A/N: It's a sad one-shot. So, you can skip this one if you don't feel like being emo today. And I'm sorry for this, I just feel so depressed these days that it reflects in my writing. :/

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Aren't you somethin' to admire?
'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine

Her baby brown eyes were met by a pair of chocolate brown orbs. The eyes of her companion narrowed, with lines showing on the side. She returned the smile and glided her hand from the other girl’s elbow to the stubby fingers before intertwining it with her lanky ones. She had held this hand for almost a decade now, and nothing changed. It was still warm against hers, the palms always sweaty and nervous. Just like the first time. Oh how time flies.

“Taengoo..”

Even before she could speak another word, Taeyeon already had her arm around her body, not minding to untangle their fingers. The older girl pulled her closer to her body, giving her as much warmth as possible. She closed her eyes and nuzzled her head against the crook of her wife’s neck; her sanctuary.

“Still feel cold?”

She nodded her head, wanting nothing more than to feel more warmth from the older girl. Taeyeon scooted closer, tightening her grip on Jessica’s hand. She looked down at Jessica who hid her face in her neck. A smile grazed her lips before brushing it against Jessica’s forehead.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to see the first snow fall?”

Taeyeon spoke, not detaching her lips from Jessica’s forehead. She felt the younger girl nod. She smiled when she was sure the girl wasn’t sleeping yet.

“We should have stayed at home, it’s so cold here.”

Jessica didn’t bother to answer Taeyeon. This was what she was waiting for, the first snow of the winter. She can’t miss this. She needed to be beside Taeyeon when the first snow falls.

If you ever feel alone and
The glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always
Parallel on the other side

“Sica, don’t sleep. Okay?”

Jessica nodded again as she fought the fatigue that was slowly taking over her body. She feels so tired. But she needs to stay awake. For Taeyeon.

“Not.. yet”

Jessica’s voice came out hoarse but Taeyeon was more than happy to hear it. It was the same nasally sweet voice she fell in love the first time she heard it on the music hall of the university. And as odd as it may sound, she fell in love with Jessica’s voice. It was enticing and intimidating at the same time. Jessica’s voice was something she anticipated everyday in music class.

“Taengoo.. is it here yet?”

“No, it’s not here yet.”

Taeyeon tried swallowing the knot that formed in . She felt her heart being squeezed by inexistent hands inside her chest and her insides churned. Breathing then became the hardest thing to do. Tears built up and before she knew it, they had escaped the confines of her eyes, landing on Jessica’s forehead.

“Taengoo.. are you crying?”

“N-no. my eyes are just irritated.”

Taeyeon bit her tongue. She doesn’t like lying to Jessica but she had to. She promised the younger girl she won’t cry. They had talked about this a hundred of times before but Taeyeon always ends up crying her heart out. She can’t lose Jessica. She can never accept that. Their time together was so short.

With an inaudible sigh, she pressed her lips against Jessica’s forehead again. She sobbed silently, praying to the gods and goddesses to give them more time together. Praying that this was just a bad dream and they’ll wake up soon.

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

Jessica felt her wife’s body shook against hers. She know Taeyeon was crying but she did not dare to speak. She would end up crying too, instead of comforting the older girl. She held Taeyeon’s hand tighter, as if it wasn’t tight enough, hoping to ease the older girl’s pain. The physical pain she’s feeling right now could never compare to the pain Taeyeon is feeling now. She felt weak but Taeyeon feels weaker; spending the past months inside the hospital, watching her vomit any sort of food she try swallowing inside her stomach. The treatments were all futile, and when the doctors shook their heads, that was when Taeyeon broke down for the first time.

“Taengoo.. it’s so cold.”

“I k-know. I know.”

The cold wind was seeping through her thinning frame, to her bones. She could feel the harsh cold creeping inside her bones but Taeyeon’s warmth somehow helps. Jessica smiled before pressing her lips against the skin of Taeyeon’s neck.

“I love you, Taengoo.”

“I love you more, Jessica.”

She will miss saying that to Taeyeon but she had begged the gods to let her be one of the winds, so she could touch Taeyeon everytime the older girl cries. She could dry her tears away and could kiss her cheeks when she feels alone. She hopes the gods listen this time. Jessica Jung never begs, but when she does, it’s because of Taeyeon Kim.

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space and now you're home

Taeyeon wished the snow falls later than it usually does this year. She wished to prolong this. She wanted to freeze time. To stop the world from turning. But of course it won’t happen. Everything has its right time, right place. Even death. She didn’t really want to dwell on the inevitable but it was hard not to. Knowing that this might be the last snow fall she’d be able to see with Jessica.

Her free hand started the exposed side of Jessica’s face, feeling the cold against it. How is she supposed to live life without Jessica? How did the gods and goddesses think of her living alone in the world without her other half? She’ll just be as good as dead. Living in the same monotonous world is tiring.

“Taengoo.. I’m tired.”

“Sica, not yet please. Please..”

The salty liquid rolled from her eyes to her lips again, and this time she didn’t try to control her sobs. She held Jessica tighter, pushing the girl more to her body. She needed to feel more of Jessica.

Jessica looked up to Taeyeon’s chocolate brown orbs. They were pleading, begging her not to go. She would comply, but her body is failing her. She ignored the nagging pain in her stomach and tried to muster the most genuine and bright smile she could before leaning in to kiss Taeyeon on the lips. Her lips were dry and cold but Taeyeon’s lips warmed it up, like she always does.

She remembers kissing Taeyeon for the first time inside the music hall of their university. It was short but it left a tingling sensation inside her body. She always missed Taeyeon’s lips since then.

Their sweetest kiss was after promising ‘in sickness and in health, for poorer and for richer, till death do us part’ to each other. They walked out of the church hand in hand with big smiles plastered on their lips that time.

Jessica smiled before parting their lips as she slowly succumbs to eternal slumber. Her hands dropped to her side limply and her eyelids were drooping. She forced herself to smile again as Taeyeon’s face become blurry.

“I.. love you.. Taengoo.. forever.. and always..”

“Sica, no please. Don’t leave me please.”

Taeyeon watched as Jessica close her eyes. She shook the younger girl, hoping to wake her. But it was all futile, and she knew that. She just didn’t want to accept reality at that moment. No, she can’t lose Jessica.

Her tears flew uncontrollably as she hugs Jessica even tighter, giving her warmth, hoping it would revive her somehow. But the girl stayed unmoving.

Just then, the first snowflake fell straight to her cheek, making her flinch a bit at the cold sensation against her skin. The ice immediately melted and mixed with her tears as they freely streamed down her cheeks.

“Sica.. please”

Her cries and pleas were answered by snowflakes after snowflakes.

Taeyeon’s heart died when the first snow of winter fell.

Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along