There was nothing he could utter back. She wouldn’t get it.

“You don’t understand,” Sehun told. “You never will.”

With that he turned around to walk off. Minutes later he tossed the pictures into the grill outback and started a fire. As he watched the flames slowly start and the pictures melt away he called Namjoo.

She picked up almost right away.

“Are you ok?” He tried to sound unconcerned. “Where are you?”

“Why?” Namjoo wondered. “I’m on my way to get Ki Hoon. Did you get home safe?”

“Yes,” he replied. “Was just checking up on you. Have a good night.” 

After hanging up he clutched onto his phone, praying for the best.

+++

Namjoo was standing on the other side of the door when Luhan opened it. He couldn’t remember last night clearly, but he certainly remembered seeing Namjoo.

To be honest, he wasn’t quite prepared to see her or have a one-on-one with her. Ignoring her wasn’t a smart decision either. If he ignored her now and started talking to her again later, he’d look arrogant and it’d make them awkward. Being awkward with Namjoo was one thing he didn’t want.

They had a natural relationship of closeness after all. Luhan definitely didn’t want to lose it.

So, he thought he should be honest when he opened the door. He didn’t try to put on a smile for self-comfort or for her comfort.

“Hi,” he greeted casually.

Namjoo seemed to stare back friendlily with a small smile chapped on her lips. Ki Hoon was holding his hand, but didn’t move forward. His mother had explained to him that afternoon that Ki Hoon was upset and had treated his mother coldly.

Of course, Luhan knew how he felt. Things couldn’t be done this way though.

“Hoon, your mommy’s here for you.” Luhan spoke down to him.

Ki Hoon kept his face trained toward the ground, but said nothing.

Pressing his lips together Luhan crouched down still holding gently onto the little boy’s hand, his other hand was placed on his small shoulder.

“Han Han likes sleeping with you, but Han Han also needs sleep by himself in order to become stronger. You want to become a strong boy too, don’t you?” He spoke somewhat playfully. “Only strong boys can protect their family. You want to protect your family, don’t you?”

Lifting his head up he placed his chummy hand on Luhan’s face, “You family.”

Luhan smiled adoringly at the little boy as a part of his heart chipped off.

“Yes, we are family,” Luhan smiled before hugging Ki Hoon. “Lets not be sad. Han Han loves you. I’ll come see you again or you can come here and we’ll play together again, but tonight you have to go home. Ok?”

Sadness traced itself over every inch of Ki Hoon’s face and Luhan wanted to keep him forever.

“Love Han Han,” Ki Hoon tightly gripped his arms around Luhan’s neck almost putting him in a choke hold.

Before leaving, Ki Hoon gave him a quick kiss on the cheek to which he returned to the little boy. Luhan smiled at him broadly and patted his head before handing him over to Namjoo, who watched nostalgically.

“Thank you,” Namjoo thinly smiled. “To have two father figures, he’s really lucky.”

“Last night,” he started, “if I said anything, I’m sorry.”

“There is one thing you said that hurt me,” she told.

Luhan’s heart paced faster and he worried overwhelmingly about what he could have said.

“Stop apologizing,” Namjoo said. “You didn’t like hearing it from me, I understand now. So don’t go telling me the same. I don’t like how you’re becoming like me.”

“Ok,” he nodded.

“Good night, Luhan.”

“Good night, Namjoo.”

+++

Ki Hoon didn’t much look or try to be affectionate with her when they got home. He did let her give him a bath and give him a change of clothes. He slept right after without word to her.

As she sat alone at the table she told herself it was a phase of Ki Hoon’s style of rebellion. She’d have to fare through it when he started growing up, so now was just a test phase; the easiest of his rebellions. During the next few days she would try to make up with him.

Namjoo wanted Ki Hoon back; that smart little boy she lived for who laughed and smiled often. She would have him back.

“Picnic?” Namjoo repeated appalled the next morning when she dropped Ki Hoon off at Day Care.   

The Day Care assistant nodded, “We sent a note home with him last night. You probably didn’t get it.”

Namjoo frowned and looked away guiltily. It felt like she wasn’t involved in Ki Hoon’s life at all, because of all her other matters. Perhaps Ki Hoon realized it even before she did. Maybe that was one reason why he was upset with her.

“Perhaps you can stop by the park in the afternoon, we’re taking the kids out to play there,” she suggested.

But Namjoo didn’t quite feel to the suggestion. Her manager wouldn’t let her off. With a sigh she smiled and crouched down to Ki Hoon’s level.

“I’m sorry, Ki Hoon,” she apologized taking his hands, “mommy can’t go with you today. Lets go eat ice cream later today, ok?”

Ki Hoon’s eyes stared at the ground, but he nodded.

Namjoo pinched his cheek gently before kissing his forehead, “Be good now.”

As she walked she continuously looked back to see him walk off hand in hand with the assistant. For some reason she felt uneasy that day as if she didn’t quite want to part with her son. Perhaps his anger made her scared. Maybe it told her that she should be with him and not at work; that she could give work up just one day for her son.

That Ki Hoon needed his mother more than anything right now even if he fought against her. Yet, Namjoo couldn’t stay. She needed the money in order to keep the house she had right now. Since she and Luhan were neither seeing each other now it would be shameless of her if she went to his parents to ask for money.

It had been fine before she fell into his arms, but it would be awkward now after all that had happened.

Opening the door of the cab she stepped in and stared back at the Day Care to see that Ki Hoon was no longer outside.

+++

Sehun walked into the Day Care and poked his head in to see Hayoung sitting by herself. She was currently on lunch break at the same time every day as he remembered. He wanted to ask about yesterday and if anything had been said to her on his mother’s account. The threat he’d received yesterday made him uneasy.

“Hey,” he greeted.

Hayoung turned to see him, but didn’t look as bright as usual.

“Can I have a seat?”

She nodded and he sat down on a chair beside her. Placing his elbows onto the table he side glanced at the simple lunchbox she had in front of her. It contained of an omelet, rice, and sausage.       

“I heard you went to try the dress on yesterday.”

Hayoung didn’t turn to look at him, but nodded two times by bobbing her head slowly.

“Why?”

“Is the reason important?” Hayoung wondered, hurt underlying her quiet voice.

Sehun slightly raised his brow confused with why she was being like this. After a moment of silence she tilted her head down and smiled somewhat spitefully and painfully. They were alone in the cafeteria, but it felt like her feelings were to the whole world while Sehun remained oblivious.

“I told you I like you a lot, but you don’t seem to understand.” Hayoung began. “I really like you. It hurts like the thorns on a rose, like getting pricked from a piece of wood, like an animal getting run over. But you…you can’t feel the bump as your tires roll over my body.

“Yesterday I realized, I still have some hope for you and it shouldn’t be this way. Sehun,” she turned to look at him, “why can’t you see that I’m hurting over you? If you saw it once and apologized, I wouldn’t hurt so much. But you…you’ve always been insincere toward me. Did you know that?”

Sehun’s eyes averted toward the untouched food in her lunchbox quietly. He then remembered the words Namjoo had shot at him a while back.

“Have you thought about your girlfriend? How she feels? Do you know what you’re doing right now?”

“Grow up, Sehun.”

He should have listened to Namjoo then.

“Hayoung…”

She turned away, her hair veiling her face from him.

“Can you leave?”

+++

“Have a good day!” Namjoo told before someone tapped her shoulder.

“You have a phone call.”

Namjoo stared at her co-worker before nodding and hurried toward the back. The Day Care wouldn’t call her unless it was urgent or something important. Things like that only happened when Ki Hoon was sick or fitful.

Uneasiness crept up the back of her neck as she walked toward the phone sitting on the desk, staring hard at her. It seemed to beckon her for the worst and Namjoo hesitated to take it.

The coolness of the phone seeped into the palm of her hand when she grasped and wrapped her fingers around its body. Finally pressing it against her ear she answered.

“I’m so sorry,” someone from the Day Care apologized, her voice slightly shaking. “Ki Hoon…I think he’s missing.”

Namjoo’s world came to an immediate time stop and the walls banged around her noisily as if she were in an earthquake. Her eyes widened and strained.

“W…what?” She could barely hear herself.

“The kids were having fun by the trees, but all of a sudden I couldn’t find him. I’m so sorry; we’re contacting the police right now. I’m sure he hasn’t gone far,” the woman went on, but the phone had slipped from Namjoo’s hand. It hit her foot before landing on the floor.

Her mind was stunned so hard she could barely think of anything. Her heart trembled and she felt her insides turn over. It almost felt like her blood flow had ceased and she was about near death. The room turned white before her and she caught herself against the desk; the news crawling into her mind immediately.

She suddenly recalled the reality she didn’t want.

“No…no, no,” she muttered to herself before she reached around for her bag.

Without further thinking she rushed out of the back room, but her manager caught her.

“Whoa! Where do you think you’re going?”

“I have to go, I have to go,” she spoke so fast that he couldn’t catch what she was trying to say at first.

“Go where? Your break is already over. You have four more hours….”

“My son is missing!!!!” Namjoo shrieked into his face, the tears inching out of her eyes.

The whole store froze and everyone stared at her. Pulling out of his grasp she twisted around and was out the door.

On the way to the Day Care she kept her fist against her lips to keep the tears from falling. It wasn’t time to cry just yet. Ki Hoon would be there waiting for her. He’d be safe and in her arms again.

Ki Hoon…was definitely somewhere…

The lady from the Day Care had just lied to her…

Ki Hoon…wasn’t missing…

She hadn’t even made up with him yet…

Once the cab stopped in front of the building Namjoo shoved a few dollars to much at him before zipping out of the automobile. The surroundings passed her by like wild blurs before she grabbed the woman she’d seen holding Ki Hoon’s hand this morning.

“Where is he!? Where’s my son!!!”

“Oh ma’am! Hold on! Please calm down,” someone rushed over to pry her hands off the woman’s collar and when Namjoo fell a step back she felt enraged all of a sudden.

“Where is he!!?” Namjoo shook her head and screamed so loudly that one of the boys started crying.

“Lets go talk in my office,” the woman grabbed her shoulder in a friendly manner, but Namjoo aggressively pushed her off.

“No! I’m not going anywhere!” Namjoo shook her head angrily then stared around the room, running her eyes over every one of the kids. “You’re hiding him, aren’t you? You’re hiding him.”

The son who had kept her alive, who she only lived for…she’d carried him for nine months through life and death. She’d borne him alone and now someone wanted to take him from her…

Namjoo was so enraged.

Why did bad things keep happening? Why did people seem to hate her so?

“Ki Hoon, mommy’s here. Ki Hoon-ah…” Namjoo called out with watery eyes and walked around, searching through the rooms and the play toys, even the little inside playground.

As she moved around the kids backed away from her staring at her fearfully. The Day Care assistants followed her around cautiously.

“Are you here?” Namjoo pulled open the bathroom door, but no one was inside.

Turning away she found herself standing in front of the door that led to the outside playground. She ran her eyes over the equipment that made the area up.

No one was outside.     

A sob fell through and Namjoo slid to the ground. Covering her face with her hands she cried.

Everything was her fault.

Ki Hoon hated her and he’d ran away because of her.

This had happened because she was a bad mother, because she was incapable of showing him any kind of love. It was all because she didn’t know what love was…

“Ki Hoon-ah…” Namjoo cried, “come back to me. Mommy’s sorry. Mommy’s so sorry…” 

***Hayoung gives Sehun a knock on the head. This is reality, you don't get over anyone in a matter of just a few days. This is heartbreak and she needs Sehun to realize that she's hurt. She needs him to know it in order for her to move on.

***At least HanJoo are back on 'Ok' grounds. They're taking it maturely, in a simplistic manner. She's sorry for hurting him and he's trying to live with it. As said before; mistakes do happen. 

***/weeps/ I cried the last part. Ki Hoon is missing ;A; Here's to the upcoming finale (don't worry, a few more chaps to go first).