+++

While his mother secured the tie around his neck for the first time in his life Sehun glazed his eyes over her. Within the crevices of his mind he wondered if she saw him the same way Namjoo saw Ki Hoon; with affection, love, trust, and certainty.

The vivid hand against his chest as she admired the neat work she’d done with a smile embraced his mind momentarily. As a child Sehun always thought she was the most beautiful woman to graze this planet. No one could outdo her. His mother had been a perfect doll in his eyes from head to toe, and as a child he’d adored her with childish affection. Because she was his mother, he loved her with no limit.

His perceptions changed with growth, but for the first time since his view changed; she looked as she did when he was a child. His mother was so beautiful.

Did he love her the same way Namjoo loved Ki Hoon?

Whenever he wondered that the bottom of his heart would start on fire as if someone were clawing blood out of him mercilessly.

“You look so handsome,” his mother smiled happily, but whether it was out of happiness for him or for herself he couldn’t know. “One more step and your wedding will be on the way. I’m so happy Sehun.”

Sehun blindingly returned the smile.

+++

Hayoung turned to look around not amazed that their parents had somehow filled up the reserved reception to its full capacity. All she saw were the heavy jewels friends and family wore to show off glittering underneath the huge chandelier. The dresses and suits guests were adorned in had costs hundreds; tailored and ordered from overseas.

She liked it that it was Sehun who would be her marriage partner, but she hated it that it was all one-sided. Hayoung had never yearned for anything out of her league. She just wanted a simple happiness; small things that could offer her long lasting joy. She didn’t need a lot of money or good clothes, a rich home, or a handsome husband. Hayoung just wanted to be given joy.

Sehun couldn’t do that for her whether he was in her presence or not. She couldn’t bear living the rest of her life with him while his mind was elsewhere. She definitely knew better than that.

“He’s here, hurry and go greet his family!” Her mother grabbed her arm, nodding toward the doors where Sehun was entering with his family.

Hayoung peered at them and the calm smile on Sehun’s face before turning away. She couldn’t look at him…not this way.

Her mother lugged her along anyhow and greeted Sehun and his parents with modest happiness. The smiles plastered on their faces made Hayoung want to slap each one of them. It upset her how no one listened to her.

No one at all.

Not even Sehun.

“Hayoung,” Sehun smiled at her, “you look pretty today.”

At once her eyes burned and the urge to cry defeated her urge to keep ignoring him. It was the first time in a long time that he’d given her such comment, and it hurt that it had to come from him on this kind of day. Her heart throbbed and she couldn’t reply.

“Lets go sit, shall we?”

“Oh I…I need to go to the restroom first,” Hayoung said.

“Hurry up,” her mother urged before turning back to the others with that smile plastered to her face.

Hayoung hesitantly turned away before forcing herself away from Sehun. She would have liked to stay for the whole ceremony, but if only Sehun had said those words earlier to woo her heart. Now, it was too late. Even if she wanted, she couldn’t turn to him now.

+++

Luhan gripped her hand as they waited in the lobby and Namjoo gave him a nervous smile. At the back of her mind she was still conscious about the engagement Sehun had called her about. While he was taking a step into another world, she was here in the hospital.

Right now they both had someone else and she couldn’t figure out if that was something to be happy about or not.

The door opened and a nurse stepped out with a clipboard, “Kim Namjoo?”

Lifting her head up she turned toward the nurse before looking at Luhan, who comforted her with his smile and another grip of the hand.

+++

It was strange how his body felt light and empty as if he carried no organs at all, as if he had no heart inside him. As he sat there with his mother on his left and the empty chair on his right he gazed around the room. Everyone looked so happy.

Why?

How could they be so happy when he was so empty? How did such things work?

Sehun reached forward for his glass of water and took a sip before someone walked over to Hayoung’s mother. With a whisper into her ears she dropped a ball of silence over them with a loud scream, “What!?”

Back to realilty Sehun stared at the messenger before eyeing Hayoung’s mother dead with shock on her face. In less than a second she sprang to her feet and was out the door.

Sehun was confused, but he didn’t think much of it. People like him and Hayoung were born prisoners to their parents. The moment they entered the world their fate had been written out by their parents. Their parents were their rules and limits. Nothing went past that.

It was time he ought to give in now.

Such things like happiness didn’t coexist with their world.

“Um…excuse me, would everyone pay attention for a second?” Someone was up on the podium and when Sehun turned he saw that it was Hayoung’s father, who looked extremely distressed.

The room immediately silenced and Sehun shifted in his chair wondering what was next to come.

“My…my daughter, Oh Hayoung, has just collapsed due to exhaustion. I…I’m terribly sorry, but we cannot continue the engagement ceremony today. I apologize for the convenience,” he bowed deeply on stage whilst friends and relatives snickered among themselves.

Sehun peered at the empty glass of water in front of him before turning to the empty seat on his right. He couldn’t define what had just happened with mere emotions he did not have. Consciously, he still couldn’t figure out what was going on.

As his parents saw the guests out he stood by their sides robotically bowing in apology, remaining like that for a long hour. When everyone left the doors were closed and Hayoung’s mother dropped onto a chair out of agony. Leaning her forehead into her hand she whined on and on about what had just happened.

“How could she…my Hayoungie…” she whined again. “Out of all days…why…”

While his mother comforted her by patting her back Hayoung’s father trudged over to him.

“She didn’t say anything to you?” He interrogated. “You two didn’t argue? Did she say anything to you at all?”

Sehun stared blankly at him before shaking his head quietly. When her father turned away to heave a deep sigh Sehun turned to glance at Hayoung’s disappointed mother.

“Why…everything was going so well! How could she…”

When his mind cleared of its fog Sehun gazed around the empty reception room again. The only food touched had been the appetizers. Empty wine glasses sat on the tables and the tablecloths on the tables were slightly disoriented, but still neat. The heavy chandelier in the center of the room sparkled over him mockingly as if to say ‘Congratulations for a ruined engagement.’

The grand happiness he’d been wondering about was nowhere to be felt now. When he turned back to look at Hayoung’s mother she looked tiringly depressed.

“Did she go back home?” Sehun heard Hayoung’s father wonder before lashing out at his wife. “That’s why I said not to push her! But you were so adamant on having this engagement!”

“Why!? It’d be nice to feel good about being able to get married before the wedding anyway! What’s wrong with an engagement?”

“It’s ok, stop it now,” Sehun’s mother coaxed. “She’ll return home and we can figure things out.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Hayoung questioned. “The engagement is tomorrow. Sehun, don’t do it.”

If he did it, Hayoung wouldn’t.

The engagement ceremony had to be stopped somehow. Hayoung did it by leaving.

The emptiness spread inside him like a virus and he felt nothing at all. Sehun didn’t even feel like celebrating.

+++

“Is that your boyfriend out there?” The nurse questioned while preparing the needle to draw out blood from Namjoo’s arm.

“Ah…” Namjoo became shy not knowing how to answer. It would be awkward whatever answer she gave.

“He’s my boyfriend.”

The nurse looked surprised, but gradually smiled anyway, “How nice of him to come with you. Are you planning on getting married?”

Namjoo peered at the nurse, but kept away from eye contact. “We’ll see.”

“Why? If he’s a man he should take responsibility,” the nurse went on. “Having a baby is exciting. Good luck.”

Namjoo meagerly smiled at her and said no more.

“How’d it go? Does your arm hurt?” Luhan worried when she stepped out.

He took her arm and observed the bandage when she sat back down.

“It doesn’t hurt,” Namjoo told.

“Too bad mom and dad aren’t here for this,” Luhan stretched his arms out and leaned back into the chair. “They’d be excited.”

Namjoo could imagine it without much difficulty. His parents would be ecstatic and they’d be all over her as well. It would happen while she remained in a bind with her emotions. She still couldn’t figure out if she was happy about it or not.

When she first found out she was pregnant with Ki Hoon she was afraid and she cried then she was happy. A love from her and Sehun was sprouting inside her body and she felt proud knowing that.

This time around, it was different.

Her mind wasn’t at peace. The biggest fault had to be Sehun, who was still in her life.

Almost half an hour dragged by before they were called up. The nurse handed them a piece of paper and as she took it she felt her mind become dizzy. All the possibilities that were possible spun weaves inside her mind.

Nervousness, anxiety, and panic distorted her from hearing Luhan beside her.

If she was pregnant…what would happen? What would she do? What if Sehun found out she was having someone else’s baby? How would he feel? How would she feel?

If she wasn’t pregnant…what would still happen anyway?  

When they finally made it around the corner Namjoo unfolded the piece of paper having forgotten that Luhan was there with her. Her eyes scanned the top of the paper imprinted with her name before she lowered her eyes to the ‘negative’ on it. Not meaning for it, a smile splintered across her face.

She wasn’t pregnant.

Her insides whooped for joy and screamed, but Luhan didn’t say anything beside her. She forgot about him until she felt his hand at her back. There was a smile on his face with the means to comfort her as if she should be the one to be disappointed with the result.

“You ok?”

Namjoo guiltily looked up into his face and held his arm feeling apologetic. After it all, she finally realized Luhan may have been looking forward to positive results while she’d been hoping for the opposite.

“Actually,” Namjoo quietly started, “I feel relieved.”

Their eyes met and she was plunged into guilt.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” Luhan sounded confident. “It’s ok. I’d rather have a baby after getting married.”

She felt him run his fingers over the top of her head and watched him smile comfortingly at her.  

“Should we get something to eat?”

And Namjoo thought it was good that his parents hadn’t come with them. The hidden disappointment in their voices would make her feel bad, but Luhan understood. He always understood her and Namjoo didn’t think it’d be any less than that.

Luhan…was always good to her.

“My parents are coming back late tonight,” Luhan informed. “Do you want to stay over and wait for them?”

Namjoo weighed the decision in her mind. What happened last night wouldn’t happen again tonight, she knew that. Luhan was the kind of person to push things, but she was afraid he might talk about marriage even if he hadn’t spoken about it for a few weeks now. Yet, she knew they were all waiting for her to say something about it.

“Ki Hoon can sleep with you tonight, since he’ll be asleep by the time he comes back,” Namjoo said, but Luhan still looked at her expectantly.

“What about you?”

Namjoo fought not to avert her eyes because if she did it’d make them awkward and Luhan might see that she was uncomfortable. She didn’t want him to realize she was. He’d been so good to her.

“I’m going to stay by myself tonight,” Namjoo answered.

Luhan looked like he was going to say something else, but didn’t. He comforted her again with his smile before stepping out of the car.

“I’ll walk you home,” he suggested.

Namjoo followed him quietly and felt him take hold of her hand as they headed up the steep hill.

“Will you be bored if you return home?” Namjoo wondered.

“I’m always bored.”

Namjoo half laughed, half smiled at him. “You can stay for a bit. I don’t mind.”

Luhan was about to answer, but didn’t. They suddenly stopped in their steps and Namjoo peered up at him before following his gaze.

In front of her house was someone in an expensive dress embroidered in beads and what looked like tiny jewels. Even under the dullness of her house her dress gleamed beautifully.

What next entered Namjoo’s mind was that this wasn’t right. That person shouldn’t be there.

“Hi,” Hayoung greeted somewhat awkwardly after looking at their entwined hands.

Namjoo found herself blinking uncomfortably and slightly turned away.

What did she want with her now? 

***Hayoung disappeared from her engagement ceremony!!! Too bad Sehun only continues to break her heart ;A; 

***Feeling uncomfortable about something really says the truth about a person, doesn't it? Namjoo didn't want to be pregnant, not with Luhan's baby. 

***Sehun's so glum now ;A; Next chapter is HunJoo's!