Eunkwang tells me everything and I listen in silence. I even shed a few tears. When he’s done, he gets up and walks to the door. He puts his hand on the door handle and looks back at me.

“Thanks for listening,” he says and I smile kindly. “Thank you for telling me,” I say and he returns my smile. Then he opens the door and leaves the room. I collapse on my bed and take a deep breath. Now that I know the truth, I can understand why it affected him so much and left a deep wound. He was only nine years old when it happened, and because of the young age, it hurt him even more. It all happened because Two Moons Orphanage had financial problems and they had to move some of the children to another orphanage. Eunkwang was one of the children that were moved. The new orphanage placed him in a foster home, but they didn’t check the family thoroughly. Eunkwang ended up in an abusive home. The family consisted of the parents and their two sons, who were both older than Eunkwang. All four family members disliked Eunkwang and every day they would tell him that he was ugly and unwanted. They said that no one could ever love him.

The boys would beat Eunkwang up, over and over again. They broke some of his bones several times and bruises were a part of everyday life. The mother, who was a smoker, would always burn him with a cigarette. Most of the scars on his chest and back, are from a burning cigarette. The school he went to didn’t seem to care, so no one helped him, which only made him believe that he really was unwanted and insignificant. His foster home brainwashed him into thinking he was some kind of monster. They did this every day for the two years he lived with them. For a nine year old to experience this, he didn’t have a chance to fight back. He had no defense and nothing to protect him. The family broke him. How anyone can do something like that to an innocent and defenseless child, I will never understand. They are the real monsters.

Luckily someone from Two Moons Orphanage found out what was going on and they got him out. He got to stay at Two Moons again, but no matter what the caretakers did, Eunkwang was broken and couldn’t be fixed. He was never the same again after that and it seemed like he had lost a part of himself. He didn’t really care about anything anymore. Except for when someone tried to take his shirt off. Then he panicked and started screaming. The fear off someone seeing his scars and the fear of someone wanting to give him new wounds, it has lasted till this day. Not even his brother could see him without his shirt and he still can’t.

Before I discovered Eunkwang wounds, I thought he looked normal and happy. But on the inside he’s broken. Just like Peniel was. You never know what lies beneath the surface. But Eunkwang finally decided to tell me what he has been struggling with all these years. So now I can begin to help him. He needs someone to tell him that he’s perfect just the way he is. I’m gonna be that someone. I’ll tell him over and over again until he starts believing me. No matter how long it takes.

I get up and take another deep breath. But right now I have something else I need to do. I walk out of the room and enter the living room. My brother is sitting in a chair and I walk over to him.

When he sees me, he frowns.

“Where’ve you been?” he asks and I don’t look at him. Instead I find all the make-up products I’m going to use.

“I’ve been talking to Eunkwang in my room,” I say and even though I’m not looking at my brother, I know that he just raised an eyebrow. “What did you talk about?” he asks and I shrug. “Just a little bit of this and that,” I say as I begin putting make-up on him. “Like what?”

I don’t want to tell Ilhoon about Eunkwang. If someone should tell anyone about his past, it should be himself. Anything else wouldn’t be fair.

“I don’t feel like talking about it,” I say, and it’s really rare that I don’t tell my brother something. He also seems a little taken aback, but apparently he gets the message and changes the subject.

“I thought about something a while ago that I wanted to ask you,” he says and I nod to show that he can just ask, “you used to work at a make-up studio right? But it seems like you haven’t gone there for some time now.”

It’s true that I worked at a make-up studio, but after Ilhoon came back into my life, everything changed. My world was turned upside down and I had to adjust. As new things came into my life, some things had to leave to make room.

“After I opened the café and started to work as the band’s ‘manager’, there simply wasn’t time anymore,” I say and Ilhoon frowns. “So you quit?” he asks and I nod, “but being a make-up artist is your dream, isn’t it?”

I bite my lower lip and don’t meet his gaze.

“Being by my brother’s side is my dream,” I say and turn my back on him to find the eyeliner I’m using next. Then suddenly I feel a pair of arms wrap around me from behind. I don’t move and just wait for him to explain.

“Thanks, Heejin,” Ilhoon whispers and tightens his grip. “For what?” I ask and turn my head in an attempt to see his face. “For always being there. For always sacrificing things for my sake. For always helping me when I need you most,” he says and rests his chin on my shoulder, “thank you for being my sister.”

I smile and place my hands on top of his. “Thank you for being my brother,” I say and give his hands a gentle squeeze. Then he lets go and sits down on the chair again. I turn around and see him with a smirk on his lips.

“Enough talk, now make me pretty,” he says and I snort. “As you wish.”

  The concert was a big success and the guys did great. They’ve gotten more fans lately and it’s getting easier for me to get them gigs in different bars and even at some festivals. They’re gaining popularity and recognition. But they still haven’t been scouted, which is what we’re all hoping for. It’s our dream to get their music out into the world, and it will happen. I’ll make sure it does.

After getting the instruments back in the basement and dropping everyone off at their homes, Ilhoon and I finally reach home. For some reason I feel really tired. Not in my body, but in my mind. It’s not even very late, but I go to bed anyway. Then hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow.

I sit in my usual corner and watch the boys practice. I smile to myself as I listen to a song I’ve already heard a hundred times. But I never get tired of it. Because every time I hear it, I notice that they’ve gotten better. Every day the boys get a little bit better and you can hear it. They’re steadily improving, and if this continues, someone will definitely notice their talent and offer them to debut. I’m sure it will happen at some point. It has to. It’s my brother’s dream.

When the song is over, the boys put their instruments down and we all walk upstairs. Everyone is about to leave when Ilhoon suddenly calls out my name loudly. We all turn around and look at him. He has a serious and slightly tense expression. I wonder what could have caused this expression, because I rarely see it.

“I have something to ask you,” he says and I frown. “Right now? Can’t it wait till we get home?” I ask but he shakes his head. “I’m not the only one who needs to hear your answer,” he says and suddenly turns to look at Minhyuk, “I know you two are dating and have done so for a while now.”

I gasp and can’t hide my surprise. I look over at Minhyuk and he looks just as chocked. I thought we had been careful and that Ilhoon hadn’t noticed anything. When did he find out? How? I wonder what gave us away. Did someone tell him? Or did he realize the day I had to hide Minhyuk in the bathroom? How long has he known about us? If he has known for a while, why hasn’t he said anything till now? And why now? My head is filled with questions, but Ilhoon said he had something to ask me, so I should probably answer his question before I start asking my own. So I keep quiet and wait for him to continue.

“I don’t care how or when it happened or what you have done together,” Ilhoon says as he runs a hand through his hair, “I just have one question that I want answered.”

He turns to look at me again and I swallow while I fear the worst. “I said that I don’t want any of my members to date my sister, and I still feel that way. So if I said you could only have one of us, who would you choose?” he asks and my heart tightens, “your brother or your boyfriend?”

I look at Ilhoon with a painful expression and then turn my attention to Minhyuk. He looks desperate and I know what he wants me to do. But I’m not sure if I can do it. Can I really turn my back on my brother whom I’ve loved unconditionally for so many years? Can I really choose my boyfriend over the person who saved my life and is a part of me? I look at Ilhoon again and his expression has changed. He suddenly looks very vulnerable, something I haven’t seen for years. I can’t let my brother have that look on his face because of me. I can’t let my brother hurt because of me. I just can’t.

I’m about to take a step towards him when someone suddenly pulls me in the opposite direction. I look at my wrist which is being held tightly by a hand I know all too well. I look up and see that it’s Minhyuk who’s pulling me away like I expected. Normally I would probably fight against him and run to my brother’s side. But for some reason I’m actually glad that he grabbed me and is taking me away. Had I chosen my brother this time, I would probably never be able to fix the damage in Minhyuk’s and my relationship. It would be the end of us. Which is exactly what Ilhoon wanted. He expected me to pick him and break Minhyuk and me apart. I’m sure I can fix this with Ilhoon, because we’re family, but with Minhyuk it would have been over. And I’m not sure I could forgive myself for that.

Minhyuk keeps pulling me with him and I just follow without saying anything or fighting against him. After a while he then stops and turns towards me. His eyes are cold and he looks a little scary.

“You were about to choose your brother over me,” he says with a trembling voice. I don’t know if it’s because of anger or hurt, I just know that I made him upset.

“His face made me waver. I can’t stand the thought of him being sad because of me,” I say and lower my gaze, “I promised him that I would stay by his side forever. All I could think about in that instant, was to assure him that I won’t break that promise.”

Minhyuk grabs my chin and raises my head. He looks me in the eye and it’s impossible for me to look away.

“Then what about me?” he asks and I’m surprised to hear his voice sounding so weak. So fragile. The cold expression in his eyes also softens and he looks very insecure and vulnerable. I’ve never seen him like this and it makes my chest hurt. My brother had a similar expression when I hesitated earlier. Is it really impossible for me to make all three of us happy? Can’t I choose one without hurting the other? Or can’t I just choose them both? Is that being too greedy? Am I really asking for too much? Once again I have so many questions, but no answers. I’ll admit it was a little childish of Ilhoon to force me to choose like that. I guess I never wanted that day to come where I had to choose one over the other. I just ignored the whole possibility and kept telling myself that it would sort itself out somehow. How stupid of me. Problems don’t just go away by themselves, and unfortunately I at handling them. God dammit I can’t even face the problem. I’m acting like a spoiled child that closes her eyes and hopes everything will go away. As if the problem isn’t even there. But it is there, and someone has to deal with it. Scratch that, I have to deal with it. Then I can take the consequences of my choice like a grown-up. Something I should have done a long time ago.

I’m about to say something when a voice suddenly interrupts us. Minhyuk and I both turn towards the voice and I don’t recognize the person. It’s a man and everything about him sends a bad signal. He’s big, muscular and bald. Both his arms are covered in tattoos and they continue up his neck and even onto his shaved head. It’s not only his appearance that signals a red flag, it’s also the air around him. I can’t quite describe it, I just know that he scares me.

Apparently Minhyuk knows the man, because he steps in front of me and tries to hide me from him. His fists are clenched and every muscle in his body is tense. Like he’s ready to either run or fight.

“Long time, no see, Minhyuk,” the man says and his tone gives me goose bumps. Something about him just seems intimidating and my instincts tell me to run away as fast as I can. But I’m not going anywhere without Minhyuk. I won’t run until he grabs my hand and tells me to.

“I know. Has it been about seven years?” Minhyuk says and his voice trembles slightly, even though he does his best to keep it calm. “Time sure does fly,” the man says and I can hear him take a few steps closer, “you’ve grown a lot. I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“Well you haven’t changed at all,” Minhyuk says and the man laughs. It sends a shiver down my spine and makes my guts twist. There’s something seriously wrong about this guy. Something scary.

“Are you trying to flatter me?” he asks and Minhyuk shrugs. “Did it work?”

“No even the slightest,” the man says and I hold my breath in fear of what’s going to happen next, “me and the guys actually talked about you not very long ago. No one has seen you for years and we actually thought you were dead.”

My eyes widen and my heart sinks. Dead? Why would Minhyuk be dead? And who is that guy anyway and how does he know Minhyuk? I grab the back of Minhyuk’s t-shirt and clench it in my fists. I close my eyes and wish that Minhyuk and I were any place but here.

“Sorry to disappoint you. But I’m still alive and kicking as you can see,” Minhyuk says and the man scoffs. “Not for long.”

My eyes widen and I look past Minhyuk. The man is pointing a gun at Minhyuk and he has a sinister smile on his lips.

“Try and survive this,” he says and before I get a chance to react, I’m harshly pushed aside. Everything after that happens in slow motion. I hear a gunshot and I can see the bullet leave the muzzle as it makes its way straight towards Minhyuk’s heart. Then I hit the ground and lie on my right side. The man then puts the gun away and starts running. But I couldn’t care less about him right now. There’s something far more important that demands my full attention. With difficulty I get up and ignore the pain in my shoulder as I stagger over to Minhyuk. When I see him lying there, in a small puddle of his own blood, everything else disappears. I can’t hear anything, not even my own scream, and the only thing in my vision is Minhyuk’s pale face with his empty eyes staring into space.

He’s dead…

Minhyuk’s dead.