It was surprisingly chilly October day in what was usually one of the hottest months in southern California according to the weatherman. I breathed in the cool breeze that had mercifully swept away the city's ever-present brown haze. Its pretty decent, I must have loved coming to LA, at YG corp branch with 2NE1 group members.. 

I drove alone up and down Melrose Avenue with a navigation device, where Wally's was located, there were two-story buildings the top floors given over to apartments and artist studios, the bottom floors home to all kinds of retail stores, from liquor to Indian art, from thrift shops to some of the trendiest fashion boutiques in the city. LA was an eclectic mix of styles and classes and tastes, and I'm glad my older self was able to settle down to a great company and beautiful friendships. 

All the time I spent on the road as a young actress, moving from one town to another summer-like paradises, malls and provinces. I was hardly ever in one place, long enough to put down roots... Soon I was filming, hosting, recording commercials and afternoon shows, modelling, and narrating documentaries. Within two years I was earning a lot for my family, it was a full time job that I had no proper training for. I wasn't ready to be as dominating as I am in the present time.

Whenever I drove, I felt considerably better. Yes! It was a beautiful day.. It would be more beautiful if I'm with her.. There was something in those piercing eyes, that take charge, confident smile, the way she stood so at ease with herself. She was frighteningly y and unaware that she was, for every movement spoke so much...

I made my way.east along Melrose and turned left on Highland, then signaled to turn into Hampton's parking lot.

"LUST!" 

I jumped as I heard myself say it out loud. Yup, there it was. About as subtle as a bomb..

In the parking lot I turned off the motor and sat inside the Audi RS7. This was not good.. I had to think this through, get this this disturbing thought straightened out in my mind, tie it up in a box and send it on its way.

Just because she was incredibly attractive didn't mean I had to be attracted to her, I'm also a girl for crying out loud. She was definitely my type if she was a boy.. artistic, thoughtful, sometimes childish, mature, creative, responsible, charismatic and funny, there wasn't a boring thing in the world when I'm with her. If I were to describe it she is the best in taking care of others... a lover of the universe... mine!

As I got out of the car with long steamed white roses at hand..

CL and me...

Was it really possible that were married?