CHAPTER 20

Insisting the Unobvious

It has been days after that confrontation. Leeteuk and I keep on ignoring each other. I am thankful that we don’t have to work together, otherwise it would be a disaster. There were times that our eyes would meet and times where I caught him looking at me, that would mean he caught me looking too. During the first few days, his eyes were emotionless; poker faced but later his eyes softened. He seemed sorry for what he did.

Heechul-hyung and Kangin-hyung are still convinced that Leeteuk was jealous. Of course, I want it to be true, but I don’t want to rely on assumptions.

It’s funny that though I don’t want to rely on assumptions, I still did try my best not to have close encounters or intimate moments with Siwon. I guess I didn’t want him to be jealous?

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What if I did not send him gifts? What if I hadn’t fallen in love with him? What if I just ignored my developing feelings for him before? I could have had a peaceful mind, right? I had a lot of what-ifs scenarios in my mind while I was sipping halfway my coffee at the dorm’s terrace.

I was alone feeling the cold breeze of morning air. It soothed me somehow. The solemn and serene ambiance that I was enjoying soon ended. He came there. He stood there beside me without stating a word for few deadly seconds. I didn’t dare to look at him nor tried to talk to him. It was my place. I came there first, if he wanted a place to stay it should not be there. It was mine to claim.

A word finally came from his mouth. My name.  “Kyu.” He said softly.

I was still looking somewhere else. It could have been the dorm’s view of the city, but no, I was staring at nothingness.

“Kyu.” He repeated. It sounded bolder and determined.

I just looked at him icily.

“I was a jerk.” He said.

“You were.” I said sternly.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have used your orientation and your feelings against you. Can you… I mean can we be okay?”

I looked in his eyes, they were truthful and sincere.

“Hyung, I don’t think it’s easy to be okay after all that you knew, and I knew. But I hope we can try. I am sorry too if I had… If I like you.” I looked at the floor. I knew I was shaking.

“Kyu… Let’s just not talk about it, okay?”

---

Things weren’t easy. I didn’t act normally around him anymore. He didn’t act the same too. There was an unspoken awkwardness between us, but we tried to be fine though. We talk casually. I couldn’t bring to anymore. There was a gap that breaks my heart.

I was most of the time with Heechul and Kangin-hyung. I am comfortable being with them though they insistently say that Leeteuk likes me which I couldn’t bring myself to believe, at least there’s someone I can talk to; there’s someone who knew what I am going through. If not for them, I would have gone crazy.

Heechul desperately wanted to prove that Leeteuk likes me back. However, I find it peculiar that he kept on telling me that if I wouldn’t end up with Leeteuk since I was blind to see, I should start dating him then. But I don’t feel that he likes me though. To be honest, even though I kept on discarding the thought that Leeteuk likes me back, there were still times when I can’t help but assume. He made me assume. His actions made me assume. But with Heechul, there is nothing. So, I don’t know why he keeps on proposing it. And it’s crazy but lately, he has been quite touchy, I know he really is, but I mean it levelled up, and he became more affectionate in public. He had wiped a dirt on my face, sniggled me into a hug, and worst, or most epic of all was when he posted a picture where he had stolen a kiss on my cheeks when I was having a selca on Kangin’s phone. All the elfs love it, it was considered fan service, I didn’t really mind, I was thinking maybe he just miss having a boyfriend, I don’t want to think maliciously about it, but still it’s crazy.

Hi guys, I'm back from my hiatus. I will be posting more chapters and will be finishing this fic. I hope you'll still follow this. Thank you!