o8

I played the pencil between my fingers, uninterestedly watching it running through every spaces before it landed on the table.

“Ya, what’s wrong with you?” Hana frowned.

I glanced at her for a while, before slowly shook my head.

“You can’t lie to me,” she chuckled, continue her work on the textbook back, “I know you’re worrying over Bang Yongguk.”

I cluelessly looked at her, wondering how could she knew about it.

“Well, well—I know you long enough,” she hummed along.

She was right. I was thinking about Yongguk.

That guy, once again, was included on the lowest score of our class. And that was possible for him to didn’t pass the final test.

“He’s studying real hard lately,” Hana convinced me again. “You just have to send prayer for him.”

Prayer?

“Yeah, prayer,” she answered even before I asked, “like, “I hope Bang Yongguk oppa can passed the test”.”

I raised my eyebrows, amazed by the way she read my mind.

“I,” I muttered, hesitantly drawing on the book, “I always pray for him.”

Then, she looked at me. And I could see her coming teases.

“Ah—always, right?” she laughed. “I see, I see.”

I pursed my lips as soon as she teased me. I didn’t think it’s useful at all.

“Well, if you are really determined to help him,” she went back to the serious mode, “you can go and pray at the Shin temple.”

Temple?

“It becomes such belief that if you go to have a prayer there, whatever your wishes will become true,” she explained, yet some doubts were displaying later through her twitched lips. “That’s what people said, though.”





It was the last day of school and I was patiently waiting for Yongguk in the class.

He must be doing his best as he attended everyday extra courses yet I couldn’t see his progression moreover the finas test was coming soon in two days. I hoped he could make it no matter what. And that day, I prepared myself to give him consoles.

I would try to talk more.

Since I didn’t know whether we would be on the same class again or not—I thought I have to use this last chance as good as possible. I wouldn’t let it slip away again.

“Song Jieun?”

I turned around, and found Hyosung was standing near the door.

Her bright smile wasn’t there.

“Stop sticking into Yongguk,” she strictly said.

What?

Sticking?

“You’re a ’rose’. The one that attracts everyone attention even without speaking a word,” she paused for a while, “then, what are you doing with Yongguk?”

I couldn’t understand.

What was I doing?

“I know you’re just playing his interest towards you. You think you’re pretty enough to catch his heart then throw it away like a trash, right?” she raised her voice, but I could hear the way it shaken a little.

What was she talking about?

Catch his heart then throw it away?

I never had those kind of thoughts.

“I’m telling you—” she sighed, tears were slowly falling from her eyes. “I love him.”

She—loved him?

“So please stop making him your doll. You can get other handsome guy easily that’s why I’m begging you, let him go,” her voice sinked into sobbing, the only one that filled the entire classroom at once.

While I just stood there, didn’t know how to face that kind of thing.

I needed to say something. I needed to explain that I wasn’t like that.

Yet I found no way to do so.

“I think you already understand. I’ll never be able to beat you so you must know when to stop this,” she muttered, before turned and leaving me alone there.

I was confused.

When to stop—did she ask me to leave him?

Just because people thought I was a perfect ’rose’?

“Jun Hyosung!” I called out, and running to chase after her but I stopped in front of the door the moment I saw those person.

A guy that was slowly walking farther through the corridor.





God, God,

Did I just lost another chance again?

I stood in front of the altar, looking down at my both shoes before slowly closed my eyes and joined my hands to begin praying.

I could feel the breeze that was genuinely brushing my face and hear the wind chimes that was playing a beautiful melody between the silence.

That somehow, made me feeling acceptable.

God, God—do you hear me?

My sins, my fault, my oversight—please, forgive me.

I didn’t try my best, I didn’t try to hold it tighter,

I didn’t try to capture it well.

That’s my fault, all of them.

But, am I allowed to ask for something again?


Will you hear me?

I wish Yongguk can passed the test and got into the second grade.

He’s doing his best. I believe he is.

I wish Hyosung can find happiness and please bring back her smile.

She’s a nice person. I know.

And last,

I wish—


I will stop being a ’rose’.




But then, I realized.

That not every wishes can be fulfilled.