I guess… this was where it all began. I look back on my life now, and I think to myself, this was where everything started to go wrong.

-

A man sits by the window on a plane.

He seemed fairly relaxed, and laidback. He looks out of the window with a small smile of a happy thought.

Then, slowly, he closes his eyes, seemingly about to drift into a deep sleep.

-

But then suddenly, he jolts upright and turns his head towards the right side of the plane. His actions were frantic, quick and anxious. His eyes wildly darts from faces of passengers to different parts of the plane, and his breathing has long lost its calm rhythm.

This continued for a few long stretched minutes before another man, two seats away from him, reaches out to him. They talk for a bit and a distressing look overcomes the man’s features, before he regained some kind of composure.

He returns to his original sitting position.

-

He looks calm… but his eyes tell you he’s not.

He’s not calm at all.

-

He looks like that of a deer caught in headlights.

-

Consciously, or subconsciously, he begins to taps his fingers on the armrest.

Tap, tap, tap

-

He bites his lips as his eyes darts about in no particular direction.

-

He looks distraught, restless.

-

After a series of fidgety actions, he fumbles around his pockets and digs out his music player. Shoving in his ear buds, he cranks up the music.

And then, he looks out of the plane.

-

Actually, this particular man’s actions, strictly speaking, were nothing of the ordinary. It could be highly justified as a nervous wreck of a passenger, flying for the first time. Or it could be a passenger with hyperactive inclinations. Or perhaps, it could simply be someone really caught up in preoccupied thoughts of business or whatnot.

-

It was nothing out of the ordinary, right?  

Everything seemed normal enough.

-

The man looks calmer now.

-

Maybe the music soothed him somehow; maybe it provided him some kind of comfort or distraction. Either way, things settled for a bit.

-

The upbeat songs echoed in my ears and I looked out at the skies.

I told myself, everything would be okay.

-

Don’t think too much; things will be okay.

-

A slight stiff pain radiated from my left shoulder. I shifted in my seat, trying to find a more comfortable spot.

Finally, I readjusted and found myself at ease and comfort.

-

But then, I felt a cooling sensation below my right ear.

It was as though there was something sticky… or something wet.

-

Intuitively, I reached out to wipe off the wet spot.

-

My right index and middle fingers glossed over the spot gently.

-

I looked at my fingers and my eyes widened. Almost immediately, my fingers reached out to touch that spot again.

I looked at my fingers once more.

-

I blinked.

-

My eyes weren’t playing tricks on me.

I wasn’t dreaming.

-

I had traces of deep red dabbed on my index and middle fingers.

-

And so there I was, sitting at thirty six thousand feet above ground, with music blaring in my ears and two of my fingers dabbed with blood.

-

The man looks at his bloodied fingers for a long, long time. He has a really calm façade but dark, unreadable eyes and thinly pressed lips.

-

I wonder now, when I think back to that day:

What was my first thought back then? What was the first thing that came to my mind?

I don’t remember those thoughts exactly.

Those thoughts were lost, forever. 

I just remembered the feeling of being into a black hole – infinitely deep and dark. I remembered registering immense shock; I remembered not knowing what to do. Suddenly, my world was distorted.

I had a bleeding right ear. That single fact alone felt so difficult to swallow. And suddenly, I was bombarded with so many questions and scenarios.

Did this mean that my hearing was affected? Was there something wrong with my hearing…?

But there was definitely music playing, and I was definitely hearing it.

…which means that I’m not… deaf… right?

-

Right…?

-

Momentarily, an impulsive urge overcomes me. Suddenly, I wanted to see how bad the situation was. I wanted to see how much blood exactly, was there. I wanted to, no, I had to know what the hell was going on at my right ear. Swiftly, I removed my ear buds and started to stand up. I fumbled a bit on footing but managed to shift out of the lane and onto the main aisle. I glanced around and walked down the passageway leading to the restroom.

As I walked, my gaze shifted from face to face of the passengers. Somehow, for some odd reason, it had felt like everyone was staring at me. It felt like everyone else knew the situation I was in. Averting the faces, I focused on walking as quickly as possible to the restroom.

I took step after step on the carpeted flooring that seemed to go on for forever.

Consciously, I caressed the arch of my right ear.

It felt like a normal, ordinary right ear. It wasn’t swollen, it wasn’t painful.

Nothing.

-

So why the hell was there blood?

-

But then, out of a sudden, it hit me.

-

Snapping out of some kind of trance, the man gets up from his seat unsteadily and makes his way to the main aisle. His shoulders slumps a little, as though being intimidated, and his eyes focused on the passageway mainly.

As he walked down the aisle, his hands moved to his right ear.

-

Out of nowhere, this stinging sharp sound erupted from my right ear.

EEEEEEEEEEEEE

The sound was so hazardous and loud that it physically pained me. My left knee shivered in response and collapsed without a warning. Kneeling with one knee on the floor, I cupped my hands to my ear, mentally willing the noise to go away.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-

A pair of feet appeared before me but I could barely look up.

The pain was excruciating, and the noise was constantly getting louder. The frequency of the noise seemed to have evolved into a disgusting mix of ringing and buzzing sounds. My back was nearly bent-over and I had curled up defensively on the floor.

-

Make… the pain stop…!

-

Please.

Someone, anyone… please. Make it STOP.

-

The man crumples on the floor helplessly. He didn’t trip, he didn’t fall, he just collapsed. An air stewardess rushes over from down the aisle and proceeds to assist the man.

Sir, are you okay?

She receives no response or acknowledgement. She bends down beside the man, but was unable to see the man’s face.

Sir, can you stand up…?

There were no visible injuries on the man, but he appeared to be in tremendous pain.

-

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The searing pain now envelopes my entire being. It felt like an attack that bombarded me from all over. I cupped my hands to the sides of my head and my forehead touched the carpeted floor. The pain seemed to go on for forever, immensely assaulting me.

It was so unforgiving.

-

The man’s arms shivers a bit, in waves of small motions.

Sir?

The air stewardess tries to get his attention and places a hand on the man’s shoulders.

-

And then, it was gone.

I was cupping my ears so forcefully, trying to block out the pain when suddenly, it was gone. The pain was gone. There was no sound at all.

The pain had left without any trace of it ever being there in the first place.

Before I could even register what was happening, a hand touched my right shoulder. On reflex, I glanced up, only to see the worried face of an air stewardess.

-

The man finally looks up at the air stewardess. Relief flushed in the lady – she had been worried there, if the situation potentially got out of hand. She wouldn’t have known what to do.

Sir, are you…okay? She asks.

-

I stared at her silently.

And then her lips moved. She had asked if I was okay.

-

But I didn’t hear her words.

-

No, it was more like I couldn’t hear her words.

Her lips just moved and I heard her in my head, asking me if I was okay.

-

But I didn’t hear her voice.

…I couldn’t hear her voice.

-

I just… couldn’t hear anything.

-

The man stares at her with a seriously blank look.

-

At a loss of words, I stumbled to get on my feet. Her concerned expression stuck to my head. And so I simply said, I’m fine.

But I couldn’t even hear my own voice.

Those words left my mouth so silently, like a muted scene in a movie. I had felt the small pulsations in the back of my throat as I said those words, but I never heard them. Did those words really left my mouth?

Or did I imagine saying them out loud?

Silence was all I heard, and I couldn’t affirm anything.

-

And then, the man scrambles to get on his feet, and proceeds to walk off.

But not before he mumbles a soft and unconvincing “I’m fine” to the air stewardess. Those words were barely audible and indistinct. Before anything else could be said or asked, the man stalks off down the aisle.

He walks shakily and quickly out of the vision of the air stewardess.

-

I looked in the mirror, at myself.

I looked at the trail of blood from my right ear. And I checked my left ear. And then I looked at myself, with my hands placed on either sides of the sink. And then, as if in a trance, I switched the tap on, and watched the water leave the facet and go down the sink.

There was no sound. I watched the water flow down, and in my head, I imagined that sound of gushing liquid. But in reality, there was just silence.

There was simply a blank state of cruel silence.

-

Hello readers! Hehehe, I'm sure some of you have expected this development, considering some of the hints dropped in previous chapters :D Haha, and sorry about the lack of updates (and Chae) > Doing me best to update, alright! ^^ I sincerely thank you for waiting and for reading :) Do leave a comment if you could! :)