“Th-Thank you, Pres.”

 

Baekhyun waved at Kris and headed to the washroom. He was sure that the eyeliner he put was waterproof but after the nth time he cried, he assumed that his eyes were a mess. He walked to the washroom and faced the mirror and there, he saw how terrible his eyes were so he decided to remove the eyeliner. He was checking at his pocket for the make-up remover when he remembered that it was in his bag. He then just washed his face to temporarily make his face a bit presentable.

 

Baekhyun was washing his face when he remembered Chanyeol as the giant cupped his face and tried to remove the eyeliner with a scarf. He touched his eyes and felt it as if Chanyeol was touching it too. His mind was filled with flashbacks ─ starting from their first meeting. He remembered how he pushed Chanyeol away, the first lunch they had together (he laughed for a moment because when this happened, he ran to the ladies comfort room) and most specially, the day when they went to the place only the two of them knew.

 

He closed the faucet and stood in front of the mirror, doing nothing but staring at his horrible self.

 

“Look at you, Byun Baekhyun. You are such a crybaby. You are such a scaredy-cat.  You are so scared of getting hurt that you’ll just end up hurting yourself. You are so scared of getting hurt that you deprive yourself from loving Chanyeol.” Baekhyun could feel his tears come again. He wondered how many gallons of tears he had because up until now, tears were still raging down his face.

 

“Why am I like this? Why am I so scared? Do I still love that Sungjae?” He was still staring at his crying self. Was he still in love with the boy?

 

No, he wasn’t. It was very clear to him that he was not. He was just scared to be left alone again, left alone loving. “Can’t I just love Chanyeol a bit? Can I just love Chanyeol without minding myself after all, love is being selfless? Can I just be free? Can I just let myself love him? Can I just stop being scared?”

 

Baekhyun continued to cry. He knew he said ‘scared’ too many times already but he doesn’t mind. All he wanted was to love without shedding many tears. All he wanted was for him to be brave enough to love.

 

He wiped his face and went out of the washroom. Somehow, Baekhyun felt a little bit lighter than before because he let out a little of his burden earlier. As he was walking to his classroom, his chest suddenly felt heavy. Baekhyun clutched at his chest─ he was feeling weird. He was approaching their room when he felt his chest get heavier and saw that their classroom’s lights were still on. ‘Diligent president’, he thought.

 

Baekhyun stood by the door and was about to greet Kris when he heard the president spoke. But what Baekhyun didn’t know was that what he was about to hear and see would make his jaw drop and his chest feel much heavier than before.

 

“So yeah… I like you, Park Chanyeol.”

 

Baekhyun just stood there. He didn’t know what to do and to add to it, his feet wouldn’t move. He saw… He saw Kris kiss Chanyeol… on the lips. He felt hot and weak and his heart wanted to go out. He could feel his soul separate from him.

 

Our president likes… Chanyeol… M-my… Giant…

 

And that did it. Baekhyun’s eyes started to fill with tears again as he saw Chanyeol not moving. “Does he like it?” was all Baekhyun could say in his mind. Chanyeol was neither pulling away nor answering the kiss so Kris held the tall guy at the waist. Maybe Baekhyun stood there for long because Chanyeol saw him. The giant’s eyes widened and he pushed the president the moment Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s eyes met. Baekhyun felt like dying.

 

‘So this is it? This is really love? Gaddammit it hurts …’

 

Baekhyun couldn’t take it anymore. He ran. He ran as fast as he could. He ran to where his feet would take him. He ran as if there was no tomorrow.

 

‘What did I do to deserve this? The hell with this, it hurts so much!’

 

He felt his tears stream down continuously as he ran. He did nothing but run. What he saw earlier devastated him. He was already there; he finally let himself to love Chanyeol. He finally let himself to be brave enough but because of what he saw earlier, his efforts on changing himself would be nothing but waste.

 

‘So this is what love feels like. It hurts so much even if you haven’t even started a relationship. Now I know; Love isn’t like those fairytales with happy endings. Love is actually pain. Love is suffering. Love is nothing but a burden.’

 

Baekhyun was lost in the world. He didn’t even know where he was. All he knew was he was running, hoping to escape from the pain.

 

He was crossing the street when he saw white light. The light intensified every second, as if getting closer and the next thing Baekhyun felt was sever pain in his upper body and his head which made him unconscious.

 

Love… hurts… so… bad…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo was currently in the kitchen, stomping and mumbling to himself. Earlier, Jongin forced him to cook for them because according to Jongin, they should celebrate the birth of “Munchkin” and “Chucky”. Kyungsoo couldn’t deny. No, he hadn’t got the chance to deny because Chucky was already jumping up and down and was asking the location of his best friend’s house which left Kyungsoo with no choice.

 

“Munchkin, what’s taking it so long?” Jongin tiredly said as soon as he stepped in the kitchen area.

 

“Jongin, cooking was never ─”

 

“How many times will I have to tell you to call me Chucky? Is it hard?” The younger interrupted him and gave him a questioning look.

 

“N─ No… It’s just that…”

 

“You hate it, don’t you?” Jongin pouted. Kyungsoo looked down because he felt himself blush. “Y- You should have said so so I’m not forcing you...” He saw Jongin’s eyes were full of hurt. I’m sorry.

 

Instead of cuddling Jongin (he couldn’t do that), he just grabbed the boy’s shoulder.

 

“No, Chucky. Don’t jump into conclusions, okay? I was about to say that I still haven’t got the hang of it but hey, I do now.” Kyungsoo smiled and saw Jongin’s face brighten up.

 

“Really?” Jongin hugged him. “Thank you, Munchkin.” Kyungsoo was surprised because after Jongin let go of the hug, his left arm was still around his shoulder.

 

“You know what Munchkin, I kinda like this feeling. How about I visit you every day?  I’ll just tell grandma that I’m with you. All you have to do is to cook for me.” Jongin flashed a smile and pulled him closer. Kyungsoo could feel that his heartbeat got faster. He was looking down when felt Jongin’s breath on his cheeks. Kyungsoo closed his eyes and stiffened up when his phone suddenly rang. Jongin might have been surprised too as he quickly retreated his arm.

 

“H- Hello?” Kyungsoo held the phone to his ear while mouthing ‘excuse me’ to Jongin.

 

“Are you a relative of Byun Baekhyun?” The voice on the other line said. Something was not right. He heard something like ‘I didn’t mean it’ in the background.

 

“No, but I am his best friend. May I ask who this is and what is the matter?”

 

“The name’s Luhan. I just want to inform you that Byun Baekhyun is currently here in the hospital.” Kyungsoo nearly dropped his phone and he suddenly felt weak. Jongin, seeing Kyungsoo about to fall, immediately approached and supported him.

 

“W- What hospital? I mean, where is it?” Kyungsoo was feeling devastated. He didn’t know that it will result to his. He didn’t know that Baekhyun would be hurt, both physically and emotionally.

 

“We are here at Northeast Southwest Central Medical Center. Please come quickly because I will have to tell you what happened.”

 

Both of them rushed to the hospital. They didn’t find it difficult to find the medical center because they would just have to go northeast from where they were and then go southwest and then proceed to the center of the place. Kyungsoo rushed at the reception desk to ask where Baekhyun was and swiftly ran to the instructed room.

 

“What happened to Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo shouted as he forcefully pushed the door and hurried to Baekhyun’s side as soon as he entered the white room.

 

“You might not want to shout.” A tall and blond boy said. “The doctor said he needs rest. He might have to stay at the hospital for a week.”

 

Kyungsoo looked at the sleeping Baekhyun with white cloth wrapped around his head and the oxygen mask nearly covering his face. He could see sadness in Baekhyun’s closed eyes. Kyungsoo could feel his eyes water and he doesn’t want the two strangers to see him crying but luckily, Jongin stood beside him so he just looked at the boy while he wiped his tears.

 

“Uhm, we are very sorry. We were driving on our way to the park when he suddenly crossed the road and─” The blond boy explained but was interrupted by a flaring Kyungsoo.

 

“Wait, you were the reason why Baekhyun was hospitalized?” Kyungsoo raised his voice and saw the blond boy retreat.

 

The shorter boy who had brown hair stood in front of him while putting the blond boy behind him, as if protecting the boy. Jongin approached the both of them.

 

“Hey, don’t raise your voice on Sehunnie. What we were trying to say was it was an accident. We didn’t want it to happen. It happened unexpectedly.”

 

“Luhan, it’s okay. I understand…” The Sehun guy said to the boy in front of him whom he said was Luhan. “Uhm, I will shoulder all the hospital bills…”

 

“What are you talking about, Sehun? You can’t handle the bills alone!” Luhan faced the blond boy.

 

“I can pay in installments… right?”

 

“No, you can’t handle the bills all alone. I too will help pay the bills.”

 

“But─”

 

“No buts Sehun. I insist.”

 

Kyungsoo knelt beside Baekhyun’s bed. He understood that it was an accident and he couldn’t blame the couple (or was it a couple? Whatever) unlike those in the movies who would release their rage. Kyungsoo was crying when Jongin tried to comfort him by rubbing his back. He turned to Jongin and hugged him. He couldn’t take it to see Baekhyun lying on the hospital bed.

 

He was crying when he heard the door open and a deep voice boomed in the room. “Baekhyun?”

 

Kyungsoo turned around and saw a panting Chanyeol. He was surprised to see the tall guy here. He is here for Baekhyun? You should have seen this, Baek. A person appeared behind him which happened to be Kris. Kyungsoo saw Chanyeol’s eyes widen but immediately turned to Baekhyun.

 

“We were very sorry. Everything was an accident and─”

 

“Why didn’t you stop? Didn’t you think that someone might be crossing the road?” He could see Chanyeol clench his fist.

 

“I’m sorry. I was the one driving and I didn’t saw─” Once again, Sehun was interrupted by an angry Chanyeol.

 

“Sorry? Do you think he’ll be okay with that sorry of yours? Do you think your ‘sorry’ would heal his wounds and make him feel better?” Chanyeol was flaring up with anger.

 

“Luhan, I’m scared…” Sehun went behind Luhan and sobbed. The brown-haired boy hugged the blond boy for a moment the turned to Chanyeol with piercing eyes.

 

“Let me ask you, what is your relationship with this boy?”

 

Kyungsoo saw Chanyeol stiffen. “I am his… friend.” Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun and then down, his fist loosening.

 

“I’m gonna tell you something. Don’t act like you are his boyfriend. What happened was an accident. Nobody knew what happened. We didn’t know why he was running and mostly, we didn’t know that he was crossing the road.” He noticed that Chanyeol looked surprised. Actually, Luhan was right. He shouldn’t act like Baekhyun’s boyfriend. After all, you are the reason why Baekhyun was hurting.

 

“Before we accidentally hit him, he was in a hurry. He was looking down while running fast, as if someone was running after him. Also, he was crying.” Sehun told everyone in the room and as if by reflex, Kyungsoo looked at Chanyeol who was currently looking down.

 

“I─ ugh.” Chanyeol didn’t continue. “I’m sorry.”

 

“So you were the reason why the boy was running huh? You shouldn’t put the all the blame on us. Partially, it was your fault too.”

 

Kyungsoo gave Chanyeol a piercing look. ‘So you were the primary cause why Baekhyun was here.’ Kyungsoo said in his mind. He was about to slap the Chanyeol repeatedly when Baekhyun woke up. Kyungsoo returned to Baekhyun immediately.

 

“K- Kyungie, what is Chanyeol doing here?” Kyungsoo could see panic in Baekhyun’s eyes when he saw Chanyeol… and Kris.

 

“Baekhyun, listen to me. Everything was just a misunderstanding, okay? What you saw was─” Chanyeol was interrupted by Kyungsoo who was looking at him with eyes filled with rage.

 

“Jongin, get Chanyeol the hell out of here.” Jongin was still not moving as he gave Kyungsoo a questioning look. “Chucky, if I said get Chanyeol out, get him out!” He finally shouted.

 

“Baekhyun! Jongin, please wait. I have to tell something.  Please listen to me. You misunderstood. I─” They didn’t hear what Chanyeol said next as Jongin shut the door behind him. Kyungsoo turned and hugged the crying Baekhyun.

 

What did my best friend do to you that you make him suffer like this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Tell me dude, what the hell did you do?”

 

Jongin took Chanyeol to the convenience store nearby to buy both of them something to eat. He figured that he needed to take Chanyeol away from Kyungsoo’s sight lest they’ll both be dead. He looked at Chanyeol who was currently slouching on his chair.

 

“Baekhyun saw Kris kissing me. He misunderstood things, dude. I don’t want it to happen, you know. I didn’t even know that Kris liked me. But I swear Jongin, I don’t like Kris. Baekhyun ran when he saw us and ─ ARGH!” Chanyeol dropped his fist and buried his face in his hands.

 

Jongin realized that it wasn’t a mistake calling Chanyeol here. The reason why he approached the two guys earlier was to that he saw Baekhyun’s phone being held by the Sehun guy. Jongin took the phone while Kyungsoo wasn’t looking and quickly sent Chanyeol a message saying that Baekhyun had an accident and the location of the hospital. He had been observing Chanyeol, the way he changes whenever he is with Baekhyun and the looks Chanyeol was giving every time they would part ways. He thought that this was the perfect time for them to talk because the hell with it, they were feeling the same, only Baekhyun and Kyungsoo was different.

 

“I’m gonna have to ask you a question.” Jongin suddenly said which made Chanyeol jerk in shock.

 

“What is it?” Chanyeol deadpanned.

 

“Do you love Baekhyun?” He then heard the guy beside him breathe deeply.

 

“I… I don’t know.” Chanyeol looked down. Jongin laughed because he sensed that Chanyeol was lying. Chanyeol gave him a weird look.

 

“You don’t know?” He chuckled.

 

“W- What do you mean?”

 

Jongin knew that Chanyeol loves Baekhyun even though the guy believes he only likes Baekhyun. He saw it in Chanyeol’s eyes; the way the tall guy looked at Baekhyun, it was like the way he looked at Kyungsoo.

 

“Let me tell you a story then. There was this boy who felt alone. He felt like nobody likes him. He felt like something was missing in his life. He always felt down because he thought, everybody hates him. But someone suddenly came and proved that not everybody despises him. This ‘someone’ was the reason he smiled again. This ‘someone’ was the reason why he became happy again. They obviously became close to each other and they even had lunch together. The boy then noticed that he was feeling weird whenever he is with this ‘someone’. Never did he know, he was already in love with ‘someone’.”

 

An image of Kyungsoo appeared in his mind. He recalled everything that happened starting from him saving Kyungsoo’s cake, Kyungsoo persuading the Dean, the day when Kyungsoo came into the clinic wherein he realized that he likes the boy and up to what happened earlier when Kyungsoo shut his eyes and stiffened when Jongin was about to kiss him. Jongin smiled at the thought. He then looked at Chanyeol and gave him another weird look.

 

“Dude, was that you in the story? The story was touching though.” Chanyeol said.

 

“No, Chanyeol.” He laughed. “The boy was both of us.” He saw Chanyeol’s eyebrow meet and his forehead curl.

 

“And ‘someone’ was…” Jongin put his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder as he said the next words. “Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.”

 

It’s about time you realize it too.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

a/n

 

Yeeeey. Part 2 of Why Love If It Hurts So Much :D

 

 

 

I just want to take this opportunity to thank my subscribers and viewers and most specially, upvoters. Even though my story only has a few upvotes and a half a hundred subscribers, I still want to thank you. You are my sole reason why I am still writing this fic. You are the reason why I am still trying to improve. Even though there are only a few of you, I still feel inspired to write this. Even though there are only a few of you, I still feel that my story is special because of all of you. (Just so you know, I’m tearing up here while I write this author’s note) Thank you for those who posted encouragement words on my wall or even in my story and also for those who commented on the fic. You don’t know how happy it makes me when I read your messages. Once again, thank you and I love you guys! XOXO

 

 

 

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