18

I could hear his footsteps and his stable breathing.

I could feel his existence right next to me.

Yet he still felt so far somehow.

If he agreed to walk home together, didn’t it mean that he still accept me?

So why did he stop talking to me lately?

Was it because of Hyosung?

What kind of relationship that they had?

And I, trapped into my own thoughts again.

Even though I knew I must begin talking before it’s too late.

“It’s been a long time,” I muttered, fixing my eyes to the ground.

I could feel him turning and looked at me. But I didn’t have enough courage to see him yet.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

With his deep voice that I missed a lot.

“Good,” I shortly replied.

There’s a long silence between us, where we sinked into our own thoughts alone.

Just like how it used to be.

“I saw you on tennis club,” he said.

Ah—he indeed saw me.

Yet he didn’t come nor smile.

“I already quit,” I told him.

He stopped from walking while keep staring at me. “Why?”

I turned around, finally met with his face that I thought I would never be able to see it that close anymore.

His dark eyes that fixed on me.

“Because,” I sighed, “I didn’t get what I want.”

He was still looking at me.

Still, without any changing expression.

“What was it?” he asked.

Did you really don’t know?

I looked at the ground, where our shadows laying there. “Someone.”

“Hyosung told me everything,”

I tilted my head back, finding him still looking at me deep through his eyes.

“She told me that you aren’t that kind of person,” he went on.

Hyosung? Why did she do that?

He sighed. “And I want to apologize for believing it, without asking for your explanation.”

That’s it?

“You don’t need to,” I shook my head.

I was the one that should be sorry for everything.

He smiled.

And my eyes captured its beauty.

Really—I just realized how much I missed him.

“So we are alright now?” I wondered.

Could we become like we used to be again?

It wasn’t too late, right?

“Yeah, I guess so,” he chuckled.

He was walking passed by me, and I following on his back with both eyes sticked into his figure.

With still one question left between my relief.

“Who is Hyosung?” I forced myself to ask.

He turned, with a bitter smile placed on his face.

“My step-sister.”






Was that only a dream?

I woke up the next morning wondering about what happened yesterday.

It felt like impossible—that all of my questions and worries about Yongguk finally solved by a single day.

But when I arrived at school and met him on the gate—I knew it was real.

“What’s wrong with him?” Hana scoffed after saw Yongguk was smiling at me.

I pursed my lips, trying to reduce my quicken heartbeat.

“Do you guys get together again?” she asked, realized that I became nervous out of a sudden.

I looked at Hana, didn’t know how to explain it to her but she managed to read my mind somehow.

“Oh God, I can’t believe it,” she shook her head.

I smiled.

I knew she was just worry about me. But I was alright. I finally was.

“You know,” I whispered, “I won’t hurt him.”

“Good morning,” Yongguk smiled as soon as I walked to his way.

“Morning,” I replied.

“You don’t feel awkward, do you?” he chuckled. “It’s been a really long time.”

No, not at all.

I was really, really happy.

“What class are you in?” he asked.

“2-8,” I replied.

He nodded. “I’m in 2-5.”

I knew.

“How’s your class? Is it fun?” he looked at me.

“It’s nice,” I said. “I have a friend there.”

“A close one?” he wondered.

I nodded. “He’s really kind.”

He smiled, “I guess your new friend gives you a good impact.”

My eyebrows unpurposely lifted up, wondering what did he mean by that.

“You talk a lot,” he pointed out. “Not that a lot though but much better than before.”

Yes. Junhong taught me a lot.

If it wasn’t him, I didn’t think I would have so much brave to approach Yongguk like this.

I didn’t think I could learn how to deal with regrets, and how to look for the best way out.

But—I wondered.

Would he still be my friend after all of this?

“Guess I have to say congrats?”

I looked at Junhong that was leaning against his chair, showing his signature smirk as he said it.

“I saw you with Yongguk,” he pointed out.

So he saw it.

“Yes,” I nodded.

“I’m glad you did it,” he chuckled. “Did you bump into wall seriously?”

I smiled. I really wanted to say thank you but afraid if I did, everything would be over.

That’s why I didn’t say anything.

And just watched him switching over the topic instead.

Because—I didn’t want to lose him as a friend.

I really didn’t want to.

At least,

That’s what I thought that time.

It was the early autumn.

Where Yongguk came out in front of my house on his new bike.

“Good morning,” he grinned.

I went silent for a moment.

Wondering what better to say.

“New bike?” I finally asked.

“Ah—this is an old bike that I used when we were still on middle school. Do you remember?” he rode the bike in front of me.

Of course.

He looked weird riding those bike before because he was still so short that time.

“I remember,” I replied, getting on the back seat.

“Really?” he looked quite surprised.

I saw him a couple times back then. Even though I didn’t really put my attention to him—I still remember how he used to look.

“I was still a nerd,” he said. “While you’re already a rose.”

I looked up, watching the edge of his hair that had become a little longer, already reaching the back of his neck.

How a little thing could changed by a short time.

“Many people talked about you. And since I wasn’t popular at all, I could only watch you from afar,” he laughed. “Now, you’re so close to me.”

He watched me since long time ago?

He really did?

“I wasn’t a ’rose’,” I muttered.

“...A rose can survive by its own.”

“I couldn’t really survive,” I gripped my bag tightly, “but, you turned me into one.”

He didn’t look back, and just keep riding his bike forward.

Until finally, he forced a short chuckle.

“Did I?” he wondered. “I feel like I destructed you.”

“No, you didn’t,” I denied.

How could he think that way?

“Jieun-ah,” he paused for a while, “I’ve been thinking about this.”

I waited, looking up to see him from the back.

“I may not have enough courage yet. But somehow, I really want to protect you,” he muttered. “No matter you are a ’rose’ or not—for me, you’re always Song Jieun. I think about you with this way.”

That’s okay, that’s okay.

Don’t say something like that.

“I’m not perfect too,” I said. “That’s why, it’s alright.”

I could feel his smile, how he slightly bowed his head down—and how the edge of his ears got redden.

And how I had my biggest smile when I saw it.



God, God,

Am I just falling for him?