“Can we talk for a moment?” Hayoung asked.

 What to say? Did she want to talk with Sehun’s girlfriend?

Her hand clamped up and she realized Luhan had squeezed her hand.

“I guess I’ll go,” Luhan said, “I’ll call later.” With a smile he added, “Rest up.”

Namjoo nodded. Luhan released her hand before walking back down the way they’d come and when he disappeared she still didn’t want to turn toward Hayoung. She didn’t quite want to talk with the person who triggered her memories of Sehun.

Without a word she took a few steps forward and started to unlock her door, still deciding on whether to invite this woman in or not. Namjoo had to admit she was embarrassed of showing her ugly house to people like them.

“I,” Hayoung started in case she was left outside alone, “left the engagement.”

Namjoo was just about to twist the knob, but her grip froze. Her eyes sat on the door without movement. The words, though, made their way to her brain very clearly. She got the message, so what was going to happen next?

“Are you trying to make me feel guilty?”

“No,” Hayoung shot back immediately.

She opened again to retort, but stopped and lowered her head before twisting her fingers up.

“Sehun…do you know how he’s been like lately?” Hayoung went on.

Namjoo tightened her grip on the door and started to turn it. She wanted to know if Sehun had been miserable like her or if he’d been even more miserable. Knowing it as a fact though, that his misery had him prisoner wouldn’t make a difference anyhow.

“He lives in his room, he sleeps all day, and he listens to his mother.” Hayoung told desperately. “If you don’t want to hear me tell you to go back to him, then let me ask; what did you do to him”

Namjoo pressed her lips together wondering what she was doing in front of the door. What was she doing listening to this person babble on?

“Is it wrong to be happy? Why are you so afraid of it? Why can’t your son have a father, you a husband?” Hayoung went on despairingly with the questions, her hair falling over her shoulder as she leaned forward to further interrogate her. “Sehun would die to hear Ki Hoon call him ‘daddy.’ Just imagine it; how happy he’d be. So why…can’t you let him come back to you?”

Because there are circumstances, there are difficulties and she didn’t want Ki Hoon to be pulled in.

Namjoo turned to spite her, but the words caught themselves in when she sat tears falling down her face. Confusion spanked her and Namjoo ran her eyes over Hayoung wondering what exactly it was that was wrong with her.

Why…was she so desperate to get her and Sehun together?

“I,” another tear fell from Hayoung’s face, “was never hugged by him. Sehun never kissed me either, and today for the first time in months, he told me I’m pretty. And it hurts that he’s only reserved these things for you. To tell you you’re beautiful so that he can hug and kiss you, because you’re the only one he can see.

“So why, can’t he show you how he feels? Why can’t he come to you without having to fear rejection? A lover shouldn’t have to fear that. When will you stop letting him from living like an empty soul? You did nothing wrong and Sehun did nothing wrong either. How much will it take for you to tell him you love him?”

“Why? Who says I do?”

Hayoung shook her head, “There’s no way any one person can hide such feelings.”

Namjoo turned away after a spiteful, yet better smile climbed onto her face with a breathless snort. Finally turning the knob she stepped into her home and closed the door after her. If she so as much got swayed by her words, this was the end for her.

Closing her eyes to repress her surging emotions Namjoo leaned against the door.

“I know you’re disappointed in me, but I just want to know; did you mean it when you told me you loved me?”

How could she know? How could she be so sure she’d said those words with sincere meaning?

Namjoo still couldn’t find the answer to what love really was.

+++

After taking a long shower with the hot water raining down on him Sehun was now finally sitting on his bed. He’d thought the engagement would go as planned, but now it seemed like something else was in the planning. Their parents wouldn’t leave it as it; he knew that for sure, so he had no expectations. Once Hayoung returned to her home, another talk would ensue. This time around, perhaps it was the wedding.

Sehun stared down at his hands allowing his mind to drift off into blankness. The ringing of his phone woke him up minutes after.

It was Hayoung calling.

“I’m outside your house.”

After he hung up he started down the stairs in a robotic manner.

“Where are you going?” His mother poked her head out of the waiting room when she heard footsteps.

“Outside.”

“Why? Go back to your room.”

“Hayoung…is out front.”

She looked surprised before smiling expectantly, “Is that so? Then go ahead.”

His eyes darted toward the floor then he started forward as if he should be hesitant about what he was doing. As he pushed the front door open a wind of freedom collided into his face in greeting. The luscious green yard captivated his sight before he walked the long way toward the gates. A car was waiting out front.

The metal clinked against each other noisily before he stepped outside where Hayoung was waiting for him.

Scrolling down the window of her car she said, “Get in.”

The drive was short and Hayoung drove quite slowly anyway. Sehun didn’t know what was going on.

“Why did you do it?” Sehun asked.

“I,” Hayoung went on, “have no desire to be with you.”

Silence remained on his lips.

“Sehun, wake up.” Hayoung urged. “Do you need me to slap you back to reality? This…isn’t you. I hate seeing you like this.”

“What’s wrong with this? You hurt your parents, you know that?”

Hayoung shut her eyes before swerving to the side of the road and turned the engine off.

“I don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself,” Hayoung turned to him, “there’s no reason for you to hurt like this. Sehun-ah, you don’t want me. I know that. From the start, it’s always been Ki Hoon’s mother. Maybe I don’t know it, but I can feel that you love her to an extent no one knows. Why, why did you stop going after her?”

Sehun stared very blankly ahead without much thought processing through his brain. The view of the casually busy street was all he could see. There was a minimum amount of people walking around, but barely any cars passed by the tiny roads. It was almost empty.

“She doesn’t love me.” The words ran through his lips naturally as if he hadn’t thought them at all, and when he said it a pain stung at his heart. An urge to cry developed inside him, but he refused to let it out.

“No, Sehun…”

“Why? Why do you care?” Sehun asked, his tone deep and quiet, but full of despair. “You wanted to get married, didn’t you?”

Hayoung opened to speak and shook her head.

“Listen to me. I’m sorry. I…even if I’m selfish, I still care about you. Did you know that you’ve never once happily smiled in front of me? I can’t stand to see you like that. If you don’t do this for yourself, who’s going to do it for you? Don’t you think that if she doesn’t love you, she would have gotten married by now? Do you think the two of you can keep lying forever? You’re going to regret this forever if you don’t do something about it now. And I would rather bleed than see you not cry at all.”

The tears enveloped in her eyes and shone inside the car. They looked like tiny stars transplanted within her eyes.

“I want you to be happy, so go pursue her and don’t give up. Take her out on a date and confirm your feelings again, whether you can really give her up or not. Huh?” Hayoung begged before pulling the keys out of the ignition then held them out to him. “Have her for today.”

She dropped the key into the palm of his hand on his lap and opened the car door to walk away. Sehun was left alone with his thoughts for a long time, his fingers grazing over the cold metal. A car passed by in the total 15 minutes he spent sitting in the passenger’s seat before he finally looked out. It was then that he recognized the street as the one in front of Namjoo’s home; the street where he’d sat with Luhan that night. It was that night he last talked with Namjoo.

The truth was that he very much missed her.

Stepping out of the car he slowly walked up the street, pausing in front of Namjoo’s small home. The remnants of that night blurred in his memory and he remembered the ache he experienced that night.

Sehun stared at the door wondering if Namjoo would even open it for him. Obviously, there was no need to confirm his feelings. What he needed to confirm were her feelings; if she was really confident in giving him up.

Sehun had never once given her up.

With a slightly deep breath he knocked on the door and waited. If Namjoo opened, he’d take her; and if she didn’t, he’d go back home. Because by now he didn’t believe he had much power to change anything. Not anymore.

He stubbornly waited for half a minute before turning around refusing to feel the physical sinking of his heart. A step forward quickly brought him to a halt when the door unlocked and opened.

Spinning around he stared at his precious lover, his insides crippling with tears of joy. He wanted to touch her, pull her in for a hug and cry out relief. Not even that could express the feelings he had for her.

He stepped toward her and stopped with a far enough gap between them. Namjoo said nothing in return, which left him hoping that she was dying in happiness as he.

“I went to the engagement today,” he said quietly, “it didn’t go as planned.”

He didn’t expect a reply, but Namjoo gave him one.

“I know.”

“I did good,” he asked with tears b beneath his eyes, “right?”

There was a faint sadness on her face when her eyes landed on the ground and she slowly nodded.

“So,” he forced himself to continue instead of crying just because he was happy and relieved, but yet; the bitter sadness drowned him, “come out to play with me today. I want to go watch a movie, to the amusement park, and have dinner.”

Sehun gulped down the constriction in his throat and pressed his fingers into his palm.

“Will you come with me?”

She rose her eyes up to look at him and nodded quietly.

Their first stop was as said; the theater. They went together in an awkward friend-like manner. He supposed they looked like to strangers who met up occasionally, but didn’t know each other well.

After purchasing tickets they went to the refreshment stand to each buy their own snacks to munch on. Namjoo bought her own before he could offer to pay for her, but in the end because of the busy line she ended up dropping her cup of soda.

“Forget it,” he told her when she started back to stand in line for another drink, “you can have mine. The movie’s about to start.”

Sehun pushed his drink into her hand and Namjoo hesitantly took it. Inside the theater he could hear Namjoo quietly eating popcorn beside him and he thought about how comforting it was to just feel her beside him. It was ok if she didn’t lean against him or rest her head upon his shoulder as she used to. He was happy just being next to her.

In the middle of the movie Namjoo held the soda out to him. He stared at it somewhat hesitantly, because sharing a straw now wasn’t as it used to be. He was afraid Namjoo would feel uncomfortable about it, but she didn’t withdraw her hand so he ended up taking the soda. As he drank away he realized he was quite thirsty and silently happy that Namjoo was still considerate of him.

The trip to the amusement park was even more fun. It didn’t take him long to decide to let loose. Since this was their first time together after a long three years Sehun wanted to make it as memorable as possible. Whether they were ex-lovers, old friends, or current strangers didn’t matter after all.

Sehun wanted new memories to look after and preserve. He wanted Namjoo’s laughter and to share her joy. He wanted to be carefree and forget everything just for a few hours.

That, he thought, they could do. Today, he would have her just for today.

And the pain inside his heart easily subsided when they became surrounded by a joyous crowd. Noisy chatter and screaming children penetrated the air along with the loud vibrations of the roller coasters and other rides. As his eyes scanned the park he thought that they didn’t need to reenact the lives of young lovers. Even strangers could have fun together here.

“Want to play?”

Namjoo turned to look at him, “Play what?”

“To see who chooses the first ride.” He said. “Rock-paper-scissors?”

With calmness she overlooked him and held out her fist.

“Rock.”

He stared at her hand lost and confused before laughing and pushed her hand away naturally. They walked away with laughs at the joke. Since he allowed Namjoo to choose the first place they ended up in a House of Mirrors where they eventually got lost.

To hear complaining and laughter from her when she walked into the mirrors made him happy. It freed his spirit as if the hand around his heart had disappeared, leaving him to be relaxed. It also felt like he was sinking in a tub of warm water. The calm soothed his skin and Namjoo’s voice in his ears was a massage from the sun kissed sky.

When they finally made it out he hurried them toward the next destination as if making it a race. While the sun beat down on them he suddenly felt young again as if the past three years were nothing compared to what today was. Sehun didn’t think he had ever been so overjoyed.

After a long check, the roller coaster they were on finally started off. The wheels raged underneath them and the rumbling from it crumbled into the air as the wind swept against them. This thrill was a treat to his sore heart, an escape from everything.

He wanted Namjoo to feel the same way; that whatever difficulties she’d been facing alone could be swept away with the wind, something that came and disappeared over her shoulders.

When the drop approached he shot a side-glance at Namjoo. He hoped she was having good thoughts. Throwing away all hesitations he seized her hand and raised it into the air as they fell down the slope with screams. An overwhelming sensation of freedom ate him up and his body felt light with a throbbing security. The feel of Namjoo’s hand squeezing his gave him utmost delight and as the ride continued she didn’t let go.

They stopped for cotton candy afterward and sat in silence, preoccupied with their own separate thoughts.

“Are you having fun?” Sehun wondered, his eyes on a group of friends walking by. “To be honest, I’m enjoying this more than I thought I would.”

“Yea…” Namjoo quietly responded.

“Has Ki Hoon been here before?” Sehun was curious.

“He’s scared of the rides.”

Sehun smiled at the image of his cute son crying inside his head.

“My mom smiled at me for the first time in a long time today,” Sehun told with a small smile dangling on his lips. “I felt proud, like I did something good.”

Namjoo slightly turned to look at him and Sehun turned to meet with her eyes a second after.

“I feel the happiest today.” 

***Hayoung cries for them i~i She's so pure hearted /me wants to cry too

***I realize I always have some kind of chilvarous character in my stories haha~ That's the essence of a good story

***HunJoo finally together for a moment ;~; There will be more to come before another fight starts and Sehun goes mad again and you will all get really sad