Out-Reach-Program

Two hours before the trip I had already sent a number of text messages to Kyuhyun. I had also been ringing his phone a couple of times. I’ve told the staff to wait for Kyuhyun at least for thirty minutes more. There was no response.

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                I reached the dorm frustrated. I called our manager to check on Kyuhyun because he had me worried but he was absolutely fine. I found out that he was with Siwon… Oh…He had been so engrossed and too busy to even inform me.

                The knocking on my door woke me at 7:00 pm. I soon drift to sleep as soon as I hit the bed knocked down from the out-reach program.

                “Oh, it’s you” when I opened the door.

I just got up from my sleep so I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone especially the person I really don’t want to see.

                “Hyung, I’m sorry”

                “Yeah” I said tonelessly.

                “Really, I am sorry”

                “I said yeah, isn’t that enough? You can leave now.”

                “Can I just explain myself?”

                “Not in the mood to hear some lame excuses right now.”

He closed the door to probably isolate the tension. He sat on my bed uninvited.

                “Last night Siwon called that he needed a friend to talk about him in a magazine program which would feature him.”

                “You should have at least called.”

                “I was to call you last night but Siwon told me that maybe he can tap another so I didn’t. But just this morning he called and he said others were unavailable so I rushed for the taping.”

                “…and forgot about me.” I sounded bitter, I guess. I quite was.

                “I’m sorry…Siwon, I mean they had a deadline of the shoot… I probably think you’d do the same right?”

                “Not that I wouldn’t call. You’ve also put the staff hanging and you promised me!”

                “I am sorry… But you care about Siwon too…And you wouldn’t…”

                I cut him off

                “Siwon, Siwon, Siwon… You’ve always been talking about Siwon! How about me? You’ve promised and it’s all been taken for granted because apparently you’ve been eyeing Siwon.”

                “Hyung” His statement sounded like he was asking what-is-going-on?

                “You like me right? Oh… Why? Has your affection has really been diverted to Siwon now?”

He was surprised

“Yeah… I know it, you have been that admirer who has been sending me gifts and corny messages. I found out about it even before our reconciliation at the show. So your feelings were just really imagined? Am I not the one you like anymore? Was it all mere crush? Tell me!”

He was still in shock, speechless. I, not knowing what was happening too said impulsively, “Well that’s good news, at least I am no longer bothered by your childish-puppy-love behavior. It was such a pain anyway.”

His face turned blank, but I can see the tears welling on either side of his eyes. He stood in front of me, but he was looking somewhere else.

“Yes, I do… I do… I do like you! But why are you using it against me? If you don’t like what I did, I’m sorry! But you seem just used my non-appearance earlier as an excuse to finally tell me, you are hating me because of my feelings. I guess what you did is worse. If you didn’t like it, or like me you could have at least not pretended to be my friend all along! I never insisted myself on you on the first place! You could have told me that you don’t like me and you don’t like me liking you, I could have avoided you then. I don’t deserve to be insulted this way hyung.”

He stormed out of my room. I stayed at the room all night and I heard he did the same.

The last of my updates tonight.

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