Enjoy!

The next time I saw Ilhoon, I was met with, if not more than the usual, embarrassment. I became a bit angry as Yoochun had made accusations about him when he was only being nice to me, trying to be my friend. Not only did I see Ilhoon again but I met his whole group while me and the girls were out. I felt a bit underdressed as the others had on skirts, heels, makeup on while I just threw on an oversized pullover, slipped into some skinny jeans that were sticking out of one of my suitcases with studded combats boots with a beanie over my head as my hair had not been straightened.

"We finally get to meet the famous Dain-ssi that Ilhoon keeps talking about.” Eunkwang said loudly as I stood up along with Krystal and Suzy at a restaurant.

“You talk about me? Why?" I asked with wide and confused eyes.

"I want my members to know about my girlfriend." Suzy’s scoff could have been heard in Australia as well as the hit I gave her.

"I'm not your girlfriend."

"Not yet you aren't." I could only laugh at his determination but little did he know my heart belonged to the very person who accused me like some jealous lover.

And then it hit me: Park Yoochun was jealous. He very well might have wanted to take me out and hang but after hearing how much Ilhoon liked me, he reacted like child pointing his finger. This new revelation did not make my anger lessen. I don’t like people to lie on me and project their tiness on me and I was not above calling even Yoochun on his . I was yanked out of my mind when Changsub’s loud voice cracked through my thoughts.

"I think he's her sasaeng! Every time he comes back home from talking to you he has a huge smile on his face and lists all the cute things you did.”

“You’d think they are dating right under our noses.” Minhyuk said looking me over.

“No, I don’t think you’re right. Dain-ssi wouldn’t give our Ilhoonie the time of the day. She needs a man.”

“At least somebody recognizes that.”

”Shut up Krystal!” Holding up her hands in surrender she laughed at me and looked away.

 “Every time she's out with us, we bump into him."

"It's only been twice that I have met Ilhoon-ssi, relax."

"So you're defending him now?" Hyunsik said and I shook my hand.

“NO! THAT IS JUST A FACT! I DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM!” I said quickly mushing my words together and stomping my feet which was apparently the trick for all the guys and girl say I looked really cute.

"I'm a big fan of yours though."

"Really?" I shook my head as I sat back down, all of us making room for the other guys.

"We like POWER, too!"

"Thank you." I said bowing and we all made small talk.

By the end of the night Ilhoon gave me his number but I wasn’t so willing to give him my number.

"Why can't I have yours?"

"You might text me when I'm busy and the girls will find out."

"I don't believe that." I could only give him a shrug because he might be able to tell what a bad liar I am.

"Please?" I looked up into the pitiful puppy eyes he was giving me and let out a sigh, handing over my phone.

“Here.” He couldn't keep in his smile and I pouted.

"Don't be so excited."

"Why not? I've always wanted to meet you so we could be close."

"Really?"

"Yeah!" He said handing me my phone.

I took it and put it in my pocket.

"Dain! Come on let's go!" I turned around at the girls getting towards the door and I turned to Ilhoon who looked at me.

"Well I have to go."

"I don't want you to leave."

"Why?"

"I like talking to you."

"Well...you have my number now…so, you can use it." He blushed and I bowed to him and took a step back.

"Maybe when we meet next time we could talk informally." I looked back as the girls called me again and turned.

"Maybe." I said bowing and running to meet the girls.

"Nice meeting you!"

"You, too! Hopefully we'll see each other again soon." I looked back at Ilhoon coming to join s.

"Um, maybe."

"Dain Celeste! Let's go! The unnies are not yelling at us for you being late!"

"Oh shut up! I'm coming!" I said running and jumping on Krystal's back.

Suzy busted out laughing and began to hit my as Krystal galloped out the place.

Since our spontaneous meal together, I started hanging out with BTOB, more specifically Ilhoon more and more. As often as I saw Ilhoon I’d consider us best friends who hung out every day with each other.  Getting closer to the group, I was affectionately called sister in law as Ilhoon would somehow mention me in every conversation. I stopped being bothered by it as I found it funny because I could never see myself being in any type of romantic relationship with Ilhoon. Although my members were okay with me meeting BTOB, Renni would come with me often when we met. The guys of BTOB were very happy to meet her if their red, flushed faces were anything to go by when she smiled and bowed to them upon gretting. With Renni around the guys could see how close I was with her even with a two year difference instead of hearing about it from me. The guys were convinced I caused the most trouble amongst the other donsaengs in the group. Renni took care of me and made the guys have an argument that Sunny rally wasn’t the cutest member of the group as I had the cute maknae image all along. Renni even went as far to show them pictures of me at the dorm lounging around with my puppy ears on which was embarrassing. "Chansub hyung wears ears to sleep, too!" "That's only to sleep, she wears them when she's at the dorm." "Unnie-ah!!!! Please stop!" I said latching onto the nearest person who just happened to be Ilhoon.

It didn’t take long after that for Ilhoon to invite me out with him just by ourselves instead of being chaperoned by s, my members, and friends. I never saw the problem with us just hanging out by ourselves by Ilhoon said he understood and didn’t feel like explaining it to me so I let it go. Going to meet him, I dressed like a normally would: no colorful clothes, pretty baggy jeans as it was kind of my signature style, and barely any makeup. I couldn’t be bothered with makeup as it was only Ilhoon, it’s not that I had confidence in my bare face but it who was I trying to impress? The guy I was madly in love with was acting like a child and we were never in the same place so I was safe. Finally finished getting dressed I met Ilhoon at an art museum! I never saw him when I went in as I was looking around in amazement totally enraptured around me. There was one picture of molten lava curving, meandering, sliding down the side of a rocky path overlooking the ocean. The waves breaking against the rock made the water look foamy along with the thick curling fog giving it a an eerie gentleness as purples and blues highlighted the background.

"Beautiful isn't it?" I nodded and turned to my side where Ilhoon was looking at me.

"Yeah the picture is beautiful."

"I wasn't talking about the picture." I looked down and back at the picture.

"Is this where you like to come?"

"Yes, I even have some of my art in here."

"Really?" He nodded and I followed him and it was of a house on an island with pretty blue waved crashing against the sand. The sun was setting so the ocean was an array of blue, green, and light purple. If I closed my eyes I could feel the waves pushing me back and forth as the painting captured it.

"Oh my gawd this is really beautiful, oppa." I said without thinking.

"You like it?" I smiled at him and turned back to the painting.

"I love it." I said trying to get every detail of the painting memorized.

We went to other paintings and I was so into observing I didn't notice Ilhoon patting for his phone.

"Dain-ah."

"Mm?"

"There's dolphins."

"Omo! Omo! Dolphins!!!" I said running to the picture and looking up at it.

"Whoa! Wow! It's so pretty!" I said.

He had his phone out and was taking pictures of him and I got one doing a heart and he smiled for real. After looking at every picture and sharing our opinions on the pieces in the museum we got some amazing tasting deokbokki before taking a walk through a park nearby where the blossom trees were in full bloom.

"Have fun?"

"Of course! I always have fun with you!" I said looking at the trees.

"Oh, that's good." My phone went off playing Rising Sun and I laughed as Jaejoong had compared his overall looks to the title as his looks rose to the highest place where everyone could see how good-looking he was.

"Oppa!"

"U-um, hello."

"Who is this?"

"Park Yoochun."

"I'm hanging up."

"Don't!"

"I told you to nev-"

"I'm sorry! I was jealous." I stopped walking and looked at my phone shocked because who knew Yoochun was the type to admit his feelings to freely, it as actually pretty cool but I still held anger inside me.

"J-jealous? About what?"

"I like you, Dain-ah. I like you just as you like me."

"Don't play games with me."

"I promise I'm not but you're so young and beautiful and I just-you should have fun, live your life! But just know I'll wait for you."

"How can you say something like that!!! Have fun and I'll wait for you?? Why would you say stupid things like that!!!" I said close to tears.

"I'm sorry! I just-you should experience life before you decided if you want me. To be tied DOWN to me." He stressed as if I cared.

"I'll always want you. And you know this so why are you saying this? Why are you saying you want me but you want me to go and live. Live without you there. Why are you placing such a burden on my shoulder, Yoochun?" I askd quietly, closing my eyes so tears would not escape and he sighed.

"I'm sorry I called. I won't call again. I just thought that it would help you see how being with me would not let you be your age. I’d hate to take your childhood away from you. You don’t know how much you mean to me so forgive me for how I show how I care." I hung up, not able to listen to him tell me that he would want to be with me if I had grown up.

As if I would miss out on things being with him, missing out on some important milestones. I WAS A MEMBER OF PRETTY FUKING POPULAR GIRL GROUP! I WAS SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN ME AND WANT ME TO SUCCEED. WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY BE MISSING OUT ON IF I WERE TO BE WITH HIM?!!?!?! I turned away and tried to wipe my face without alerting Ilhoon but I failed as arms wrapped around my body and turned me around.  

"Who's the bastard so I can beat him up?" I laughed and shook my head.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

"What do you do when a guy you like, who likes you back, tell you to have fun and that when I'm ready he'll be waiting on you?"

"Well, if it is a guy I’d like to explain to him how, while I am happy that I am flattered, I date girls. That’s one and two, I'd listen to that person. They wouldn't be telling you that if they didn't mean it...did this guy tell you that?" I nodded and looked up at him pitifully.

"He's not your age is he?" I shook my head, looking down at our feet.

"If he's that much older respect his words, he wants what's best for you."

"I want him." He laughed at my blunt honesty and told me so which I only answered with a sigh.

"We can't always have what we want." I looked up at him before quietly asking him, "What do you want?"

"You." He said and I kept looking at him although I felt my face get hot as I made myself think about me and Ilhoon together.

We were around the same age, in the business, and got along extremely well.

"I want you, I want to kiss you, I want us to be the best friends."

"2/3 is not bad."

"What's the second one?"

"Kiss me."

"This would be your first kiss, Dain-ah."

"I trust you." I said and he looked at me for a while trying to get a feel on my emotions but I could not stand his hesitation so I I held onto his shoulders and pushed up on my toes to press my lips against his.

I almost pulled back because I'd never experienced anything like that before, someone- a guy’s lips on mine, but it was nice. I pulled away and felt my cheeks hot, glancing at Ilhoon who was blushing as well. I bit my lip then hugged him which he hugged me back.

"Come on." He said getting back on the path.

He walked me back to my dorm in silence and as he was turning away  I grabbed his wrist. I pulled him to me but then looked down trying to formulate what I wanted to say in my head but he lifted my chin and kissed me again. He pulled away blushing and I smiled a little.

"I'll text you."

"Okay." I said and waved the security guard who was trying to hide his smile.

I made a “sssssshhh” sign and he nodded, zipping his lips. . I went up to the dorm and ran to the bathroom without speaking to look at myself. I touched my lips lightly and puckered them and could tell they were darker. I touched my chin and my lips and just looked at my face.  

"Unnie!!!!" I heard someone yell but I was too caught up on how different I looked, how different I felt.

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's been kissed!" I giggled and bounced around the bathroom.

"OMG she has!"

"No I didn't! I was just confessed!" I said playing it off with the truth because Yoochun did confess to me.

Park Yoochun’s manly confession could even trump my first kiss, he was the exception for everything.  

"I feel like a woman! Do I look like one?" I asked turning around to the girls with their phones out.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"Documenting history! Our precious baby has been confessed to!"

"Did you confess back?"

"I confessed first a while ago." The girls then yelled at how cool I was making the first move, jumping up and down squealing like pigs at my not not even semi-relationship.

Ever since my kiss with Ilhoon it felt like we crossed over an invisible like and we became more comfortable with each other. We never held hands or hugged but we kissed when we saw each other and before we parted. We never approached coupe territory just overly affectionate friends. I knew that Ilhoon understood that I could not give fake feelings of a lover onto him knowing that my heart belonged to someone else. And that's what makes him different. Although he is hurting himself, Ilhoon is taking what I'm offering to give him even though it is not fair to him or me for using him.

Hi Hi^^ I've been sitting on this chapter for so long trying to make it decent and I'm still not happy with it. I've decided to stop asking for comments and just post.

P.S. I did this at 2-3 am so there could be a lot of mistakes, sorry.