o6

I was standing near the gate, looking up to the dark sky with hidden moon behind the clouds while my both hands tightly grabbing into my bag’s strip.

I wasn’t a type that would wait until so late to go home. In fact, I was the opposite.

But I found myself patiently waiting there, alone. It wasn’t like myself at all. It felt like I turned into another person.

And I wondered why.

Then, I knew the reason when I saw those guy was walking closer to me, while obviously holding back a smile.

I knew the reason.

“You really wait for me,” he said, carefully.

I looked at him, wondering why did he look so timid with unfocused gaze and pursed lips—unlike how he usually look like.

“I have promised,” I shortly replied.





We were walking down the street, with around half metre length from each other and both tightly shutted lips.

I really wanted to start a conversation but my mind just didn’t know how to work.

Should I asked him about the extra course?

Wouldn’t he feel pressured?

“How—” I muttered a word.

And he quickly turned at me.

“How’s the course?” I asked, looking into his lightened up eyes.

“It’s good,” he genuinely smiled. “I don’t know whether it could be called good or not—I guess, it’s okay?”

I nodded, thinking of another thing to say.

“Isn’t it boring to wait?” he wondered.

I shook my head.

I didn’t think it was boring at all since I used it to list everything that I want to say—although I ended up still having difficulties on spoiling them out.

“If you feel like tired, it’s okay to go home first,” he remarked.

I knew he was just worry about me.

But I took them as a rejection instead.

“Do you hate it?” I fearfully asked.

I saw his eyes widened, and his feet slowly stopped from walking forward.

“No! That’s not what I mean,” he denied. “I don’t hate it.”

Then?

Did it mean that he prefer me to wait?

“I,” I crashed my gaze against the ground, “I do this because I want to.”

I was waiting for an answer but he just remained silence. But as I looked up to see his face—I saw his face got redden.

Or I just saw it wrong.

“It’s fine then,” he cleared his throat, turning around and began walking again.

And I just wordlessly walking beside him, slowly feeling the pulses inside of my chest and the coldness that’s crawling from the edge of my fingers.

Yet I think I still didn’t understand why.





“It’s been a month since you guys go home together, right?”

I put down the tray on the table, before looking at Hana that was taking a seat in front of me.

She was talking about me and Yongguk that had been going home together for more than a month. Which seemed growing curiosity on her.

“And that just it?” she raised her eyebrows.

I stared at her, cluelessly.

“Wait, don’t say that you don’t understand my intention,” she held out her forefinger at my face.

Because I didn’t allow to say that I didn’t understand, I stayed silence until she groaned in frustation.

“You guys are so motionless!” she squealed. “So, you’re going to say that, all this time, you guys just walk home together without doing something else?”

That wasn’t true.

“We do talk, sometimes,” I cut off.

But she turned more angrier.

“If you guys aren’t talking either I think I would prefer to kill myself,” she sighed. “What I mean is—doesn’t he say something or ask you out, maybe?”

I shook my head. Without even thinking.

“Oh, gosh. You just reunite with the same species,” she rolled her eyes. “Come on, asking you to walk home everyday and always secretly looked at you—it’s just too obvious!”

My eyebrows lifted up. Secretly looked at me?

“What do you mean?” I had no idea.

“You may be never notice it but actually, I always spot him looking at you,” she blabbered. “But the most important thing is, why doesn’t he confess to you already?”

Looking at me? Confess?

What did she mean?

“Listen, Jieun-ah. I think he’s in love with you. I believe it’s just about time for him to confess his feelings.”





The snow was falling down into my head as I stepped out of the bus, and I looked up into the blue sky and thin white clouds that were swaying under them while the snow slowly fell down to the earth.

And finally, it was winter.

“I’m freezing!” Hana clasped her hands tightly, blowing her warm breath into them to decrease the coldness.

I put my hands inside of my sweater, feeling a little warmth but it wasn’t enough to sweep the redness on my nose. It was indeed so cold.

“Ah—it’d be better if I have a boyfriend so I can hug him,” Hana imagined, a grin was hanging onto her face.

And as she mentioned about it, I remembered the talk that we had about Yongguk last week.

Yet what Hana said to me didn’t happen at all. We were just continue walking home together. Nothing less and nothing more.

And I wasn’t really sure whether to feel relieve or unhappy.

“Good morning,” he suddenly appeared beside me, showing his genuine smile as usual.

I looked at him for a moment, before bowed down once.

“Ah—I have to look for my club’s leader first. See you later, Jieun!” Hana quickly said and running into the building before I could even answer her.

I knew she just made up those reason to leave us alone.

“She’s so busy, huh?” he chuckled, looking at my nose afterwards. “It’s red.”

I wasn’t really sure he’s referring to my nose so I just looked at him, wondering.

“Is it that cold?” he laughed, gave a quick touch on my nose with his thumb.

And I felt my nose heated up in a sudden.

“Y-yeah,” I stuttered.

“Really?” he tilted his head to the right, thinking about something before he came out with an idea. “Let’s have a warm drink first.”





I carefully took a sip of the hot chocolate that he ordered for me, before a relief sigh escaped my slightly opened lips later.

“Is it better?” he asked after watching my facial changes.

I nodded.

“This year’s winter is probably the coldest one, right?” he chuckled. “When I opened the door this morning, the snow was coming inside my house. I was really surprised.”

I smiled, listening to him telling me about his daily routine as usual. He’s always the one that trying to start a talk, whatever the topic was—and I kind of felt bad for him. If only I could express my feelings like other normal people could easily do.

If only.

Or was it just me that hadn’t try my best yet?

“Bang Yongguk,”

I looked up and found Hyosung was standing on the side of our table. Her usual bright smile wasn’t there. Instead, I could see the hidden anger behind her steady expression.

“I want to talk,” she muttered, didn’t even mind looking at me.

I watched Yongguk just plainly looked at her—and I couldn’t read what was inside of his mind at all.

“Just talk then,” he said.

And finally, Hyosung took a quick glance of me.

For the first time—and it wasn’t a friendly one.

“Not here,” she said as soon as her eyes fixed on Yongguk back. “It won’t be that long.”

Yongguk looked at me, like trying to ask me whether he could take his time or not which I didn’t understand why he should put myself into consideration.

Why I must involved into their business?

Why Hyosung must looked at me with those kind of stare?

Why did I have to be between them?

“I,” I clenched my fists, trying to get myself back. “I’ll go to class first.”

But more than everything—why did I have to feel this kind of painful feelings?