C hapter. 17

What does a friends mean?

Sorry for not updating for a long time ><

Here is an update!

Your's POV

       The recess is over for about 10 minutes again, yet i just playing with my foods. Yura'd told me too eat everytime i did that, at first i did what she said so, but day after day i don't want to hear her anymore. I even scold her, if she keep on forcing me to eat.

      "Soo Ra? Why you don't eat?" Kai appear suddenly. I turn to him, raising an eyebrow. "I don't want to." I said coldly. Kai keep on telling me that if i don't eat i will sick, i scoffed mentally. I don't even care about my health. "It was a good thing if i died for real." I said it with a blank eyes like there isn't anything wrong with my sentence.

     "Please Soo Ra, i can't stand it anymore seeing you like this." Kai said sadly.  "You don't have too.." I glare. "Can't you just forget him! I love you! Did i even exist in your mind?!" Kai's tears flow out his eyes, i gulped. I keep silent, because i'd know that he love me, yet, i love Baekhyun. It was a long silence before Kai chuckled softly, "Fine then.. See you later." He frown sadly and leave us.

      I sighed. I'm sorry Kai, i can't love you. Baekhyun still filled my heart, and there's no space for you to enter. I feel bad for him, and for myself. I feel that i'm the most stupid girl that exist. Why should i love him? I'm tired for real! That bastard dump me, and i still love him!? This's the worst feeling i had ever feel. I don't realise it when Baekhyun and Kyungsoo come to Yura and me, until Yura gasping.

     What he want here!?! Did he want to said that i'm so freakin ugly?! He want to said that he hate me?! Damn you jerk! I Don't Care. When they walk closer to us, i look away. "Let's us leave Yura." I said to Yura, but when i want to leave Baekhyun hold my hand and ask me to stay. I don't feel happy now, i feel so angry that i could kill him right now.

     He told me to leave him a year ago, and now he told me to stay!? What the hell that he want, i don't understand! Did he think that i'm his doll? His toy, that he can told me to leave when he's bored and ask me to stay when he want to? God damn it! Can i even kill him now?

     "I'm sorry, Soo Ra."

     Baekhyun suddenly said, and my eyes got widder. What sorry? Did he just said that? I look at Yura and found her shocked, so Baekhyun said it for real. At last i look at Baekhyun and glare at him, he look down and ignore eye-contact from me. A warm tear fall to my cheek, and i can't stop it. My face become wet because of my tears that flow down my eyes. But, it wasn't a happy tears, it was a sad tears for me. I chuckled then smirk at him.

     "Did i just hear you said a sorry?" I look at him sadly. "For real?! You said Sorry after i've been suffering for years!" my voice cracked, and i give him my anger speech."You jerk! You leave me! And now you want me back?! Who do you thing you are?! Do you thing i'm your toy to play with? I'm tired, Baekhyun! I have heart too!"

     My voice getting louder and louder ever sentences. I'm so angry now! Who does he think he is?! He dump me twice! And make me suffering day by day. And now he just said a sorry? Woah, hell yeah. He's so brave to said that. I look at him with my teary eyes, in the end of my eyes i could see Kyungsoo look both so worried yet scared. So he has sucess for making Baekhyun appologise? But i'm not happy now!

     "I'm so sorry Soo Ra. I really mean it." He said and look at me sadly. I was going to shout at him again, but Kyungsoo cut me. "Soo Ra! Baekhyun! You don't need to be a couple, just be a friend instead?" He said. Kyungsoo take my hand and Baekhyun's then make us holding each other and shaking the hand. He even smile fakely to make it less awkward, Yura just see us with wide eyes.

     I don't know can we be friend again or not. I really want him back to be more than a friend. I look away from them and wip away my tears, that's going to fall more and more. "Please be friend. And when you guys can know each other feeling well you've to back into a couple again. We all want you guys to make up, and back to normal." Kyungsoo smile sadly at both of us. I raise an eyebrow at Kyungsoo,

     "You know, we never actually dated." I said, and Kyungsoo fake a grin, he even elbow my arm. "Don't make it more difficult!" He hissed. I roll my eyes at him. I don't know what to say but i feel a little happy for it, friend.. It was better than nobody. I sighed.

     "Fine!"

     "A-anyeong, Soo Ra." Baekhyun greet me softly, and i was shocked a bit.  "Ne, annyeong." I shuttered. I walk to find Yura and let him walk behind me. So, this is what we called 'friend'? It feel awkward. "Yura!" I see her with EXO and run to her. "Anyeong!" I said cheerfully at them. "Anyeong, Soo Ra." They said with wide eyes. I know they don't look at me, but the creature behind me. EXO look so happy yet shocked. And they spam us with question.

     "You guys had make it up?" Suho asked. "For real??" Kris said shocked. "At last dongsaeng! After these one year." My brother said. "Good to know!" The rest said cheerfully. "Kyungsoo you'd done you job quite well though." Lay give Kyungsoo a thumb up."Yeah, quite well. At last i could make them become friend again." Kyungsoo said with his poker face like always. All EXO's member look at him with wide eyes and some confused. "What? a friend?"

     Baekhyun and i just keep silence and let Kyungsoo explain to them, we don't talk each other too. After he finished explain about it to EXO, they all sigh heavily. "Aish! Just a friend though." Xiumin said sadly. "Ne, learn about each other faster and become a couple again!" My brother pouts, i just rolled my eyes. We never date in the first place, oppa! I shout mentally.

     "Guys! Let's go buy some food." Suho said suddenly and they leave after bidding us goodbye. Just Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and Yura that stay with me. "So, let's go to the roof and play!" Kyungsoo send us a big grin and we nodded. I sighed. Roof. That memory about Baekhyun throwing my keychain pop out my mind, i don't even tell him to keep it back. I don't want if he throw it again for the second time. That keychain, it save my happiest memories.

     "Let's play then." Kyungsoo said again, after we'd sit on the roof floor. "What game?" I asked them. "How about 5 stones game?" Kyungsoo suggested. We all nodded happily, it has been a long time since i'd play it with Baekhyun when we're child. "Practice first! I haven't play it for a long time." I said, "Yeah, we all too, Soo Ra." Yura chuckled.

     "So, we'll go from Me, then Baekhyun, Soo Ra, and the last Yura. Ne?" Kyungsoo smiled. We nodded. Let Kyungsoo be the host game for today, we practice first for about 5 minutes and started the game.

     "Ya! Kyungsoo ah! You lose! My turn now!" We all laughed happily playing the game. At last we all failed, except for Baekhyun. He's the only one who passed. "I win, losers~" He said happily and mock us. "Ya! Byun Baekhyun! We know you're cheating" I shout at him then laugh too. We all have fun that time, before the bell ring.

     "Forget the game. Exam is coming!" Kyungsoo said and skip happily. "Kid." Baekhyun mock him again. "Ya! I heard that!" Kyungsoo glare at Baekhyun. We all laugh again, this is fun and i hope this time is last forever. I smile secretly. So this is what they called friend.

     I'm not Baekhyun's friend for a long time, because i'm his couple before. So this is the feeling being his friend. It's better than noone for him. But, i prefer being his couple. You know, being his friend, there is an invisible line between us that separated us indirectly. I can't hug or kiss him, i can't do skinship with him too. It feel wierd, and slightly painful.

     But if this is the only way so i can get closer to Baekhyun, then i'll do this. I'll be patoent enough with this friends thing.

     I just want to be with you forever, Baekkie...

Baekhyun's POV

      As i walk back the class, i walked beside Soo Ra and that two person skipping happily to the class. I glance st Soo Ra, she doesn't realise it. She's thinking about something. I sighed, so this is what called friend. We're walking together side by side, but i feel like separated from her too. I don't know why, but i feel like something is separating us. Did she think that way too?

      I really want to hug her, kiss her. But i just can't. Soo Ra, I really want to be your couple again, yet i know i can't. I know i'll gone just in a few years.  I'll died, and leave you. And i can't touch or even see you again.. forever. If we're just friends, is it alright for me to stay near Soo Ra's side?

     I look away from Soo Ra, a warm tears fall from my eyes and i wipped it away before anyone realise it. Yes, i'll died. I know i am, but why. Why it has to be me that suffer? Why?! It was unfair! I've Soo Ra, mom, dad, EXO. I've lots of friend and family that's always be with me, and i shall make them happy too. But why i can't?! Why i'm the one who's suffering because of this disease. I don't understand.

    I want to live. Make them happy. I don't want to leave this world. There's no such world as happy as this one. I could be the hapiest person in the world if i don't have this disease. Duh, Baekhyun! Don't thing like that. There's one person that's more suffering than you, yes, her. She has been waiting for her heart donator for about 10 years, yet she hasn't get it until now.

     I need to visit her after the school, it has been a long time since i talk to her.