Hana had her hands clapped on her ears as she rocked back and forth in a dark corner. The tears streaming down her face intensified with every crash she heard. They were fighting again. But this time, it was worse than before. The two months Hana stayed with her aunt’s family after her parents’ accident, she had witnessed them arguing over and over again. What was worse that the arguments were mainly because of her. Youngmin never liked Hana, or any of Junmi’s family. So when Junmi took over the guardianship of the sixteen year old and brought her into their house, Youngmin wasn’t delighted. He’d always pick on her, as immature as that sounds, make hurtful comments, and Junmi, who treasured the last trace of her sister’s existence, couldn’t bear it.

Things in their household weren’t smooth to begin with. Sehun’s parents would always fight even before Hana came into the picture. There was a secret the kids didn’t know about, their father’s perfidy. It wasn’t a complete secret, Junmi wasn’t stupid, but she was too afraid to confront. She kept telling herself that maybe it was just a misunderstanding, that maybe it was just her imagination running wild. However, she knew she was fooling herself. Junmi retorted to unhealthy ways of dealing with the building stress and anxiety. Hana had once caught a glimpse of smoke, and Sehun constantly used to complain about the weird smell surrounding his mother. The elders always shushed him, and he being clueless, stopped mentioning the odor. Haera, Hana’s mother, worried constantly over her sister, especially after a thirteen year old Hana told her she saw holding a ‘white stick that released smoke’.  Haera was relieved and confused as to why Hana didn’t figure out the object but didn’t dwell into the fact.

Junmi never shared her problems with her sister. Haera disliked Youngmin even when he and her sister were dating. Haera didn’t keep her dislike hidden, which is why after Junmi made the mistake of marrying him, she kept all her issues to herself. Despite Junmi not mentioning her worries Haera was always aware of her sister’s condition. The frown lines, the eye bags, her frail appearance, Haera saw it all but kept quiet. Instead, despite her distaste for the man, she began visiting her sister often, and although the kids of both the sisters were already good friends, they got to spend more and more time with each other. They were the reason Hana didn’t find it necessary to make more friends, she was content with them and Yuri by her side.

The arguments between the couple back then weren’t pretty. Her sons were aware that their parents weren’t on good terms, and they also knew why. Not entirely sure but they still had a hunch. They had seen their father around with a woman and they weren’t idiots.  Ever since Junmi took Hana in, the fights got worse. Their words got nastier, comments became more and more penetrative, and voices grew louder and louder.

It started at the dinner table, Junmi once again had too much to drink, and Youngmin was late yet again saying he was busy with ‘work’.  The air in the house was always tense when the husband and wife were together in one room. The kids tried their best not to make any unnecessary noise and remained quiet while the couple made no efforts to start a normal conversation. It wasn’t the snide comments they passed at each other every once in a while that triggered the bomb. It was the uncalled for rude and extremely offensive comment that he made addressing Hana when she accidentally smeared some sauce on the table cloth.

In one sentence he had managed to call Hana a brat with no manners, a burden and a nuisance, and that her parents were probably happy in hell that they didn’t have to deal with a daughter like her anymore. Hana never understood how a man could be so……deplorable. Her father was a gentle person, and never in her life had she imagined someone speaking such vile words to a child, especially to an orphan. Hana bit back her tears but the Junmi didn’t hold back on her words. The alcohol in her system didn’t allow her to think before she spoke, and before they knew it another fight broke out.

The biggest one.

Their last one.

Sixteen year old Hana had been sitting in the same spot ever since Sehun brought her up to his room. Even with her hands as barriers, Hana could still hear them arguing, going at each other’s throats with insults. She could hear her name being mentioned over and over. She could hear Youngmin calling her foul words, and Junmi stepping up in her defense. Hana cried harder,

‘They’re fighting because of me….’.

Hana had always thought her aunt lived a happy life. She had never seen or heard her aunt cry because of her husband, neither did she recall her complaining about him to her mother. Then why was it, that ever since Hana stepped into their house, things started falling apart for them? she thought it was her fault, and the constant accusations she heard Youngmin directing towards her, she was almost sure she was the root.

Sehun hugged her shaking figure. Unlike Hana, he knew. He was sixteen and he wasn’t dumb. He pieced everything together long ago, and being in this family, he knew the origin of the arguments wasn’t Hana.  She was just a decoy, a cover that his father used to fight with his mother. Sehun had remembered eavesdropping on his father’s conversation with his girlfriend, and according to what the brothers had heard the woman was forcing their father to end his marriage. Sehun figured that this was the reason why the fights were so constant these days, and he even had the perfect topic.

Hana.

Sehun gritted his teeth as he heard the baseless comments coming from downstairs and hugged Hana tighter. He ran his hand over her head slowly and whispered how it would all be over soon, and everything will be alright. Hana knew it was far from the truth.

“ I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU EVEN TOOK IN THAT USELESS LUMP! IT’S CLEAR WHY NO ONE ELSE TOOK HER IN! SHE’S A BURDEN!”

“DON’T YOU DARE CALL HER THAT! SHE DOENST NEED ANYONE ELSE AS LONG AS I’M ALIVE!”

“DO I HAVE TO WAIT FOR YOU TO DIE TO GET THAT OUT OF MY HOUSE?!”

“WATCH YOUR WORDS YOUNGMIN OR I SWEAR-“

“YOU SWEAR WHAT HUH?! WHAT?! WHAT WILL YOU DO?! YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING!”

“PROVOKE ME AND I’LL SHOW YOU WHAT I’LL DO!”

“PROVOKE YOU?! HAH! I DON’T NEED TO PROVOKE YOU! YOU’RE PSYCHOTIC ALREADY!”

“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! YOU TRAITOR! I KNOW WHAT ALL THIS IS ABOUT! YOU THINK I’M STUPID?! YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW?!”

“YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO CALL ME A TRAITOR?! IT’S YOU WHO BROUGHT AN OUTSIDER INTO OUR HOUSE AND DESTROYED OUR PEACE! WE WERE HAPPY BEFORE THAT LITTLE SKUNK CAME IN!”

Hana flinched with every word. Every syllable that left his mouth hit Hana hard and played with her already messed up brain. Sehun grabbed his brother’s red beats from the side table and put them on Hana and played a random song on high volume. He hugged her tighter. He felt disgusted, he was never close with his father to begin with, but this just made him despise the man even more. He didn’t want Hana to hear anymore of his vexed words. Downstairs, Junmi let out a bitter laugh before replying in a tone that was lower than before, but loud nonetheless.

“ No. We were ‘happy’ before you decided to go and cheat on me!”

Sehun’s eyes widened. He didn’t think she’d know about it, and even if she did, he never expected her to confront him so openly all of a sudden. Hana was still crying profusely in his arms and didn’t feel him stiffen. Sehun figured his father was probably in shock, because the next time he spoke his voice was lower, low enough that Sehun couldn’t make sense of his words. It grew dangerously quiet after that. Sehun couldn’t hear a thing, not even murmurs and that worried him.

‘What’s going on down there……’

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes and Sehun thought that maybe it was over, maybe the fight had ended. Hana was still crying, but not quivering like before. He heaved a sigh and made her look up. Her eyes were swollen red with tears constantly dripping and it pained Sehun to see his cousin in such a state.

‘What’s his problem? Hasn’t she suffered enough already?’

Sehun tried to smile and wiped her tears. Hana pulled the headphones away and looked at her cousin.

“Is…is- is it o-over?” she stuttered as she tried to talk through the lump in . She sniffed and Sehun patted her head to try to calm her down.

“I guess so. They’re quiet now so I think it’s alright.” Sehun sounded unsure but that was the only assurance he could provide her with. How could he confirm it to Hana if he wasn’t sure himself? Hana slowly nodded and looked towards the floor. She was hugging her legs and rested her chin on her knees. Sehun saw how she stared off into space before a fresh batch of tears spilled from her eyes. He felt miserable for his cousin. They had spent their entire childhood together and Sehun never imagined that a girl like Hana would ever be in such a state.  Sehun continued to pat her head as he hummed a melody. The melody he heard her playing with her father, the last song they composed together…..

The sudden sound of glass shattering downstairs alarmed them both, and the following screams had them staring at each other with fear. Sehun was scared, but Hana was frightened, and he knew that he had to be brave in front of Hana. His brother ordered him to take Hana up and take care of her while he stayed downstairs and made sure their father didn’t pull anything that would harm their mother.

Sehun could hear shouts from his brother, his mother, and grunts of his father. What scared him the most was the sound of hurrying footsteps that approached their bed room door, and Sehun was sure that it wasn’t his brother’s. Hana heard them too and pressed herself more into the corner out of fright. Sehun couldn’t think of anything but the idea that he had to protect his cousin from him crazy father. So he stood in front of her with shaky legs and sweaty palms, but the second the door swung open, and his furious father appeared, he put up the most stoic expression he could.Youngmin’s eyes zeroed on Hana who was shaking with fear. His view became blocked when Sehun shifted, and his eyes flew to his son.

“Sehun, move.” Youngmin ordered but to no avail.

“I said move.” He repeated in a firmer tone but Sehun remained mounted. Hana looked back and forth between father and son. If Sehun was going to get in trouble with his father for her, she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself. She wanted Sehun to move, she wanted to tell him to move, but she couldn’t. She froze, just like always. Youngmin took a step towards them and Sehun slightly flinched, what he would do if his father approached him was unknown to him.

“Be a good boy. Listen to your father, move aside.” Youngmin said as he slowly eliminated the gap between them. Sehun shook his head, “No. You’ll hurt her.” he stated, trying his best not to stutter and sound confident. Youngmin stood in front of his son and bore holes into his eyes. Sehun blinked several times, but didn’t look away. He tensed when his father brought his left hand to Sehun’s cheek and smiled.

“If you don’t move, I’ll hurt YOU.” He whispered and Sehun gulped. No reaction, and impatient Youngmin used his left hand to throw Sehun to the side. The poor boy didn’t have enough strength and fell to the right, missing the side table by little, and landed at the edge of the bed.

 Hana yelped when she felt Youngmin’s painful grip on her arm and was pulled upwards. Her legs were wobbling, and she could barely stand but Youngmin shook her wildly, not caring about her cries and pulled her along with him to the door.

“YOU ARE GOING OUT OF THIS HOUSE! RIGHT NOW! YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING BRAT! YOU LEECH! ITS YOU-“

“STOP IT.”

A hand grabbed Youngmin’s and shoved it away. Hana felt pressure on her wrist, firm but not tight, and was pulled behind someone. She didn’t have to look up to see who her savior was, she knew him all too well. As Hana continued crying, Youngmin breathed heavily in efforts to calm his nerves.

“What are you doing?” Youngmin asked, trying to keep his tone normal.

“Keep Hana out of this.”

“This is none of your business. Go take care of your mother.”

“Hana IS my business. And if you want to get to her you’ll have to get through me.”

“Go see if you mom’s alright, and don’t interfere.”

“Like you would care if mom’s fine or not. You know you almost assaulted her right? I can have you reported.”

“ She didn’t get hit, she just slipped. Now move.”

“I won’t.”

“Luhan. I said move.”

“And I said I won’t.”

Luhan stared directly into Youngmin’s eyes with unwavering confidence. Luhan was the eldest, and the smartest, he knew how the law worked. Luhan was nineteen, which made him a legal adult, and if Youngmin were to harm him in any way, he won’t hesitate to report his own father.

Sehun came running with a red bump on his forehead and saw his cousin behind his brother. He felt a wave of relief after seeing Luhan and walked towards Hana to envelope her into a hug. While Sehun shushed her, Youngmin clicked his tongue and backed off. Luhan slightly smirked as he saw his father walk back and called out his brother.

“Sehun, help Hana pack our stuff. We and mom are leaving.” Luhan ordered and Sehun couldn’t believe his ears. Where they going to go? After all what happened tonight, Sehun definitely found it difficult to remain in the house, but to pack up so suddenly and leave? However, Sehun nodded and helped Hana walk back into the room.

Once the door of their room was closed, and once Luhan knew Sehun and Hana were out of earshot, he spoke.

“I never imagined you’d fall low enough to say all that bull about Hana. I seriously thought you’d have enough decency to at least respect the fact that she just lost her family. But I was wrong, extremely wrong…. .You wanted mom to leave. You wanted to piss her off enough so she’d be willing to file a divorce right? Well guess what, wish granted. From this day onwards, we’re out of your pathetic life.” Luhan spoke as he was speaking to an enemy rather than his own father. But the things that went on in their house for years, and all the times he had to stand up in his mother’s defense made him change his view about his father.

“Congratulations Youngmin. You can finally marry that home wrecker.” Luhan finished with a smile before he walked away towards their parent’s room to help his mom pack. Youngmin heaved a sigh and punched the wall out of frustration. He wanted Junmi out of his life, not his sons. But by the looks of it, he was going to lose them both. Luhan’s behavior bothered him. His hostility towards his father angered him.

‘How can that brat talk to me like that?! His own father?!’

Youngmin wasn’t going to let a nineteen year old beat him down.

-

Hana let a tear fall as she stared at Sehun after two whole years. She remembered that night clearly. How they got hurt because of her, how their family fell apart. Until today, Hana thought it was her fault their family divided. She thought it was all because Junmi took her in that the arguments started which eventually led to this. 

Hana remembered Luhan’s protests when Youngmin held Sehun back to stay with him. Sehun was underage, and the authorities would not let an underage child stay with an alcoholic. Hana also remembered how Luhan had to stay back to take care of his brother, and to make sure that Youngmin wouldn’t harm a hair on him.

That was the last time Hana saw or heard from them. But now, Sehun was standing in front of her, and if Sehun was here, then it meant Luhan would be there too. Hana couldn’t be happier, but the guilt of ruining their family ate her.

Lay still hadn’t recovered from the new piece of information, neither had the others, except Jongdae. He was just wondering what the big deal was, and why they were acting like a bunch of third rate actors in a melodrama.

“So….you’re her cousin? That’s…nice…” Jongdae spoke in order to break the silence, but since nobody bothered to pick up the conversation, he rolled his eyes and sat back down.

“O lookie! The food’s here!” he exclaimed as the waitress came towards their table and it instantly grabbed Kai’s attention.

“How could you guys order without me?!” Kai exclaimed and Kyungsoo finally stopped staring at Sehun.

“You and ‘Mr.Cousin’ here were late and we were hungry. Now move over and let me eat.”

“ That doesn’t mean you can order without me!” Kai whined and Baekhyun scoffed.

“Actually, it does.”

“But-!”

“Dude you can just order now you know?” Sehun suggested and Kai suddenly realized that yes, he could.

“Yea…you’re right! I’ll go order for us. What do you want?” Kai asked Sehun as he handed him the menu. Lay made Hana sit down on her previous seat. They were curious about Sehun. Hana had never mentioned any cousins before, and as far as they knew, she and Junmi lived alone together. Lay remembered Junmi mentioning that she was Hana’s only relative; she didn’t see the point of mentioning others as they didn’t even bother to contact her the past years. But Sehun was definitely familiar to her; Lay could see it in her eyes. He wondered if her twinkled like this when she saw him.

Sehun handed Kai back the menu and shook his head.

“Change of plans. Me and Hana are gonna eat at home. Right Hana?” Sehun smiled and looked at her. He tilted his head, and Hana smiled because he used to do that every time he wanted somebody to do something for him. She immediately nodded, but then remembered that she wasn’t alone, and suddenly leaving like this would be rude. Kyungsoo saw her sudden change in expression and nudged her. He motioned her to go, and the others said it would be fine if she left earlier than the others. Kai took over Hana’s plate, happy that he won’t have to order now and waved goodbye.

Sehun and Hana walked out together, and Lay’s shoulders slightly slumped. He couldn’t spend much time with her today. Jongdae noticed his friend’s crestfallen expression and took a spoonful of his chicken alfredo pasta.

“Don’t worry they’re cousins. Nothings gonna happen.” Jongdae said between bites. Lay looked towards his friend, so did Kai with pasta hanging from his mouth. Kyungsoo tsk’d his cousin and Baekhyun remained quiet because he saw where this was going.

“What?”

“Yeah, I mean you don’t have to look like a puppy just because your girlfriend went off with her cousin.” Jongdae stated casually and shrugged. Baekhyun found a blushing Lay completely hilarious but he held his laughter. Kyungsoo was suddenly more interested in their conversation than his cousin’s embarrassing table manners and even Kai had gulped down his pasta to listen more carefully.

“She’s….not my girlfriend….” Lay trailed off and Jongdae looked up from his plate.

“Not my girlfriend yet. you forgot the ‘yet’ my friend.” He said as a matter of fact and continued with his plate.

“Oh but that’s not possible,” Kai supplied with a mouthful of pasta, “he says he doesn’t like her.”

Jongdae dropped his fork and stared at Kai who nodded with closed eyes, chewing all the while, before he stared incredulously at Lay.

“He’s kidding right?” Jongdae asked in hopes to confirm his denial but Lay shook his head.

“I don’t like her that way.”

“Are you stupid?” Jongdae asked his friend very seriously. Lay was taken aback by the question but Jongdae beat him before he could answer.

“I saw you guys together just today and I thought you were dating or something. I was gonna kick your later for not telling me you got a girlfriend but dude, I think I still need to kick your but this time for a whole different reason.”

Baekhyun patted Jongdae’s arm with a sympathetic shake which Jongdae copied.

“Well, it’s clear that you like her.” he stated for one last time before they all dropped the topic. All except Lay. He pondered over his friend’s words. Did he like her that way? Or is it all just platonic? He wondered as he dipped his fry into the ketchup and moved it around.