Due to Baekhyun’s constant whining for food- which he claimed were for Hana’s sake- they decided on a café that was nearest to their rendezvous point. The café wasn’t crowded, neither was it too big. The brown polished tables had matching chairs with cushions for comfort whereas the walls had various contemporary graphics made on them. The place was small with furniture that was not compatible with the walls but somehow it felt right. Hana felt comfortable in the café. She liked the calm atmosphere and inhaled the scent of freshly brewed coffee. They seated themselves at the table next to the window. While Lay sat opposite Hana, Baekhyun sat opposite her and Kyungsoo sat next to Lay. The walk towards the café wasn’t silent as Baekhyun had done a remarkable job at complaining at every point while Kyungsoo took the liberty to punch the latter in the stomach every now and then. But as they settled in their seats, the air around them suddenly became awkward. Kyungsoo cleared his throat and Lay tapped his fingers on the table, making it evident that they felt just as much awkward as Hana did.

“You guys are pathetic.”

Lay stopped tapping and cocked his eyebrow while Kyungsoo almost choked on spit whereas Hana widened her eyes at the sudden intrusion of voice.

“Seriously you guys, I can cut the awkwardness with this table knife.” Baekhyun held up the piece of silverware for emphasis and made rather dangerous gestures of cutting in the air. Kyungsoo snatched the knife away, adding a comment with it and Baekhyun retaliated with an equally witty response. Another argument soon broke out and it was only a matter of time before Lay, who intervened in efforts to calm the two people, somehow ended up getting involved as well.

They created a ruckus and drew attention Hana rather not want to attract. They were lucky though, that the café was nearly empty but the little amount of people that eyed them was more than enough for Hana to redden in embarrassment. But even with the bit of humiliation that only she among the four suffered, she enjoyed their bickering. It was childish actually, as they argued how to make their situation less awkward when they themselves had turned it from awkward to embarrassing. She saw, with much amusement, the little verbal combat between the three. Baekhyun always had a witty comeback for every comment whereas Kyungsoo had heaps of sarcasm bottled inside. Lay was no less witty or sarcastic than the other two either.

The only time they stopped their bickering was when the waitress arrived with their menus, eyeing them weirdly as she distributed them among four. The argument dissolved immediately and it took Hana a couple of seconds to register that thought. The guys that were busy name calling and slandering each other with sarcasm with such passion just a few moments ago were now sitting in peace, sharing suggestions for what to order like the argument less than three seconds ago had never occurred.

“I’m gonna order Pasta Puttanesca!” Baekhyun exclaimed with much delight.

“Oh cool, what’s that?” Lay asked as he leaned over slightly to look over at Baekhyun’s menu despite holding one in his own.

“It’s pasta.”

Kyungsoo gave him a look that screamed ‘you don’t say’ as Lay continued.

“ I figured it’s pasta but what’s in it?” Lay asked whereas Baekhyun shrugged.

“ I don’t know, the name's fancy so it should be good.”

The stare his two friends gave him was balanced between irritation and incredulousness before they simultaneously shook their heads at their friend’s antics.

“ Hana! Wanna try it with me?” not seeing any harm in the idea, Hana agreed. She too had no idea what the pasta contained and it was definitely the first time she heard of such a thing but the amount of glee Baekhyun spoke with didn’t give Hana the courage to turn him down.

-

Hana returned home within four hours. For four hours she had sat in that café with them and heard them discuss every topic, relevant and irrelevant, than the topic they had originally met up to discuss. They talked about food, cars and at one point even flowers but the topic of winter festival was not uttered by anyone’s lips. It had slipped Hana’s mind as well who only remembered after entering the house. The house was dark like usual and Hana took off her shoes and walked towards the kitchen for a drink. Standing near the refrigerator door, she heard the front door unlock and didn’t even turn around when her aunt walked into the kitchen.

Junmi made a small sound of surprise as she switched on the house lights and saw Hana alone in the dark. The sight of her niece had a paradox effect on her. She was relieved to see Hana alright but anxiety suddenly washed over her as she remembered the events of previous night. She had acted out of character and she feared that her behavior may only have pushed Hana further into the dark cave she had been living in. she walked closer to the kitchen and hovered at the door frame.

“ Hana, when did you get back?” Junmi’s voice was soft and in every way gentle but Hana could still feel hints of anxiety somewhere in it. Although her aunt had made her presence very much obvious, Hana didn’t bother turning around. Not that she had anything to say in the first place.

“I got so worried when I didn’t find you in your room. But then I read your note. You wrote you met up with your partners for the festival, how did it go?”

Still no answer and her aunt heaved a sigh. The fact that Hana wouldn’t even turn around made it even harder for her to rid them from the uncomfortable atmosphere. Hana felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned around obediently towards her aunt. The gaze her aunt gave her was so gentle that it reminded Hana of her mother’s eye, she saw the pain as well, the pain that her aunt went through and the pain she felt right this instant. A lump formed in as she blinked back the tears and fixed her gaze to her feet. She was ashamed, for causing trouble for her aunt, for making her life harder than it was already, for being a burden that her aunt was stuck with. If only her parents were still alive, she wouldn’t be a burden to her, she would still have Yuri as her best friend and her life would be perfect, just as it was before. But that was not a possibility. Her parents were gone, so was Yuri and Hana had since then been nothing but a disgrace and a burden to her aunt.

“Hana, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, it’s just….... I was so angry when I got the call that you missed you appointment and then when I came back you weren’t home and I got worried and you wouldn’t even reply to my messages or calls and then I saw the results of your check ups and, and I’m just so, so sorry.” Junmi panted heavily as she ended her monologue and as the warmth and concern of her voice reached Hana’s ears, her eyes moistened and she could see droplets landing on the surface of her shoes.

Warm hands cupped her cheeks and her aunt lifted her head to look straight into Hana’s sorrow filled eyes. The mere sight of them tore her heart to bits. Her eyes watered as she saw the regret in the girl’s eyes and she didn’t need a spoken apology to realize how apologetic Hana felt. She used her thumbs to wipe away her niece’s tears and cradled her in her arms. Hanna too, clung onto her aunt’s body. By the time they pulled away Hana’s tears had stopped while Junmi’s had already dried and the older woman smiled brightly at the young one despite their current situation.

She made Hana sit down on the sofa before she went disappeared into the kitchen. Hana had calmed down a lot, her heart beat slowed down again and she felt a bit better after her little breakdown. She was happy that she and her aunt had made up again. Occurrences, such as that one sided argument, were normal in their life but somehow Hana always felt scared after every fight. What if her aunt wouldn’t talk to her anymore? What if Junmi had enough of Hana’s attitude and abandoned her as well? The possibilities were endless and each of them made Hana more and more afraid.

Two coffee mugs appeared in her view and she looked up to find her aunt smiling down at her. She took the mug and held it between both her hands. The aroma of coffee was always her favorite and she relished the moment before taking a careful sip of the hot beverage. Her aunt settled down next to her and patted her head before letting her fingers brush back Hana’s hair. The said girl turned towards her and noticed the white board and a pair of markers in the hands of her still smiling aunt.

Hana took the board when her aunt brought it towards her and could see lines of green staining the perfectly white board.

‘How was the meeting? Did you have fun?’

Hana looked back at her aunt who still had that smile plastered on her face and slightly shook her head in amusement at Junmi’s childish behavior but popped open her marker nonetheless.

‘It was good.’, was her brief reply and Hana grimaced as she saw the untidy purple scrawling below the neat green one before the board was snatched back from her.

‘Are they nice? You didn’t have any problems did you? You can tell me if you do ‘

Hana cocked an eyebrow as she saw the little smiley at the end and as she saw her aunt looking at her expectantly with a giddy smile, she questioned if her aunt was indeed thirty eight or not. Hana took the board back, and recalled previous events. Random scenes flashed through her head and she was somehow satisfied with how she had spent her day.

‘They’re nice. No I’m not having any problems and I’ll tell you if I do.’ The last part was a lie, and Junmi was sure that if any problem were to occur, she would not be made aware of it as soon as she’d prefer. Junmi discarded that thought as there was another question that had took up most of her concern.

“Hana.”, Junmi called out warily and the mentioned girl stiffened. She had a hunch of what was going to come next so she quickly scribbled something on the white board and placed it in her aunt’s hands before she gave Junmi a peck on her cheek and escaped to her room. The entire thing happened so fast that Junmi couldn’t even make proper sense of it.  She still sat on the sofa, her eyes staring at the space where Hana had disappeared. She read Hana’s excuse and sighed only to smile the next moment as she read their chat. Her smile soon faltered, turning into a frown as she remembered the calls she had received during her trip, she had a whole lot to deal with.

~~

longer chapter cuz i ddnt update for a while.