“I now pronounce you partners in life.”

The place roared and there were a lot of happy faces around. Jessica couldn’t contain her emotions so she kisses her partner again, with tears streaming down her face.

“I hope those are not tears of regret,” Taeyeon says with a weak smile, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

Jessica shakes her head. No, of course not, never, she wanted to say but words fail her. So she hugs Taeyeon tight, tucks a hair behind cute ear before kissing the corner of Taeyeon’s mouth.

“I love you,” Jessica whispers, because those are the words that comes close to how she feels at that moment. And then she repeats it again, and again, and again, because she feels like it will never be enough.

Taeyeon laughs lightly and tightens her hold on Jessica’s waist. “I know,” she says, “And I love you, too.”

Jessica turns to lie on her back, her eyes catching the sight of constellations on their ceiling. This is the first time she’s turning them on because she couldn’t sleep with the lights off.

“What are you doing up there?” Jessica says, catching the sight of a messy room and Taeyeon on top of a stepladder.

“Hi,” Taeyeon says cheerfully without looking at Jessica, her hands fumbling with the ceiling.

“Taengoo?”

“I hope you don’t mind me decorating our room,” Taeyeon says with a laugh. “I just thought it was so plain.”

Jessica stares at her wife’s back. Trying to comprehend what ‘decoration’ she is talking about.

“Turn off the light,” Taeyeon says as she steps down on the ladder, a remote control on her hand.

Jessica did as told, without questions. What she sees next almost makes her cry. Because, above them, in their own room, is the galaxy - or at least that’s what she thinks.

“Do you like it?” Taeyeon asks beside her, voice expectant but shy.

“Are you crazy?” Jessica says without tearing her eyes off the starry ceiling. “I love it! It’s beautiful!”

She hears Taeyeon breathe out a sigh before an arm rests above her shoulders. “I’m glad you loved it.”

“You’re crazy,” Jessica says, turning to face her wife. She stares for a moment and Taeyeon waits for what she has to say next. “You look so beautiful under these lights.”

The lights reveal Taeyeon’s blush and it makes Jessica’s heart flutter that she can make her wife blush like this. She cups Taeyeon’s cheeks, kisses her lips and pulls them together to the bed, where they lay awake until the sun came up. Talking, kissing, cuddling. Life was perfect.

Jessica’s hand caresses the side of the bed that is still made up. She smells the pillow - lavender and mint. Her tears aching to stream down, but she forces them back. Her wife doesn’t like seeing her cry.

Giggles erupted under the sheets and the bed creaks against the wooden floor. A body shifted on top of another before the sheets revealed a hyperactive Jessica on top of a sluggish Taeyeon. “Good morning, love!” Jessica says in a singsong voice.

Taeyeon pretends to be annoyed at her cheerful wife, but her hands stay on Jessica’s waist. She pucks her lips towards Jessica, asking for a kiss. Jessica playfully shakes her head and covers with her hands before Taeyeon pulls her down and successfully getting her morning kiss.

“We have work in an hour,” Jessica says, trying to escape Taeyeon’s hold on her.

“It’s still an hour away,” Taeyeon says in a playful voice, her hold tightening around Jessica. There’s plenty of time to spare.

“Taengoo!”

Taeyeon laughs, and rolls them so she’s on top of Jessica now. “We haven’t had morning for a while now,” she says as she inches her faces closer to Jessica’s until the tip of their nose are touching.

Jessica bit her lower lip when Taeyeon’s lips move to attack her neck. She holds it in, knowing better than to turn Taeyeon on - although it’s very obvious that Taeyeon’s already . She can’t be late for work. They can’t be late for work.

Taeyeon continues her neck, lightly at first, and when she can’t get any reaction from Jessica, the turns a little rough.

“Really?” She raises her head to look at Jessica. “No nothing?” But she knows better by looking at her wife’s glaze eyes.

Taeyeon smirks and sensually inserts her hand into her old shirt that was on Jessica. A moan finally escapes her wife’s lips when her hands touch smooth skin, encouraging Taeyeon as her hand move like they had a life of their own, touching places she knows so well. She kisses Jessica again, and this time her wife’s kisses back.

“Five minutes,” Jessica whispers in between kisses.

“Can’t promise,” Taeyeon answers, mouth moving south.

Jessica hugs herself tight, as if it can take away the coldness she feels. She has the heater but it doesn’t seem to work. She still feels cold to the bones. Even Taeyeon's sweater can’t take the coldness away. Then, finally, a tear escapes from her eyes because she realizes what's missing. And, for the first time in two months, she cries and grieves for a great love.

“Baby, I’m on my way home.” Jessica breathes out a sigh of relief as soon as she heard those words coming from the other line.

“Okay, thank goodness, I was so worried. Please take care, I heard the roads are still covered with snow.”

“Don’t worry, my brother is driving. We’ll be fine.”

“Okay, okay. Just please get here safe.”

“Yes, baby, I love yo-!”

“Taengoo? What’s happening?”

“Nothing, don’t worry. The tire just slipped. But we’re fine now.”

Jessica holds her breath. “Are you sure you’re fine?” She bites the nail of her thumb - a habit she had forgotten since college. “Baby why don’t you just spend the night in your parents’ house? You can just come home early tomorrow, okay? I don’t want you traveling in this kind of weather.”

“No, no, we’re almost there. We’re already in the city. And I don’t want you sleeping alone. I know you can’t sleep without m-!”

Jessica rises up from their couch, her whole body shaking. She’s sure she heard a loud horn before Taeyeon could finish what she said. “Taeyeon! What’s happening! Answer me!”

No answer.

“Taeyeon! Please! This is not funny!”

No answer. Beep.

Tears streaming down her face, and she tries calling Taeyeon again, but the operator cannot reach her number.

Jessica’s knees grow weak and she falls to the floor, her hands clutching her phone tight. She tries calling Taeyeon again, but it’s just still the same.

And it’s funny how life plays out. Because that night, she was supposed to tell Taeyeon that she’s ready to adopt a child - something Taeyeon had been hinting about for the past months.

The dreaded news came from the police a few moments later.

Now Jessica sleeps alone, and she’s pretty sure Taeyeon would be proud of how independent she has become. Although, she thinks she’s not really alone. Because Taeyeon’s presence still lingers in her life-in their house. Like she’s never really gone.

“I love you, Taeyeon,” she whispers to nobody, hoping it would somehow reach Taeyeon. Or Taeyeon could hear it herself.

Sometimes, the loneliness is just so overwhelming that Jessica can’t help but wonder how it would be if she follows Taeyeon to the other side and continue their happy ever after. As soon as those thoughts come, though, they vanish. She still has a life to continue and she knows that Taeyeon wouldn’t be happy about the thought. So for now she sleeps, because tomorrow is another battle to win. Another day to survive. And someday, she knows--she believes, that their story will continue. On the other side. Or in another life. In another time. She doesn’t care, as long as she’s with Taeyeon again.

Your touch, your skin where do I begin?

No words can explain the way I'm missing you.