“Thanks for the ride,” Namjoo said opening the door when he pulled up to the store and stepped out. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

“Why are you in such a rush?” Luhan hurried out after her. “Just give me a sec.”

Namjoo stopped in her steps and turned around wondering about what else he had up his sleeve, “What is it?”

He pressed his lips together as if trying to form up words. Instead of speaking he pulled a hairclip out of his jacket pocket and shot at her a wholesome smile.

“I got this for you,” he told then made a reach for her hair pulling part of it back and gently clipped it on, even adding a final touch with his finger to make sure it was secure. “There, you’re prettier now. It’s cute. Ki Hoon would say his mom’s cute too.”

Namjoo’s lids fluttered and reached a hand up to touch the hairclip, but he grabbed her hand to stop her.

“You’re going to mess it up,” he worried. “Just leave it. I put it on well.”

A slight frown crossed her face and her eyes moved up as if she’d be able to see it. She listened to his short laugh at her attempt before glancing back at him. If there was a specific occasion, she didn’t know about it. She was certain it wasn’t his birthday, so what made that day so special?

“There is something about you this morning,” Namjoo became suspicious. “What did you do? Fix yourself up overnight?”

A loud amused laugh escaped him this time.

“Lunch, remember,” he tapped her head playfully then hurried back to his car, waving to her before he got in.

+++

Sehun turned to watch the car that man owned pass by before turning back to glance at Namjoo who was heading into the Cellular Store.

Who was he? That man…who was he?

Sehun felt his mind blare and his heart constrict.

How could Namjoo let someone touch her hand? Even give her a measly hairclip? Who the hell was that man?

He turned to stare at the road as if he’d be able to find out the identity of that man from the back view of his car. It was then that he caught sight of phone he’d purchased the day before from the corner of his eyes. Sehun rolled his eyes sarcastically as jealousy toned him up. He recalled forbidding Namjoo to make new friends with any man when they started dating. How many of his words had she broken when she left him?

Sehun turned back to stare at the Cellular Store before impulsively grabbing the phone. It was probably a foolish move; one of the most immature things he’d done out the 3 years without her.  He slammed it a few times across the dashboard with as much strength as he had and twisted it around to make sure the screen was well cracked; close to being unusable. A smile filtered his face and satisfied with himself opened the door to walk across the street.

Inside the store he sought for Namjoo, but she was nowhere in sight.

“Hi, how can I help you?” Another woman walked up to him.

Sehun shot a glance at her before looking around again; ignoring her outright.

“Sir?”

“Where’s Namjoo?”

“Namjoo?” The woman repeated surprised.

“Kim Namjoo,” Sehun stated sounding annoyed, “I want her service.”

The woman frowned at him with quite a long stare before turning around to walk down a short hallway. A moment later Namjoo appeared and Sehun felt himself smile unconsciously, but quickly cleared his throat. Pulling on an empty, but serious expression he straightened up.

“Yes? What can I do for you?” Namjoo still showed no sign of recognition, but acted as if he was a customer and she was a service clerk.

Setting the phone onto the counter he told, “Fix it. I accidentally dropped it.”

He watched her pick it up, turned it over and observe it all the while his eyes sat on the hairclip at the side of her head. Part of him wanted to snatch it and step on it while the other half thought it did suit her quite well.

The thought made him want to break it even more.  

“I’m going to have to send it in to maintenance,” Namjoo explained, “do you need it right away?”

“No,” he shook his head, “take as long as you need.”

“It might take up to a week’s time to fix it,” Namjoo told, “but I’m pretty sure they can have it done in three days’ time though. If you write down your name and a number where I can reach you, we’ll notify you when it gets back.”

Namjoo dug around for some papers and a pen before placing them in front of him. Sliding them over Sehun filled them out slowly. If he wrote down his number, would Namjoo look at it and try to memorize it? Would she want to contact him?

She had to. She had to. She had to.

After he finished he slid them back to her and to his dismay, without glancing at them placed them below the counter. Done with his job he stumbled outside reluctantly.

Darn Namjoo.

Left with no choice he forced himself to work and clocked out early in hopes of catching sight of her again. He hated that thoughts of her crept into his mind so easily when he should be outright pissed off at how she disappeared without a word only to appear now like this. But he missed her, he wanted her presence, he wanted her to look at him and see how much he’d endured and suffered while she was gone. He just wanted her to cry for him so that he could hug her in return. Sehun just wanted her back.  

Driving back to the Cellular Store he parked across the street and stared into the store in search of Namjoo, but didn’t see her. He glanced at the time again to see it wasn’t quite time for her to pick Ki Hoon up. Hw waited for another 10 minutes before stepping out of his car to walk in impatiently.

The woman from earlier in the day glanced at him before walking over, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

His eyes moved over the room, “Is Namjoo here?”

“Her shift is done for the day.”

His eyes locked onto the woman as if she should have told him about it this morning.

“Oh…is that so?” He mumbled.

Partly disappointed he stepped out and sat inside his car for some five minutes. He suddenly didn’t know what to do now. Without Namjoo to look at, where would he go to look for her? She obviously never went back to any of their places.

Starting his car he drove toward the Day Care instinctively; the other place he could think of that he’d be able to see Namjoo next. Even though it was still quite early he’d wait for her.

The toddlers were outside at play in the back again and Sehun invited himself in. This time he went in through the building to find Hayoung first. He didn’t want another mishap to happen as it had yesterday.

“What are you doing here?” She questioned surprised when he found her inside the kitchen.

She was probably expecting him to say he was there for her, but instead said, “It’s ok if I go see the kids in the back, right?”

“Oh…” she droned on withholding her dismay, “sure. Yea, go ahead. Go play with them. I explained to my boss about the misunderstanding yesterday, so don’t worry about it.”

Sehun nodded and with a smile headed out back passing by colorful walls and tiny tables. This time he found his son sitting nearby the slide with some dice blocks in front of him. He was working hard to stack them up and looked as concentrated as he when focused on an exam. Ki Hoon would be a smart one, he was sure of it; especially with someone like Namjoo as his mother.

With a smile Sehun sat down in front of him, staring at him adoringly as if he’d never seen anything so perfect.

“Ki Hoon, right?”

The boy stopped and looked at him quietly. His lips drooped a bit and the baby fat in his cheeks made his cheeks bulge out. He had Namjoo’s dark and straight hair; he was definitely theirs.

“Hi,” Sehun greeted softly welling up with emotions he’d never felt before urged with the tendency to move over to touch the son he never knew about.

Leaning forward he reached his hands out, “Can I carry you?”

Ki Hoon made no movement for almost a minute. He just stared and Sehun thought he’d get rejected, but he stood up and stepped a tiny step forward. The smile on Sehun’s face grew broader when his son stopped just in front of his outstretched hands. Ki Hoon’s plump hands sat by his sides as he continued to stare as if searching for recognition in him. Or was he wondering why an adult looked like him?

Sehun’s heart warmed and melted with the realization of who was in front of him.

It was real. His perfect son, Oh Ki Hoon he never knew about.

His son…

He was a father and he never knew…he was a father…

Questions about how small he’d been when he was born entered Sehun’s mind. How much had he weighed? What had been his first outfit? How much had he cried the second he opened his eyes? Was he a baby who ate a lot? When did he start walking? What were his first words? What was his favorite color; his favorite food; his favorite drink?

Why…hadn’t he known about Ki Hoon?

Their eyes met and Sehun was confident he’d be able to hug him for the first time. He might even cry when he held him. His 3 year old son he wasn’t there for when he arrived in the world. Sehun wanted to hug him dearly.

“Who are you?” A male voice interrupted, shattering the moment just in front of him.

Ki Hoon turned away from him, his face brightening up, “Han Han!”

Running out of his sight, Ki Hoon disappeared. Stunned, Sehun stared at the emptiness before him. He needed a moment to grasp the realization that he’d lost what could have happened.

Gulping to regain himself he pressed his lips in turn. When he turned he saw Namjoo standing less than five feet from him, his heart thudding heavily against his chest. His eyes moved up from her feet to her face and he became dazed when he caught her eyes.

His Namjoo…

The spell of the precious moment snapped again when he felt a hard stare. With a slight turn of his head he caught no one other than the man she’d been with this morning standing beside her.

No…

Whoever he was, was staring back at just as hard as Sehun was staring at him. Their eyes searched the other, fighting to grab some kind of explanation for who the other was.  

“Up! Up!” Ki Hoon grabbed the man he called Han Han.

The man glanced down at him and carried him up. When in his arms Sehun thought his son looked as comfortable as he did in Namjoo’s arms.

It wasn’t right. And it hurt…

Why was someone else there? With Namjoo? And for Ki Hoon?

Pulling on the man’s shirt Ki Hoon spoke indistinguishable words, pointing a hand back at him. Namjoo reached over to cup the back of his head with a smile before they turned around to walk away, the man staring back at him hard then turning to follow Namjoo.

His heart raced.

Sehun’s heart thudded against his rib cage and he fell a step forward uncontrollably. Her name flew out from his lips more desperately than he’d meant for it to, “Namjoo!”

A silence fell upon them.

Swallowing back his hurt and the tears inside his heart he recalled running around in search for her that one day she never showed up. How desperate he’d been. Without a meal he ran around like a fool; his hopes swinging up and down. By the end of the day he cried alone engulfed in the misery so foreign to him.

Namjoo had been his first love. He’d given his all to her knowing he’d be happy the rest of his life with just her.

To have someone become his everything was something he’d never imagined. She gave him hope, she fulfilled him, and she was his reason for waking up every morning. He waited every day just to see her and it gave him both courage and strength to keep going.

Namjoo had been everything…

“Don’t go.”   

He watched her take a step forward then come to a halt, her hands slowly swinging by her sides.

“Turn around, turn around and come to me,” his insides willed silently.

Sehun’s fingers curled up into his palm.

“Please turn around,” he continued to cry inside.

The scream of his heart echoed throughout his body when the man next to her placed a hand at her back, gently urging her forward. Namjoo went along with him and Sehun’s head turned as he watched them walk to the car.

His eyes seemingly watered up the longer he watched her go.

“Sehun?” Hayoung walked up to the back door to look at him, but he couldn’t hear her.

Still screaming inside, his legs jumped forward as he ran after the car down the street. A heavy outcry fell out in the form of a gasp as he quickened his pace. Sehun couldn’t call out, he couldn’t cry, nor could he scream her name; the only thing engraved in him. His pants became more desperate when his lungs filled up with cool air and he foolishly reached his arm out for the car ahead of him, but it was too far.

His hand swung down so fast hurling his body forward he nearly fell over. Finally forced to stop Sehun watched the car swing into traffic; a small cry seeping from his lips.

No…

And when he clamped his eyes shut, tears fell.

+++

“Who is he?” Luhan questioned turning to glance at her.

Namjoo closed her eyes for a split second, a headache on its way.

“Namjoo.”

“Not in front of Ki Hoon.”

Turning away unhappily, Luhan stepped on the accelerator to speed up. Namjoo didn’t say anything the rest of the way to his house, but he knew something was there in her eyes. And there was something with the man who’d approached Ki Hoon. The very fact that they could look so alike told Luhan the one thing he didn’t want to know.

Namjoo followed him into his house and his parents turned from the living room to welcome them back.

“Look after Ki Hoon, we’ll be right back,” Luhan set her son down onto the couch and grabbed Namjoo’s hand before leading her back outside where they could talk privately.

They walked around to the back of the house, his fingers grating hers gently. Half of him was becoming uncertain and insecure throughout the silence.

Letting go of her hand he turned around to face her. A wall of vines and the shadow of a tree grew over them. Namjoo’s expression was unreadable. She looked like she wasn’t feeling anything at all; not any hurt, pain, or sadness. There was nothing on her face.

How was it possible? Even after the way that man called for her?

“Namjoo,” Luhan started, “that man…”

“You know, you saw,” Namjoo said quietly, “so why are you asking?”

His brows slightly furrowed, “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

He watched her lids move as her eyes focused on the ground. What was running through her mind?

“What happened?”

Her eyes glittered with tears when she looked up at him, “I’m not supposed to talk about him. I can’t talk about him. Lets pretend this never happened today.”

Turning away Namjoo left him to stand there alone.

Something about all this was very wrong. Luhan couldn’t help, but feel that way.