Previously

I looked at Jung Il Woo and he looked at me with a smug look as if he won and I saw him say goodbye to everyone and assured them that they'd inform any of them if something happened again as he closed the door from us.

'What the ?' I thought.

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IL WOO POV

'She looks much more peaceful right now.' I said to myself as I looked at the girl sleeping on the hospital bed. I didn't leave her even when she slept. I know that she just asked me to stay because she's scared but... I don't think I would have left anyway... even if she forced me to leave. Last night, when I entered her room, she looks so scared and so distraught that I almost opened the door again to leave but when our eyes met, I couldn't have... for the life of me, ignore her silent plea.

I didn't know when my feet started moving but when I realized, I'm already at the foot of her bed. We just stared at each other for about a minute when she said, "You're here."

She started tearing up then. I didn't know what to do so I moved closer to her and pulled her into a hug and shushed her. I thought, 'she needs to calm down first' but at the same time, I thought, 'why aren't you denying anything again ?!!' I was still in my lost thoughts when I heard her ask, "Do you... Do you know who I am??! Can you tell me?" I looked at her and saw her eyes were pleading.

She looked so lost and broken that I couldn't just stare away. It didn't look like it was a good idea to talk to her in her current state so I sighed and said, "Why don't we start tomorrow love? You're already pretty stressed out as it is anyway and it's night time... you should probably be sleeping" then I leaned in and kissed her on her forehead. To my surprise, she didn't flinch or move away. It felt good but it felt wrong as well.

I was back in my thoughts when she suddenly but gently pulled away from me and stared into my eyes. I thought that she's finally gonna lose it and get angry with me but she just asked me another question, "Well... can you just answer one of my questions then? I just really need to know."

"Okay." I answered before adding, "Just one. Then you'll sleep okay?"

I saw her nod her head so I said, "Okay, what's your question?"

I looked at her thoughtful expression and smiled to myself. 'This girl is really beautiful. No matter what she does or look like... she just...' I couldn't even finish my thoughts and just sighed contentedly to myself. How she got herself entangled with a psycho with a is a wonder to me. I looked over at her direction again and saw that she's looking at me with an unreadable expression so I cleared my throat and motioned for her to start. I know that she's itching to know who she is, who her family is, who her BOYFRIEND is and that sort of questions so I'm mentally preparing myself. I thought, 'If she asked family related questions then I'm doomed. She'll figure out that I'm a nobody and would definitely kick me out~!'

I kept getting distracted that I didn't realize that she's already asked her question so when she said, "YAH!" in a very loud and RUDE manner, I snapped from my daze and said, "Oh... uh.. huh?" Yeah... I sounded stupid and felt like it too but I couldn't take back what happened now so I just looked at her expectantly and good thing, she just repeated her question and asked, "I asked you... are you a good guy or a bad guy?"

To be perfectly honest, I didn't know what kind of question was that. I didn't know what to answer. Is she asking me if I was a good guy or a bad guy to her or what? I wanted to ask her again but when I looked at her expectant eyes, I just decided to tell her the truth.

'Heol~ I asked you to ask me a question and you gave me a vague one. Okay... to answer your vague question, I'll give you a vague answer' I thought and said out loud, "Both. Now sleep" and smirked at me.

She looked at me like I've grown two heads and muttered, "Jerk" before she her side and closed her eyes.

I stood there for a minute more before I decided to sit on the chair beside her bed. Just in case the doctors come to check on her again, I'd be close. I decided to watch her for the whole night, like I promised her friends and family. Thinking about them I thought, 'Oh God. What will I do about tomorrow?'

DARA POV

"Jerk" I muttered as I turned my body away from him.

I already know that he isn't my boyfriend since I kinda had a dream about a blonde guy and this guy is nowhere near blonde. He has a black spiky hair that points everywhere and kinda gives him a punk look and a dark aura but since he saved me, I didn't think that he's a bad guy.

The actual reason why I asked him that question is that he looked troubled when I said I want to ask him a question. I just actually want to know who I am like, what's my name, how old am I, where do I live, if I have a family and who were the people that was here earlier. They all acted as if they know me.. especially that girl who held my hand. I could have sworn that I felt lonely when I didn't see them when I woke up and when she let go of my hand then... I felt... emptier. If that makes any sense. I was thinking of what to ask him when I realized that I don't actually know anything from the guy who is with me as well so I asked him if he's a good guy... if he'd do something to me or if he was the actual reason I'm here but he just said that he's both a good guy and a bad guy and I was like, 'What the hell?!!'

I turned my back from him but I can still feel his stares to me. I should have felt scared or whatever that a stranger is keeping me company but... amazingly, I don't feel like he's a stranger at all. It's not the same feeling as I got from the people that were with us. They actually felt familiar but to him... I feel a slight tug towards him that is neither friendly nor romantic. It feels like... a chance.

Suddenly, I felt my eyes getting heavy and my body sagging very tiredly. I don't know what will happen tomorrow but... I don't feel scared. In fact... I actually feel... okay?

I didn't notice when I fell asleep but I was so sure that someone tucked in a stray hair to my ear and whispered, "sleep" and I actually did.

JI YONG POV

After that incident in the hospital all my members, 2ne1, thunder, Dara's mom and even YG bid their goodbyes to each other but no one looked at us or spoke to us. They decided to walk out the hospital to the parking lot and since that's where we're headed for anyway as well... I decided to tag along.

All the time we were walking, I kept talking to each and everyone of my member, trying to get their attention but they all shrugged me off. They didn't speak even a word to me and decided to ignore me. I felt like a ghost then. I didn't think that being ignored is this painful. I felt my heart constricting and my eyes started to sting. Usually, if someone is ignoring me, I ignore them as well cos I know that they'll come to me eventually to ask for my forgiveness but I know this is not one of those times. This time... I'm actually the one who messed up.

I especially tried calling Bae. He is my closest friend after all. We've known each other even before we started becoming trainees in YG. We've had each others back since as long as I can remember but it felt like it's not the same now.

When I saw Dara's mom and Thunder leaving the group I tried calling their names to notice me... which, Dara's mom did but she just gave me an empty stare. Then I turned and saw the 2ne1 girls and Yang Hyun Suk sajangnim, who decided to be their driver, are saying their goodbyes as well but before I could call them, they turned their backs to me and walked away as fast as their heels could go.

Then, all of a sudden, all that was left now is me, Kiko and my members. There was an undeniable awkward silence and I felt like I was being suffocated. I tried catching their eyes but the two maknae's are determined to not look at me. Even my aegyo and hugs are not working for the two maknaes.

Then there was TOP hyung. Now he... he didn't ignore my stare. In fact, he looked at me then to Kiko then back to me. I saw him shake his head as he looked down. When he caught my eye again he just told me, "I'm sad for you Jiyong but... you need to learn."

Just then, our van arrived and the maknae started going inside followed by TOP hyung. Finally, there was just Bae, me and Kiko. I don't think I could lose my bestfriend tonight, we're brothers so I called to him, "Bae..." in my most pleading voice. I could have kneeled in front of him and cry shamelessly as I ask for forgiveness but he was ahead of me as he held up his hand and said, "You're my brother Ji as I am yours. I would have your back anytime as always still... but Ji... not on this one. You know who Dara noona is to me Ji. I'm not saying we'll never forgive you, the maknaes will forgive you as well. Give them time. In fact, why don't we all give ourselves time? Let's reflect. Let's clear our heads first so we won't say things we don't mean okay? You know I'm right Ji so... think about it okay?" he ended as he turned his back to me as well and got into the car and closed the door.

When the van left I screamed that most passerby's flinched. I was so lost in my thoughts that I forgot that Kiko is still with me until she tapped me on the shoulder and said, "What was that Ji? What drama is this?! Stop embarassing me!" She said as she looked at me crossly. I didn't respond to her as I just shook my head and kept quiet the whole ride.

Now, we're at her apartment and we just finished a hot make up session. She said I owed it to her after the embarassment she experienced because of me. I had so much rage and disappointment in me that I know I was rough to her and indifferent during the whole thing. In fact, I am quite sure I didn't even that time. I looked at her. I mean, really looked at her as she's cuddling in my chest. 'She's really pretty' I thought, 'not to mention, y and good in bed' my brain added, 'but...' I kept thinking, 'she's not Dara' my mind finished for me.

That's when I felt my eyes getting prickly and this time, I wasn't able to stop the tears from flowing freely. 'Why did I do that? Why did I leave her? All she ever did was love me and I... I didn't even bother remembering the promises that I told her.' I thought. I smiled as I bitterly added, 'She didn't even get mad at me.' Or did she? Did she cry? How many times did she cry? The doctor said she's been taking anti-depressant, I swallowed hard, 'Was it that painful to be with me Dara-yah? That you had to take medicines for the pain? Why didn't you just leave me Dara-yah? I'm ... I'm not even worth you.' I shoved the body that's cuddling in me and sobbed openly.

I felt Kiko waking up and she wrapped her arms to me. 'She's cold. Not like Dara at all.' I thought. 'Dara is warm.' I thought again bitterly. I snapped up when I heard Kiko say, "Hey, why are you being like this?! We just had and you're crying?!?!! Is this still about that Dara ?!! Ya Kwon Ji--" she said but I didn't let her finish as I shouted, "Yah! who are you calling ?!!! Dara is anything but! She's kind, pure and innocent!! She's not like you!!"

She gasped at my words. We're still after all and we're having a huge row. "Why don't you get her back then if she's so special. Oh wait, that's right, she doesn't even ing remember ever being with you! Face it Ji! You're the one that tainted her! People as dirty as us should be together! You're not made to be with that goody goody Dara anyway! I wish she'll stay that way. Heck I wish she'll die wi--" I couldn't let her finish as my eyes already started seeing red. I charged to her direction and swung my hand. But before it reached her I saw fear in her eyes. I saw that in Dara's face as well when I shoved her earlier. Funny, now that I think about it, just a few hours ago, Dara is still my girlfriend and she still remembers me. She loves me. She loved us. But now...

I sighed as I put my hands down. I saw her relax but then she swung her hands and it hit me square on the cheeks. I looked at her crossly but she just said, "Are you rethinking about us again Ji?! You already chose me earlier right? Before she ing got herself in that car accident?!! That was your decision Ji! Not mine! I don't even remember forcing you to be with me!! Why are you being like this to me??! You're unfair Ji! I love you!! She doesn't even remember being with you!!" she's openly crying as well now. I felt pity for this girl. Of course she's right. She didn't force me. Everything that happened here is my fault. Everything.

I didn't know what to do so I just hugged her and shushed her. She kept muttering "unfair" to me under her breath and in between sobs while she kept hitting my chest lightly. I just let her because she's right. She has the right to beat me. Now, I just wish the others did that as well. Bommie noona should have slapped me. Cheondoong should have punched me. Everyone should have a go at me then. If that would lighten everyones heart they should have done it. I should be grateful that they didn't but... it feels otherwise. It's more burdensome because I know that whatever hate they are feeling won't lessen one bit.

I felt her body sagging and saw her breathing getting even. I saw her sleeping so I laid her in bed. I looked at her again then proceeded to go to the bathroom. I took a quick bath and wore my clothes then softly left the bedroom. I couldn't sleep so I went to the fridge. I'm craving for ramyun and I don't know why I'm so sure that I'll find one in the fridge which... to my disappointment, I didn't. I proceeded to the couch because in mine and Dara's flat I always choose to sleep there whenever we get in a fight to make her feel guilty. I now realize how stupid I was cos I am actually the one who should have been guilty then but to save myself, I guilt tripped her most of the time.

I sat on the sofa and then stood up immediately. I scratched my head as I thought, 'There's something wrong about this couch.' I looked around the room and thought, 'not just the couch... this whole room.' I chuckled as I shook my head and thought, 'Of course, how could I be so stupid. This is not home.'

I looked around the room and thought, 'This is a fully furbished room. How can I be so picky?' I remember that once in an MV shoot, I slept in a sidewalk because I was so tired. 'But that's not the case isn't it?' my mind insisted, 'you were able to sleep then because Dara was beside you and said she'd look after you while you're sleeping. You felt safe and relaxed whenever you're with her. She's you're home, pabo. What are you doing here?' my mind finally ended.

"I'm doomed." I quietly muttered as I sat back in the couch and thought of what tomorrow might bring.

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Edited: June 1, 2020 / Moving to my new wattpad account @khk_writer visit me on Twitter with the same @