Namjoo stared at her before her eyes drifted away.

Sehun’s mother turned to walk out, replaced her sunglasses on, and waited for her outside.

Sun nudged her from behind, “Who is she?”

With eyes scurrying across the ground Namjoo found her mind racing. There was no solution; no way out of this. Sehun’s mother wouldn’t leave without speaking to her. The heavy fact settled onto her heart like the weight of a brick, so heavy that she could feel her chest succumbing to weakness. She had to go out if she didn’t want Luhan to see her here when he came for her.

“I’ll be back,” Namjoo said before heading for the door.

When it opened the woman started walking toward the car awaiting them by the side of the road. The old Chauffeur stepped out of his seat to open the door for him, but Sehun’s mother didn’t enter. She stood there before Namjoo understood that she wanted her to get in first.

It was understood then that this wasn’t supposed to be a good, but private meeting between them.

Namjoo grew extremely anxious as she slid into the seat. Sehun’s mother followed a mere second later and the door closed. Now encased in darkness Namjoo felt her heart beat a tad bit faster.

Something light touched her chest. When she peered down she saw that it was those kind of envelopes that processed pictures came in once you picked them up from the store. Sehun’s mother refused to say anything and Namjoo took it as an order for her to look at the pictures.

Fighting to keep in control of calm she took it and pulled the pictures inside out. The black tinted window beside her showed her the few who walked passed, but no one would see that it was her inside. If she wanted help and gave a warning, no one could save her. She was like a fly buried inside an ant hole.

The pictures in her hands were of none other than her and Sehun; from the moment he left his home with Hayoung to the road in front of her house. Her heart thudded faster and faster against her ribs when she saw the pictures of them at the zoo yesterday. It attacked her so hard she felt her hands merely shake.

“I have something else for you,” she said coldly without much of a glance her way, “Chauffeur Kim.”

The Chauffeur in the front seat grabbed an orange envelope of documents from the passenger’s seat handing them to the back.

“Take it.”

Namjoo’s lids blinked ever so quickly before obeying like the weak, timid girl she was. Instead of money, she was being slapped by an invisible hand of power.

Once she slid the document out of the envelope she understood them as the home mortgage to Luhan’s house. The very signature of Luhan’s parents sat at the very bottom of the paper.

“I can take that house in a matter of seconds,” she threatened icily, “the very same way I took your father’s house.”

Namjoo felt constrict and pressed her lips together. It was no use getting angry. Her father’s home didn’t matter anymore, but Luhan’s family mattered; they were the very present.

“You know what you had to go through. I already punished you,” she went on with no slight emotion in her voice. “You don’t want them to go through the same, do you? I highly doubt you can care for them the very same way they have for you. I shouldn’t have to punish them.”

Namjoo’s hand shook some more and emotions of getting kicked out of her father’s small home whirled inside her mind.   

“I don’t like you. People like you are despicable,” she spat all so calmly. “What can you do for my son? Can you accompany him to attend business affairs?” Then she snorted, “You won’t even understand anything. You never completed college anyway. That man at that house, why don’t you marry him? I can even help with wedding arrangements. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? What woman doesn’t want to have a dream wedding?”

Namjoo tried to swallow, but became sore because it was so tight. She wanted to cry because the only thing she could think about right then was the long weeks she’d spent in the cold winter. Scavenging for food by digging through trash bins in the old alleys were the most embarrassing moments of her life. She had never shared her sorrow with anyone. Namjoo was ashamed to talk of how she fed herself those weeks.

It haunted her like a shadow.

“I’ll never acknowledge your son as mine. He’s not Sehun’s blood, I won’t have any of that nonsense,” his mother explained. “You should have gotten rid of that child a long time ago. I’ll have you know that Sehun is just playing around right now. He’s still at the mental age where rebelling against me is fun. We’re arranging for his wedding and you have the tendency to bring me out.”

She even heard Sehun’s mother mutter, “Little witch.”

Namjoo pressed her lips together as emotions of sorrow hurled through her.

“Don’t be an embarrassment to yourself, to your son, or to that family.”

She dug into her purse and held out a few large twenty bucks to her.

“Take it.”

Namjoo gripped onto the papers in her hand fighting for strong words to use, but her mind remained blank. She was helpless in this situation. She was a small cat going up against a big feline. They weren’t on even ground. She couldn’t take her on.

Snatching the document out of her hands she shoved the money into her grasp, “I said take it!”

Namjoo’s hand shook a little more before she set the money aside.

“I’ll leave,” Namjoo said, “I don’t need you to acknowledge my son, but I’d like it if I don’t hear you speak about him at all.”

Pushing the door open Namjoo stepped out and headed toward the Cellular Store, her heart racing intensely. She couldn’t believe she’d said what she just said. Those were probably the only words of retort she’d ever made against Sehun’s mother.

“Are you ok?” Sun asked concerned as Namjoo headed toward the back.

“Yes,” Namjoo nodded, “but I don’t feel well all of a sudden. Is it alright if you watch the store alone?”

Sun nodded, “You go on ahead. We aren’t that busy anyway. Will you be picking Ki Hoon up?”

“Ahh…about that,” Namjoo grabbed her over jacket, “is it all right if I ask a favor?”

Her friend nodded.

“Can you notify Luhan to do it and keep him at his place until I get there.”

“Why? Where are you going?”

“Just…I need some time,” Namjoo pressed her lips together.

When she left the store she didn’t really go anywhere. Namjoo figured she needed to clear her mind and find what it was she wanted to do. Did she still want to talk to Luhan about splitting up? Did she still find it important to tell Ki Hoon about Sehun? Did she even want to stay here anymore? And last of all, did she want to get married?

Sehun’s mother had triggered a depression warning when she spoke about taking away her father’s home. She still remembered the day she was notified to move out. Her father had made a yearly payment, so she should have been able to stay until after giving birth to Ki Hoon. So confused, she went to the landlord to find out that someone had bribed them for that specific apartment. It only made sense that no one wanted to give up thousands of money offered for a hundred dollar worth apartment.

A long time after that, it struck her whose doing it was. And today, she only got it confirmed that Sehun’s mother had stolen everything from her.

The many weeks spent in the cold still lurked beneath her consciousness. Namjoo would never be able to forget the difficulty of it.

To clear her mind a bit she went to the amusement park by herself. Namjoo rode the roller coasters alone belting out in screams all the stress inside. She ran from one ride to another for relief of reality and treated herself to all the food she found fascinating. Like a lonely person in a world full of happy people, she enjoyed herself normally.

The stars were plenty among the dark blanket in the sky when she finally walked out. It was late and dinner should have been had by now, but she was too full from snacking at all the food stalls all day. Namjoo just wanted to go sleep now, but she had to go pick Ki Hoon up. Plus, Luhan would be waiting for her.

He was such a great man and she felt that it was such a shame to drop him from her life.

Luhan looked relieved when he saw her on his doorstep an hour later and immediately pulled her in.

“Are you ok? Where’ve you been?” He interrogated at once. “Did something happen today?”

“No,” Namjoo replied rather calmly. “Sorry I’m late. I’m just picking Ki hoon up.”

“Why? Have you eaten? Come eat, I’ll heat up some food for you,” Luhan offered trying to pull her in.

“No, I’m fine,” Namjoo pulled her hand out of his grasp.

Luhan looked at her with a severe frown, “Why?”

Namjoo offered another smile, but said no more.

“You’ve been different recently,” Luhan told and Namjoo finally saw him clearly in front of her.

A wave of staggering emotions climbed over her heart.  

“You want to hear about it?” Namjoo asked.

Luhan looked at her quite seriously before nodding. He stepped outside and closed the door after him. They took to sitting on the doorstep a second later, both gazing at the stars mesmerized by its glint. They looked like jewels hanging off an invisible necklace.

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re an angel sent down to help me,” Namjoo started. “Before even when my dad was alive, no one took notice and no one cared about our hardships. And when you approached me, I wondered ‘Why.’”

Namjoo smiled and stared down at her hands.

“In every way possible, I genuinely like you and your family,” Namjoo said. “You’re the definition of a heaven for me; always open for me and willing to help.”

“Namjoo…”

“If circumstances allow me to,” she went on, “I’d like to tell Ki Hoon about Sehun. He should know who his real father is. If I have to hide that fact forever, someday Ki Hoon will hate me for it. And I feel sorry if he mistakes you as his father instead. I’d want to say sorry to you and Sehun then, because he grew up with you and not his real father; wants you, but not his real father.”

Namjoo couldn’t look at him, so she fiddled a little with her fingers.

“If I marry you, will all this truly end?” It seemed more like a question for her than for him. “I like that you love Ki Hoon as if he was yours; that your family love him as if he was theirs. But Sehun loves him too. Can it go on if Ki Hoon can’t be with his father, but us? Would it be all right if Ki Hoon left us to be with his father? I…just want Ki Hoon to be happy; to have a father, but if he’s with you without knowing his father; I don’t know.”

Luhan tried to reach for her hand to comfort her, but she slid her hand away.

“Can love exist in two dimensions at the same time?” Namjoo asked. “I got confused about what it really is. I want my own dependency, but I don’t want to leave you. Yet, I can’t always run to you for help. That isn’t the kind of love that it should be.”

Namjoo dug her fingernails into her hand and they continued sitting in a longer silence.

Honestly, she didn’t want Luhan to talk. She wanted to do the talking and let him sit in silence. She wanted him to sink these things in, so that maybe he would understand how she was feeling. If it was cruel of her, she didn’t know to apologize.

“Sehun is still in my head,” Namjoo admitted. “I think I need time to contemplate these things over. I want to find out what’s best for Ki Hoon and me. I’m sorry.”

Namjoo turned to look at Luhan at last and waited for him to turn too; however, he only continued staring at the sky.

“Should I just marry you?” Luhan asked without turning to look at her. “Whisk you off your feet and carry you to a church. I don’t need blood to have a family. As long as I care about you and Hoon, you’re already family.”

A pitiful smile crawled onto his face.

“I’ve thought that plenty of times,” Luhan confessed. “If you’re confused about whether you love me or not, take time to see what you really feel. To me, love is when you’re able to give without receiving. Your heart pitter patters when you see that special someone and you always want to see them, spend the rest of your life with them. It’s when you’re neither selfish for them or yourself, and you’re happy both ways. That’s what I feel it is.”

Luhan turned toward her with a smile before standing.

“I’ll get Hoon for you.”

+++

And he wasn’t as happy as he was when he first sighted Namjoo at the door. He wanted her to love him the way he loved her. He wanted Namjoo to think about him and only him. Sehun didn’t belong there in her head when he wasn’t there for her the past three years. It was he, who helped raise Ki Hoon. It was he, who showered fatherly love on Namjoo’s son.

When he slumped down onto his bed his heart sunk and burned.

Throwing an arm over his eyes Luhan closed his eyes.

He wanted Namjoo to only want him. If this was it, what they’d done thus far…what were those?

He didn’t want to take time off from their relationship. He still wanted to meet Namjoo tomorrow morning, for lunch, and for dinner. Luhan wanted Namjoo all times of the day.

And what…what was this?

Luhan knew something was up, but he didn’t want it like this.

+++

Her shoulders felt a bit lighter, but her heart was drenched in an overwhelming guilt. The night after she left Luhan’s she lay awake wondering if she should have told him what she did. It didn’t make her at all any better.

The next following days she restrained from going to Luhan’s. It was quite a difficult task for her, more so than she’d expected. Luhan was often in her life so much that now it was difficult not to see him daily. Ki Hoon continuously questioned for his Han Han which repeatedly weighed her shoulders down more.

Telling Ki Hoon about taking time off from Luhan in order to decide things for herself was something he wouldn’t understand. When Ki Hoon threw fits and cried because she told him ‘No’ she felt even worse.

It was absurdly difficult because Luhan was injected so heavily into their daily lives. At one point Namjoo even thought that this wasn’t right. Because of Ki Hoon’s fits she hadn’t been able to contact Sehun even if she wanted to. It also seemed like something had happened on his side since he hadn’t stopped by at all. And Namjoo knew better than to expect anything, but she still tended to wait for his appearance.

To discover that it hurt either way with Sehun and Luhan confused her much more. What was she to do?

And then one evening Sehun finally stopped by. Her heart lightened when she saw him at the doorstep. Ki Hoon bounded out of his room happily with the toy car Luhan had gifted him a few weeks back.

“Han Han!” Ki Hoon screamed happily, clutching the toy close to his chest.

Namjoo turned around surprised that Ki Hoon wasn’t asleep as she’d expected him to be she witnessed the smile fall drastically from his face. And she felt a hand clench itself around her heart.

Sehun walked in with a smile, “Hi, Ki Hoon.”

Ki Hoon turned away from him to look at his mother, “Where Han Han?”

His tone of voice told her he was hurt and disappointed. Namjoo, for a moment, didn’t know what to do.

“Is something wrong?” Sehun turned to look at her.

Without answering him she walked forward to Ki Hoon and grabbed his shoulders as she stepped behind him.

“Ki Hoon,” she began, “say hello to your daddy.”

A bare silence stole over the room and evident shock stole Sehun’s face at the unexpected confession.

“Nice Man is your daddy.”

“No,” Ki Hoon refused a second after before shaking deliriously within her arms for her to release him. “No! I want Han Han! I want Han Han!”

“Ki Hoon! Ki Hoon!” Namjoo tried to still him, but Ki Hoon broke free turned toward her with a face that labeled her as a betrayer.

“No!” Ki Hoon stomped his feet and sobbed heartbroken, his brows tight and his mouth creating the shape of an upside down apple baring his lower teeth. “Han Han! Han Han!! Want Han Han!”

Namjoo tried to hold him, but Ki Hoon backed away from her; shook his head and continued crying loudly. She knew she’d broken his heart. For a long while she couldn’t do anything, but watch him sob all the while clutching the beloved toy car close to his chest; as if it were the only thing he had to remind him of Luhan. 

***Poor Ki Hoon i~i

***Well Luhan and Namjoo have taken time off from each other, but is Luhan taking it as coolly as he makes it seem? This is not happily ever after for HunJoo just yet! 

***And now we know how Namjoo ended up in the streets T-T