing all the air out of my lungs.

“I just missed you,” he says and I think he’s trying to use aegyo. “But we saw each other yesterday.”

“And 24 hours have never felt longer.”

I roll my eyes but can’t help but find his behavior slightly cute. He lets go of me and gives me a kiss on my forehead.

“So what do you want to do?” I ask and he shrugs. “I was thinking about going outside. It’s been a while since I took you out on a date,” he says and winks at me. He’s so corny today, and I mean more than usual. I choose to ignore the wink but accept the date idea. Because he’s right, it’s been a while. He even left the other band members and doesn’t attend their ‘boys’ day out’, so he can hang out with me instead. It would only be right to bring him outside for today.

It’s getting cold outside so we make sure to wear warm clothes before leaving the apartment. While walking down the street we see a lot of couples being all lovey-dovey. I know Minhyuk want that too but public display of affection isn’t really my thing. I’m also used to not being able to touch him in public because the band is usually with us most of the time. It’s not very often we’re just the two of us outside like this. But now that we actually are alone, I want to enjoy it. I only hesitate for a second before reaching out to touch the back of his hand with my fingertips. He turns his head and looks at me before lowering his gaze to our hands. Then he smiles slightly and turns his palm upwards. An invitation. I put my hand in his and entangle my fingers with his. I look at his face and smile too. Then he puts our hands into the big pocket in his jacket to keep them warm. I enjoy this way more than I probably should and feel shy as we walk down the street. Even though Minhyuk and I have been together for a while, sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday and he can at times still make my heart flutter. While other times it feels like he has always been there and I can’t even remember what it was like before I met him.

I feel stupid for acting like I’m the female lead in a drama or something. Are all girls in love like this? I need to speak with Ji Hyun about it.

Minhyuk and I spend several hours outside doing all kinds of couple stuff. We go to the movies, drink hot chocolate and eat dinner. It’s become quite late when we return to the apartment. I feel kind of tired after having been out for most of the day. Not ‘ready to sleep’ tired, more like ‘if I sit down, I won’t get up’ tired. I turn around to ask Minhyuk what he wants to do, but something seems off. He looks to be deep in thought as his face is expressionless. I rarely see him like this so I get curious as to what is going on inside his head. I step closer to him and look into his eyes. They don’t focus so he doesn’t see me. I wave a hand in front of his face and his mind returns to the room.

“Sorry, I was thinking,” he says and I smile wryly. “I saw that. But what could you be thinking about that would make you disappear like that?” I ask and Minhyuk shrugs. “I don’t know, it’s just…” he mumbles and scratches his arm. I wait for him to finish his sentence, but he continues to hesitate. I wonder what could be on his mind that would make him hesitant. Normally Minhyuk’s very straightforward and doesn’t hold back. But this time he’s apparently nervous about telling me. He swallows and opens his mouth, but no words come out. I smile indulgently and put my arms around his neck.

“You don’t have to force yourself if it’s so hard. You can always tell me later when you feel it’s right.”

A relieved expression appears on his face and he thanks me for being understanding. Then he leans forward and gives me a kiss that’s a little deeper than I expected. But I’m not complaining. He breaks the kiss and leans back to look at my face. We both smile widely.

“What the hell is going on!?”

My insides turn and I feel like my heart just dropped on the floor when I hear the sound of that voice. A voice that I can’t mistake, ‘cause I’ve basically heard it since I was in my mother’s womb. I slowly turn around and look at my brother’s furious face. His eyes are cold and he has never looked at me like that before. I feel a clenching around my heart, that apparently didn’t drop on the floor, and immediately run to my brother. But as I reach him, he takes a step back and I stop in my tracks. A clear rejection. For the first time in my life, my brother rejects my approach.

“Hoon-ah…” I whisper and can clearly hear how pathetic and desperate I sound. Ilhoon just shakes his head and avoids eye contact.
“I can’t deal with this right now,” he says in a subdued voice and walks past me, “I need some air.”

He stops next to Minhyuk and looks at him with a hostile gaze.

“And you better be gone when I get back, ‘cause your face is the last thing I wanna see right now,” then he shoves Minhyuk aside and leaves the apartment. I know Minhyuk’s trying to get my attention, but I can’t look away from the door Ilhoon just left through. All I can do is wish for my brother to come back, hug me and tell me everything is okay. But he doesn’t return and at some point I faintly register that Minhyuk leaves. My worst fear has come true. My brother found out about Minhyuk and me in the worst possible way. And now I’m afraid I’ve lost him. In the worst case, I’ve lost them both.