Breaking Emotions

He realized that he was late, once he had the chance to scan his wristwatch over. The boy then quickly headed across the street, his breathe slightly caught in his throat as he finally found her.

“I’m sorry, were you waiting long?” Jungkook spoke softly.

Just hearing him speak, her heart suddenly began to ache at the mere sound of his voice. The girl made sure that her tears from before were completely dried before slowly returning his gaze. Haekyung managed to face him with a light smile, nodding her head in accordance to his words.

She responded quietly, “It’s alright, I came out just now since the weather’s cold.”

Relieved at her reply, he felt the pace of his breathe gradually slow down. Flashing her a soft smile, he instantly took note of her appearance. She didn’t seem like herself, something was off.

He breathed, “You’re really pale, Haekyung.”

Before the girl had a chance to reply, she was already beginning to feel the warmth of his palm being gently pressed up against her own forehead. Haekyung could only find herself taking one step back, not knowing why she was acting this way. She was also unable to keep his steady gaze.

Resting a palm over her forehead, she whispered, “I’m not… feeling well, I guess.”

Jungkook’s eyes began to soften, having this sudden urge to pull her in for an embrace, so that he would be able to tell her that she’d be okay. However, it all vanished once he heard her speak.

“Let’s get going then? The library closes early today. We should make use of all the time left.”

In reply, the boy only shook his head. “How about some other time? Once you’re feeling all better.” Sensing that he was still concerned about her complexity and lack of energy, Haekyung soon realized his familiar efforts in trying to take care of her. His efforts gently tugged at heart.

“It’s just a slight headache, Jungkook. I’m strong, remember?”

She gently reached for the boy’s hand, reassuring him that she was feeling okay with the remaining warmth emanating from her palm before she softly smiled up at him.

Just as she was about to retract her arm from their placement, Jungkook naturally slipped his fingers pass hers, positioning her hand into his warm ones. He couldn’t bring himself to let her go. It was as if something was holding him back, telling him that he should treasure their times together even more, if possible. Because almost anything could change within the split of a second, and neither of them would know that it was actually happening. Deciding that he was probably thinking too much, the boy let out a small breathe. With their hands still laced together, Haekyung had let it remained that way. She began to wonder just how it would feel without his warmth… and his smiles. How would things be in the future if the boy was no longer by her side?

Just then, the girl felt his palm slowly tighten around her hand.

Facing him once more, he directed another one of his genuine smiles at her. No matter how many times she’s seen them before in the past, it always causes her heart to effortlessly go off at an irregular pace. Haekyung found herself mirroring his smile, although the curve of her lips didn’t manage to make it all the way. It might have been due to the fact that her feelings were currently still a complete mess. Maybe, she just didn’t know how to pick herself back up anymore.

Jungkook grinned to himself afterwards, gently pulling her along as they began their walk to the library. “Hey, it’s just for today, alright? Next time, I’m definitely bringing you home, polar bear.”

She could only smile in response, gradually nodding to his previous statement.

Right at this very moment, she knew perfectly well that there would no longer be a next time once that line is drawn between them. She won’t have to stray too far with these complicated feelings of hers anymore. Undeniably… things will be better for the both of them this way.

“Just for today.” Haekyung repeated softly.

---

Sincerely, a part of her had never wanted their memories to finally come to an end.

In fact, she never knew that the sole feeling of letting go would have ever wounded her this much. Parting may seem to only hurt once in a while, but the girl have also came to realize that by being together with the one special person she wasn’t supposed to love, it was simply just as difficult.

Had that been how Sohee must have experienced it all along?

If it meant that she had to take away her own measure of happiness in order to prevent one another from being hurt, then she could only choose to take that path. Haekyung simply couldn’t bring herself to forget about that pained look on the other girl’s face. She could visibly remember every detail laced to that very expression presented in her eyes. They were filled with so many feelings and emotions that she couldn’t exactly define, though it would have been better if she fully understood it. Ever since then, that scene began to replay over and over again in her head.

Despite her efforts in trying to fight it away, her heart wouldn’t allow it to happen. And so, the guilt built within her right at this very moment was far worse than anything she had ever felt.

“Haekyung?” She heard him call her name from where she had been sitting.

Breaking her gaze away from her sketchbook, the girl glanced up at him with a soft hum. Jungkook pointed a finger down at his own with a slight grin, “I’m finally done with your portrait.” Haekyung was still rather amazed upon seeing it, once again surprised at his level of art. “It’s beautiful..”

He then nodded playfully, “Yeah, she’s beautiful.”

Hearing what he had just said, she only felt the colour of her cheeks turn a shade lighter. “Huh?”

Jungkook shifted forward in his seat, stopping midway as he closed the small gap between them. He stared right into her eyes from a mere distance away, presenting her a gentle smile as he began to softly speak, “I said you’re beautiful, Haekyung. I don’t think I’ve ever had the chance to tell you so.” Honestly, the boy had never thought that he’d be able to tell her this so easily.

And he hadn’t regretted a single thing, because he knew very well that he had meant every word. She didn’t even know where to start, in a deeply flustered state at his choice of words, dazed.

“It’s alright, you don’t have to say anything. I’ve just always wanted to let you know that,”

Jungkook finished as he began to look away from her, the sound of his heart beginning to race as the seconds ticked by. He bit his bottom lip, a delicate grin threatening to fall over his features.

Haekyung eventually placed her attention back to her sketchbook, gaze soft as she slowly took in his words. It only added more depth to her current feelings, that pleasant recognition creating her speechless as a warm smile graced her lips. The girl then quietly parted her lips to speak,

“It’s my first time… hearing someone call me that word.”

He found himself turning back to glance at her once more, slightly surprised at her confession. Similarly, this was also his very first time telling another girl that he thought she was beautiful.

That thought just naturally occurred to him, though he’s not exactly sure of when it happened.

Jungkook chuckled softly in response, “And how do you feel, Haekyung?”

Not knowing how to respond to that, she only stared at the boy with her cheeks slowly turning red, hands nervously laced by her side as she gradually looked away. She then began hesitating.

Seeing her like this, his only thought was that the girl looked incredibly adorable right now.

Haekyung only found the courage to speak a minute later, the sound of her heart lightly thumping against her chest. Her eyes remained connected to the portrait she was currently still working on. It was nearly finished as well, her hands moving in a rather slower pace. Because once it was complete, it would only signal the end of their days together, reminding her that this was how it was supposed to be. In the future, she wouldn’t be there to witness his beautiful smiles anymore.

“I’m just happy and glad that it was you, Jungkook.”

Gazing into her eyes, the boy froze. Her words seemed to have struck a chord in him, because he simply couldn’t stop that heartwarming smile from reaching his lips, his eyes softening in place.

Jungkook deepened his smile, “I guess.. that I’m happy to know that then, Haekyung.”

Haekyung then tried her very best to return his smile, her heart fluttering at that image of him doing so. She wanted this moment to last just a little longer, so that it could remain in her memories for a very long time. His smile, it was the only thing she would never want to forget.

Setting his sketchbook aside, the boy made his way around the wooden table. Heading over to where she sat on the other side, he slid the chair out from next to her before slowly sitting down. Reaching for her right hand, he softly took hold of it once more. Her eyes steadily followed his every movement as he gradually guided her hand over the paper, pencil lightly held in her grip.

This very moment almost reminded her of that one time far back in her memories.

Memories of when he had somehow started guiding her along the way, step by step. Perhaps everything have happened so fast that the girl almost never realized this simple fact. He had been there by her side all along and now.. she was suddenly about to finally let go of that warmth.

“You’re missing a couple of details here, Haekyung.”

Hearing him speak, she only began nodding at his little reminders as he led her on.

Time seemed to have slowed down as their hands remained gently locked. The boy’s touch simply felt so comforting. Unaware of his surroundings, Jungkook continued helping the girl perfecting her sketch, adding in changes as his eyes focused in on the page before him. She could only watch him with a gaze filled with admiration. That hard working side of him was indeed very attractive.

Just how many different charms were there to this boy? Day by day, she began losing count of it.

Three. Six. Nine. Twelve, Fifteen.

These minutes only ticked by in a flash. Haekyung blinked as she felt his hand gradually loosen in place, that wonderful ease of comfort slowly fading away. However, that feeling of longing had also came as quickly as it disappeared. Realizing what was happening, she softly held her breathe.

Jungkook closed his eyes, gently resting his head over the girl’s shoulder as he crossed his arms.

The next second, the curve of his lips began to form into a content smile, one that was able to portray just how happy he had felt. Sensing how still she was afterwards, his eyes only remained closed as he began to lose himself to the girl’s only source of warmth. The boy exhaled lightly, mind eventually drifting far off into the distance as he quietly whispered his words to her in a soothing voice. Haekyung only listened to the rhythm of his breathe that was slowly decelerating.

“Wake me up when you’re finished, polar bear. So that we can walk back home together today.”

Her eyes slowly trailed down to see that he had fallen asleep next to her. That smile of his remained on his lips even when he was no longer conscious. He had looked so peaceful right then. So calm that she wouldn’t have been able to avoid doing so. They have always walked home together in the past that it had become a habit of theirs now. Perhaps, it would be the last time..

Haekyung’s gaze softened as she gently brushed a hand over to his cheek, her heart wavering.

Even if she knew that he couldn’t have been able to hear her voice right there and then, the girl had only wanted to let him know that this time, she would be able to keep her promise to him.

“Okay, we’ll head home together today then. Just like usual.”

---

There was only about a week left until upcoming exams would be taken place.

During this time, most students were given the opportunity to spend another week preparing for these tests on their own outside of school. Therefore, it had been a relatively busy week in all. But it also could have been quite relaxing for some others as well, depending on how well they were actually managing their time. Perhaps, the girl had been spending a little too much time.

Haekyung found herself being occupied by the endless pages of her textbook, dazed.

Truthfully, she didn’t know whether she had actually needed all of this studying, or if it was only simply an easier way out in distracting herself from reality. Just one that would keep her on track.

On track of all these complications that she was currently trying so hard face alone. But now that the girl had eventually thought about it, haven’t she always been able to somehow handle all of her problems by herself in the past? So why did it suddenly become so difficult for her this time..?

Was it because she had finally learnt to depend on someone else other than herself for a change?

There was no denying that a part of her have already started to gradually miss that very person she had held close to her heart. That was when Haekyung had realized that perhaps, looking for a way out when she was only falling deeper by day, had become unexplainably hard to cope with.

His voice. His laughter. His comfort. His smiles.

Those very things seemed to have lingered on in her mind for these past few days. The girl knew that it’d be better to cut off all of these remaining feelings left. But she just couldn’t erase them.

Not when he had still meant so much to her, so much that it seemed like her efforts were no use.

Haekyung let out a small breathe, gradually lowering her gaze down to her hands. She then closed her eyes, weakly resting her head over her arms. Days like these seemed so suffocating to her. She couldn’t remember when was the last time she had actually stepped outside of her house within the span of a week during the school break. Studying was slowly becoming a tiring process.

It had also been only just a week ago when she had last seen him as well.

And yet, all she could ever manage to do was silently think about all of their times spent together. The times that were somehow already engraved to her heart and mind without her own consent. 

She had never felt so helpless and broken before.

To the point that the girl simply didn’t know what to do with herself anymore. Being in a state like this, that was probably the main reason why she didn’t have the courage to face anyone these days. That feeling of wanting to be comforted by the silence surrounding her seemed rather unhealthy. But what could she do..? Haekyung had only wanted time to think everything through.

Enough time so that she could pick herself back up from falling down again without being hurt.

For the next hour, she had remained in that very same position once more, lost in her own thoughts. But that was only until something woke her up from her trance, causing her to slightly jolt. Haekyung blinked, eventually glancing to her sides as her phone gently shook beside her. The girl slowly reached her hand forward, blankly gazing at it before checking her notifications.

It also came off as a surprise that she haven’t had the chance to skim through her phone for about a week now, only to become startled at the sight of more than ten unread messages sent to her.

However, her eyes were only capable of focusing on that one message she had just received.

Struggling to adjust her sight to the light of the screen, the girl felt her breathe slowing down by a pitch, her eyes softening in place once she realized who it was from. It was sent by Jungkook.

Can we meet up at the park nearby? I’ll be waiting for you, polar bear.

---

He glanced up at the sun setting in the sky, the amazing view rendering him speechless. It was currently only 8:32 pm. Even though the weather was still a bit chilly, the boy had a feeling that everything was going to be perfect today. Jungkook’s lips curled into a slight smile at the thought.  

I guess I’m finally going to let her know, just how much she means to me.

He made his way around the park, occupying the vacant swings on the playground. Reaching his arm into the plastic bag, he then grabbed an ice cream out before ripping the plastic out, casually popping one into his mouth. Just half an hour ago, the boy had visited the convenience store down the block before making his way over here. He simply knew very well that the girl have always loved sweets. So Jungkook had memorized her favourite brands and flavours by heart.

The boy waited for her patiently. It wasn’t long until that girl finally appeared in his vision. He then looked out into the distance, a soft smile reaching his lips as he held up his hand in the air.

Haekyung slowly held a hand up as well, waving back at him with a gentle smile.

She eventually reached where he was, looking slightly clueless as to what he had been doing. He had an ice cream cone in one hand while he was holding onto another bag as he nonchalantly pushed himself back and forth on the swings. Her smile unknowingly deepened seeing this side of him. The boy actually looked like an adorable five year old who was probably lost in the park.

Jungkook blinked, seeing that wonderful smile on her face. It simply made his day.

He chuckled softly, “How long are you going to stand there, polar bear? Come here.” Pointing to the other vacant swing beside him, he lightly waved her over. She then snapped out of her daze.

The girl nodded at his words, carefully making her way over to occupy the other swing. Before she had the chance to speak, the boy had already pulled out another ice cream cone in front of her. Haekyung only stared at it, slowly taking hold of it in her left hand. It was her favourite kind. “I know it’s a bit cold, and that ice cream isn’t exactly appealing right now. But it’s good to try new things once in a while, right?” He grinned to himself as he took another bite of it. Hearing what he had just said, Haekyung chuckled lightly, “Yeah, I guess so. Thanks for sharing with me.”

Jungkook glanced at her with a soft smile before facing forward once more, “I missed you.”

She halted her movements, heart racing in her chest as she lowered her eyes to the ground. Haekyung then parted her lips to speak, “Really? You saw me just a week ago though, Jungkook.”

“And it felt like forever to me, Haekyung.” He whispered.

Turning to face him, she was taken aback by the gentle expression shown on his face. It seemed like he had really meant it. Haekyung then bit her lips with a warm smile, “Then I guess... that I missed you too.” Jungkook’s eyes instantly lit up at her reply, his lips curving into a sincere smile.

Haekyung only looked away nervously, taking small bites out of her ice cream cone as she looked ahead. The boy chuckled at her response, gradually making his way over to where she was sitting. He then naturally placed both hands behind her back, gently pushing her forward as the bars of her swings creaked ever so slightly. She glanced back at him in surprise, wondering how long he had been standing there. The girl then quietly mumbled to him, “It’s alright, I can push myself.”

He flashed her a playful grin as he shook his head, “Nah, I just want to push my polar bear.”

She lightly flushed, eventually turning the other way as she smiled to herself. How come she had never realized just how sweet and caring this boy was? The girl really had no clue, to be honest.

I’m glad.. that we can spend our last day like this, Jungkook.

They spent about a good fifteen minutes in each other’s company, unaware of the time that was gradually ticking by. The sun had already fully set by then, the beautiful glow of stars appearing right before her eyes. Just as she had glanced up at the dark blue sky, the boy behind her then brought his arms around her neck. Holding her in a light hug, Jungkook leaned beside her, parting his lips to speak. “Hey, there’s a place that I’d like to show you. I’m sure you’ll like it, polar bear.”

The girl’s ears only turned red at his sudden gestures, about to lightly break free from his arms since she wasn’t expecting him to do that. Before that had happened, he had let her go at the same time. He then laughed at her reaction, “You look so adorable when you’re shy, Haekyung.”

Haekyung bit down on her lower lip as she quickly looked away, “I-I’m not.”

Stepping over to gently take hold of her hand, he pulled her up from her seat as he led her across the park, to where he had parked his bike just at the corner next to a tree. Jungkook had been planning to bring her to his most favourite place in the city. He hadn’t been there in a long time.

Even though it was quite far in distance, the trip there was definitely worth it, seeing how this girl wasn’t just anyone to him. She was special. The boy smiled affectionately at this realization.

“Where are we going, Jungkook? It’s getting late.” She whispered as they reached the boy’s bike.

He only patted at the seat behind him, signalling her to climb onto his bike with a warm gaze. The girl returned that warmth, her heart hammering against her chest as she gently placed her arms around the boy’s waist. Jungkook smiled as he took off into the distance, gliding along the roads.

“You’ll see once we get there, Haekyung.”

---

Eventually coming to a stop, the girl only let out a small breathe as she took in her surroundings. Haekyung’s eyes gradually lit up in realization, her lips slowly curving into a delighted smile. The endless lights and beautiful glow of the city welcomed her as she faced forward, the view rendering her voiceless. Looking past his shoulder, the boy found himself reflecting her smile.

I’m glad that I finally had the chance to bring you here, Haekyung.

Jungkook lightly placed his palm over her hands, his gaze trailing down to see that she had been gently embracing him from behind even then. He then chuckled softly, “We’re here, polar bear.”

Haekyung blinked, quickly releasing her arms around the boy’s waist in slight embarrassment.

Lacing their hands together, he led her down the path of the bridge just up ahead. Next to him, she softly glanced down to their hands, her cheeks faintly growing warm at his touch once more.

Hearing his voice, the girl lightly snapped out of her daze.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it? I haven’t been here for more than a year since I’ve discovered this place.”

Following his gaze directed at the scene before them, she slowly turned the other way. Haekyung felt her breathe hitch at the sight, a pleasant smile reaching her lips. “It’s wonderful, Jungkook.”

Just right in front, a large lake flowed beautifully across the canvas, the lights of the city surrounding them danced on the waters of the reflection. The two of them stood on the bridge, admiring the view in a comforting silence. He gradually glanced down to study her, his eyes softening. To him, she had looked so happy. Even if there was only a slight smile playing on her lips right at this very moment, he knew very well that it had meant so much more than just that.

“You’re the very first person I’ve brought here with me, Haekyung.”

She blinked, halting as she slowly turned to him. “Really?” He nodded in response, flashing her a small grin as he extended his arm towards her, lightly ruffling the girl’s hair as she kept quiet, her hands unknowingly clenching by her side as she felt her heartbeat steadily increase at his actions.

They found themselves staring far out into the landscape, enveloped by the soothing scenery.

Haekyung lightly folded her arms above the silver railing of the bridge, her eyes fixated on the sparkling waters that waved back at her. He had done just the same, except the boy had been occasionally focused on her as well, a content smile on his face as he watched the girl he adored.

Several minutes passed until the boy beside her began to stir, causing her to curiously peer down at him as he casually bent down to inspect the ground. Gathering a few pebbles and rocks laying against the floor just beneath their feet, he straightened himself back up before turning to her with a lively glance. Haekyung stared back at him, slightly confused when he had placed a few into the palm of her hands. They ranged from all sizes, ordinarily light and heavy alike in features.

Jungkook grinned playfully, “Do you want to play a little game, polar bear?”

Seeing that silly expression on his face, it only caused her to smile back at him. “Sure, what is it?”

He nonchalantly took a step back, positioning his right arm into the air at the perfect angle before easily releasing a sharp and accurate throw into the distance. The rock bounced across the waters, smoothly creating eight single ripples on the surface of the lake. Haekyung only gaped.

The boy had made it seem as if it was the easiest thing in the world to him when it clearly wasn’t.

She breathed, “How did you… do that?”

He chuckled at her reaction, shaking his head at her lack of words. “Practice makes perfect.”

The girl only nodded at his words, still unable to process what he had just done. It was actually pretty cool, seeing how he had effortlessly done that within the span of three seconds. Just that.

“So what are the rules for this little game then?” She asked, amused.

Lowering his eyes at remaining pile of rocks placed in his hand, he glanced back up at her as he parted his lips to answer her question. “We’ll take turns for the throwing. The first person who manages to reach three consecutive bounces across the water wins.” He then stopped mid-way.

“Oh, and the winner gets to request one wish immediately after.” Jungkook finished with a grin.

Hearing him explain the rules of the game, the girl had a brow raised, slightly baffled at the winning requirements. “Really? You do know that I probably won’t even be able to score two ripples, right..?” The boy stared at the girl for a long second before letting out a soft laugh. Haekyung bit her lips with a playful frown, gradually angling her head the other way to avoid him.

“Nothing’s impossible, alright? Just give it a try, Haekyung.” He encouraged her softly, reaching where she stood beside him as he tried to glance up at her only to have the girl turn the opposite way once more. He pouted adorably at her. She grinned to herself, “Fine, I’ll give it a try then.”

“And what’s up with you and wishes, Jungkook? I’ve been granting them ever since we’ve met.”

He turned to her in amusement, “Hey, a man has his needs, polar bear.”

Haekyung only held back the urge to chuckle at what he had just said, steering herself to face the lake in front of her. He smiled, doing the same as well. “I’ll be starting first then, Haekyung.”

She nodded, calmly waiting for him to do so as she held her own rock in her hand, wondering how hard it would be to skip it across the waters exactly three times. Probably not as easy as it seemed, definitely. She watched as the boy’s rock only bounced against the surface two times. Had he been going easy on her right now? Haekyung let out a soft sigh, a small smile on her face.

Her turn came as she slowly tried mirroring his actions from before, eyes fairly focused.

Surprisingly, hers skipped two times as well.

That was quite a good record in her opinion, since she’s never had the chance to experiment rock skipping before. Eventually, seconds moved by within the game in a flash. The two remained silent as their gazes remained glued to the lake, slowly waiting for one another’s turn to pass by.

So far, she hadn’t been able to score a three yet. During the game, Haekyung made sure to mentally take note of the scoring in her head. Just then, her eyes slightly widened at the sound.

One.

His rock skipped by cleanly three times over the waters after his fifth try.

Jungkook’s eyes softened as he parted his lips to speak, “Ever since I met this girl, I never knew why I’ve always wanted to keep her by my side. Close to me so that I won’t lose sight of her. In the end, she made up a part of me along the way, although I wasn’t sure of what I’ve felt for her from the start. I’ve grown so used to her beautiful smiles.. as if they had meant the world to me.”

Only silence fell upon his words.

Haekyung froze, surprised at his sudden confession that she wasn’t exactly sure who it was directed for. He hadn’t mentioned the girl’s name after all. Regardless of that, her heart only fluttered in place, her palms nervously growing sweaty. She didn’t know what to say even then.

And the boy was alright with that. He wasn’t expecting her to reply so quickly.

It wasn’t long until he had scored again, his gaze remained focused as he studied the light ripples.

Two.

He let out a small breathe, a gentle smile slowly reaching his lips as he remained composed. “That was when I realized just how much I had needed her next to me. I found myself reaching out for her, though it was rather difficult for the both of us at first. It amazed me to know that there were so many different sides to this girl. I guess it’s safe to say that I’m starting to love all of her.”

She slowly turned to face him, not knowing where to start.

His expression revealed so many emotions all at once that it was suddenly confusing for her to figure out how he was currently feeling. She had never seen this side of him before in the past.

However, it didn’t stop Haekyung from softening up, her lips partially opened as she hesitated.

The girl could only repeat those words that he had sincerely poured out to her, her heart and mind gradually going numb. For some reason, it felt as if he had been indirectly talking about her.

Even though she had never been one to make conclusions that fast, his words simply felt real.

Three.

He had won. For the first time right then, Jungkook turned to face her. Haekyung softly glanced back at him, unaware of what was about to happen. His smile lightly deepened in place. Reaching his hand forward, he gently brushed his fingers over the girl’s cheek. “I’ve always wanted to let her know just how much she means to me, let her know that I want to be the only person who can make her happy.. and to tell her that I’ll always be there for her when she needs me.” He came to a pause. The girl held her breathe, not at all expecting that these words were his wish.

“I’m just glad, that she’s here with me right now.” He finished, quietly whispering the last part.

Before she had a chance to react, the boy had already swiftly pulled her forward by the arm. Jungkook then gradually brought his arms around her, gently holding her in a warm embrace.

Haekyung froze once more, unable to process everything that was happening.

The only thing she could hear, was the sounds of her heart pounding wildly against her ears as she took in his scent. Extending her arms forward, she began to slowly embrace him back, lightheaded. His words eventually started to sink in, her lips faintly curving into a sincere smile.

The boy’s thoughts.. had been meant for her all along.

In response, he simply found himself tightening his arms enclosed around her waist, lightly resting his head over the girl’s shoulder. Her breathe softly hit against the sides of his neck, delicately reminding him that at this very moment, she had been returning the warmth that he was currently providing her with. He smiled in delight, gradually bringing his left arm higher up in the air. Time seemed to have slowed down for the both of them, exhilaration seeping through.

Heart expanding in her chest, she felt the boy’s fingertips gently caress the back of her head.

“I’m in love with you, Haekyung.”

She halted, her breathe caught in . Her eyes quickly rounded in realization. Suddenly feeling weak and overwhelmed by the tone of his gentle voice, sorrow began to close in on her.

That single feeling of wanting to be happy, steadily faded away from the depths of her mind.

Perhaps once that kind of feeling was recognized, melancholy had also found her. It seemed as if nothing felt right to her anymore. The girl couldn’t lie to herself. She didn’t want to pretend that it was okay. Thoughts of possibly hurting another person she had held dear simply frightened her. To the point that she would much rather hurt herself in the process than let someone else go through the same kind of pain she had experienced in the past, back when loneliness enveloped her. The kind of bitter and emptiness she once felt before this very boy had appeared.

She knew, that person was also none other than Sohee.

Haekyung felt herself closing her eyes shut, hands lightly gripped against the back of the boy’s jacket for comfort. She wanted to remember this wonderful feeling for just a little longer. Long enough so that she won’t regret letting him go. Her arms began to lose strength, gently pulling back from his embrace as she gradually lowered her eyes to the ground, her gaze soft and broken.

Jungkook lightly let out a small breathe, startled at the girl’s retreating steps as she began to distance herself from him. Soon enough, he simply felt his heart shattering right to the ground.

That feeling leaving him numb and senseless.

“I don’t think… that I’m the right one for you. It can’t happen between us. I’m sorry, Jungkook.”

---

He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

The passing lights that surrounded him soon became a faint blur, the beauty behind it eventually dissipating into thin air as time elapsed. There had been no pleasant significance left in them any longer. The cold wind of the night slowly brushed past him. This time, he couldn’t feel anything.

He wanted to tell himself that he was feeling okay, that everything was going to be okay.

However, he knew that the simple thought of being able to do so was far out of his reach right at this very moment. That feeling of wanting to shut the world off around him suddenly occurred to him as he gradually glanced around him. Laughter and warm smiles. They were everywhere.

The boy realized that he was the only single person without one on. Just him.

How did he even manage to become like this? How had he fallen so low..? These questions continued to linger on his mind. He had been sure that after tonight, things would finally be right.

That she would finally be right next to him, just like how he had always imagined it to be in the past. Those days when their smiles were frequent, those days as if he had been an innocent child falling in love, such moments when neither of them would know just how much they would come to eventually hurt one another later on in time. These thoughts simply never crossed his mind. 

Perhaps, he had been a fool all this time.

The fool who didn’t know how to control his feelings. The one who simply couldn’t handle the consequences of falling deeper, not predicting that he would only find himself crashing right through reality. He remembered that it had been a bright one before. But now, it was anything but that. The boy let out a depleted breath of air, swallowing the lump in his throat as he stilled.

Eventually, his heart began to burn with regret and disappointment.

The boy had never felt this way before. Like every other person experiencing their firsts, he didn’t know how to chase his pain away. It weighted down on him, restricting him from breaking free.   

Securing his bike away, he entered through the front door of his home the minute he arrived.

Jungkook made his way past the living room where his parents and older brother were, without being noticed. The three had been engaged in an intimate conversation, the sounds of their bright laughter filling up the room. For the first time ever, he didn’t want to become involved.

Not when he looked like he was about to break within the next second. As if he was on thin string.

His steps only became heavier, as he lifelessly travelled up the staircase to his own room located on the second floor. Pushing past his bedroom door, the boy lightly slammed it shut behind him.

Not knowing what to seek comfort in, he then headed straight for his bed.

He found himself glancing directly up at the ceiling, his gaze unfamiliarly empty and blank. Realization gradually struck him as he slowly turned his head the other way. There by the bedside table sat two small photo frames that had been placed there for a while now. His eyes softened as he studied it. One of them was the group picture back when Haekyung had joined him and his family for dinner, his arms gently locked around her neck. She had her usual frown on, one that he simply adored. The other was a shot of her smile that he had captured during the school trip.

The two photos contrasted so much.

He began to remember those clear memories as if it had happened just yesterday.

Reaching his hand forward, the boy lightly positioned his left palm over the back of the two frames, reluctantly placing them faced-down so that these images were no longer in his sight.

Had all of their times and memories spent together in the past.. meant nothing to her at all?

By then, he felt as if he had just reached his limit.

The boy closed his eyes, placing his forearm over them as he felt himself sink in deeper into the mattress of his bed. His felt his throat dry up, his body still as that bitter feeling took over him.

It didn’t take long until that very source of pain had revisited him once more. 

Jungkook didn’t try to fight it away, his right arm still weakly resting over his eyes as he struggled to let out even breaths between his inhaling. The only thing he could feel, were the light flow of tears travelling down his cheeks as he remained motionless, unaware of it happening within time.

Slowly breaking, he was.