February 2013

It was around this time when I went for this particular TV show recording with a bunch of other artistes in the industry. Backstage, before the recording, I remembered sitting in my armchair, being extremely tired. And there you were, doing my makeup.

And there I was, about to fall into a much-needed nap.

Yah, oppa. Don’t fall asleep! Your voice echoed in my head. I barely opened my eyes.

Oppa is tired ah…

If you fall asleep now, I’ll put red lipstick on you!

I remembered laughing at you. Sometimes your threats can be so funny.

Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I said, smiling.

Actually, I was on the verge of laughing when I finally opened my eyes and saw your face. You had your nose scrunched up and your mouth all funny, waving a lipstick at me like it was some kind of weapon.

Oppa! YAH! Stop laughing!

I remembered standing up laughing. I ruffled your hair before leaving the room to go on set.

Don’t miss me too much, I joked and waved, without a glance backwards.

-

Every time I go on set, be it for an interview or variety program, I take off the “G-Dragon” hat. I am simply Jiyong. Some people think that’s crazy, but in my mind there’s a distinction between Jiyong and G-Dragon. Think of it this way, G-Dragon is a part of me that I’ve created; an alter ego. A part of me I’ve invented for the world to see. It’s the part of me that I want the world to see. But Jiyong is me. It’s who I am. I feel like I want them – people and the fans - to understand who I actually am, behind the mask; I want them to see the real and genuine me.

This time was the same. I talked, laughed, and answered questions as I would normally have.

But on this particular set, things were slightly different.

-

It was on this particular set that I met her.

-

To be precise, we sat beside each other during the show. She was really charming, really beautiful. As superficial as it may sound, maybe that was why I was first drawn to her. We made small talk in between during breaks, and by the end of the recording, we had this amiable vibe going on.

I remembered thinking that she was a really nice girl. And pretty, too.

I think, for a second there, for just a little bit, my heart fluttered.

-

After that day, I began meeting up with her. It started off with friendly meetings like once a week.

We’d meet up at this quaint little old coffee shop. There was always an easy and cozy setting there that made everything feel right. It was a pleasure to have tête-à-têtes under the sunset, just me and her. It felt like a habit that I could get used to. And that was why, when she first asked me, “Jiyong-oppa, do you like drinking coffee?”

I declared that I loved it.

The coffee then was ordered by her, for me. I sipped it slowly, and the awfully bitter taste filled my entire mouth.

Actually, prior to that day, I rarely drank coffee, unless I was pulling an all-nighter and absolutely had to drink it.  I didn’t actually love it. I can barely even say that I like it. But looking back now, remembering that sunset, the fondness in the tone of her voice, and those eyes…I think anyone would have done the same.

-

Through these meetings, I gradually learnt more about her.

I learnt that she was someone really fond of romantic things. It was like she had this vision of a fairytale in her head. It was so endearing that from then on, I had this thought that I wanted to be the prince charming in her fairytales. I wanted to be her prince charming.

-

Oppa!

…Huh? I snapped back into reality at sound of Chaerin’s voice.

You’ve been daydreaming again!

Haha, oops. Okay, okay, getting back to work~ I said playfully, after ‘getting caught’. It was true though. In the times when I didn’t meet her, I would sometimes drift away into this little paradise, thinking of her. I’d imagine her smiling. I’d imagine her laughing.

Half-dreaming and half-awake, I leaned back on my chair and stared up at the ceiling in a silly smile. I said to you then,

Chaerin-ah, I think I’m in love.

I remember that there was this pause - a blank state of silence stood in the studio. It was as if I never said those words, and the words never left my mouth. But I knew they did.

I knew it because you replied me quietly, That’s nice, oppa. That’s nice…

-

In my half-awake state, I never realized how broken your words were.

-

A/N: Hello dear reader :) Hehehe, is the story taking an unexpected twist? (Or have you expected it O:) Either way, I hope you're liking it. As for the 'her' in the story, it's loosely based on some traits of some people (shall not list names here!), but still completely free up to your imagination. 

If you can, do leave me a comment, I would love to hear from you guys ^^