The second time was over the weekend, we hadn’t had schedules. It was rest day.

I saw Leeteuk at the kitchen, sitting in one of the high stools, while sipping in his cup.

“Good Morning Kyu.” He smiled brightly at me.

“Good Morning Hyung”

“Why don’t you have breakfast? I cooked some eggs and bacon there.” Leeteuk said

I really can’t help but feel warm inside.

I took some eggs, bacon and bread, partnered it with a chocolate drink.

I sat across him. He was still engulfed with what he was sipping, and he can’t help but smile.

“What’s wrong Hyung? I asked, interested for the reason behind that smile.

“You know what, this tea’s so good.” He said.

“Tea?”

He smiled sheepishly “The one given to me.”

“Oh.” I said

“I have received a lot if gifts before, but I don’t know why, this feels different. It feels personal and intimate.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was really celebrating inside of me. I really am just happy with what he said, not minding that he didn’t know who the enigma was.

I subtly cleared my throat “So what are you expecting with this admirer? I mean do you have idea what kind of person it may be?”

Of course I used IT.I would not use she to refer to myself. But he didn’t notice it.

“A nice and caring person, I could get along with? I don’t know. All I know is maybe there would be something when I’d finally find out who it is.”

“You’re cheesier than I thought Hyung.” I chuckled, trying to hide my emotions with teasing.

“Yah, you’re only the one I told how I specifically felt. How can you be so rude?” he slightly kicked my foot underneath. We both laughed.

“Well you didn’t have a choice. I am the one who’s here” I said

“Yeah, I wished it could have been Heechul so the comments would have been so much ruder.”

We laughed.

“Don’t worry hyung, your cheesiness is safe with me.”

“Actually, I couldn’t have told you too, I have the choice you know. But it just feels like I can share it to you.” He explained. I was so taken. He trusted me with such feelings.

---

That afternoon, I was too excited that he’d finally receive the third surprise. The excitement seemed to exalt after the conversation I had with Leeteuk earlier. I was planning to give him about ten surprises, on the tenth; I would finally reveal Secret Admirer’s identity.

The package had been managed to be delivered this afternoon. Kangin of course helped me again with it.  Though he often commented that I should stop being corny, But I was sure he thinks it was sweet.

I sat in front of my journal, scribbling words that I felt for Leeteuk.

I couldn’t still bring myself to say that I love him, but I was sure it wasn’t a mere crush anymore.

I know my eyes blistered with so much affection, and I couldn’t help but think about him. I could just stay that way for a moment.

Suddenly I heard a knock on our door. It couldn’t have been Sungmin, I didn’t lock the door, so he could have entered.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

“Hyung?” I said. My heart was racing.

“Can I enter?”

“Sure hyung.”

He opened the door and was standing there.

I told him to come in, and he sat on my bed.

I turned my reclining chair to face him.

“What is it hyung?” he immediately took the chair beside me and sat there. He was facing me, near enough that his knee touches mine. I was surprised.

He took something from his pocket, a note, the note from me.

“I had a new gift again.” He said smiling; he was so pleased, that he seemed like a child showing off what he received.

“Really hyung?” I tried to sound convincingly surprised at the same time interested; though I really was interested with his reaction.

“Yeah. It’s a lucky charm; a lucky bracelet.” He showed off his bracelet and said as he places a hand behind his neck, “I like it; I’ll read the note to you.”

The note: Leeteuk, I hope you liked the scarf. I brought this bracelet with the scarf; I guess this goes with it. That’ll match you know. This is a lucky bracelet. I hope you can carry this with you.”

Your Secret Admirer

“So you like it hyung?”

“Are you kidding me? This is crazy.” He said, but he countered it with “I love it.”

“Granting you would find out who the person is, what would you do?”

“I never really thought about it before, I mean I haven’t really foreseen how I would manage to talk to this person. But I am sure it’ll go just fine. Every time I receive these gifts, I just feel so special.”

“I’m assuming that, that person is hesitating since maybe you’d react differently when you’d find out his real identity.”

“I guess there is nothing to fear of. No matter what, whoever she is, I will always be grateful”

Great, just great, he said she, which made me hesitate more.

But I was happy, he trusted me with his thoughts again. He could have shared it with the others, but he chose to share it to me. Now he did especially chose me, since he really went to see me, not just because I was the person who he saw first.

Today, I wanted to give the fourth gift.

It was the first day of the week and I really want a nicer gift, since our performances will finally start. Leeteuk is finally performing with us again, and it is special. It is the time where all the people will witness the leader again. These performances must be exceptional, for the audiences’ feedback shall determine our next career move, with that I wanted to give him something that could encourage him.

That morning we sat together at the van. We had always been close to him; he had always been close to me. He had always been looking after me and taking care of us; he had always been taking care of me. But today, I felt more special to him. I knew that it was because he felt more comfortable with me since we shared his innermost thoughts about the gifts. It was suffice to make me flutter in the air. I am so happy.

We performed live today; one of the six performances of the week.

I saw Leeteuk with the female trainees after the performance. I couldn’t help but get jealous. I heard that he was congratulating them for a job well done. But I seem to feel so desperate to build a wall around him. So I decided to give him another surprise and I’d note there that his Secret Admirer isn’t one of the trainees, and yes his Secret Admirer is conniving with another group member, but hopes that he’ll be patient enough to wait for the right time to reveal his admirer’s identity.

I snapped, and left the area. I wasn’t thinking anymore. I headed out of the venue. I went someplace where I could buy another gift inconspicuously.

---

Three hours later, I went to the dorm. Hurriedly ran to my room. I hid the plastic bag on my closet. Then I started to scribble on my journal again. Not long enough, I heard our main door opened violently.

I was startled and I hurriedly run to the living room.

I saw Leeteuk immediately, frowning at the sight of me. The other members were with him too, sighing upon seeing me.

“You brat! Where have you been?” Heechul shouted

“Yes, Kyu, where have you been? You’ve been gone after the performance.” Sungmin added

“Manager hyung was supposed to meet us, but you were gone, and Leeteuk hyung had been worried as hell. We’ve been looking for you the whole time.” Siwon asked worriedly.

I saw Heechul pissed, I saw some worried faces, but Leeteuk’s face shown anticipation. He was waiting for me to give a reasonable answer. I knew I couldn’t give one so I stuttered, “I...I went somewhere. I b...bro... bought something.”

“And you didn’t even tell us. You even left your phone.” Leeteuk sounded sour.

I felt my throat dry up.

“I’m sorry hyung.”

He just nodded, but I was sure he was still disappointed. He went to his room and Kangin came to talk to me.

“You see, Leeteuk hyung was worried as hell. And he took the responsibility for your disappearance. Since we weren’t able to find you, he had to face manager hyung’s temper and he’s really tired you know.”

“I’m really sorry hyung.” I said silently

“Tell it to the man himself. Where were you anyway?”

“Well, I bought something again.”

“Aish. Crazy love.”

---

I was really guilty that night, and I couldn’t bring myself to see him. I told Sungmin that I’ll just stay in the room. I was contemplating if I should give Leeteuk the gift soon. I decided that I should, a gift from Admirer usually lightens him up. So I tried to prepare the gift.

---

I woke up when a felt a shaking in my arm.

I opened my eyes, it was Sungmin. He was already dressed.

“I told you we’re going to manager hyung this morning right?” He said pouting.

Oh. I just remembered, we should be going to manager hyung this morning. I put an alarm at 5 am however I turned it off when it woke me earlier. I forgot, and I was still sleepy that time since I woke at 2am to finish working on the gift since, I couldn’t if Sungmin was still awake. Then I even worked in the balcony so I wouldn’t disturb Sungmin with my movements. The chilly air must have had affected me, that I feel I was about to get cold. I even can’t sleep right after because my thought wouldn’t let me sleep. My thought about Leeteuk wouldn’t let me sleep. I was worried that he was seriously mad at me.

After getting ready everyone else were already waiting at the van.

“What has taken you so long Kyu?” Donghae asked casually

“We’re already late. I surely know manager hyung wouldn’t let this pass, since yesterday we were unable to have the meeting.” Ryeowook said

I looked at Leeteuk, his eyebrows were still in a frown. He’s gone madder at me. It broke my heart.

“Yeah, and why did you wake up early in the morning Kyu? I saw you leaving the room earlier. Then I didn’t notice when you were baked to comeback.” Sungmin said.

“Really, he did? Were you playing starcraft?” Eunhyuk asked

“I... I’m really sorry guys, that I’ve caused you trouble again.” I said

“Well you sure did, but its okay. We can handle manager hyung and on the other hand just promise us you won’t disappear like that again.” Kangin backed me up.

“Yeah, don’t scare the hell out of us.” Heechul added

Leeteuk, well Leeteuk, still sat silently as possible. Was he really that disappointed with me? I couldn’t blame him though. I messed up twice. I know that I can face the consequences but I am sure it will still be blamed somehow on him. He’s the leader.

---

That night, he received the gift after our second performance of the week. I hoped it would change his mood. I hoped could alleviate his anger. But it doesn’t seem to have an effect on him. He was still not in the mood. He still was impersonal with me, even with the other members.

Even if I revealed on note that the secret admirer isn’t one of the trainees and that one of the Super Junior member’s helping me and even if the gift was a mini ME of him.

The others read the note too and were pinpointing each other who were the accomplice. Leeteuk had a poker face, and entered his room unceremoniously, though he did bring the gift with him.

Is this chapter too long? As promised I would update this weekend. I had the urge to. I was too excited to post this chapter. And I am too excited to post the next few chapters more. What can you say about this chapter? Shall update another one? I want your feedback. Thank you guys. :)