From as long as I could remember I had been interested in music. Growing up my parents played me all kinds of music which lead to me to using music as an outlet, or self-expression. My parents were huge music lovers as my dad Choi Taejun who was better known as Toon, who used to be a part of a hiphop group back in South Korea in the late 80s, early 90s. My mom, Jennifer Granger, who had travled to South Korea for college doing study abroad attended a concert where my dad performed and I guess you can say it was love at first sight. My mom told me that my dad introduced himself in the worst attempt in English and she found him pretty endearing. As they say, the rest was history. He courted my mom for the duration she was in Korea and he surprised her by coming to the States to meet her parents. Once mom graduated she moved to South Korea to get married to my dad and they had me. We stayed there until I almost turned 8. Coming up on the age of 8 years old is when I fell in love. Fell in love with the chubby cheeked Park Yoochun of Dong Bang Shin Ki in his cute uniform for Hug. My parents will back me up when I told them that I’d be marrying Yoochun when I got older.  That was the last time I saw Park Yoochun as we moved back to the States so my dad (who became a pretty popular producer among Western artists) could work with clients without flying back and forth every three weeks.

"Babe!"

"Yes?"

"Come here."

"I swear you can't go without seeing me for less than thirty minutes!" Toon chuckled and the guys, artists traveling from South Korea, laughed as they could hear the exasperation coming from the reply.

She came down in leggings and one of his tshirts with her hair naturally curly hair in a messy ball. She looked up from her phone and stopped a bit startled. "Hello." She said in Korean bowing as her husband came and wrapped his arm around her.

"I didn't know you would have guests! Food could have been ready." She said frowning up at her husband.

"It slipped my mind."

"I'm going to slip my mind when I don't cook for you."

"Jagiya, I'm sorry." He said cutely and she rolled her eyes and pushed him off of her.

"Choi Taejun PA~BO. I'm Jennifer, nice to meet you. I wish my foregetful of a husband would have told me you were coming, there would have been food prepared, have you eaten?"

"No ma'am."

"'No ma'am'. Bless their hearts, you can call me noona or Jen-ssi. I'm going to go make some food." Jennifer said hip checking her husband walking away but not before he grabbed at her which ended with a twisted wrist pushed against his chest.

"Taejun-ah, yeobo, grow up and stop acting like this in front of these children." She said and gave him a loving kiss on the lips before she walked away.

"I love you."

"You better." She said laughing.

All the while the guests were amazed by a full blooded Korean to married a black woman. She didn't look old enough to have a daughter and she was pretty shapely, along with a beautiful smile.

“Get Arianna to bring it in here!”

“She’s practicing with her group!” Jennifer said before going to the kitchen.

“Your daughter is in a group?”

“That girl is barely ten years old and is in a dance crew! I was never that busy when I was younger.”

"Is she any good? “

“Ye-“

"Here you go guys." Jennifer said serving rice, fried egg, and chicken.

"Wow! Thank you noona!" The guys said.

"Thank you donsaeng!"

"You're welcome, oppa!" She replied being extra cute and Toon got a bit red and laughed.

"Do you guys need anything else?"

"No thank you, noona!"

"Welcome." She said going over to Toon and kissing his forehead before leaving.

"You're wife's Korean is very good."

"Yeah, she speaks satoori when we're with friends." The guys laughed and truly admired Toon and his wife's realtionship.

"Are you ever coming back to Korea?"

"I am, but when I don't know. I need to be closer to my clients plus we haven't been since my daughter was 7."

"Oh wow, so Korean is her first language?"

"Yeah her first language."

"If she's a good dancer why hasn't she been scouted?"

"To be an idol?"

"Yeah!"

"I don't know about that fellas. I'm not really sure how back home is about multiracial children."

"There's no problem!"

"I don't know, she has been used to the different way of life of Americans so like rude fans would not sit well. She's too bold and frank for South Korea even as young as she is."

"You never know."

My dad finally decided to move us back to South Korea because he missed home and felt like he could establish a production company in South Korea. The airplane ride was long but as soon as we got off and retrieved our bags we were met with the sight of my dad’s parents who I hadn’t seen in almost two years along with my dad’s brothers and sisters. They fawned over all of us but me the most since I had apparently grown so much in the two years I had been away. I was pretty slow to catch on to all the rapid Korean being spoken to me but did my best to respond. I realized that we were probably causing a scene so I glanced around. Many people weren’t paying our “reunion” any attention but others had their cameras out and was taking pictures of us. I turned back around when my grandparents hugged me so tight that I began to cry because I missed them so much. Growing up I saw my grandparents just about every day so to be able to touch them again was a bit emotional for me. We finally left out the airport and packed into cars to head to our new home which was populated with people of the upper-class. It took me a while to admit that our new house (if you want to even call it that) was spacious and beautiful. I had become used to an American style house that it took me a while to realize just about everyone in the city lived in apartment complexes.

After getting settled in our new home my parents wanted to go out and explore the city before I was enrolled into school and they went back to working. As soon as we were in the heart of the city all of these cameras came out of nowhere and were filming us. I squeaked at all the flashes and my parents put their arms around me trying to shield me from all of the harsh flashes. I pulled the brim of my hat I was wearing low so the cameras would not catch my face and tried to ignore them. I did my best trying to remember my way around downtown as we bought all kinds things in the booths. My parents bought me a bunch of puppy headbands as I was extremely fond of them and have to wear them when I got to sleep. We continued walking around when I caught snippets of conversations talking about my dad and how they were big fans. I took notice of our surroundings and saw how many people were still following us.

"Why are they not coming up to you?"

"They don't come unless you give them permission." I laughed and thought about how that would go over back home.

After our sightseeing adventure I enrolled in the high school my first cousin on my dad’s side, Nat. Saying I was nervous was an understatement but I had nothing to worry about as I was welcomed and made good friends with the people in my class. Once it was known who I was I became pretty popular since my dad still held presence in South Korea but I didn't let that get to me as I was my same ole’ goofy self that people at school appreciated. The school trips our school had were amazing as I paid extra attention when we went because I hadn't been since I was almost 8. I ate a lot of good food and became a bit more toned from all the walking I did. I did norebang for the first time and had the most fun and was recorded without me even knowing by my classmates. I went to sticker booths and just did everything a girl my age was supposed to do. My cousin, along with my friends, and I went out on a Friday and walked around letting me get familiar with the area still. I was dressed normally like I would if I was in the states (which was not in the least bit girly) and walked around. We stopped at a shop when this guy came up to me and handed me a card as the girls walked away.

"Here's my card, you should come by the company." He said and walked away.

I looked at it and threw it away frowning not knowing I would be receiving many more of those cards.

I found a dance studio near our new house that I went to almost every day after school like I would if I was still living in the States. Surprisingly my parents didn’t mind me going alone as they knew I’d be safe as our neighborhood was known for no crime or mishaps with children. I got lost in the music as I hadn’t danced in about a month but lost my rhythm as the phone (a gift from my parents since we moved back to Korea) began to rang. I turned the music down and plopped against the glass mirro and answered before the person hung up.

“Yobeseyo?”

“Arianna!!! Or Dain know that youre in South Korea!!!”

“Lena!!! You called!!” Lena was apart of the dance crew I was in and was four years older than me and my best friend.

“Of course I called! It super late here but I hadn'tt talked to you in so long, kid! How is it being back home?”

“It’s weird? I’m so used to my routine baack in the States-“

“Oh~ the ‘States’ not home? You’re doing fine kid! SO have you seen the guy you’ve been pining over your whole life?”

“Yah!”

“Don’t yah me! What was his name? Yoowon?”

“PARK YOOCHUN and you watch what you say!!” I yelled back packing up my stuff as Lena retorted over the phone.

“You know what I mean. So have you seen him?”

“No Lena! I’m ten years old in case you forgot-“

“I never do because you’re so freaking short.”

“Yeah well you wont ever get a boyfriend because guys don’t like tall girls!”

“Weak. So have you?”

“No and I don’t want to know.”

“Because you’re not a woman or whatever that means.”

“If you know then why do you harass me?”

“It’s my way of saying I miss you, kid. The crew and I miss your ugly mug.” We bantered back and forth before I yelled for her to get some sleep and walked out the dance room not realizing at the guys waiting around looking at me.

I made my way out the dance studio building and I was approached by a man who gave me a card.

"Little girl you should call this number."

"Why?"

"To become famous, you'd do well in our company."

"Look sir, you're the second man to approach me saying that and to be honest I’m a mixed black and Korean girl. I don’t look these girls who are going to be famous, do I"

"Ye-"

"Sir, you're wasting your time. Hopefully you'll find a full blood Korean girl who fits this country's standard, have a nice day." I said bowing 90 degrees and walking away leaving a stumped man and a group of speechless guys.

Although I was treated fairly in school didn’t mean I couldn’t see the looks of people on the street sneering at me and calling me names under their breath.

About a couple of weeks later I went back to the dance center with my friends from school. We had decided to become a dance group and began dancing at the studio I always went to. We were busy practicing a dance that we had come up with the week before when there was a knock on the door.

"Hello, did we interrupt you?" One of the girls asked.

"No actually the opposite! We saw you girls as we were passing and decided to stay- you were doing very well.” We bowed and I peeked around Nat to about ten boys who looked a bit older than us.

I hid and looked down trying to make myself as inconspicuous as possible.

"Who is your leader?" We laughed and they shifted as they came into the studio.

"No one, we're all friends and family just dancing together."

"You are all related?"

"No, me and my cousin Dain." My cousin said reaching back and grabbing my wrist pulling my from behind her.

I didn't look up but bowed and glanced at her.

"We've seen you here before."

"What?" I said and then made a face.

"You've seen me?" I asked in Korean looking at the guy in the front and glancing at the others.

"Yeah, you're very pretty."

"Omo!" The girls said and I glared at them which made them laugh.

"Uh, thanks?"

"Not used to hearing that?" I laughed and tilted my head and crossed my arms.

"What's it to you ahjusshi?" He held up his arms and smiled. I studied him before my cousin got in front me as the other girls brought me towards them.

"Was that all?"

"Yeah, nice meeting you, hopefully we can become friends." Another guy said before they left.

I had never spoken to guys outside of school for these random guys to pinpoint me out made me extremely nervous and the girls picked up on my nervousness. The girls assured me that I wouldn't be bullied and we got up to dance some more. We didn't see the guys come back to the door and watch us, more specifically me.

From outside the dance room: "That's the one who turned down that JYP scout?"

"Apparently Cube and maybe YG?" The guys watched me as I had a smile on my face as I danced and laughed at the girls.

They backed up as a black woman passed looking very dressed up in high heels, a short skirt, and a nice shirt. She looked at the number on the door and knocked before walking in.

"Omma!!!" The guys watched Dain yell loudly and hug her after tripping over her feet and slumping on her mom.

He mom laughed as she caught her and wiped her face as she looked up at her like a cute little puppy with wide eyes and a smile.

"Omo omo omo!" One said clutching his chest.

She stood up as the others embraced her. She hit Dain's with a towel which had her yelping running away. They exchanged words and the mom went over to the mirror and started dancing and the girls burst out laughing.

A couple of weeks after meeting the local boys, I was with my mom when I was approached by a man and I just stopped him. I held out my hand and threw it away. I began to walk but the man stopped me.

"Little girl, I'm well aware of your concern about being in this country but you've turned down every rep from big companies and we hear you loud and clear! But I promise if you audition for our company and become a trainee we will take care of you." My mom gave me a look and I pouted.

"But mom-"

"Take the card, Dain." I took another one and the man put his personal information on there.

"You won't regret this decision."

"Yeah, I hope so, thank you." I said and he walked away and my mom held my hand.

We ate and did a bit of shopping and wet back home. I snuck out and went to go see my grandparents and talk to them about auditioning. I caught the train and sat looking at the card for YGE. I sighed, trying to clear out all my thoughts on ‘what ifs’ and turned my head, glancing around and met eyes with a guy. He looked pretty urban for a Korean as he had a nice tan color, in black jeans, Jordan's, and a T-shirt. I glanced again and he smiled a bit at me. I looked down and played with the card in my hands and frowned as I didn’t know erts were so shameless in South Korea. I was so focused that I almost missed my stop.

"Aish!!" I said passing the guy and getting off.

I looked around, reading a couple of signs before I saw where I needed to go. I wrapped my arms around myself and began to walk. I was going a good thirty minutes when I felt someone following me. I took out my key chain that had my Swiss Army knife and flicked it but put it up when I saw my Grandma walking to her building with groceries.

"Grandma!!!" I said smiling and she turned and made a noise.

"Honey!!!" I ran to her and hugged her tight.

"Hello baby, how are you?"

"Grandma, can I talk to you about something." I asked taking her bags.

She smiled and cradled my face.

"Of course baby, Grandpa will be surprised." I smiled and went into the building with her not seeing her wink at the guy who saw me on the train who was on his way to talk to my Grandmother as well.

AN: Well look at this! Chapter one is done with multiple revisions! It is long but this is how all chapters will be, LONG. Enjoy~