Silent tears trailed down Hana’s cheek. She wondered how she got to this point, and after remembering, she cried harder. Why was it so hard to hate the person who ruined your friendship? Kyungsoo and Baekhyun would be angry if they found out. And Sehun… Well, she didn’t want to imagine his disappointment. But what could she do? The circumstances required it. Today after school, Hana had received a note. It flew out of her locker. It asked her to come outside, behind the school building. Suspicious and confused, Hana had crumpled the note. Before she could completely discard the thought, she saw Jaekyung in the hallway, looking right at her. Hana stepped back. He looked…disoriented. His hair were a mess, his eyes were blood shot with eye bags, bruises all over his face.

He pointed at her hands and Hana saw the note. She looked back, and then she understood. But was it wise to go talk to him? The person who contributed to making her life a living hell? But could she ignore it? No, she didn’t think she could. She cursed her conscience for that. His behavior since the past few days had been odd, Sehun and the others had noticed that too. But would it be a smart choice to meet this guy, all alone?

After school, Hana ignore the voice in her head.

After school, Hana walked away.

Or at least she planned to.

She was picking up her books from the locker when Sehun called, telling her they’d be waiting for her at the gate. Before she could even attend the call, a hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her along. Hana saw Jaekyung’s back and struggled with all her might so he’d let go or loosen his grip to the least. But he didn’t. Instead, he gave her a forlorn gaze. Hana didn’t stop resisting until he hear him speak.

“Please, I swear I won’t do anything. I just need you to hear me out.”

Maybe it was the way his voice broke, or the desperate plea in his eyes that made him look so vulnerable, that made Hana submit. She texted Sehun, telling him she’d be going to the library and couldn’t attend the call since the phone was on silent. Hana wondered why she agreed to talk to him as he pulled her toward one of the classrooms at the corner of the building. Jaekyung closed the door and Hana took the opportunity to pull her arm away.

“What?” she asked immediately, not wanting to spend more time than necessary in his company.

He chuckled bitterly, “Straight to the point, as always.”

Hana shifted uncomfortably, refusing to meet gazes. She stared at his feet, not only because she didn’t want to look at his face, but also so she knew how far he was from her. Reading her demeanor, Jaekyung sighed.

“I know what I did was wrong. I also know, that asking for your forgiveness may be useless. But Hana, I’m sorry.”

Hana was surprised. His voice was weary and broken…he sounded so sincere. She shifted her gaze from her shoes to his knees. Was this really happening?

“Look, I realize now, okay? I realize everything. I know how stupid I was when I played Yuri like that and I know how much I’ve hurt you. You two were best friends and I shouldn’t have ruined that. I’m so sorry,” his voice broke at the end.

Hana looked up reflexively in alarm and saw him looking conflicted. She wondered…

“What happened to you?”

He gave her a sad smile and said, “Karma.”

Before she could ask, he explained.

“There’s this girl, her name’s Kim. I fell for her. Hard. It was different and I really hoped she’d like me just the way I liked her.”

His hands clenched into fists, “She used me. I found out a few days ago. See these bruises?”, he gestured toward his face,” I got them because I got into a fight with the guy she liked.”

Hana bit her lip, she couldn’t imagine this happening to herself. A part of her would shatter if she were to find out that Lay liked someone else. Her empathic self made her feel sad for him.

“I asked why she did what she did. But then I remembered, what authority do I have to ask that? What authority do I have when I’ve done the exact same thing to you and Yuri? Since then, the guilt’s been eating me alive. I can’t even bring myself to look at you.”

He shook his head and looked her straight in the eyes, “Hana, I’m sorry. Trust me, I really am. I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if you two didn’t forgive me.”

Hana looked for words, could she honestly forgive him? Even after all he did?

“Yuri…”

“I’ll talk to her after I’ve earned your forgiveness. I can’t face her after what I’ve done but may be, may be if I know I’ve been forgiven by you, I’d feel more confident.”

Hana didn’t know what to do. A part of her reminded her of all the pain and misery he caused. Reminded her of the best friend he took from her when she needed her the most. But then a part of her said that it was time to let go and move on. If she wanted to live a peaceful life, she’d need to make peace with her past.

“Hana, please?”

“Alright, I forgive you.”

“You don’t mean that,” he said and Hana’s brows scrunched.

“I do.”

“I know you’re just saying it so I’ll shut up.”

“Jaekyung, I’m not. I do forgive you. You realize your mistake and you’ve been through enough.”

He was still shaking, “So you won’t ignore me in the corridors? And be less hostile in classes.”

“That-that…”, Hana didn’t know if she could promise that.

“See,” he smiled bitterly,” you didn’t forgive me.”

“But I did!”

“Then can we be normal? If not friends, then normal school mates? At least give me that, Hana. If you keep ignoring me I’ll think you still haven’t forgiven me.”

She stared at his shoes for a long while. Was she ready for this? Maybe she wasn’t, but she could try…

“Fine, I won’t ignore you. But-“, she interjected as she saw him approach, “don’t expect more from me. At least not at this point.”

She had forgiven him, but the tears wouldn’t stop after she stepped into her room. She didn’t even know why she cried. Maybe they were the memories that were recalled by today’s incident; the difficult days, the fight.  Hana wiped the last tear as it crossed her cheek and grabbed her blinking phone.

Jaekyung: thank you so much Hana :) I hope we continue meeting...

She threw her phone back. Lying on her back on her bed room floor was relaxing. Sadly, she had to get up and get ready. It was the first weekday and the boys had decided to practice at Hana’s house. Technically, Kyungsoo had announced that they’d practice at Hana’s house without anyone’s consent. They didn’t mind though. Too drained to get up, Hana remained on the floor until Sehun knocked on her door.

“Are you dead in there? Kyungsoo’s early and he says he’ll stab me if I don’t get you down.”

Hana scoffed,” Kyungsoo wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Hana, this is the same guy who had Chanyeol in a head lock for five minutes straight,” Sehun called through the door.

“I’ll be right down!” she called and ran to her wardrobe. She threw on the first things she saw: a white shirt, a grey cardigan, and light brown cargo pants. Looking in the mirror she nodded, Luhan’s fashion sense wasn’t bad.

Running down she saw Kyungsoo cutting fruits and Sehun standing next to him. His posture was strangely rigid and his eyes followed Kyungsoo’s hands. Hana cleared and the big eyed boy dropped the apple he was peeling and greeted her with a wide smile.

“Finally! You’re down!”

“Sehun said it was urgent so…” she glanced at her cousin who had visibly relaxed and was now putting away the knife.

“I came early because there were a few things I needed to check with you about the timing,” Kyungsoo explained and Hana nodded.

“Can we use the piano?” he asked and Hana nodded.

“Sehun, could you drag the piano out from the store, please?”

Sehun, who was stuffing his face with the half peeled apple, looked at his cousin.

“Why me?”

“Because you’re my brother and you love me?”

Sehun raised a brow, but he didn’t move until Kyungsoo turned to look at him.

“I’ll go get it.”

They watched him zoom by and Hana suppressed a chuckle.

“He’s so nice,” Kyungsoo smiled as he watched Sehun disappear out of the TV room,” Kai never listens to me that well.”

Hana smiled a little, if only he knew…

Kyungsoo looked back at her and gave her a look of concern, “You okay, by the way?”

“Me?” Hana asked confused,” Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

He shrugged, “Your nose is pink. So I thought maybe…” he shrugged again.

Hana genuinely smiled at his concern and shook her head, “I’m fine. Really.”

“If you say so,” he said, giving her a small smile. His brows suddenly shot up as he remembered, “Oh! I have to send you a copy of Yeol’s rap right? I’ll send it now.”

He sent her the document and Hana excused herself, her phone was still in her room.  Her phone had five messages.

Jaekyung: I will talk to Yuri tomorrow, I promise.

Thank you Hana. I can’t tell you how happy I’am about today.

Biting her lip, Hana contemplated. Should she reply? She was thinking otherwise, but then she recalled what happened. Maybe this was the first step to moving on…

Hana: me too

Yeap. That’s good enough. They weren’t smiley frank yet.

The other texts made her happy. Immensely happy.

Lay: HANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I MISS YOU T-T

SO MUCH DX

She giggled as she imagined his pouting face. The scrunched nose and the twisted mouth. Ah, she missed him too.

Hana: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

That’s sad

Since I don’t miss you :)

At all :)

She tucked the phone in her pocket and ran downstairs.  Sehun was setting the piano in a corner and Kyungsoo was busy with his phone.

“Did you get it?” he asked once she was in front of him.

Hana pulled out her phone, “Yeap.”

“Turn on your Bluetooth, I’ll send it now.”

While waiting, her phone buzzed.

Lay: how…how could you ._.

You broke senpai’s heart ):

Hana shook her head.

Hana: Senpai can handle it

Lay: Senpai  take revenge ):<

Hana: Senpai can try

Her phone then beeped with Kyungsoo’s file and Hana went over it. Chanyeol had done well on the rap, she would be lying is she said she wasn’t proud. All she had to do now was tweak the notes just a little to make them fit perfectly with his voice. The doorbell rang as she helped Kyungsoo with his warm ups. Too many sounds entered at the same time.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol were singing two different songs at the same time at the top of their lungs. All Hana could hear of Jongdae was his uncontrollable laughter. Kai on the other hand, had his fingers stuffed in his ears and shouted, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU LA LA”, over and over again. Hana missed that one person who wasn’t there. She could imagine him coming in last and laughing at his friends.

But he wasn’t there, and despite her text, she missed him a lot.

“These guys are not my friends,” Kai grumbled and dropped next to Hana. Baekhyun grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up, shoved him aside and sat next to her instead. Everyone fell in some space and Hana looked around, unable to ignore the tinge she felt of someone’s absence. Before Chanyeol could start a random, unwanted topic, Kyungsoo stood up and announced the official start of their practice. Baekhyun spoke after they had sung the entire song twice.

“That was…AWESOME!”

“YES!” Kyungsoo excitedly agreed, “Hana your piano…I can cry. I AM SO PROUD RIGHT NOW.”

“Wish Lay was here though,” Kai mumbled,” no guitar. Then the song would be hundred percent complete.”

Hana smiled at Kai who looked at her. He flashed her a smile back while Jongdae next to him tilted his head.

“Don’t you think we should distribute the lines to three people instead of two? You think Lay would be up for it?” he asked, and then looked at Hana questioningly.

Hana shrugged, “That’d be awesome but, not sure if he’d agree.”

Jongdae inhaled deeply. Sehun pursed his lips, “What if you talk to him?”

“Me?” Hana pointed to herself. Chanyeol over enthusiastically nodded, “He might listen to you!”

Hana shifted in her seat; “I’m not sure guys…” she trailed off as she remembered what he had told her that day at the balcony.

“You can try! He sang on your da-OOF!” Kai doubled over and Kyungsoo smiled a little too innocently at Hana as he covered his cousin’s mouth.

“What he means is, Lay overcame his stage fright once, so maybe he could do it again if he has special support?”

Hana stared at all of them one by one. They all looked at her with expectant eyes…she couldn’t say no to those.

“I’ll try. No promises though,” she added once she saw them all cheer.

Kyungsoo clapped his hands, “ONCE MORE. FROM THE TOP!”

They were in the middle of the song when the bell rang and since Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, and Hana couldn’t break out of the song, and Kai was too lazy to even sit properly, and even Jongdae was inside the kitchen, Sehun had to attend the door.

“Yo guys!” Luhan cheered as he walked in. They all smiled and nodded in his direction before the older showed them a thumbs up and ran upstairs. Kyungsoo had deemed a break appropriate after they had sung the song almost four more times.

“I’m hungry. Practicing is too much work,” Kai groaned. Baekhyun waked his head, earning a yelp and a scowl from Kai.

“You’re not the one burning his vocal cords,” Baekhyun muttered and made his way to the kitchen. Kyungsoo followed, saying he’d make coffee for everyone. The warmth would help their throats.

“I’m hungry,” Chanyeol spoke.

Sehun and Kai perked up at the same time, “PIZZA!”

Hana, who was massaging her hands, threw over the phone to her cousin who ran upstairs to ask his cousin for his choice of flavor. By the time he was down, he had just placed the order with a grin on his face.

“I can almost smell the cheese,” he said dreamily. Hana grinned and went to the kitchen. Kyungsoo was standing beside the kettle and fiddling with his phone whereas Baekhyun was going through the cupboards.

“Baek, looking for something?”

He turned around looking rather desperate, “I’M HUNGRY.”

“Sehun just ordered pizza,” Kyungsoo supplied as he typed away on his phone.

Hana walked around Kyungsoo and grabbed eight mugs for the coffee. Baekhyun looked confused, “How do you know that?”

“Because I heard him?”

“How come I didn’t?”

Kyungsoo stopped typing and turned to look at his friend, “How would I know?”

Hana glanced at the two and couldn’t help but smile. Baekhyun shook his head in disbelief and went outside while Kyungsoo helped make coffee.

“How’s your throat?” she asked as she grabbed the pot with sugar.

Kyungsoo tilted his head, “Better. Coffee’s going to help ease the pain a little.”

“Don’t you think you’re pushing yourself too hard?”

Hana’s concern made him look at her. He saw her troubled expression and gave her an assuring smile, “I’m fine Hana. Everyone’s trying just as hard. It’s not just me.”

Hana shook her head, “No. No, not as hard as you. You practice at home too and you’ve been pushing your vocals with the notes. What’s up?”

Kyungsoo poured the coffee into mugs, not saying anything. Hana added the sugar and milk; she remembered all their preferences.

“I don’t want to screw up,” he finally spoke and Hana looked up, “ I’ve been having these nightmares where we’re all standing on stage, all dressed up and looking pretty. You’re playing the piano but there’s something wrong with you. Lay isn’t there. And Baekhyun and Chanyeol are beside me. We start singing and the audience starts laughing at us. And they’re throwing tomatoes and everyone suddenly disappears. Only me and the laughing audience remain…” he trailed off and shuddered. Hana frowned, Kyungsoo had been having this nightmare and none of them knew.

“You can say I don’t want it to come true. The humiliation… you can’t even begin to imagine it.”

“Since when have you been having it?”

Kyungsoo started stirring one of the cups, “Since Lay left.”

Two months and now is when he tells her. Well, she can’t blame him. Nightmares are often personal. She hadn’t shared hers for two years…

“So, you’ve been practicing extra hard…so your nightmare wouldn’t come true?”

Sighing, he nodded. Hana watched the white swirls dissolve in the black liquid.

“Well, I can guarantee that won’t happen. Wanna know why?” she asked. Kyungsoo reluctantly nodded but wouldn’t look at her. She wondered why.

“Because you’re Do Kyungsoo, and you’re one of the people with the voices I have ever heard. “

Kyungsoo scoffed,” Yeah, sure.”

“But it’s true! And you’ve been practicing so hard for this, you won’t mess up,” she tried convincing but it didn’t seem to work much. He still wouldn’t look at her.

“You’ll have all of us with you. Lay, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, me. Your parents and Kai will be in the audience along with Sehun and the others. They’ll all be there to support you. And no one will leave you alone on stage, I promise. At least I won’t.”

Finally, Kyungsoo looked at her. She didn’t want to imagine how bad the nightmare was because Hana saw genuine fright in Kyungsoo’s eyes.

“Promise? You won’t leave me alone there, right?”

“Kyungsoo, I wouldn’t leave you alone anywhere. I promise.”

Hana gave him a sincere smile. He needs to know she wasn’t just saying it.

“And besides, if someone DOES boo at us, Luhan and Sehun can kick their butts.”

At this Kyungsoo laughed and Hana finally saw that heart shaped smile that made her feel welcomed to their group. He shook his head and looked up.

“Aah, this is embarrassing.”

“What?”

Kyungsoo shook his head again, “Sharing my nightmare with you was hard…I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for you. To tell us everything…”

Hana held up her shoulders,” Yeah, it was. But I had to, didn’t I?”

“Why didn’t you tell us before though?”

She briefly clasped her lips, considering the best ways she could explain.

“I had this…strong feeling of rejection. You know what happened. I couldn’t bring myself to tell it to someone yet at the same time, I desperately wanted someone to listen.”

“You still haven’t told Lay, right?”

Hana shook her head,” I’m not sure how I’ll tell him.”

“Why not?”

Hana opened to speak but then immediately closed it. The coffees were getting cold but Kyungsoo figured the guys wouldn’t mind, this was more important. Hana stared at the cup in her hand.

“I’m scared,” she finally said and Kyungsoo raised a brow.

“Of what?”

Hana bit her lip, “I don’t know, Kyungsoo. With Baekhyun, I didn’t have a choice. Aunt Junmi was the one who did all the talking. And because Baekhyun had told you most of it, telling you two the rest wasn’t as difficult as I thought. But with Lay… thinking about it makes me terrified.”

“Hana, Lay won’t-“

“I know he won’t. I know he’d never. But I- no matter how much I tell myself that, the fear won’t die down. And I don’t even know why. Maybe it’s because I’m half crazy or just simply paranoid but, it scares me.”

Kyungsoo inhaled deeply, not sure what to say. He understood Hana to some extent, his recent nightmare provided experience.

“It’ll be okay,” he patted her shoulder, “I assure you, that if Lay reacts in a stupid way, I will personally kick his .”

Hana broke into a smile and the little sparkle that Kyungsoo saw momentarily leave returned.

“That makes me feel better.”

They laughed and Kai trudged into the kitchen, his eyes lazy and posture hunched.

“Are you guys making coffee or manufacturing it?”

Kyungsoo smiled at his grumpy cousin who narrowed his eyes at him. Hana grabbed a tray, and before Kai could protest how they were taking too long, Kyungsoo shoved the tray into his hands and pushed him out.

“IT’S HERE!” Shouted Jongdae and Chanyeol looked around expectantly.

“THE PIZZA?!”

“Er…no,” Baekhyun gave his cousin a dull gaze,” the coffee.”

Chanyeol deflated with an “Oh”, and grabbed the mug Hana was giving him.

“How do you remember how much of what to put in each of our cups?” Jongdae asked sipping on his drink. Hana took her cup and settled between Sehun and Baekhyun.

“I just do.”

“But how?”

“Because she’s Hanster and she’s awesome like that. Ain’t I right Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun looked to his said friend who nodded with confidence. Hana patted her burning cheek with her hand, “ Guys, stop. I think I’m blushing.”

“What’s taking the pizza so long…” Kai whined and the next second, the bell rang.

“Couldn’t you say that sooner?” Chanyeol said to Kai who looked as happy as a five year old with new toys.

“Hana, go get it.”

Without a second thought, she put back her mug and left. It left Kai in awe because if Kyungsoo had ever said that to Kai, he’d probably tell the other to get it himself. Hana grabbed the money that Sehun had left on the table next to the sofa and went to the door.

“Who is it?” Hana asked through the closed door.

“Pizza delivery,” said a hoarse voice.

Jongdae came from the back, “Pizza?” he asked.

Hana turned,”Pizza.”

“GUYS, IT’S THE PIZZA!” Jongdae announced and the others started cheering. Hana shook her head at their excitement and opened the door.

“Here’s the bill and keep the change,” she said as she grabbed the boxes and closed the door.

“IT’S HERE!” She cheered and turned. The six staring figures that suddenly stood behind her startled her to a stop. Even Luhan, she saw, was peeking from the staircase.

“What’s wrong…” she trailed as she stared her friends. Kai, with his phone in his hand, started laughing. Then, it hit her. The delivery guy had a dimple. A very familiar, endearing dimple.

It hit her hard.

She shoved the boxes into Baekhyun’s hands and re-opened the door, only to slam it shut the second time. She backed up with her hands cupping . This couldn’t be…

“That’s a reaction you don’t see every day,” Chanyeol mumbled. Hana seemed to have froze so Sehun took the lead and opened the door.

Lay was still blinking from the shock that the girl he had been dying to see had one, failed to recognize him, and two, slammed the door on his face…twice. Sehun opened the door and pulled him in while everyone else screamed “SURPRISE” in unison. He could see Hana staring at him with wide, surprised eyes. She didn’t move from her place or even remove her hands as everyone around her completely ignored Lay and attacked the pizza.

“Hi,” he smiled. Hana still didn’t move.

“I’m here!” he beamed and Hana removed her hands. was still hanging but it soon formed a smile. He was about to go in for a hug when suddenly, a body collapsed on his.

“BRO, I MISSED YOU SO MUCH,” Jongdae screamed and hugged him tight. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo joined and later so did the other boys. Lay didn’t understand why they were so excited to see him, they literally saw him four hours ago. Unlatching himself from the bodies that had suffocated him, he finally thought he could properly meet Hana. She walked excitedly with her arms out but Lay wasn’t the one to receive that hug.

Sehun laughed at Lay’s face when he saw Luhan had taken his rightful hug. However, the boy let it go and smiled. Being this close to all of his friends was enough for him. They all crashed in the TV room with rekindled spirits and new found energy. Luhan escaped back to his room after grabbing two slices, claiming that the life of a lawyer wasn’t as easy as it seemed. Lay sat next to Hana with Chanyeol on her other side.

“I missed you,” she said once the others were busy talking.

“Did you? I thought you said you didn’t?” he raised a brow and Hana shook her head.

“Noooo, you got it all wrong! It’s because I didn’t want you to feel bad for making me miss you that I said I didn’t miss you.”

Lay raised his brows, “What?”

“Yeap.”

“What have they done to you? Did Kai mess with your head while I was gone?” Lay asked as he grabbed her head and inspected it. Laughing, Hana grabbed his hands and pulled them away.

“They didn’t do anything, this is a Hana original reply,” she said with a proud look and Lay laughed.

He missed her more than he thought.

“Since the entire crew is here now, shall we practice?” Kyungsoo rose and the others groaned.

“C’mon dude! Hana just met Lay, let’s chill for a while longer so they can catch up,” Chanyeol reasoned before stuffing his mouth with another slice. Kyungsoo sighed and sat back down.

“Oh! By the way, when did you arrive?” Hana asked shifting to get a better look at Lay.

“A day ago,” he raised a finger. “I was here when you guys went over to Baekhyun’s. I was so jealous, you have no idea. And it didn’t help that Kai kept sending me videos.” At the last bit, he threw a pillow at Kai who expertly dodged it and stuck his tongue out.

Hana rested her head on his shoulder, “I can’t believe you guys didn’t tell me.”

“It was supposed to be a surprise!” Baekhyun chimed. Sehun’s laughter caught attention, “Yeah but, Hana’s reaction was priceless.”

He clutched his stomach and continued laughing, his eyes completely disappeared as he did so. Kai next to him laughed just as hard whereas Chanyeol and Baekhyun went as far as imitating the whole thing. Hana wondered if Jongdae was even breathing as he laughed and Sehun tried to protect himself with all the slaps he received from the laughing Kai.

Lay nudged Hana and nodded toward Kyungsoo. He was laughing just as much as the others, but Hana could see his troubled expression. She abruptly stood up.

“Alright! We should practice,” she announced and pulled Lay up by the arm. The others groaned and Kyungsoo looked at her with wide eyes.

“But…Lay just came. Don’t you want to catch up or something?”

Hana smiled, “We can catch up later. Practice is important.”

Kyungsoo smiled thankfully and got up, the others followed suit. But before they could start practicing, Hana pulled Kyungsoo to the side.

“Don’t push it,” she warned and he nodded.

“I won’t.”

-

It was already dark by the time they all left. Lay stayed longer than everyone else and had dinner with Junmi who was more than happy to see him back. He and Hana were now sitting in the TV lounge again. The room that was noisy before was quiet and peaceful now. They sat side by side with her head resting on his shoulder and he played with the ends of her hair.

“It was that bad?” Hana asked and she stared at the forgotten bowl of popcorn on the table.

“Yeah, the first week I couldn’t even sleep because of all the aching muscles.”

She frowned,” Why didn’t you tell me then? I remember you being all happy since the start of your training.”

“I was happy. I just didn’t want to make you worry. Muscle pain comes with these sorts of trainings,” he shrugged and Hana looked at him. She poked his head hard.

“OW!”

Hana giggled and reset her head on his shoulder. She missed this, the whole feeling of it. The scent, the fluffiness of his hair, the dimple, everything. She was tracing random patterns on his hands when her phone buzzed. Thinking it’d be one of their friends, she unlocked the screen. However, the name on the screen made her sit up abruptly.

“Hana, you okay?” Lay asked concerned. Hana looked as if she was panicking and he wondered what made he be that way all of a sudden.

On her phone was a text from Jaekyung, asking her what she was doing. For some reason, Hana felt scared. She felt scared of showing it to Lay. She wasn’t an idiot; she knew Lay knew about Jaekyung. But honestly, who didn’t? He was a renowned player. She didn’t want to imagine his reaction. Telling Lay about Jaekyung would mean telling him everything…and she needed a bit more time.

“What’s up?” he asked with furrowed brows. Hana shook her head and pulled a smile.

“Nothing, just one of those service messages.”

She tucked her phone back into her pocket and sat back. Lay still had his brows furrowed but went with her reason.

“And what did little precious Hana do when I wasn’t around?”

“Oh, I had fun.”

“You did?” he raised a brow.

“Yeap. A lot of fun. Didn’t miss you. At all.”

Lay sat up straight, a playful smile in place. “But you said you missed me before.”

“I was lying. You know, to make you feel better.”

Lay stared. His dimple flashing and Hana resisted her urge to pinch his cheek. His smile slowly turned to a smirk. He hardly ever smirks.

“I still have to take revenge, by the way.”

Hana’s brows shot up,” I thought you weren’t serious.”

“But I was,” he inched closer and Hana backed away. His hands were out and his fingers danced. Hana eyed them warily.

“Okay, honestly?”

“Yeah.”

“What are you, five?”

He didn’t reply and continued to inch closer with Hana backing away equally. No way was she going to let him close enough. No.Way. So as she backed away and he inched closer, Hana reached the end of the couch without a clue that she was going to fall off the next second. She slipped off the edge and Lay grabbed her wrist before she fell. Her relief was short lived because the next thing she felt after the soft cushion was fingers poking her sides. Squeals and laughter erupted.

So loud that Sehun, who swore that he wouldn’t disturb the two, ran out to see what was going on. His view was of Hana rolling on the couch as she tried to shield herself of Lay’s merciless (but pretty) hands. He stood for a good thirteen seconds wondering, should I help her? Or should I pretend I never came here? He didn’t have to decide himself because Hana had spotted her cousin through her teary eyes and choked out a plea of help. Lay protested, telling him not to interfere. Sehun nodded and turned to leave. But then he heard Hana call him again and Lay laugh in triumph because he thought the boy had actually left.

 Hana had asked for help, and Sehun being Sehun, couldn’t possibly ignore that. Sehun could either tell Lay to simply stop, or, he could hold the boy’s hands long enough to allow his cousin to escape. But those were the simple ways. Simple doesn’t do with Sehun. So instead of choosing the most common and humane ways, Sehun decided it was time to put the fact Kai had told him to use.

So Sehun sneaked up behind Lay who was too absorbed in his girlfriend and her laughter to notice. He leaned in enough so that he wouldn’t be hit by the moving boy but still close enough to see his neck. Sehun saw, and then Sehun blowed. Lay’s yelp was as unexpected as Sehun’s roaring laughter. Hana, who one would think had had enough of laughing, laughed at his reaction. Seeing Lay’s confused state, Hana grabbed the opportunity.

“Sehun! Quick! Hold him!”

And theboy obeyed. Lay looked at Sehun who had grabbed his left arm and then at Hana who was latched to his right with wide, terror filled eyes. The mischief in theirs was obvious. He was screwed. They blowed, at the same time on either sides of his neck and Lay wanted to cry because it tickled so bad. He was screaming and shouting how they should stop. But they didn’t. Only occasionally one of them would pause to laugh but that was as short lived. His face was red, so was his neck, but they didn’t stop. Not until Luhan grabbed and pulled them away. Hana collapsed on the couch laughing and Sehun was lying face first on the floor because it was that hilarious. Lay, red face and wide eyes had his hands on his neck as he stared at nothing in particular, consumed by shock.

Luhan, with amusement coloring his face after looking at Lay’s expression, tried to glare at his siblings but failed. He felt sorry for not feeling sorry for Lay. But again, he was the older and he had to take control of the situation.

“Why the hell are you guys so noisy? It’s 11 fricking p.m.!” Luhan shouted and Hana stopped laughing. It was 11 already. Lay too had broken out of his shock and glanced at the watch on the wall. When he looked at Hana, she expected to see annoyance or maybe a bit of anger in them, but the only thing she saw were soft orbs with a tinge of regret.

“I should go now.”

“Yeah…” said Luhan but then realized that it probably sounded wrong and hastily added,” but only because you know, it’s late. We like you so yeah. Only because it’s late.”

Lay smiled and got up, pulling Hana after he had and Sehun helped himself up. Lay’s neck was still red when he said their goodbyes. He pecked her forehead and ruffled her hair before he left. Hana, still smiling, turned to her cousins. Sehun was leaning against the wall, listening to Luhan and nodding to his every word. As she walked toward them, Luhan moved his attention to her.

“Could you sit down for a second? I need to talk to you.”

Luhan said and bolted to his room. Hana looked at Sehun speculatively and the other shrugged, though he clearly knew what his brother wanted to say.

 “Thanks for saving me,” Hana said as they sat on the couch.

“And torturing your boyfriend? Anytime man.”

Hana laughed,” How did you know about the neck though?”

“Kai has a list of ways to torture people.”

“List?”

“Literal list, yes.”

“Wow…”

“I know.”
 

They fist bumped and laughed lightly. Luhan came back with a file, wearing glasses he didn’t really need, and a serious expression. Sehun sat up straight and Hana grew serious.

“What’s going on?”

“This idiot here,” he pointed at Sehun,” was supposed to give this to you days ago. Never mind, now I get to clear this myself. But, before I tell you, there’s something I need to ask first.”

Hana shifted, “Yes?”

Hana glanced at Sehun. He remained silent, his eyes trailed on the floor and his fingers laced. His lips were pursed and expression blank, Hana grew worried.

“You know you’re family, right?”

Hana nodded.

“And you know we love you just like a sister. To me, you’re no different than what Sehun is to me. I love you both equally if not more.”

Fear slowly crept up Hana’s spine for reasons she wasn’t entirely sure of.

“Mom loves you the same. In fact, I think she favors you more than she favors us at times,” he paused as he focused on Hana’s expression.

Hana had this mask she’d always put up whenever she had to hide what she was feeling. She wouldn’t blink, wouldn’t twitch, and wouldn’t move at all. Her face would remain emotionless and the other would never know what she was thinking or feeling. Luhan feared the times she put it up, because then no one knew what was going on with her, and no one would be able to help her if she needed it. The last time Luhan saw it was the day she left with his mother. She had her mask on the table, but it crumbled as soon as she entered her room. Sehun, who ran to her room to comfort her, had found her crying. He hadn’t seen her after that. He was glad, to see that Hana had abandoned it completely.

He was relieved, when he saw confusion painted on Hana’s face instead of a blank slate.

“We’re your brothers, right?”

Despite her confusion, she nodded without hesitance.

Luhan nodded, “Okay. Hana, what I’m about to ask you now is a pretty big deal. You have to think this through before you make your decision.”

“What decision?” she asked, her voice slightly panicked.

Luhan gave her a comforting smile and Sehun patted her head with the same expression.

“It’s nothing scary, honest.”

Luhan put the file he was holding on the table and pushed it toward Hana. He asked her to open it, her eyes widened when they landed on the title.

“Adoption papers?”

Luhan nodded,” Hana, we take you as our own sister and we love just as much. This is to only make things official.”

She stared at him wide eyed and mouth agape. How is she supposed to respond to this…

“I know this is huge, you can take your time-“

“Okay.”

Luhan blinked, “What?”

“Where do I sign?” she asked as she picked up the pen that was stuck between the file binding.

“Hana, wait!” Luhan called and she stopped. She looked at Sehun who looked at her surprised.

“What?”

“You’re simply going to sign it?”

“Yes, why?”

“You… don’t have any contradictory feelings?” The only reason Luhan was asking all these questions, and why he was baffled at her sudden agreement, was because he didn’t want Hana to make a decision that would make her miserable or regret something later. He had studied cases in university where the adopted child would end up unhappy with his new family and want out. He didn’t want Hana to be under any unwanted obligations.

“I don’t.”

“You-“

“Luhan, I’m sure.”

The brothers stared at her. Hana smiled, “You guys have treated me like a sister since as long as I can remember. After my parents, you’re my only family. I can’t live without you guys, not after I’ve found you guys again. Aunt Junmi is like my mom…she’s done and sacrificed so much for me. In fact, if there’s anyone who should be having second thoughts, then it’s you guys.”

Sehun raised a brow,” How us?”

“I’m already an extra, if she adopts me then I’ll be an official extra. You guys will be bound to-“

“Shut up before I smash something.”

Hana looked in alarm at Luhan. He had a scowl etched on his face and frown lines dug into his forehead.

“How many times do we have to friggin tell you that you are NOT a God damn burden!” he raised his voice and Hana blinked. Luhan wasn’t shouting, he couldn’t risk waking their mother who was soundly asleep in her room. Looking at her flinch Luhan closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Look, Hana I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. But you have to get this idea that you’re a burden to us out of your head. We want you here, we want you around and we want you to be our sister. You are the daughter mom never had. She sees Aunt Haera in you, don’t you get it?” Luhan pulled at his hair in frustration.

“I’m…sorry.”

“Good. Now get the ‘I’m a burden OMG’ ideology out of your system and tell me, are you sure about your decision? Because Hana, I don’t want you to regret this in any form later on. We’ll be the same as we are now; the only difference would be in the legal documentations.”

Hana clutched the pen in her hand. A lot of things went through her head but the only thing that stood out the most was her family; her new, soon to be official family. Hana raised her gaze toward the boy ahead of her and nodded with a distinct resolve.

“I’m sure.”

-

Author's note:

so...took me long enough, right? The deal is, i'm still using the spare laptop. My original is gone...probably forever... huhu...

which is why i decided to write it on this other laptop instead. i know i kept you guys waiting long which is why i wrote a longer chapter. i was giong to make this linger but then i figured that other stuff should go in the next one...

which means i've already started writing the next chapter. Booyeah. 

thank you guys for sticking with this. i salute your patience.