For the first time in a long time, Namjoo was sitting beside him. How long this moment might last, he didn’t know. Sehun knew though that he wanted to keep it long.

The grave fear that had shaken her eyes made him feel bad for spilling the news. If he hadn’t said it she wouldn’t have come with him. And he…didn’t want to go alone.

Namjoo kept her eyes trained outside of the window; her hands fumbling with the bottom of her shirt nervously. A frown of worry eased over her face and stayed there during the whole drive. It made his heart feel sore when he saw it and he wished he could reach over to hold her hand. Sehun was really tempted, but he was afraid too.

When he found a place to park his car in the hospital parking lot Namjoo pushed the door open right away. He could hear her footsteps thumping against the concrete toward the hospital when he hurried out of his seat, even forgetting to take his keys which slowed him. Once inside he caught her looking back and forth in the lobby before disappearing down a hallway. Without wasting a second to pause he dashed after her.

Namjoo was barely in the elevator when he caught up, but even when they were in the elevator they didn’t talk. He couldn’t find the right words in his head to say; whether to ask her if she was ok or to make small talk The atmosphere didn’t seem to be deserving of that kind of talk, so he stood there quietly with disappointment.

The doors opened a while later and Namjoo stepped out confused before he grabbed her arm to pull her toward the pediatric department. For the first time she didn’t put up a fight allowing him to pull her along peacefully. The bright yellow shade of light overhead dimmed out on him and all he felt was the warmth of her.

They paused in the middle of the intersecting corridors confused after wandering through the maze-like hallways. Sehun stared at the plaque marking the door numbers beside each doorway before Namjoo suddenly pulled out of his hold.

“Luhan!” He heard her shout as her soft footsteps became thuds against the carpeted floor.

Turning he spotted a figure standing across an open door who shifted upon Namjoo’s call. Sehun watched her grab his arm; his heart sinking.

+++

“Ki Hoon…how is he?” Namjoo despairingly asked with eyes full of anxious concern.

Nothing…nothing should happen to her son. He was the only one she had. He was her heart and her soul and the one she loved most.

“I just got here,” Luhan explained then suddenly peered down the hallway on instinct to see Sehun standing across the hall.

“You should’ve told me…” Namjoo felt her eyes sink to the ground feeling like an incompetent mother.

“I told you not go to work today,” Luhan turned his eyes back to her.

Namjoo peered into the room, but couldn’t see her son from their angle. “What are they doing to him?”

“The doctor’s just checking up on him,” Luhan told then offered a completely calm smile before patting her back to comfort her. “He’ll be fine. Ki Hoon’s a strong boy.”

“Are you Kim Ki Hoon’s parents?” The doctor walked out.

Both Namjoo and Luhan turned caught off guard. The doctor that walked out had a friendly face full of smiley wrinkles and greying hair. A seemingly gentle expression settled on his face with curving lips of good news.

“Your son’s having a high fever right now, but it should go down overnight if he’s kept warm. I’ll have some medicine prepared for him and he should be all better by the end of the week,” the doctor explained.

After thanking him Namjoo heaved a sigh and automatically turned to look at Luhan with a broad smile of relief having forgotten all about Ki Hoon’s biological father.

Ki Hoon sleepily stared back at them on the large bed he was lying down on when they walked in. He looked like a tired doll that had been played with too much. The slight redness in his cheeks made Namjoo feel so sorry that he had to be sick and instantly wished she could be in his place.

Walking over Namjoo smiled painfully and placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning down to look at him.

“Are you cold? Mommy’s sorry.” Grabbing a tissue from the side table she wiped the snot coming down his nose. “Lets go home, ok?”

Ki Hoon let out an unhappy sort of cry, “I want Han Han. I want Han Han!”

His tiny hands pushed against her and Namjoo turned around to look at Luhan confused.

“I’m here,” Luhan stepped forth and Namjoo watched, taken aback, as Ki Hoon reached his hands out for him.

The way Ki Hoon settled his head along Luhan’s neck reminded her of the days when he used to carry him around as a baby. Exactly why was Ki Hoon throwing a sudden fit for Luhan?

Namjoo continued to frown before Luhan smiled, “Come on, lets go.”

She followed Luhan out of the room and stopped in her steps when she heard her name. Spinning around she spotted Sehun behind them. Feeling struck that she’d forgotten him she stared.

“Can we talk?” Sehun asked.

Overcome with a kind of discomfort and worry about what was in Sehun’s mind she turned back to look at Luhan as if he could make a decision for her. Luhan only looked passed her toward Sehun silently as if measuring him out. Ki Hoon, their son, had his eyes closed; unaware of the presence of his real father.

“I’ll go pick up Ki Hoon’s medicine,” Luhan informed and turned away coolly with Ki Hoon tucked safely in his arms.

How Sehun felt about seeing his son with someone else, Namjoo could only imagine. Was this right at all?

When she turned back to him his eyes were on her quietly as if making comments about her discreetly behind his mask.

“About Ki Hoon,” to her surprise he didn’t say anything about her or Luhan. “Can I get to know him?”

The stiffness she’d built up toward him shattered in the instant he talked about his son, and how he asked for permission…made it all wrong.

“Can’t I…spend some time with him too…so that he can get to know me,” Sehun further went on. “He’s my son too, even if you don’t like it…we can’t change that now. You can’t take my right of being his father away. You already took 3 years of him from me, so just a few times a week; let me be with him.”

Deep in the hidden crevices of her heart where the depths of her emotions went further than just into her bloodstream, a kind of sorrow was building up. Her fingers repeatedly ran through Ki Hoon’s soft hair as his head lay on her legs while he slept the drive away. There was so much she hadn’t talked to anyone about, so much no one knew. The one who had kept her going all along was Ki Hoon.

If not for the day when she found out she was pregnant, she would have lost herself within the crowds in the street; perhaps even submerged herself elsewhere. No one would have looked for her and no one would have known.

If not for her son, who she carried within her for 9 months, she wouldn’t have lived at all.

“Namjoo,” Luhan’s voice broke into her head.

Lifting her head up she glanced forward.

“We’re here,” Luhan announced.

“Oh…” Namjoo managed and looked out the window to see Luhan’s house in her view.

Once the door opened the weight on her legs lessened she scooted out of her seat.

“Are you ok?” Luhan glanced down at her worried.

“I’m ok.” Namjoo offered a smile of pretense.

“I don’t think you are,” he didn’t believe her, “you didn’t hear me during the drive.”

Guilt flushed through her and her gaze drifted to the ground. Stepping forward she wrapped both hands around his arm to slightly lean against him to call forth some kind of comfort. Luhan twisted his head to look at her quietly, Ki Hoon still asleep in his arms. The moment of silence gave her peace and knowing his presence was there with her drove a bit of the sorrow away.

+++

Hayoung’s gaze had been glued to the ground when she walked out of the empty Day Care. The streets were sullen and quiet, dry of presence. Spotting a pair of feet brought her to a drowsy pause before she looked up to see Sehun leaning against his car.

“Hey,” he greeted.

They stared at each other quietly; Hayoung needing to sink in the fact that Sehun had come to meet her. A smile only appeared on her face when he held out a cup of coffee out to her; their usual common ground, coffee. It had also been what initially started them off.

Walking toward him she took it from him before shifting to lean against his car beside him.

“Sorry,” Sehun apologized, “for lately. So that’s my bribe.”

Hayoung stared at the ground to allow his apology to sink in. It made her feel better and she immediately forgot how angry he’d been with her, the way he’d acted toward her.

“Thanks for calling me,” Sehun thanked. “I really appreciate it. It made me realize I do want to be a father.”

Hayoung turned to look at him to see a somewhat peaceful, yet sad smile there.

“Ki Hoon…isn’t the name we decided on,” Sehun told. “I wanted to call him Namjoon, she must’ve thought I was joking but I wasn’t.”

Hayoung didn’t feel the warmth she’d been expecting. It began to hit her that someone had had Sehun before she.

“She was my first love,” Sehun reminisced, “maybe she isn’t too pretty, but her heart is big and the way she talks is charming. You can see a ray of light in her eyes when she looks at you and she doesn’t know how to be selfish. She always gives without expecting. The way she carries herself is just lovely. She’s a masterpiece.”

The enchanted smile on his face talked of the indescribable passion he had for Ki Hoon’s mother. It was the first time she’d seen him look so dreamy in the way he talked as if he couldn’t get enough talking about what he loved most.

Sehun looked…almost happy.

Like his son he never looked that way with anyone else…and it had to be when he talked about Namjoo. And Hayoung knew without asking that he still loved her very much.

Sehun laughed a moment later as if he’d gone too far and seemed a bit embarrassed. Witnessing him like this was heartbreaking for her because she never saw this side of him, never knew he had this side to him.

“We never argued before,” Hayoung said. “I came to realize that. It’s interesting the things you see about yourself. I was kind of relieved seeing you upset the past few days. I thought to myself, ‘Ah…so he’s like this too.’”

They turned to look at each other and Hayoung smiled friendlily.

“You’re home!” Her mother hurried toward her with her arms outstretched, took her by the arm, and propelled her into the large sitting room full of velvet red chairs.

There was a huge book on the table by the window and when her mother sat her down opened it up. Models in various wedding dresses appeared before her eyes, all donned in matching makeup, and hair that had been perfected.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” Her mother questioned. “After the engagement you’re going to need to start preparing for your wedding. It’s better not to waste time and do it now. Have a look through it. The dressmaker’s going to come tomorrow to take your measurements, so don’t make any appointments.”

Hayoung glanced at her mother who was already walking off to call the maid for a cup of tea. When her eyes zoomed in on the book she flipped through it before stopping.

Sure, an idea of a dream wedding sounded nice. However, she recalled all too well of Sehun’s family who were two without him. By no means, it was only right for them to be together but Sehun wasn’t with them. Yet, was she willing to take Sehun’s chance to be with them away?

Was she willing to trade his happy family life for her dream wedding?

+++

Namjoo’s gaze fell on Ki Hoon who had earlier thrown a fit because he wanted to sleep with Luhan for the night. He was now technically asleep in the guest room, the room Namjoo used to sleep in after exhausting himself from crying. Worry, anxiousness, and remorse filled up the empty space inside her soulless eyes.

Luhan turned from her to look at Ki Hoon before running a hand over his head and stood.

Taking her by the arm he led her out of the room announcing to his parents as they headed for the door, “We’re going to go get some clothes for Ki Hoon to change into. We’ll be back.”

Pulling his door open he waited for her to get in. Namjoo turned to shoot him a look.

“What?”

“Get in.” He gestured his head toward the seat.

Withholding a sigh she pressed her lips together and slipped into the seat. She didn’t speak along the way there. He knew something was on her mind she wasn’t talking about; there were a lot of things she wasn’t speaking of, but it was just like her.

Luhan wanted to pry into her head, but he most wanted to wait for her to speak with him. She had things to say and she would say them when needed, so he’d wait.

The sky was just about darkening when they started up the steep road toward her house. Namjoo had her hands tucked into the pockets of her jacket, but she didn’t speak yet. Then on the other hand, when the house neared in sight, he thought he shouldn’t wait.

“Ki Hoon said some interesting things today,” Luhan began when they stepped into the house.

Namjoo turned to look at him.

“He thinks you’re angry at him; that it’s his fault he doesn’t have a father.”

Namjoo turned away with a distraught smile coming onto her face, a kind of baffled snort falling through her lips.

“What have you been doing, Namjoo, that he gets upset like that?” Luhan asked.

“I haven’t done anything.”

“He told me you haven’t been sleeping.”

Namjoo lifted her eyes up from the ground, still choosing to remain silent.

“What’s wrong Namjoo?” Luhan slightly leaned to the side to have a glimpse of her face. “Why can’t you talk to me? If something’s bothering you, talk to me.”

She didn’t say anything and Luhan pressed his lips together to repress himself from heaving a deep sigh out of irritation.

“Namjoo.” He tried again.

Namjoo shrugged him off before swiveling to face him, “What’s wrong? What’s wrong is you! That I sit there every night thinking about how good you are and how much my son likes you…”

His mind blanked at the unexpected outburst and for some reason his heart started racing.

“And?” He asked.

Namjoo glanced up at him really quickly before looking away. Heavy silence overwhelmed them while he waited for her to go on with much expectation. He didn’t think Namjoo thought much about him at all, so to hear that he was a problem to her…was news.

“And,” Namjoo quietly started up, “just…I thought we could…try…” she stole another look at him embarrassed and he waited anxiously having waited for this, “seeing each other.”

A slow smile started through his face before it became broad, overtaking him immediately. His heart crashed, rolled into a pit, and burst into flames. He’d waited for this.

“So…that means… I can finally kiss you now, right?” He asked.

Namjoo quickly glanced up at him and he saw shyness splinter over her face and his heart rolled again. She was nervous because of him…and to know it felt great.

“You have to ask?”

Quietly laughing he hesitated to bring his hand up to cup the side of her face into his palm before enjoying the moment of drawing closer. Tilting her head back he parted his mouth to feel their lips interlock seconds later and his world blossomed for the very first time. 

***Well there's a mix of happiness and sadness in this chapter. Yoohoo <3 The main reason for HanJoo happening in this story is because I want to show that it's human nature to fall off track, seek romance elsewhere when current circumstances seem impossible; which for HunJoo it is just the case. It's life, things happen no matter the mistake. Romance will blossom, but things will still end the way they will end. I'll still promise this to be Sehun x Namjoo's story, just in case anybody is freaking out over HanJoo's romance. 

***Break has started and I'll try to catch up with writing! :DD