+++

“Yes, yes, yes,” his mother spoke into the phone when he walked further into the house.

Closing the door very softly behind him he wondered who it was his mother was talking to on the phone. She sounded hurried and slightly worried; a tone of panic mixed along with it.

Taking his jacket off he walked into his room to set it down only to hear his mom call for him a second later.

When he walked out his mother had her hands clutched together against her chest. She looked so scared it really worried him.

“What?” He wondered. “Who were you talking to?”

She shook her head and looked like she was going to break down to cry. Taking two steps toward the couch she leaned against it for stability.

“It was from the Day Care,” she explained, “Ki Hoon’s missing.”

Everything in his mind dissolved and he blanked out. He immediately forgot what his mother just said. The signals weren’t transmitting anything to his brain, but his body felt the effects of it.

His blood ran cold and his eyes dilated.

“Ki Hoon’s missing…oh my god…” the woman covered her face to cry. “The poor boy…what are we going to do?” Then she lifted her face up with wide eyes, “Oh my god…Namjoo! Does Namjoo know!?? What’s she going to do?”

Luhan blinked his eyes still unable to think of anything.

“You have to go see her. She can’t be alone right now…oh no…and after everything she’s gone through. Why is this happening?”

Turning on his heels without further worry he found himself back out the door and in his car.

His mom had it right. Namjoo couldn’t be left alone. Not now. Not in this time.

Speeding through the streets abruptly brought him to the Cellular Store in just a few minutes.

“Namjoo, where’s Namjoo?” Luhan asked when he didn’t see her around.

“She left after a phone call.”

And that set him running out again.

On the way to Namjoo’s he continuously called her, but was sent to voicemail with each try. He was worried, really worried.

Luhan knew Ki Hoon was Namjoo’s everything. He knew and he saw how much she loved him. Her heart would be broken and he was afraid she was crying by herself. The baby she suffered so much for was her world.

Tucking the phone into his pocket he raced up the street toward her home hoping that she was in. His long legs brought him to a halt in front of her door. There was no point in hesitating right now, so grabbing the knob he pushed the door open. It had been surprisingly left unlocked, which wasn’t very like Namjoo at all.

Obviously this meant something was wrong.

Then he spotted her sitting on the couch with her hair dripping water and a bath towel wrapped around her. He assumed she’d taken a bath before allowing it all to sink down.

She looked colder than Antarctica; lifeless and cold. Namjoo barely moved to acknowledge him, so closing the door after him he walked to her bedroom to grab one of her jackets. Draping it around her shoulders he knelt down on one knee in front of her.

“Namjoo,” he called, “what are you doing here like this?”

Her eyes spoke of desolation.

“You have to get dressed; you’re going to catch a cold.”

Namjoo shook her head and grasped his hand when he tried to get her up.

“Have you talked with the police?” Luhan wondered.

“He ran away,” Namjoo shook her head, “he was angry at me for keeping him from you. He hates me because I’m a bad mother.”

He watched her face scrunch up as she cried. All he saw though was how heartbroken she was that this had happened.

“You know it’s not like that,” he gently grasped her hands. “I know Hoon loves you more than anything. He’s out there and he’ll be back. I promise.”

Namjoo still continued crying and shook her head in denial.

“What if he doesn’t come back?” Namjoo sobbed. “What am I going to do? I was so awful to him before, I couldn’t even say sorry. It’s all my fault.”

“Come on, Namjoo,” he urged, “it’s not like that. Don’t think like that.”

She looked like nothing, but a wet towel drained of water; weak in isolation. And all that ran in her mind was how miserable she’d be without the one who kept her going, whether things were good or bad.

“I can’t lose him,” Namjoo wailed hard.

Luhan was worried too. Namjoo’s emotions cracked his heart and unable to wipe the tears that didn’t stop he he hugged her. She clutched him back the same way Ki Hoon had in his kitchen; tight and with a strong grip for security and comfort.

And Luhan wondered, why were things like this?

After finally persuading her to get dressed he walked into her kitchen to heat up some warm water for her. While he waited for the water to warm up he wondered if Namjoo would be alright by herself.

He didn’t think she’d be, but he was afraid she’d reject the offer to stay at his house.

Upon hearing her footsteps he grabbed the cup of water from her microwave and turned to hand it to her. She looked a bit calmer, but her eyes looked the most exhausted.

She’d cried so much…

“Drink this,” he told. When she took it he waited for her to take a sip before asking, “Have you called him; Ki Hoon’s father?”

Again, her eyes looked even more desolate.

“He didn’t pick up.” She shook her head.

“Would he be able to find someone to search for Hoon?”

“I don’t know.”

“Namjoo, do you want to come stay with us until we find Hoon?” Luhan gave it a shot anyway out of concern. “I’m worried about you being alone.”

Namjoo seemed to look around as she weighed the decision in her mind and slowly nodded.

+++

He’d received an urgent call from home right after his shift ended. He couldn’t hear the rest of the message because his phone had died. Without delay he rushed back.

Sehun didn’t know that it may have been one of the worst decisions he’d made.

When he neared the main rest area in his house he heard the crying of a child. It was loud. Even though Sehun wasn’t surrounded by children on a daily basis he thought he could detect fear in this child’s cry.

Walking into the room left him breathless at first.

Sitting on his mother’s expensive blue velvet couch framed with wood imported from England was Ki Hoon. His face was tearstained and red from all the crying he’d done. His heart went out to him immediately.

Sehun quickly searched around for what was going on. A second later he heard his mother screaming from the room nearby.

“Would someone shut him up!?” There was frustration and irritation locked in her voice.

Sehun had to wonder if she’d treated him the same way when he was a baby.

Never minding her he hurried toward Ki Hoon, who looked up at him like he was a stranger. Crying even harder he inched back into the couch, tucking himself up against it trapping himself.

“Is anybody out there!?” His mother shouted again.

Ki Hoon started shrieking when Sehun tried to grab him, but he wasn’t going to give up. This was his son. And only because Ki Hoon didn’t recognize him didn’t mean he was about to stop. He would have his son because he was his biological father and he wanted them to be together.

There was a loud bang against the table and a chair screamed against the floor before his mother stomped out from her study. Managing to lift the bawling Ki Hoon into his arms he turned to glare at his mother.

“So you’re home.”

“What’s going on?” Sehun demanded. “Why’s he here?”

“Well you want him, don’t you?” His mother seemed clueless to his calm, but growing anger.  

Gritting his teeth he pressed sobbing Ki Hoon against his shoulder.

“So I got him for you.” She sounded like a premature teenage girl who’d just gotten her best revenge.

“I’m taking him back.”

Shifting, he took a step forward, but quickly stopped upon his mother’s tease.

“Oh are you?” She asked sarcastically. “Go ahead. It’ll just look like you approached his mother to take him from her.” She tilted her head toward him, “And this is how you’re going to get closer to her again, by returning the child.”

An explosion inside him made his blood rush to his head. Had she really thought up of this scenario?

Sehun stared into his mother’s eyes wondering how he could have come from this woman.

“You have him, so keep him,” his mother said before striding off.

Left to stand there he patted Ki Hoon on the back to comfort him. Ki Hoon clung onto his shoulders, now quietly crying into his neck. Sehun figured he must be tired now after crying so much. If he were Namjoo, what would she do?

Deciding to first lay Ki Hoon down he started up the stairs to his room. The weight of his son in his arms and breathing against him was solemnly peaceful. Sehun had once pictured this in his mind a long time ago. He finally had it now and it touched his heart deeply.

Indeed, he did want his son, but not like this. He wanted Namjoo to be with them too. To just take Ki Hoon from her for himself was not what he’d imagined. It wasn’t what he had in mind for a family…

Sehun worried even more now. If his mother was willing to go this far just to contain him, he needed to think of an escape. He wanted Namjoo and the people most important to her to be safe as well. Sehun had to leave…

“Mommy…” Ki Hoon mumbled clutching onto his shirt even more with a small cry, adjusting himself against Sehun.

The calm of his breath whispered into Sehun’s ears. Inside his room he thought he didn’t want to put Ki Hoon down, because how often was he able to hold his son like this? He also hoped that Ki Hoon could feel through his heart and from the secure touches that Sehun was his father.

There had to be a familiarity between them they could connect from.     

For a long time he swayed back and forth with his child in his arms. He’d wished for this moment for so long…

Ki Hoon…his son, Oh Ki Hoon.

+++

“Eat something. You look like you’re starving,” Luhan’s mother commented placing a bowl of warm soup in front of her.

Namjoo found herself staring lifelessly at the bowl of delicious soup in front of her, but couldn’t bring herself to eat it. She’d come to Luhan’s for one reason only; it was because Ki Hoon might come here. He wanted Luhan the most, so he might come here for him. And Namjoo would be waiting until then.

“Here,” she placed the spoon within Namjoo’s hand. “Eat, Namjoo. You can’t starve yourself. You have to be strong for Ki Hoon when he comes back.”

She nodded quietly without saying anything. Her stomach grumbled and begged for something to be shoved down , but Namjoo couldn’t will anything into .

From beside her the woman turned back to look at someone who’d approached. Without word Luhan’s mother got up to let him take the seat. She felt him take the spoon from her and pulled the bowl toward him.

“You have to eat mom’s soup while it’s warm. It’s the most delicious like this,” Luhan spoke, stirring the soup with the spoon. “You know, don’t you? You love this the most on rainy days.”

Scooping a spoonful he held it out toward her, the bowl underneath in case any broth spilled.

“Here,” Luhan urged.

Namjoo stared at the soup, her heart damaged and sore before opening to slurp it up. When it settled deliciously into , a tear dropped as if her body never tired of crying at all.

“It’s good, right?” Luhan asked.

She nodded before he gave her another spoonful then another. And they kept this up until she finished the entire bowl. The whole time she noticed Luhan glancing at her proudly with little tears dancing in his eyes like stars.

+++

The little weight had shifted off his bed causing Sehun to wake up confused. The white hue of the moon was shining into his room like an oversized spotlight. Shadows from outside caressed the belongings in his room. His little guy was no longer beside him when he raised his arm.

He’d fallen asleep without realizing. Sitting up sleepily he slightly stretched before noticing that someone was banging against his bed as if trying to pull his covers off. Confused Sehun moved toward the edge of the bed to see Ki Hoon, who was too short to climb up, continuously trying to make his way up.

“That’s where you are.” Sehun said before lifting him up and glanced at the clock.

It was too late now to return him home. He’d do it in the morning, he promised. He was sure Namjoo was dying from worry, but having his son to himself wasn’t too bad, he thought.

A piece of paper flicked against his face and he grunted out of surprised.

“Mommy,” Ki Hoon said.

He was leaning into his father’s arm without knowledge of it, but Sehun loved it.

Noticing that Ki Hoon had dug around his room and found Namjoo’s picture surprised him. He’d stored the precious box of his memories of Namjoo underneath his bed. Ki Hoon must have found it when he climbed off the bed. On the other hand Sehun wondered how long little kids stayed up. Tired, he could feel his eyes closing on him without permission.

“What’s that?” Sehun glanced at the picture of him and Namjoo at the ice skating rink.

“Mommy,” Ki Hoon called again as if Namjoo might just appear out of nowhere.

Sehun smiled and glanced down at him all the while picking at his hair gently. His little boy even smelled good.

“That’s mommy and daddy before you were born,” Sehun said pointing at the picture.

“Han Han?” Ki Hoon turned his head up to peer into the very same eyes as his.

Sehun stared down at the boy and managed a smile after being stunned for a second.

“Come on, I’ll show you something,” Sehun offered and tried to take the picture from him, but Ki Hoon surprisingly pulled back strongly.

“Mine.” He stated determined.

Sehun stared at him shocked before breaking out into a laugh.

“Ok, you keep it,” Sehun gave him and carried Ki Hoon off the bed.

Walking over to the window Sehun pulled aside his see-through curtain to reveal his humongous backyard overgrown with thick trees on the side.

“It’s big and empty, right?” Sehun asked.

“Empty,” Ki Hoon meaninglessly repeated.

Sehun smiled and continued, “If I were to bring your mommy here, we’ll plant flowers and a garden here. It’ll be pretty, right?”

“Pretty,” Ki Hoon again meaninglessly, roving his eyes over the huge yard.

“And whatever you want, I’ll give you.”

He turned to look at Ki Hoon who didn’t bother to return the stare. Ki Hoon seemed mesmerized with the darkening of the still sky and the yard that stretched beyond sight. 

***At least Ki Hoon's safe with his dad, but Namjoo's having it hard without her baby. It's about time for Sehun to step up though.

***And as you can see, Namjoo still very much needs Luhan bc she has no one else in her times of need. He's very much of a friend she can't lose. And you can see he's dead worry over Ki Hoon too, he's the baby he raised and I just feel that that's very brave and touching. 

***I thought I'd finish this story by chapter 30, but I might go beyond that a little. I'm estimating this story to be completed by chapter 31. Thanks for all the love, I hope you're enjoying things!