Catching Her Fall

Covering the sky with her right hand, she gradually shielded off the bright sunlight peering down on her, weary. Letting out a soft breath, the girl began to make her way down the set of stairs connecting to the pathway just up ahead. Gaze on the ground, she could feel her steps growing heavier. Once she reached the pavement of the road at the end of the path, she eventually froze.

“Did you sleep well today, polar bear?”

Hearing his voice from only a distance away, Haekyung slowly found the courage to glance upwards. There had been no one right in front of her right at this very moment, she finally knew.

Perhaps she had been thinking too much lately. So much, that she had started to imagine it all.

These gentle recollections were distantly warm. It had always been with her, since she was never capable of erasing them. Like this, the girl was beginning to treasure their times together that had been left behind. On a repeated loop, these memories continued to render her heart numb.

Haekyung lightly softened, her shoulders deflating as she managed to regain her senses back.

On days like these, she simply felt lonely without his presence. In the past, he would always be there to accompany her. So in the end, was she ever really prepared to make these changes? Certainly not, it seemed. Rather than that, every passing moment had only felt suffocating to her.

But things weren’t going to change anytime soon, were they?

Reaching the stoplight up front, she paused her steps as she waited along with the remaining crowd. Looking off into the distance, the girl caught a glimpse of the clock on the opposite side. It was currently still early in the morning, as it had eventually become a routine of hers in heading out for school earlier ever since. It might have been caused by the fact that sleep hadn’t exactly come too easily for her anymore. On many nights, thoughts of him would somehow always find its way to the depths of her mind, leaving her slowly restless. Had it always been this difficult..?

She honestly didn’t know how to cope with these changes anymore, feeling resignedly helpless.

Eventually hearing the familiar set of footsteps travelling past her back and forth, Haekyung instantly snapped out of her previous thoughts, startled. However, the minute she had glanced up once more to finally cross, her breathe began to grow short at what she was currently seeing.

On the other side, he had been standing right in the center of the crowds, seemingly unfazed.

Hands in his pocket, the boy had only remained still, unmoving. His gaze began to roam around the area, slowly finding hers as she had also been glancing towards his direction, equally still in place. Even though she knew that it might have only been her imagination once more, the girl had wanted to be sure. And with that determination in mind, she hesitantly made her way over.

Unable to break the gaze that he was sharing with her, he continued to study her movements.

Navigating through the crowd, it became harder for her to reach him, seeing that it had only multiplied over the length of her steps. Heads directly obscuring her view, she abruptly came to a halt, breathless. The girl had lost him. Searching for him through the thickness of the mass, the boy’s figure had gradually faded off into the distance. Desolated, she lowered her eyes to the ground, feeling as if she hadn’t known what to believe anymore when that recognition began to sink in. Haekyung froze, tightening the grip of her palms as she fought the urge to break down.

None of this was real… was it?

Entering through the closed doors of the library, the girl briefly scanned the open area. It was rather empty, as there was about an hour left before the start of morning classes. Nearing a table at the far ends of the building, she quietly made her way over to occupy one of the vacant seats. Haekyung gently pulled out a book she had brought along with her, realizing that she had finished reading it just the day before. Ready to return it, she travelled over to where the shelves were.

Casting her eyes over a selection of unfamiliar spines, she proceeded to past by several sections.

Once a week, she would find herself searching for a new book to preoccupy herself with, not knowing that the reason for doing so, was simply because she hadn’t known another way to keep her feelings in check. It seems that even after all this time, the girl was never able to get better.

She just couldn’t clear away the source of this pain.

It didn’t actually take long until a new book had caught her interest. She began to reach for the spine placed just above her, carefully retrieving it into the palms of her hand. Haekyung then strolled down the opposite lane to return the book that she had previously borrowed a couple days before, settling down at the area in where she would usually spend her days finishing them.

Flipping the first page over, she had once again become absorbed as these words only led her on.

The vast silence that was granted to her was comforting, allowing her to steadily scan through the pages of her novel as time quickly elapsed. Undeniably, it was also because this very place had brought back so many pleasant memories in the past, ones that were just enough to pull her through this bittersweet phase of hers that had felt so incomprehensible. They were beyond her grasp.  Recounting those days in detail, it seemed that this was her only method of consolation.

“This is our special place together.. isn’t it, Haekyung?”

Stopping her movements mid-way, she held her breathe. Haekyung gradually glanced up from the book placed in her hands, dazed. Just right in front of her, he had occupied the space that was once empty. Staring right into his gentle eyes, the boy flashed her a warm gaze. The corner of his lips began to curve upwards, a genuine smile forming on his lips as he gazed into her eyes.

Eventually closing her own shut, she felt her heart waver in place, knowing perfectly well this had just been another illusion of hers. The girl simply waited as the remaining seconds only ticked by.

Opening them up a minute later.. he was no longer there. Just as she had hopelessly predicted.

---

Heading towards his seat at the back, he casually grabbed a separate piece of handout that was neatly placed at the front of the room just before the start of classes. On the way there, the boy’s homeroom teacher only flashed him a knowing smile, “Excellent job on your previous unit test!”

He nodded politely, reaching an arm forward to collect his test paper from his teacher, “Thanks.”

The woman blinked, noticing her favourite’s student lack of energy right from the beginning. He had now been glancing out the window, a palm placed under his chin for support as he waited for morning classes to start. Mrs. Park began to shake her head lightly as she observed the rest of her students spread around the classroom, somewhat understanding of their current position.

“Well, I suppose kids these days must be under great pressure to do well for the upcoming year.”

Distracted with the view presented just below him, he blinked as he heard the other girl’s voice softly echo through his ears. Jungkook turned around to face her, only to be greeted by her cheerful grin. Sohee deepened her smile, shifting forward to study his mark printed on the sheet.

“98? That doesn’t really explain the frown on your face though.”

He simply shrugged in response, holding a smile that was hardly perceivable. “I guess it doesn’t.”

The girl softened, settling down to sit beside him. It honestly hurt to see him like this. It had been a few months ever since she last saw him pull off a genuine expression which showed that he was actually feeling okay for once. However, his efforts had been nothing more than a few smiles and chuckles that were initiated half-heartedly. Like this, she was starting to miss his warmth.

Eventually, the two found themselves facing forward as their biology teacher began discussions.

Learning that the handouts they received just now were information detailing of the research project to be completed in pairs, she glanced towards the boy’s direction, gently tapping him on the arm, “Hey, do you want to work together this time? It’s been a while since we’ve completed anything together. Remember that time, back in the sixth grade with our history report?” Jungkook nodded in reply, wondering how she could have kept this memory with her for so long.

“Sure, why not? And yeah, I remember the guy made us write a twenty-five page report, huh?”

“Yup, so we ended up spending all night for that one report.”

“It was worth it though, right? If we hadn’t been paired up together back then, then I guess that we would have never met.” He cracked a slight smile, eyes on his paper as he continued jotting down the notes that their teacher had been covering over the board. She grew warm at his words.

Sohee mirrored his smile, tuning in to the lesson as well. “It was definitely worth it, Jungkook.”

“Can you stand? You scraped yourself pretty badly.”

“Yeah, I’m alright.” She got up on her feet, only to fall right back down. Pain eventually travelled up her right leg, causing her to let out a soft whimper. In response, he had already bent down on one knee with his back faced towards her, arms stretched out wide as he signaled her to climb on.

“Is that your definition of being alright, Sohee? It’s okay, there’s no one else around us anyways.”

The girl blinked in hesitation, slowly wrapping her arms around the boy’s neck just as he had steadily got up from the ground. Adjusting her into a more comfortable position, they began their walk back home. She bit her lips in embarrassment, not at all expecting that he’d be there to help her at a place and time like this. After all, it had only been a couple of weeks since they’ve met.

“I’m heavy, aren’t I? Sorry for being such a burden.”

Jungkook chuckled lightly, peering over his shoulder as he glanced up at her. She froze in place.

“You weigh a ton, actually. And don’t ever associate yourself with that word, because you’re far from that.” Sohee found herself smiling softly at his words, a sense of gratitude and appreciation spreading right through her. That was only until the girl had just registered his previous sentence.

Sohee huffed in disbelief, “What are you saying?! I don’t even weigh more than half of that.”

He laughed, “Hey, I was just kidding! Calm down.”

Repeating that memory in her head, her lips had curled into warm smile. However, the girl knew that memories like these were only made for her to secretly look back on, nothing more. In the beginning, she had merely thought of placing their friendship above everything else, afraid that it would only crumble without a trace. But seeing how things were right now, Sohee was no longer afraid of letting these feelings of hers resurface. She had only wanted to do the right thing.

“So my place or yours for the research project? I’ll let you decide, since I’m still not really sure.”

“Yours will be fine, I guess.”

Sohee quickly provided the boy with an answer, hands laced above her desk as she let out a small breathe. He didn’t notice her state of nervousness, gaze currently still connected to the page below him as he was calmly reviewing his notes from the last lesson. Then came his next question.

He parted his lips to speak once more, “Day and time?”

“I like you, Jungkook.”

He paused, coming to a complete stop just as those words had registered through his mind. Jungkook turned to face her, almost stunned to give her an immediate reply. No words came out.

She whispered, “Ever since the first semester, I’ve grown to like you as more than just a friend.”

Looking towards the front of the class, the girl momentarily avoided his eyes.

“It’s strange that I’m saying something this like to you all of a sudden, isn’t it? I’ve never thought that I would be able to let you know just how I was honestly feeling.. I guess you could say that I was frightened to do so. But now that I’ve gotten this off my chest, I actually feel much better now. So it’s alright even if you aren’t sure of what to say, it’s not my intention to expect anything.”

“No, it’s not strange.. I just really wasn’t expecting that.” He replied, encouraging her to continue.

Sohee graced a light smile, “There are times that I’m just happy and grateful that you’re here with me, simply as a real friend, I suppose. Then I slowly realized, that recognition of you had meant so much more than that. It developed into something that I wasn’t capable of controlling.

In the end, I only found myself crossing a visible line that had always been drawn between us.”

He breathed, struggling to find the right words to say. “I had no idea… that you felt that way about me, Sohee.” She only shook her head to assure him that it was fine even if he hadn’t known.

“Instead, do you know what actually hurts more than this?” She quietly asked.

The boy blinked, “What is it?”

“It’s the fact that the two people I care most about, are silently suffering because of me. It hurts me so much to know that I’ve always been in the way, and yet, there’s nothing I can do to fix it.”

Jungkook gradually softened at the way her hands began to tremble, “Sohee, what are you – “

She gazed into his eyes, her smile gently fading in place. “Haekyung knew how I’ve felt about you all this time, Jungkook. I guess her only way of preventing me from being hurt.. is to let you go.”

He froze, not knowing how to take this in. It felt as if he had been incredibly ignorant. “What..?”

“I’m sorry.. it’s all my fault. I should have told you this sooner.”

Sensing how helpless and fragile she was, the boy unknowingly reached his hand forward. He softly rested a palm over the tip of her head, gently caressing her worries away. Sohee lowered her gaze to the ground, losing the strength to face him. She had almost forgotten about her confession just a few minutes ago, unaware of his reply that he had been preparing for all along.

“It’s alright, you don’t have to blame yourself anymore. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, Sohee. I guess some things are bound to happen for a reason. In the end, all we can do is learn to accept the truth.” This was what he had already decided on, when he finally grasped the meaning behind her words. Her voice began to repeatedly flash over his mind, causing his heart to ache over time.

“I don’t think… that I’m the right one for you. It can’t happen between us. I’m sorry, Jungkook.”

Ever since then, it was the only thing the boy could remember.

He eventually lowered his hand, lightly shielding the girl’s eyes as he briefly hesitated with what he was about to say next. She remained still. Jungkook softly whispered, “Thank you, for sincerely opening up your heart to me. I’m glad that you had the courage to let me know. Also.. I’m sorry.”

“In the future.. I hope we’ll remain by each other’s side as good friends. I’ll guarantee it, Sohee.”

---

The late afternoon glow of the sun lightly glimmered from a distance, a faint streak of light falling over the surface of her page. The girl tilted backwards, gently closing her book shut just as she had slowly glanced upwards to check her surroundings. There were only a couple of other students left in the area. Apart from finishing her current novel, she had also managed to complete her readings for her other classes. Haekyung then set her materials aside, unaware that she had constantly been doing nothing else, but solid studying and review for the last three hours.

Organizing her belongings back into her bag, she headed towards the exit of the school’s library.

Her days had somehow gradually played out like this from start to finish, although she couldn’t exactly remember when the sole comfort of this place had finally become a second home of hers.

Perhaps, the first option had no longer been important to her anymore.

Just as she had stepped out of the building, her phone began to lightly vibrate at the same time. Reaching her hand into the pocket of her blazer, she blinked, viewing the number on her screen.

Haekyung only halted her steps in mid realization. Then came the rush of familiarity and warmth.

The girl started softly in a quiet whisper, “Dad..?”

“Haekyung? I’ve actually wanted to reach you earlier. I guess all this paperwork just didn’t give me an opportunity to do so. How are things back home, dear? I’m not interrupting you, am I?”

For the next seconds on the line, she remained silent. Feeling overwhelmed by the mere sound of her father’s voice, she suddenly felt weak. It had been too long, since she was last given a chance to speak with him like this. Time had always been an issue. It simply made her realize, just how incredibly much she had come to miss her parents, during the recent years of their parting.

“Honey?” He repeated over the call, voice laced with worry at his daughter’s lack of response.

Recovering from her previous state, she managed to quickly reply with a faint smile, “Yeah, I’m here. I’m getting by alright.. I suppose. And it’s okay, Dad. I was just on my way home from school. You weren’t interrupting me in any way at all. How are things working out over there with Mom?”

“It’s great to know that you’re able to take care of yourself like this, even without us around. I’m proud of you. You’ve grown up so well, Haekyung. Your mother and I have just been really busy lately.. we’re sorry for not being able to contact you often. Things don’t always go as planned.”

Haekyung lightened up at her father’s words of encouragement, although feeling strangely bitter.

She earnestly added, “You don’t have to apologize to me, Dad. I know.. that you two have always been occupied with work, and I understand that it’s a heavy responsibility to bear. I just wish that you and mom can take a rest once in a while.. it’s not good for your health. Even once is enough.”

“Thank you for understanding our efforts, I guess we’ve only been getting carried away all these years. On the day that we left, do you remember that I’ve promised to give you a better future?”

“I still remember.” The girl clearly recalled, unaware that her father had only been hesitating.

“Your mother and I are still working hard to achieve that, Haekyung. I hope you’ll rely on our trust for just a little longer. Just until we’re able to settle everything here for good.” He compromised.

“What If I told you that I’m perfectly happy with the way things are? I’m sure you know that I – “

Haekyung briefly paused, catching her breathe.

“You know that I don’t care about any of that.. I’ll always be proud with where you’re at with your goals. It honestly hurts me to know that you and mom are constantly putting yourselves through this when you know that all I wanted, is for you to come back. Do you know how terribly empty I felt, every time I’m reminded of the reason as to why I’ve always had to endure it all alone? Right to the point.. that I’m starting to think you’ve both simply abandoned me like this.”

Her father panicked, not wanting his daughter to believe that he would have ever intended to make her feel this way. “You know that’s not true, your mother and I would never abandon you.”

She answered, “So why is it that you two were never there for me, when I needed you the most?!”

He fell silent upon her words, as if the girl had just hit a spot right at the very back of his heart. Perhaps, his efforts in trying to conceal the extension of her pain would only end right up here.

There was no use in trying to keep it in any longer.

“Your mother.. she’s fallen ill. I’ve put everything else aside to support her for the past year and a half. It wasn’t critical at first, but as time grew, her condition only worsened. I wanted to make sure that everything would be alright the day that we’d finally be back. But a chance like that simply never came. It’s the reason why we’ve never been able to return. I.. shouldn’t have kept this from you for so long, I couldn’t risk letting you get hurt like this, especially when I’m incapable of being there for you. You had every right to know about this, yet I just wasn’t ready, Haekyung.”

She felt as if she couldn’t breathe at this point.

Haekyung froze, her voice coming out frail. “I should have been more understanding.. I’m sorry.”

Sensing that the girl had been at a loss of words, her father softened. He knew that his daughter was only trying to keep a strong front about this, instead of letting her emotions fall right through. He wanted to be there to reach out for her, just to tell her that things were going to be alright.

“No, I’ve also promised you.. that I’d take good care of her, haven’t I? I’m sorry for breaking it.”

Had I only been drifting on undecidedly like this.. all along? Just when will I finally reach the end?

It seemed as if her last strength of hope had been slowly emptying out, repeatedly evaporating within every step of the way. The single thought of being alone at this very moment, crushingly added to the misery that she had unknowingly began to felt by day. Just like this, the girl was beginning to lose control of limiting her pain, a trait of hers that was gradually shattering in place.

Between mix stages of expected anger and disappointment, she had purely felt lonely and bitter.

In a situation where she could provide nothing but empathy for her sick mother in the hospital, she realized just how much her heart was gradually breaking. Not knowing that her father had also been silently going through a rough time as well, a sense of immense guilt grew within her, for selfishly believing that she had been the only single one suffering in this broken family of hers.

The only thing she had ever wanted.. was to finally fight off the absence of her parent’s warmth.

Eventually reaching the gate of her home, she halted her movements. Instead of embracing the only source of comfort provided to her right from the beginning, Haekyung only found herself turning away. Lining her back against the coloured brick walls, she proceeded to close her eyes.

Instantly falling right to the ground, the girl hesitantly brought her arms higher up in the air, weakly enclosing it around her own body. Lightly resting her head over the tip of her propped knees, she softly trembled. Unaware of how long she had been in her current position, the density of the pouring rain had already began to mix in the flow of her tears gently streaming down the sides of her face. Incapable of picking herself back up like this any longer, she gave in.

Her walls were finally crumbling, and there was nothing she could do to build them right back up.

---

Leaning his head back, the boy directed his attention to what was currently airing right in front of him on the television placed on the other side of the room, seemingly motionless. The noise that came from it only proceeded to steadily drown out the silence that had once remained. Supporting the bottom of his chin with an arm propped over the edge of the couch, he reached his free hand forward to lightly grab hold of the remote before repeatedly changing the channels. 

This process only lasted for another hour or two, until his older brother had walked in on him.

“It’s been an entire week already, you’re still watching that?”

Jungseok peeked his head in at the doorway, appearing beside him in the living room as he questioned what his little brother had been currently up to. He was gradually growing concerned at the younger boy’s lack of energy or will in even wanting to step out of the house for a change.

Based on what he was actually seeing, it was the only thought he had on his mind that was logical.

“Yeah.” Jungkook only responded a minute later, his voice coming out rather dull. His brother lightly sighed afterwards, shifting over to take a seat next to him as he briefly joined him by the wall. He then placed a hand over the boy’s shoulder, causing him to curiously glance back at him.

“Dad asked if you could help him pick some things up at the store, you should take a little break.”

“I am taking a break though.”

His brother cracked a small smile, “Not like this, I meant going out for a long walk or something.”

“I’ll think about it.” The other boy quietly phrased, arms now folded over his chest as his eyes never managed to leave the opposite side of the room. Noticing that he had made no further movements shortly after, Jungseok gradually shook his head in defeat, casually leaving him to it.

“Well.. I’ll be back in a couple of hours just before dinner, so take your time until then, alright?”

Jungkook simply nodded, lifting a hand up in the air to wave his brother off in the distance. Just half an hour later, he found himself eventually getting sick of what he had accompanied his time with, setting the controller aside. He then glanced out the doorway of the living room, letting out a small breathe. Reaching for an extra jacket hanging off the racks, he slowly headed for the door.

Perhaps his brother had been right all along, he needed this walk more than anything right now.

One that would help him clear his mind.

Hands now gripping onto a single plastic bag lightly held by his side, he slowly turned towards the store’s exit. It actually hadn’t taken the boy that long to grab everything his parents had requested for just earlier during the day, seeing that he had now been aimlessly wandering through the empty streets of his neighbourhood, uncertain of where he was leading himself to.

The only thing he had wanted, was to process out the need of having to incessantly think or feel.

Not realizing that it was all he had learnt to do, it became incredibly hard for him to put these shattered feelings past him, knowing well that they were never going to fade, as it only grew deeper over time. There just didn’t seem to be a solution that he could follow through anymore.

Because when he thought he had finally figured things out, the pain in his chest only intensified.

Jungkook let out an empty breathe, feeling restrained.

Reaching the familiar park up ahead, he eventually headed towards a vacant bench that was directly facing the playground. The boy sat down, studying his surroundings as he settled down.

Looking far out into the distance, he gradually felt the flood of memories flash right through him.

The wind softly brushed past her, a sense of comfort falling over her as she melted into his warmth. She closed her eyes, gently tightening her hold around the boy’s waist with a soft smile.

He only glanced past his shoulder once he felt her initiate a light embrace, softening in delight.

Deciding that he wouldn’t have to wake her up just yet, he reflected the girl’s faint smile playing on her lips. Facing forward, he then resumed pedalling on ahead towards their usual destination.

Haekyung eventually stirred awake when she registered a voice calling out for her, lightheaded.

Reaching his arm towards her, the boy softly tousled the girl’s hair, chuckling in slight amusement. He then skidded his bike to a stop, spinning back around to face her. She only flushed afterwards.

“Hey, we’re here. Is my back really that comfortable though, polar bear?”

The girl avoided his gaze, “No.. I’m just feeling a bit more drained today compared to other days.”

Jungkook grinned at her reaction.

Steading his feet on the ground, he softly pulled her up from where she had been previously sitting. Nearing the entrance of the local park just up front, the two headed towards the swings.

Approaching the playground a minute later, she gently occupied the seat beside her. The girl then lightly rested the sides of her head against the chains of the swing, her gaze unknowingly falling distant as she focused her eyes far out into the distance. Realizing how quiet it was, he curiously glanced her way, noticing that she seemed to have been feeling down lately. If only he knew why.

The boy softened, “You alright? If you’re not feeling well.. then I’ll bring you home, Haekyung.”

Hearing his voice, she blinked. Sensing that he was already worried about her, she shook her head with a warm smile. Just a change of her expression alone, was enough to melt his concerns away.

Haekyung whispered, “It’s okay, I’m alright. I actually wanted to stay for a bit longer though.”

Releasing his grip on the chains of his swing, he gently reached for her right hand. Interlacing their hands together, the boy flashed her a soft smile. She felt her cheeks grow warm at his next reply.

“Then I’ll be here to stay with you, polar bear.”

Perhaps it was strange that even though they had just met a few months ago, the girl had already felt comfortable with him around as she adjusted to his presence, despite the fact that it was never her intention to fall this deep. Suddenly caught in his warmth, she couldn’t find the strength to turn away, knowing perfectly well that sooner or later, she would have to say goodbye to him.

Her eyes slowly trailed down to their linked hands, taking in the familiar temperature radiating from the palm of his hand. She questioned if this source of comfort would continue to stay with her in the future, even if he was no longer there by her side. The girl had come to learn the answer.

Haekyung then glanced upwards to meet his gentle gaze, parting her lips to break the silence.

“If there will eventually be a day that we’ll have to say goodbye to each other like this, during some point later on in time.. would you be okay with it?” Hearing her soft voice, the boy briefly halted his movements. He could feel her grasp on his hand gradually weaken in place, unsteady. Instead of replying to her question, Jungkook only tightened his hold around her hand, unable to let her fingers slip through his own security, as if he was never ready to let her go. The corners of his lips effortlessly formed into a faint smile, simply reassuring her that it wouldn’t end like this.

“There wouldn’t be a day like that, because I won’t let it happen.”

He could gradually feel himself coming back to his senses, once he felt the light drips of rain fall onto the tip of his nose. He slowly tilted his heads backwards, glancing up at the pouring sky. The clear liquid crashing down had somehow calmed his wavering heart, as if this was his only source of comfort. The boy then closed his eyes, an empty feeling built in his chest as he remained still.

Jungkook broke out of his trance, when the rush of courage and hope began to lighten his pain.

He abruptly stood up from where he had been previously sitting, gazing down the opposite side of the park towards the exit. Perhaps he finally figured out where he had to be right at this very moment. Brushing along with the intensity of the heavy rain, he noticed himself being soaked. Running forward, the boy felt his breathe hitch within every step of the way as his speed only increased. Hands progressively clenching by his side, only one single thing had weighted on his mind during this run. It had simply brought him out of his misery, steering him towards the light.

That last image of her smile in his memory was all he could currently hold onto, as if he had been running towards an endless path in order to secure what was left of her within his reach. The boy knew that it was his last chance of an attempt in trying to pick up the broken pieces of his heart, an action that had only managed tie him down in the past. Jungkook sped past the running intersection up ahead, lightly catching his breath without stopping. He couldn’t see anything else.

Because what flashed through his mind had only reminded him that their times spent together in the past couldn’t be thrown away. It was something he had learnt to treasure as time passed.

He couldn’t say goodbye to her like this.

---

The silence that lingered on seemed to have drowned out the sounds of the pounding rain, gradually ceasing it in motion as it continued to fall onto the pavement, slowly drenching down on her heart. She almost wasn’t sure, what pain was beginning to feel like at this point onwards.

Because the girl had already come to acknowledge that kind of cruel sensation a long time ago.

That was what Haekyung had thought when she was finally discovering it over time, back when everything for her had been falling apart, right up until now. It’s something that she should have eventually become familiar with during difficult times like these, so why was she feeling this way?

She wanted to know why her tears wouldn’t stop pouring this time around, leaving her crushed.

Letting out an unstable breathe, she could only continue to seek comfort from the safety of her arms, not realizing that she had been lightly shaking against the effect of the prolonged rain. Just how much longer would it finally take.. for this pain in her chest to be completely washed away?

Regrettably, it had been the only single thing on her mind that had weighted her down like this.

Becoming motionless under the fast movements of the steady rain, the girl remained quietly still, sinking further in with the ground as if it was the only place left, that had unrestrictedly welcomed her when she had fallen to the lowest point. Haekyung was slowly losing grasp of what the definition of a home had still meant to her, since the very meaning of that word had gradually faded off into the distance as she resumed closed in with the walls gently supporting her. It simply separated her from what she was unknowingly distancing herself from. Right at this very moment, she finally learnt just how much it had hurt to fall alone like this, knowing that there was no one left to catch her. Even after all this time, she was only repeatedly met with false hope.

Realizing that she could faintly hear a distinctive pair of footsteps beginning to lightly play in the background, the girl eventually opened her eyes, noticing that it had only travelled over to where she currently was. The sounds were gradually becoming more visible, growing heavier in depth.

She gently froze, as his steps finally halted in place.

Haekyung slowly glanced upwards a minute later, feeling as if she was once more on the edge of crumbling further when their gazes remained locked. Tears threatning to fall from his eyes at the way she was breaking down by herself like this, he lightly held it back as he watched her from a distance. Losing the courage to reach out for her all of a sudden, he brought his arm back down.

Promising her that he would always be there for her, he realized just how incompetent he was.

Jungkook stood still, his eyes reflecting an equal amount of pain and emptiness spread through her own, that had been quickly faltering. He could clearly see that they were stained with a flow of her tears, that was beginning to wrench at the sound of his heart instanty cracking wide open.

Not expecting that he would be here right in front of her, the girl unknowingly straightened herself up to face him, hesitation evident as she slowly melted into his broken gaze. He silently watched her every movement, incapable of speaking to her when he gradually parted his lips in the process, knowing just how hard it was to approach her like this after enduring several months of secretly breaking at the thought of not being able to be with the one girl that had still meant the world to him after all this time. Perhaps he was no longer afraid of calling himself a coward.   

In the end, he simply couldn’t bring himself to let her see him this way, not when he still hasn’t fully recovered after what happened over their days of separation. This continued silence only crashed her last hope right then, as he wasn’t aware that she was only testing herself once more.

Had he been on her mind so much lately.. that she had only created another false illusion of him?

The girl lowered her eyes to the ground, hands clutching onto the ends of her soaked shirt as she softly trembled under the boy’s gaze. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t appear this vunerable and weak in front of anyone, especially not after she had firmly reassured herself that everything would finally be okay one day. That possibility just hasn’t fallen within her reach yet.

Haekyung slowly began to felt her own voice crack.

She whispered, “I told my self that I would be alright without you, even when I knew that you were gradually going to disappear. I tried to pretend that things would be okay in the future, as if we had simply never met. And even after all these miserable attempts.. I’m still stuck like this. I wanted to find the answer as to why I’m unable to pick myself back up, but it just never came.”

The girl continued, “No matter how many times I had tried to forget you.. I just couldn’t do it.”

Jungkook felt his heart drop at her unexpected sincerity, softening as he propelled himself forwards while she only resumed speaking. He knew that he no longer had a reason to hold himself back like this, when he realized that he couldn’t make the same mistake of letting her go twice. Her sight only remained attached to the ground as she felt another round of tears form at the corner of her eyes, positioning her left hand over it in an attempt to cease them from falling.

“I just can’t figure out why you’ve always been the first person to come to my mind.. when I – “

Before she had a chance to finish what she was about to say, the boy had already taken her breathe away. Reaching out for her without any hesitation left, he pulled her towards him. Jungkook lightly rested his hands over the sides of her cheek in order to delicately calm her down. The girl only gazed into his eyes when she felt the tips of their noses beginning to touch. He then closed his eyes in the process, closing the gap between them as he gently brushed his lips over hers. She froze in place, unaware that she had only been losing herself to his warmth once more.

The boy eventually brought his arms back, securing her in a soft embrace just before he had briefly pulled back from their proximity, catching his breathe. Jungkook tightened his hold around her, quietly parting his lips to speak as he gradually remembered her words filled with sincerity.

“I’ll always be right where you need me, so please.. learn to lean on me just this once, Haekyung.”

Author's Notes:

Hey guys! I apologize for the really long wait as I’ve been quite preoccupied in catching up with life and work in general, but I hope this chapter can make it up to any of you wonderful readers who’ve been patiently waiting for me to drop an update since last year! I’ll be sure to update as frequently as I can, since I do plan on eventually completing this story.  I know it’s been a while since I’ve actually started writing this story, so thank you, for staying by me for so long and allowing me the chance to write. I’m really grateful for all of your unexpected patience and support during times that I’ve been consistently inactive on and off. It’s been rather difficult and heartbreaking throughout this story so far, but I’m sincerely hoping that you’ll all be able to find your smiles again in the near future! I promise that there’ll be happier moments for you guys to experience and look forward to from here on. You can count on it. 

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and have an amazing night or day! (: