1 Year later

October 11^th

It’s been about a year now. Great start for an entry, no? I’m sorry, diary. I’m really sorry because you’ve been filled with sad and dramatic entries since. What’s worse is that I’m writing about the same thing, right? But how can’t I? I know that you know how I feel. It’s difficult. It’s just too difficult to forget someone; someone special. I still can’t get over about what happened. Even though a year has already passed, it still felt fresh. It felt like Jongin said that to me just yesterday. I just can’t. Everywhere I look, I remember Jongin. Anywhere I go, I see him. How could I forget? Immigration? Maybe that’ll do. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. Get ready for a plane trip, diary. We will say goodbye to Korea.

-Do Kyungsoo ♥ Kim Jongin

Kyungsoo dropped his pencil and massaged his neck after he finished writing. He stared at his notebook again for the hundredth time and finally closed it. Looking around, Kyungsoo let out a heavy sigh. I’ll miss Korea.

People were busy. Everyone was either running or waiting. The sound of luggage bags being pulled filled his ears as Kyungsoo sat there, waiting for his flight number to be called. As he was waiting, he let himself relax and think about what he would miss. Bibimbap? Samgyupsal? Yeollie? Baekie? Of course he would miss them, especially Baekhyun, his one hell of a best friend. Baekhyun was already a major part in his life but as much as it pains him, he had to leave his best friend behind. He was thankful though because Baekhyun did so much for him and luckily, came Chanyeol who would take care of him. Thinking about him, he decided to phone his best friend. A few rings were heard after someone with a deep and booming voice answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Uh… Hey, Chanyeol.”

“Kyungsoo-ah!” Chanyeol shouted on the other line and Kyungsoo had to move his phone inches away from him as the other shouted to loud.

“Yeah.” He chuckled. “Hey, I called because of Baekhyun. Where is he?”

“Oh. Wait a sec.” The sound of a door opening was heard and not long after he heard Chanyeol again. “Princess, Kyungsoo is on the phone. Thou shall face thy prince now and take thy most precious phone.”

Kyungsoo could feel Baekhyun blushing from the other line. Who wouldn’t blush after being called a princess? Of course, no one. That’s when he thought that maybe, it’s a good thing that Chanyeol would be there with Baekhyun even when he’s gone. Chanyeol treats his best friend like a princess and Kyungsoo thought that the tall boy could do things he couldn’t do for Baekhyun.

Suddenly he felt the air around him grow cold and his chest felt heavier. I was treated like a princess too, he thought to himself and he couldn’t help but to feel jealous of Baekhyun. How could he forget about that? Of all the things he would miss, Jongin would be the most, although he wasn’t sure because the correct term was already missing.

“Ya, Do Kyungsoo! You still there?”Baekhyun half shouted on the other line.

“Oh, yeah. Hello, dear best friend.” Kyungsoo smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. This would be the last time he would hear Baekhyun’s voice in Korea and he wanted his best friend to be his last call before he leave.

“Kyungie… Please… Don’t go…” He could hear Baekhyun’s voice crack as he tried to dissuade Kyungsoo. “Please… Just stay…”

Kyungsoo let out a sigh. “Baekie, you know I have to do this, right? I’m sorry.” He paused for a while because he could feel his tears threatening to come out. “Just tell Chanyeol that he needs to fill in my responsibilities as your best friend. I know he could do it. He’ll be your best friend-slash-boyfriend. I’m sure he could take care of you.”

“Alright. Wait a sec.” Baekhyun said, covering the microphone end, but he could still hear him. “Giant, you need to take care of me, alright? Yeah? Okay. Okay Kyungie, I’m back.”

Baekhyun sniffed and Kyungsoo heard his shaky breath which made his tears finally fall. I’m sorry I’m not there. I just can’t take to see you leaving. Kyungie, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright. I also can’t bear to walk away from you if you were here.” He said as he wiped an escaped tear. “I love you, Baekie.”

“Aww. I love you too, Kyungie. So much. Don’t forget that you’re supposed to video call me first thing after you land, okay?” A long pause. “Uhm... Take care Kyungie. I love you.”

Kyungsoo immediately pressed the end call and finally let his tears flow freely. He let out what he was feeling inside. It hurts to leave especially if you have to leave those you love behind. It hurts when you know you’ll terribly miss them because nothing or no one can replace them. Leaving them hurts you know that they became part of your life—part of you.

His tears were still flowing out from his eyes when he saw someone approaching him despite his blurry vision. He quickly wiped his tears away as the person becomes nearer and nearer.

“Excuse me sir, are you Mr. Do Kyungsoo?”

“Uhh, yes. Why?”

“The flight you were supposed to be in was just been put into hold due to the weather and we fear that it may end up to rescheduling. Would you like to wait for further notice, sir or would you just prefer rescheduling your flight?”

“Really?” Kyungsoo turned to see the view outside and yes, it was about to rain. Heavy dark clouds clothed the once baby blue sky and the trees are slowly swaying. Maybe this is a sign that I should not go, he thought. However, “I would like to wait.”

“Alright, sir.”

He chose to wait for further notice. He couldn’t reschedule. No. Because that meant he couldn’t stand up for his decision: to forget.

Kyungsoo decided to go for a walk and at the same time, find a café. Somehow, he felt that coffee could make him feel easy and relaxed. As he reached the exterior of the waiting area, he felt strong winds blow against him. Empty paper cups flew in a wild manner. Leaves were rustling aggressively. The wind howled against his ears. A storm.

He looked up and stretched his hand in front of him as small droplets started to fall. It was strange though, because it felt right as if he needed it. His lips slowly curved into a smile as the cold droplets reached his hand. Are you also thinking about me? Are you fine? Are you cold? Are you missing me?

He withdrew his hand and resumed walking, the smile still on his face. Never did he think that a simple drizzle could make him happy. After walking a few steps while smiling to himself, his eyes landed on the word “CAFÉ” written inside a green and blue circle. Finally.

The aroma of brewed coffee tickled his nose and the bells on the door rang as he took a step inside the café. There were no other person inside except for the barista-slash-cashier who was smiling brightly at him. It felt strange. Why were there no people inside a café? Taking slow steps, Kyungsoo managed to reach the counter.

“One large coffee jelly frappe please. Put extra whipped cream.” Kyungsoo said, still looking around.

“Is that all sir?” Kyungsoo nodded. “Name, sir?”

Name? Oh yeah name. But then suddenly an image of Jongin appeared on his mind. It wouldn’t hurt if he did, right? After all, this would be the last time. “It’s Kim Kyungsoo.”

“Alright, Mr. Kim. Please wait on a table while I make your frappe.”

Suddenly he felt the air around him shift as he heard the same bells from earlier. Kyungsoo had the urge to turn around but he resisted. There was something different. Something strange that he, as long as he could remember, felt familiar. Do I need to go to the washroom?

“One mocha cappuccino frappe please. Put extra whipped cream, okay?” No. You’re not him. Kyungsoo moved to the side while he closed his eyes. It can’t be.

“Name, sir?”

“Kim Jongin.”

“Oh. Do you, perhaps know each other? Just asking, you know even though there are many other Kims. Who knows.”

Everything stopped. The world stopped Kyungsoo’s breathing stopped. His brain short-circuited. What? Who? Kyungsoo turned his head to the side and then, everything came back to his head. And there he really was, standing there with a shocked face that was the same as his. Chucky…

“Yes. We do know each other.”

Kyungsoo was surprised when Jongin said those words as he continued to hold the stare. He kind of expected Jongin to deny knowing him yet, there they were, staring at each other as if there wasn’t a world around them.

Kyungsoo was the first to break the stare. He scrambled towards the nearest table and immediate sat on the chair his hand first gripped on. . . . This was not supposed to happen. No. No. No. It’s happening again. Please… make it stop.

He clutched on his chest. His heart was beating so fast. Damn it. Of all things…

“K-Kyungsoo…”

Just then, the rain started to pour hard which was accompanied by the crackling sound of thunder which made Kyungsoo jerk slightly on his chair. Although, he didn’t know whether it was the thunder or the handsome-boy-who-he-wanted-to-forget’s voice that startled him.

~~~

“One coffee jelly frappe and one mocha cappuccino frappe for Mr. Kim Kyungsoo and Kim Jongin. Enjoy your beverage, sir.”

Kyungsoo bit his lip. Seriously, what could get worse? First, his flight would seem to be rescheduled. Second, he sat there at the same table with Jongin for minutes already without making any sound. And last, but the worst, Jongin found out that he used his family name as his. Damn.

Kyungsoo tried to sneak a glance at Jongin but was shocked to see Jongin staring at him. He quickly avoided his gaze and grabbed his frappe, taking sips afterwards. However, he somehow sipped a large amount which made him choke and cough. Damnit.

“Kyungsoo, are you okay? I’m sorry.” Jongin said, quickly reaching onto him. Kyungsoo froze and his cheeks heated the moment Jongin’s hand met his skin. His eyes met that of Jongin’s and again, it seemed like time froze.

Time froze because Kyungsoo felt like going back in time. Everything flashed back in his mind again. Everything. And for the nth time, he could feel his tears coming out and without knowing it, he already blurted out what was on his mind.

“When will this end, Jongin?” Kyungsoo said shakily, his tears flowing. “When will you go out of my mind? When will you leave my head? You’re driving me crazy! Leave my mind alone, for cheesecakes! Leave my mind alone because even though I’m going to another place for good, I know nothing will happen. Nothing will happen because it’s impossible to forget you. Nothing will happen because I still love you.”

He was angry. Can’t he see that I’m hurting? Kyungsoo stood up but was stopped by Jongin who was looking down.

“I—I’m sorry, Kyungsoo… I—I have—“

“A girlfriend. I know.”

He ran. He ran as fast as he could and slammed against the café door hard which made him fall on the floor. Wrong side. Even though his hurt, he fought the urge to stay there and just resumed running, making the bells sound. Kyungsoo continued, even though the rain was pouring hard.

Earlier, he thought it was okay for Jongin to have a girlfriend. It’s part of forgetting, right? But to hell with it. He realized that it was not okay. It’s not okay for him to see Jongin with someone else. It’s not okay to see Jongin’s arms wrapped around someone. It’s not okay because he still loves Jongin and it will not change.

Kyungsoo didn’t stop running despite being soaked in the rain and his breath running out. His knees were slowly giving up and he felt heavy because his jeans was already wet which made everything heave as well though, he just ignored all this.

It was stupid of him to think, but he was hoping that Jongin was following him. Because if he was, that meant that the boy still loves him too, right?

Finally giving up on running, Kyungsoo stopped and decided to turn around, his hopes really high. But to his great disappointment, nothing was there. There was no Jongin; just the heavy droplets that were falling from above.

Kyungsoo felt like fainting. Goddamnit. It hurts a lot. The feeling of emptiness, the feeling of loneliness and the feeling of sadness all-in one was just too much. And as he felt his knees finally give up, he let out a loud and painful scream. He hoped that this way, the pain would numb a little. He was crying hard and his consciousness slowly drifting away when he heard someone’s voice which was very familiar. Jongin?

“Kyungsoo? Ya! Where are you?!” I’m right here.

“Kyungsoo!” Another one.

“Kyungsoo, please! I still have something to say!” It’s getting nearer.

“Kyungsoo, I’m here! Where are you?! Answer me!”

Forcing himself to stand and walk a little, Kyungsoo stood up, trying his best to let Jongin know that he was there but maybe, just maybe, his best wasn’t enough because just after a few steps, he felt like everything was spinning. The last thing he knew before losing consciousness was he felt like floating, yet he could still feel the raindrops hitting his face and the last thing he heard was Jongin’s voice, shouting his name.

“Relative of Do Kyungsoo?”

“Here, Sir.”

Jongin stood up and approached the doctor. “Is he alright?”

The doctor gave him a bright smile. Thank goodness you’re okay.

“Kyungsoo was just stressed and based on our observations, he just suffered from over fatigue. He’ll be awake in a while so there’s nothing to worry about.”

“. . . Thank you very much.” Jongin said, bowing his head. “May I enter the room?”

“Oh, of course. No problem.”

Jongin thanked the doctor again before facing the door. This is it. He better do things right. Everything would change after entering the room. All he needed to do was to make Kyungsoo trust him again—to make him believe that he still loves him.

He opened the door with wavering hands. He expected to feel fear, hurt and other raging emotions but when he saw Kyungsoo peacefully lying on the bed, the storm inside him calmed down. Seeing him in peace made Jongin love him more. You’re okay.

He still loved Kyungsoo. There wasn’t a time he didn’t. Ever since he distanced away, there wasn’t a time he did not think about Kyungsoo; especially when he read his diary. Truth be told, Jongin wanted to come back to Kyungsoo. He wanted to come back because both of them were hurting, but he didn’t. He didn’t because he was the one giving hell to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo would just suffer because of him so, he endured the pain, thinking it would be worth it; just for Kyungsoo to be happy. But what he hadn’t thought about was that he couldn’t forget Kyungsoo. He could endure the pain but not for long. He wanted Kyungsoo. Just Kyungsoo, damnit. He’d welcome and accept every obstacle he would face, even if it meant him suffering just for Kyungsoo to be his again; just for them to be together again. Because for him, nothing is better in this world than to love and to be loved by Kyungsoo.

Jongin sat beside the sleeping Kyungsoo and stared at the sleeping munchkin in which, he noticed a frown on his face. I missed calling you that, he thought as he slid his thumb over Kyungsoo’s forehead, loosening the frown.

“Munchkin…” Jongin said in a wavering tone. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry I have hurt you. I’m sorry. So sorry. I’m sorry for avoiding you, for treating you like nobody. I’m sorry I didn’t come back. I was the one giving you problems and I thought the best thing to do was to be away from you, but to hell with it, it’s not. I spent those sleepless nights crying and thinking about you. Did you miss me? Because I really do. I freaking do! Munchkin, I love no one else but you. I don’t have a girlfriend. I don’t want one. What I want is you. Look, I even have something for you.”

Jongin dug his hands into his pocket and took out a box. Inside it was a necklace with a heart-shaped locket. He looked at Kyungsoo again but he felt his soul leave him.  Kyungsoo was looking at him, eyes shining and a teardrop escaping. “Y—You’re awake?”

“I heard everything.” And there, Jongin’s heart stopped as Kyungsoo smiled at him, never mind that his voice was shaking. “What is it that you have for me?” Jongin was still staring at Kyungsoo as he absent-mindedly took the necklace. “It has a picture of you and me in it.”

Blushing, Kyungsoo quickly grabbed the necklace but his excitement was quickly extinguished as he struggled to open the locket. “How do I open it?”

Jongin rubbed the back of his neck. He was shy and blushing, damnit. “Only I have the key so that I would be the one that could… enter in your heart?”

Kyungsoo let out a chuckle and slowly, he closed the distance between their lips. “I still love you too, Chucky.”

Inside the locket was a picture of the four of them: Him, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol. Of course his best friend and his best friend’s boyfriend was in his heart too but Jongin believed he was unique.

He loves me and I love him. That is enough for me to be unique.

~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n

Okay. Sorry guys. I updated late T___T 

Actually I'm tired but school was killing me but now.... MWAHAHAHA I AM FREE!!!

We have nothing to do much in school starting from now on and that means I could write. Hihihi.

Here is the Kaisoo ending :) Baekyeol would be I think... on my birthday? I guess. Hihi

P.S.

Don't sulk. I would still write an epilogue XD

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