Hurtful Realizations

It felt as if nothing seemed to be processing through the girl’s mind at this moment.

Her lips went dry, eyes widening in surprise at what she had just heard. It finally hit her when she blinked. Haekyung felt her chest tighten, the pounding of her heart registering through her ears.

Huh..?

Looking into her eyes, his expression only began to fade when he realized what he had just said.

Damn, did I really just say that out loud..?

He had no idea what suddenly prompted him to speak his mind, but seeing that it had to come out one way or another, things only managed to feel right. Though he might have looked pretty calm like he normally did, the truth was, his heart had been reacting in an equal manner as well.

And it didn’t really help that the boy himself had a rather hard time trying to break the silence.

To be honest, if there was only one thing he was completely sure of, it was the fact he would never be able to ignore that look of hurt. Even though it was pretty rare of her to express such feelings, he just couldn’t bring himself to simply do nothing about it. So with that in mind, Jungkook soothingly tightened his hold around the girl’s hand, his gaze softening by the minute.

Haekyung only parted her lips nervously, losing the ability to speak as she felt dry up.

Sensing that the girl wasn’t going to say anything any time soon, the boy released a small sigh, not knowing whether or not he had actually made a mistake in revealing his emotions all of sudden. It only became frustrating. Really, it almost didn’t make any sense, but what could he do about it? Just what could he do, when she the only one who was able to make him feel this way?

I better clear things up, before they get even more complicated.

Before he even had a chance to speak, the door of his bedroom suddenly creaked open, easing the slightly awkward atmosphere. Turning his attention to the door, she did just the same thing.

“Jungkook, have you eaten dinner yet? Oh – “ Mrs. Jeon stood at the doorway, almost surprised.

Both of his parents had just gotten off work, curious as to whether some late dinner needed to be prepared or not. They just hadn’t expected company at this time of the day though. Peering over his wife’s shoulder, Mr. Jeon quickly found what the woman had been so distracted by just then. He only smiled warmly when his eyes landed on her, gesturing for the girl to join them.

“Haekyung, would you like to stay for dinner?”

She returned that smile politely, shaking her head in response. “Thank you, but I’ve already eaten.” Mrs. Jeon almost pouted, disappointed that the girl hadn’t been planning to stay for just a bit longer. Catching that look on her face, the man only stifled his laughter, placing an arm around her shoulders affectionately. “Come on, I think we’d better leave the two alone, honey.”

However, it didn’t really stop the boy’s mother from growing more excited than usual.

Oh heck, weren’t all mothers alike anyway? She thought it was absolutely adorable, just how much time their son spent with another girl in trying to finish a group project when he has never been really been bothered to, seeing that he liked to complete things by himself most of the time.

Mrs. Jeon’s eyes brightened, lacing her hands together when an idea occurred to her.

“That’s alright, you could always have seconds. We’ve got tons of materials to cook with, isn’t that right, dear?” Turning to her husband with knowing eyes, Mr. Jeon shook his head with a grin.

Oh, of course.

“Right, we could even make dessert! Would you like blueberry and cream flavoured snacks?” The boy’s father continued on, while his mother piped in as well, “And what about chocolate and – “

Jungkook blinked at his parents rambling on back and forth, wanting to mentally face palm himself for just how embarrassing they were being. Thank god he actually cooked earlier, or else, the girl might have actually had to stay for dinner again. However, the girl only lit up with a smile.

She just loved how warm and outgoing they were.

They were admirable traits that she could probably never fully grasp hold of, knowing how hard it was for her to regularly express her feelings without feeling guilty or accidentally being hurtful.

Gazing up at the clock, time seemed to have passed by rather quickly over the last few hours.

Jungkook then glanced back to his parents, who were this close to heading back out to the kitchen to prepare extra meals. He groaned to himself in embarrassment, slightly making a face, “Dad, you don’t have to. I’ve already cooked for us just a few hours ago. I’m sure she’s full by now.”

The man arched a brow in interest, amazed. Their son actually cooked?

Reaching for her arm, he gently pulled her up from where she had been previous seated, causing a look of confusion to form on her face as she followed suit, although a bit rushed. The boy then handed her back a number of things that she owned, neatly transferring it back into her backpack.

He then turned to his mother as well.

“Mom, it’s getting pretty late. So I’ll be bringing her home, alright?”

Mrs. Jeon blinked, before a knowing smile reached her lips. Quickly pulling her husband back by the arm, the parents stepped over to the sides to let the other two pass. “Alright, make sure to stay safe guys. Don’t stay out too late!” His father softly spoke up as the said girl passed him by.

“Got it.” Jungkook replied nonchalantly.

Haekyung slowly cracked a small smile, “We’ll make sure not to. Take care, Mr. and Mrs. Jeon.”

“See you soon, Haekyung.” The boy’s mother added, reaching a hand forward to softly ruffle the girl’s hair. In response, she nodded lightly, flashing the latter a soft gaze as she bit her lips.

Somehow, it made her miss the warmth and company of her own parents, though it might had made her heart feel heavier than usual whenever thoughts of them occurred to her. Haekyung only managed to snap out of her daze once she felt the boy’s steps come to a complete stop. Turning back around to face her once they were on the bottom floor, he softly glanced at her.

Her heart skipped another beat, when he took another step towards her.

Reaching for an extra snapback that laid on the clothing rack behind her, Jungkook lightly placed it over the girl’s head, tucking away a few strands of her hair before gently positioning his hand over hers. Even if he hadn’t done that, she thought that his warmth alone was just enough.

Jungkook gradually flashed her a small grin once he realized that she had been staring up at him, slightly confused but nonetheless grateful at the same time. He then parted his lips to speak,

“Just in case you might a bit feel cold, polar bear.”

---

Since the girl haven’t had the chance to use her bike today, the two had to walk back in the cold weather by foot. Normally, it would have been a slight problem for her, seeing how much she had disliked the cold and the temperature. But this time… things seemed to have changed a bit.

The icy wind softly brushed past her, the weight on her foot becoming lighter within each step.

Not knowing where to look, Haekyung had her gaze fixed on the ground, her hat occasionally tipping downwards as it shielded the soft expression presented in her eyes. Only the sounds of their steps and light breathing could be heard in the empty streets, creating a soothing silence.

He looked ahead, unsure of what to really say.

Even though neither of the two have said a word all this time, the boy had wished that this walk wouldn’t end too soon. It was pleasant to be with her, knowing that it was all he needed anyways.

So that was how things were, for the past twenty minutes on the way back home.

Haekyung blinked, her mind gradually weighing down on a particular line that seemed to have lingered on longer than it should have, causing her heart to slowly react. At first, those words didn’t seem to have any particular importance when she had first heard it, but the more it played in her head, the more she found herself eventually smiling. She then bit her lips to conceal it.

However, it didn’t go unnoticed as his eyes casually caught on to her smile that was just there a couple of seconds ago, causing his breath to slow down by a pitch. There it was again. That smile.

He found himself mirroring her actions, the corner of his lips effortlessly tilting upwards in delight.

Just a couple of seconds later, the girl also found herself taking the courage to set her eyes on the boy beside her, her gaze somewhat curious. When their eyes met, Jungkook flashed her a sincere gaze, one that was enough to melt her heart. Haekyung stared at him in astonishment, twisting her lips nervously as she quickly looked away, embarrassed that she had been caught.

Damn, she should have just kept her eyes glued to the floor.

But for some reason, the girl didn’t regret that decision though. For the first time ever, she felt the urge to look his way. She wanted to make sure that he was okay, despite his sudden silence.

Hearing his soft chuckle, she only ducked her head lower, her hat once again falling downwards. Everything seemed to have been changing bit by bit, whether she knew it was really happening or not. Because even though she wasn’t entirely aware of it, his voice suddenly sounded so comforting and wonderful to her ears. It easily made her feel at ease, that simple realization rendering her speechless once more. Had she always been this clueless with how she have felt?

If so, then she could only wish that her heart would be able to openly accept these feelings later on, no matter how confusing it might have seemed. Soon enough, Haekyung halted her footsteps.

Eventually lifting her eyes off the ground, she took in her surroundings.

It was only until then that she realized her house was just right in front of her. Perhaps she was too deep in her thoughts to have noticed before. Her gaze wandered over to the quiet boy beside her, about to speak when he had beaten her to it. Jungkook naturally brought his hand higher, slowly tilting her hat higher so that her eyes would no longer be hidden beneath them anymore.

He bit his lips with a charming smile, retrieving his arm as she looked into his eyes once more.

Sensing that it was about time to go and that she would be safe right here, Jungkook parted his lips to speak, his breathe coming out as a quiet but soothing whisper, “Goodnight, Haekyung.”

Breaking his gaze from her after those words left his lips, he felt a soft tug on the palm of his right hand, restricting his movements. Looking past his shoulder, the boy blinked in slight confusion, wondering if she had something left to say to him. Haekyung only found herself slowly hesitating.

Brushing those second thoughts away, she took the courage to speak her mind.

“U-Um…”

Jungkook gazed down at her, unsure of what she had wanted to say. He encouraged her with a soft smile, “What is it?” Getting lost in those gentle brown eyes of his, she continued to speak.

“Y-You know, about what you said earlier… Did you...”

It wasn’t really a complete sentence, but the boy had a hunch of what she was trying to confront him with, his mind flashing back to the scene just a while ago when he had let those words slip.

And what if I told you… that you’ve always held a special place in my heart, Haekyung?

Sensing that she was having trouble trying to put her words together, Jungkook only assured her thoughts with a genuine smile, softly glancing down at her while she momentarily froze. During those seconds that those very words left his lips, Haekyung’s heart only fluttered in realization.

“I meant every word, Haekyung.”

It was as if that was all she needed to know, before her expression gave all of her emotions away.

Reaching for his hand, she gave it a light squeeze, her lips curling into a warm smile. In response, he could only blink, somewhat taken aback by her rare gestures. But even so, he snapped out of his slight daze. Glancing down at her affectionately, he felt their hands softly intertwine.

Haekyung eventually pulled her hand back, unable to hold their gaze due to the way he was looking at her right about now. He had always done so, but why did it feel so different this time?

For all those times that I’ve pushed you away before… I’m sorry.

Taking initiative this time, the girl softly glanced upwards at the boy once more, her eyes filled with sincerity and warmth. He could only feel his heart gradually melt in seeing this side of her.

“Goodnight, Jungkook.”

---

Passing by one of open classrooms on the fifth floor, he casually turned to the clear window, halting his movements. Stopping at the door, the boy briefly poked his head in, gaze curious.

Landing his eyes on her, the corner of his lips softly tilted upwards.

Hearing the scraping of the chair next to her being pulled backwards, her hands that were occupied with the knitted piece of fabric froze. Sohee blinked, almost surprised at his sudden appearance. Had she been that focused just now? The boy chuckled at her flustered state, taking a seat next to her as he observed what she was currently doing. It seemed like her usual routine.

Piles of scattered notes and a couple of opened textbooks lay on the surface of the girl’s table, managing to take up quite a lot of space. He would have assumed that she was only studying.

But there had been something else on her mind this time, that she had also resorted her time to.

It wasn’t exactly stress related or anything, but rather another activity that had done the job in keeping her feelings locked shut. And she could only continue to appreciate that simple distraction. Lowering the half-finished scarf onto her lap, Sohee looked ahead with a distant gaze.

Honestly… what am I even doing?

Sensing her saddened expression, Taehyung’s eyes followed the girl’s movements in concern.

“What’s up? I haven’t seen you for the past week, Sohee.”

Sohee flinched, instantly snapping out of her thoughts as she tilted her head upwards only to meet his gentle eyes. Trying to ignore what she had been holding earlier, she flashed him a small smile, “Oh, hey. Just the usual, I guess.” Raising a brow at her short response, he inched closer to where her seat occupied. Lightly peering over one of her shoulders, he pointed down at her lap. He thought that he had memorized every fact about her, only to see that he was wrong.  

Taehyung grinned, “So you were actually knitting a scarf all this time? Hey, I’m impressed.”

Somewhat embarrassed, Sohee could only muster out a soft chuckle at the boy’s sudden compliment. It wasn’t even finished, and yet here he was, always being the one there to tell her otherwise. “Yeah... I guess it’s a new hobby apart from all the studying, you know? It’s nice.”

He nodded in understanding, almost wondering who she was making it for.

Little did he know though, that every second she had come to spent on that very scarf amounted to everything that her bitter heart would never be able to let out from this moment onwards.

That was just how it was, whenever that person was involved. And truthfully, it hurt every time.

Because whenever she had come to thought about him even when she tried her very best not to, it only reminded her of what reality was really like at this point. It was the fact that he had always been someone who was in her memories, the one who was always there by her side whenever she needed him, and now… he was also a person who had his heart set on someone else. If only she would have realized how she felt sooner, then things might have been different.

It just… might have been. But it was already much too late for second chances.

Sohee let out a soft sigh, clutching tightly onto the scarf in her hands. Should she really finish what she have started? It was never her intention to really pass it even for a second, but now that her gaze focused on the bright red fabric right in front of her, her decision only became more unclear by the minute. Right beside her, Taehyung’s eyes only softened at the way she looked.

He parted his lips to speak, his voice soft.  “You know, I’m starting to miss that grin of yours.”

Hearing what he had just said, she turned to him in surprise.

He locked eyes with her, a small smile lingering at the corner of his lips once she blinked. Sensing that he was still worried about her, the girl tried her very best to let out a soft grin, despite the lack of energy. It was the least she could do, after all those times that he had been there for her.

In response, Taehyung could only chuckle heartily at how silly she looked, extending a hand forward to playfully pinch her on the cheek, “Nice try, but I guess that’ll do for the time being.”

Sohee deepened her smile, eyes softening.

“I’m sorry if I seem a bit out of place these days, it’s so unlike of me, right?” She whispered.

His hand that had been softly brushing against the girl’s cheek was now brought over the tip of her head, slowly caressing her worries and insecurities away. Taehyung’s smile eventually faded.

Don’t be sorry… it was never your fault in the first place, silly.

Perhaps, he was beginning to understand how this girl before him was really feeling, despite her reluctance in pouring out her emotions as she had always been the one to mask her problems.

Not exactly knowing how else to comfort her, he only managed to flash her a soft grin, pulling his arm back once he figured out that she must have felt a tinge better. “You’ll always be that bright and amazing girl I’ll come to remember, so don’t try to bottle up all your problems away… okay?”

“Because I’ll always be here.” He finished.

Sohee felt her heart falter, hearing those very words come out of the boy’s lips.

As long as she had known him, she was aware that he had never been the one to take initiative when it came to solving other’s issues. Noticing this, it only encouraged her to lighten up.

Everyone had those days where they felt as if nothing was going their way… right? So why should it have bothered her up until this extent? There are always answers to everything, despite the fact that it only takes time. As of now, time seemed to have been slowing down for her, because the ache she felt wasn’t going anyway any time soon, even when these feelings weren’t right.

Putting those thoughts behind her, she let out a small breathe.

Sohee parted her lips to speak, her voice soft. “I guess you’re right, I should have more confidence in myself, right? I shouldn’t have to feel this way, even if things don’t seem to be working out.”

Taehyung nodded with a slight smile, relieved to see a part of her empty eyes slowly vanish.

He hated seeing her this way, he hated that he couldn’t be the one there to replace whatever her heart had been longing for, but at least he was gradually making process. He wanted to see that usual smile on her face that would brighten up most of his day, just like it used to in the past.

With all of this happening within such a short period of time, realization sure did struck him hard when his eyes began to open right up before him. Kang Sohee was no longer just that one girl.

To him, she was beginning to weigh a significant part of him, a place she had managed to enter.

Eventually, the boy’s eyes slowly focused on the red scarf on her lap once more, curiosity filling his mind, but before he had the chance to speak, the afternoon bell sounded throughout the school, signalling the end of lunch break as the empty halls began to become crowded again.

He fixed his gaze on Sohee for a split second, checking to make sure that she was going to be okay, even if he had to hurry back to class. Flashing her a small grin with a wave of his hand as she did just the same, Taehyung turned to head for his next class, his back turned to her as he began to saunter out of the room. Stopping in his steps, he briefly turned back around once more.

Hearing his soft voice, Sohee lifted her gaze from whatever she had been doing before.

He casually pointed at the scarf that she had set aside on the surface of the table, letting out a quiet chuckle, “Hey, I’m sure the person who’s going to receive that will love it.” For a second, the girl just blinked in surprise at his words, her lips slowly curling upwards as she nodded hesitantly. Before he could hear her reply though, Taehyung had already swiftly left the room.

Sohee only glanced after him, startled.

Cleaning up her belongings spread over the table, she gathered it into her bag one by one, letting out a soft breathe as her eyes unknowingly shifted towards the bright red scarf.

“I guess... that I hope he’ll come to like it too then.”

---

Hey. I’ll pick you up from where you are today, so don’t go anywhere. Alright, polar bear? (:

Upon reading his message, Haekyung responded with a light grin. The girl was supposed to be meeting up with Jungkook in the library to finish up the final touches for both of their sketches today. But that isn’t until an hour from now, so she figured that studying was a fairly good option for the time being. Quickly typing in a reply, she set her phone aside before making a small trip to the bathroom to freshen up. The girl headed back to where she had left off after doing so.

“Hey, get back here Minseo! That’s not fair!”

“No way, I know you’re just going make me catch you all again!”

A few kids were currently running around the café chasing one another, accidentally bumping into several tables along the way. At their play, some of her books fell to the floor with a crash. One of the little girls from the group quickly ran over afterwards to apologize, lightly gasping.

“We didn’t mean for it to happen, we’re so sorry, unnie!”

Seeing that adorable expression plastered on the little one’s face, Haekyung flashed her a soft smile. “It’s alright. Just be more careful from now on, okay?” The girl nodded with a bright grin, joining the rest of her friends on the other side of the café. Turning to the books scattered on the floor, Haekyung bent down to carefully pick them up while she inspected them for any damages. 

Few of the closed materials were hers, with the exception of an opened one due to the fall.

It belonged to Sohee.

The other girl must have unknowingly left one of her belongings the other week before during their study session. So as of now, Haekyung made sure to keep it in her possession until she had the opportunity to return it back to her. It wasn’t her intention to invade the girl’s privacy at all.

But seeing the delicate page of writing before her, it almost seemed like a journal entry.

Placing the notebook on the table, Haekyung found herself reading the very page that had been opened from the beginning. It was dated about a month ago, and only a page long or so in length.

The words printed, they seemed so fragile in a way that it was hard to process emotionally.

She almost wasn’t sure if it was indeed Sohee’s handwriting as she read along. But it had to be. Promising herself that she would only read that one entry, Haekyung closed the girl’s book shortly after, gently placing it aside. The words lingered on her mind, her heart slowly swelling to it.

It was rather… painfully heartbreaking.

---

“So where are you heading now?” He asked nonchalantly, breaking her out of her daze.

Walking along the halls with him on the first floor, she almost had her eyes glued to the floor the entire time. Neither did the girl had much to say as well. Seeing that it was unusual of her to act this way, Jungkook softly peered down at her, studying her for a minute longer than necessary.

Is she not feeling well?

Sohee glanced up at him with a bright smile, “I’m heading home.”

The boy nodded, relieved that she was at least managing a smile. He was so used to seeing that cheerful side of her that he almost didn’t recognize how distant she seemed these days.

“I’ll walk you halfway there, then. It’s just on the way to that place across the street as well.”

“The café?”

He smiled, “Yeah, I told Haekyung that I’d be picking her up so we’d finish the art assignment together.” Sohee bit her lips as she looked ahead with an unreadable expression, “Haha. It’s okay, I wouldn’t want you to be late.” Instinctively, he stretched his arm sideways to pull her in closer.

It’s not okay with me seeing you this way though.

Her heart unknowingly thumped against her chest once she felt him softly ruffling her hair beneath his palm, the boy’s quiet laughter ringing in her ears, “It won’t take long, okay? Besides, the other guys all went home already. I might as well accompany you back, right?” In response, Sohee could only hesitantly nod at his words, a very faint tint of red painted on her cheeks as she lowered her eyes to the ground, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to notice it this time as well.

“Thank you for accompanying me back, then.” She spoke quietly, her voice coming out softly.

Ever since the two met during middle school, he had somehow always been the one of the few in his group of friends to look out for her. Though he might not have detected it, they were a part of his routine ever since. In all, he had considered her as one of his closest friends among the other boys, so naturally, it’d only make sense to take care of one another in situations like these.

Jungkook glanced down at her, a familiar lopsided smile etched across his lips at her compliance.

“You’re welcome, Sohee.”

---

That feeling when you’re afraid of losing the one person special to you more than losing yourself in the process, it’s difficult… isn’t it? I really never thought that such feelings would overlap me.

Reaching a hand into the pocket of his jacket, he unlocked his phone. There was a single reply from the girl he had just messaged. Reading her message as well, his lips curled into an effortless smile. He couldn’t believe that just a few words from her could brighten up his mood like that.

Okay, idiot. I’ll wait for you right here, then. :)

Is that how one should be feeling once they realize that they’re really in love with that person?

Questioning himself of these thoughts when it occurred to him, the boy only weighted those feelings down, his heart corresponding to it as memories of himself with her flashed right before his eyes. Not entirely aware of it himself, he began to deeply treasure these moments a lot more.

It honestly didn’t take long until he found the right answer. Jungkook deepened his smile in realization. No matter how I see it though, I guess I really do love you. So just wait a little longer.

Just until I have the courage to tell you so, Min Haekyung.

At the same time, Sohee could feel her heart clenching at the sight before her. That wonderful smile painted on the boy’s lips meant so much to her, and yet… she also knew perfectly well that it never belonged to her in the first place. Had it been possible to hurt more than what she felt at this moment? Softly glancing up at the boy once more, she found herself mirroring his smile.

I guess in the end, I can’t help but choose to keep him close to me instead.

Coming to a halt at the stoplight before crossing, a crowd of people gathered around them as they waited for the lights to turn green. During this silence, the girl stood close to the boy, their shoulders gently brushing. Deep in her thoughts, she almost lost control of her footing once several students pushed past her to get through. Startled, she let out a quiet gasp, alarmed.

The closer we are, the more my heart breaks. It simply cracks open once I know I’ve gone too far. Too far back into our memories, and far too eager in escaping this kind of reality.

Instead of crashing forward, the only thing she felt was a pair of strong arms supporting her shoulder, his warmth seeping through her. From how close they stood, the boy’s breath softly hit against the back of her neck. Sohee blinked, quickly recovering from her unstable temperature.

Jungkook carefully helped her up, “It’s good that I caught you in time. You’re not hurt, are you?”

You’ve always been there to help me through, and I can only say a simple thank you. I remember always telling you that I’ve been okay in the past. I hoped that my answer would stay the same.

Sohee only nodded, a grateful smile tugging at her lips once she saw a sign of worry reflecting from his light brown eyes, “Yup, I’m okay. It’s my fault for being so clumsy. Thanks, Jungkook.” He exhaled a soft breathe in relief, glad that she didn’t scrap herself or anything. Seeing that she was fine, he released his grip around her shoulder, flashing her a silly grin at her carelessness.

But truthfully, I’m not okay.

“Have you always been this clumsy though, Sohee?” He chuckled lightly.

She turned to him with a quick glance, “Strangely, I’m beginning to whenever you’re around.”

Jungkook frowned playfully at her words, “Hey, are you telling me that I’m your source of misfortune?” Upon seeing his expression, the girl held the urge to smile as she decided to face forward this time, her sight no longer on him as it was becoming harder in keeping a strong front.

There were many instances that I’ve wanted to break down and cry. And then I realize, that would be too selfish of me to do so. Instead, I always reminded myself to think brightly of our good times.

“Not exactly.” Sohee shrugged, grinning to herself.

“But what’s the difference though?” The boy huffed, nudging her on the arm as if he was unsatisfied with her response. She nudged him back lightly, an equal hint of playfulness showing.

Ones that were enough to pull me through these hardships, and times that I’ve tried to move on.

Before the boy could retort, he let out a few sneezes one after another in the span of a few seconds. At this, the girl finally turned to look at him once more, worry glazed to her eyes as she studied him. Lightly rubbing his hands together, Jungkook dipped his head lower into the collar of his thin jacket. Without thinking, Sohee loosened the bright red scarf she wore around her neck, her hands softly clasping onto the material as she gently placed it around the boy’s neck.

As much as you had always been there for me all this while, I’ve always wanted to return that favor someday so that no unsettled or bitter feelings are left between us. Just once is enough.

Jungkook blinked, his eyes trailing downwards at the warm material resting around his neck. Feeling the scarf between his hands, the boy looked towards her in slight confusion.

Sohee smiled up at him warmly, “I actually made this for you.”

He parted his lips to reply, “Really?”

“Yeah, just a week ago… I guess I never planned on giving this to you though. I didn’t really know if you’d like it, or if it the colour suited your preferences. So – “

Ceasing midway in her sentence, the girl stopped herself as she felt her breathe hitch in place. Her cheeks lightly flushed at his gestures. Jungkook gently placed a finger over her lips, a grateful smile evident as he stared down at the red knitted scarf just beneath him. It was quite nice.

Retrieving his arm, he adjusted the scarf on his neck. “Thank you, Sohee. It’s perfect.”

She bit her lips with a soft smile, delighted that the boy had liked her gift. She was also glad that those sneezes had stopped right after as well. After all, winter was nearing and the temperature was gradually dropping by day. Somehow, this walk back home made her notice several things.

Even though things will remain unchanged from here on, I hope that I can gradually find happiness on my own, and that in the near future, you’ll only become a pleasant memory of mine.

This simple trip back home together was soon coming to an end.

Through this comforting silence that they shared, the girl looked ahead of the path they both walked on, recounting all of the other times that he had accompanied her in the past. Perhaps the only difference was that this time, she was the only one hurting in this so-called friendship that she’s come to treasure so much. It was one that she couldn’t risk losing, despite all the joy that came with it. Maybe these beautiful recollections are steps in helping her slowly move on.

It’ll only hurt now. So surely, things will get better as time passes by them both. It hopefully will.

A memory I can easily look back on and smile upon, realizing that you must have found your source of happiness back then as well. So that in the end, I won’t regret this simple heartbreak.

Jungkook stopped in his steps a couple minutes later.

He simply turned to her afterwards, gesturing a finger across the street at the café located just upfront. “Are you going to be okay getting back by yourself from here?” In reply, she nodded at his words, somewhat surprised that she hadn’t exactly noticed their quick arrival just then.

Sohee flashed him one last smile, waving a hand up in the air. “I’ll be okay.”

However, that gentle smile of hers only began to fade after the boy smiled back at her in return, his back turned to her as she slowly felt their distant grow within those very few seconds of their parting. Clenching her hands by her side, Sohee hesitated as her eyes remained on the boy’s back.

The girl only found her body moving without her mind’s consent, arms stretched out wide.

Feeling a warm pair of arms lightly attached to his waist, he froze. He wanted to turn around and ask the girl if she was feeling okay, but decided against it once he felt her unsteadily shake behind him. Not knowing what to say, the two stayed like that for a minute long, only the sounds of their breathe filling up the silence. Before he had a chance to speak, Sohee had beaten him to it.

“Thank you... for everything, Jungkook.”

---

Finished up with packing her things, she glanced at the large clock hung on the wall. 5:03 pm.

Realizing that it was time for her to go, a gentle smile reached her lips as she recalled the boy’s message earlier. Was he still on the way? Curious to know if he had arrived yet, Haekyung proceeded towards the café’s exit, pushing past the glass doors before slowly stepping outside.

Looking around, he was nowhere to be seen yet.

Deciding to wait for him just beside the doors of the café store, the girl placed her hands into the pockets of her coat. It sure was getting colder. Because even the smoke of her own breathe was visible as she withdrew a small breathe of air, the substance easily disappearing into thin air.

During those minutes that seemed to have passed by rather quickly due to being lost in her thoughts, her mind drifted back to Sohee’s journal entry that she had just read half an hour ago.

Haekyung bit her lips with soft sigh. She could only continue to wonder if Sohee was… alright.

Not exactly knowing the entire story first-hand, the girl couldn’t really pin down the details of those words in the entry. All she knew was that, it portrayed a completely different side of Sohee. Because whenever she was with her, that girl had always been very optimistic and bright.

It was quite confusing, to be honest.

She then blinked, snapping out of her thoughts once she spotted the boy.

Looking out into the distance, she deepened her smile as she took a few steps forward, halting midway in realization. Apparently, Jungkook was saying goodbye to someone. The girl was able to get a clear view of who he was talking to once he shifted out of angle. Haekyung watched as the girl had a hand raised, a warm smile stretched across her lips as she watched the boy leave.

What happened next flashed right before her eyes in a span of five seconds. Those few seconds gave away all the answers to her confusion earlier as she witnessed the look on Sohee’s face.

Had she ever seen the girl look so broken before?

Haekyung’s breathe caught in as she watched the girl rush forward to gently embrace him. Those heartbreaking words played over and over again in her mind like a broken record.

I hope that I can gradually find happiness on my own, and that in the near future, you’ll only become a pleasant memory of mine. So that in the end, I won’t regret this simple heartbreak.

In just five seconds, the girl had come to realize that all of those pained feelings and complications were for none other than the boy in her arms. She watched as he gradually placed a comforting hand on Sohee’s palm, calmly still as he silently listened to her quiet voice that was thanking him.

Jungkook had a mixture of surprise and concern written over his eyes.

The guilt was slowly building up inside of her, finally learning just how hurt Sohee must had felt.

Haekyung couldn’t find the strength to move, her heart weighing down on her as she slowly lowered her eyes to the ground. Hurt and confusion took over her as she suddenly heard drips of water meeting the pavement. Raising her arm, she gradually wiped away the tears that formed at the corner of her eyes. It only resumed flowing as she began wiping her eyes with her sleeves.

Was she really… crying?

From all the other times that she has found herself breaking down by herself, she was beginning to understand why her tears wouldn’t stop this time around. She finally knew the reason.

Perhaps it was because after all this time, the girl learned just how much she had come to love this boy. He was someone who had encouraged her to gradually open up her heart to him and the others around her, a person that was willing to stay by her side despite all her imperfections.

One that makes her heart continuously flutter as her smiles grew more frequent by day.

She thought that just perhaps, it was okay to return these feelings because she felt content. Happy without knowing that her actions only brought pain to another person who could do nothing but suffer alone, not being to tell anyone about it, unable to express that hurt she felt. If the girl had known this sooner, then she wouldn’t have opened up her heart, she wouldn’t have let these surge of feelings take over her emotions, she wouldn’t have hurt anyone in the end because of her ignorance. She convinced herself that these were really the reasons for her tears.

However, Haekyung had also failed to realize that she was crying because she had already gone in too far. Too deep to cut these warm feelings, their memories, and his beautiful smiles loose.

How could she… when they meant everything to her?

Through the tears, her eyes finally began to sting, the sounds of her silent cry echoing through the brick walls. It hurt so much when she only knew that there was no way for her to give him up. That one boy she had already held close to her heart before she had the chance to let him know just how she had felt about him in return.  She closed her eyes, trying to catch her breathe.

Haekyung simply didn’t know what to do with these feelings anymore.