23

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I found myself walking down the stairs in slow yet heavy steps, asking my ownself what to do when I finally met him at the hall.

Should I just casually greeted him? Or just stayed silent? Or convinced him that I really didn’t want to see him again?

I hadn’t find the answer when finally, I was already got to the hall.

He was standing there, leaning against the wall with both eyes fixed on the floor. His black scarf was wrapping from under his lips to the neck, while his black coat with the same colour was hugging his figure which give a more thick appearance.

And all of my doubts just went away right after I saw him there.

It was winter and the soccer club must already discontinued since weeks ago. That means—he had been waiting for me since two hours ago.

Waiting for me.

“Ah, hey,” he muttered as I walking closer to him, finding out that his lips got pale possibly because of waiting outside for that long.

I didn’t reply him. More like, didn’t know how.

Or I just want to see how things would go according to his wants.

“I want to say something to you,” he said later.

“Go on,” I quickly nodded.

He straightened his position, looking straight into my eyes.

“If you ask me about us, I don’t think I can give you an answer yet,” he started. “I’m surrounded by people that needs me, either it’s from physical and emotional—and I can’t leave them behind, pretending that it’s not my business.”

I kept staring at him. The way his eyes fixed on mine, his pale lips that timidly talking word by word, and his breathing that sometimes got heavier—indicating that he had difficulties on saying that.

“I want to make everyone around me happy,” he stated. “Either it’s my mother, my step-father, Hyosung and you.”

Make everyone happy? How?

How could he think that’s even possible?

“My biggest regret until now is that I can’t make my father happy, that I can’t give him my shoulders when he needed it the most,” he slightly looking down at the floor, just to avoid my gaze. “I can’t leave them. I’m the only one that should give safety to them.”

I watched him that was touching his own temples, like just remembering old scenes that brought pains to himself. And I couldn’t stand to see him like that.

“It’s okay,” I said, holding his hand down from his temple, and locked my eyes with him as he looked at me. “It’s okay if you want to make everyone happy. It’s okay.”

He still looked at me, through his deep dark eyes that filled with questions.

“You don’t have to make me happy,” I whispered, tightly gripping into his both cold hands. “Just please, don’t leave me alone again.”

Was it wrong to keep on believing?

To listen to my heart’s voice that’s telling he’s the one?

For knowing all the possible pains that might have waited for me in the front,

yet still keeping my faith that everything would be just alright?

“I won’t,” he leant his forehead towards mine, slowly whispering his promise to me. “I won’t leave you alone.”

I might not understand him completely.

I might not understand what happened in his life.

I might not understand his way of thinking.

But I just understand one thing—that I wanted him to be happy.

That I wanted to bring him happiness.

“So you guys finally make it up,” Junhong said when we met him on the parking lot.

“Yes, thank you,” Yongguk tapped his shoulder once.

“Never mind,” he dragged his bike out, eyes still avoiding my gaze. “I just hope that you can keep this for a long time.”

“Junhong,” I called when he was about to turn and leave.

“Hmm?” he asked, without looking at me.

“Thanks,” I muttered.

I heard his chuckle, before he got into his bike in one jump. “Not a problem, Jieunnie.”

I watched him leaving the school field, without knowing how did he look like as he replied to me. I really wanted to see him smiling and congrats me for my sudden brave, since I got them after talking to him before.

“So, he’s a friend that you talked about,” Yongguk concluded, dragging out his bike and jumped into the front seat.

“Yes,” I nodded, getting on the seat behind him before he drove his bike forward.

“He’s indeed a nice person,” he complimented.

And I wondered if Yongguk didn’t know that Junhong was Hyosung’s ex-boyfriend.

“Since when does Hyosung become your step-sister?” I forced myself to ask.

“Since the end of middle school. My mother married to her father,” he replied.

“Do you happy with it?” I wondered.

“With my mother’s second marriage?” he wanted to make sure but since I gave no answer, he continued right away, “as long as she’s happy with him, then I don’t think I have problems.”

He’s always thinking about everyone’s feelings.

“What about Hyosung?” those question slipped out of my mouth but I quickly added, “no, I mean—”

“She’s not happy with the marriage,” he cut off my words. “She doesn’t like her father at the first place so these things just added her annoyance.”

I pursed my lips. “Why?”

“So many things happened before. She already faced a lot of suffer,” he paused for awhile, “she thinks that nobody understand her besides me.”

“That’s why you’re so close with her,” I muttered.

“I consider her as my real sister. And I never expect her to have those kind of feelings towards me,” he mentioned about the talk that I had with Hyosung year ago. “It’s alright now. I have already explained it to her.”

I felt something was landed on my head and I slowly looked up, finding out that the snow was finally falling from the sky.

“Snow!” he exclaimed, laughing at his own childish act later.

I smiled, brushing the white snow that was falling into his coat away.

“Let’s be on the same class next year,” he made a wish.

I smiled again. Just imagining them already brought happiness to me.

“And never ignore each other again,” he quickly added.

Yes. Let’s make it come true.

God, God,

Please, give us happiness.

“What the—you guys get together again?” Hana squealed when she saw Yongguk and me walking to school together, since it was too dangerous to use bike on the slippery snow.

We’re just smiled. I knew whatever I said would be just the same. Hana would never approve him no matter what.

“I can’t believe you,” she shook her head.

“Please take care of me,” Yongguk grinned.

“What? How disgusting!” she scoffed. “Show me that you can take care of Jieun first!”

“I will,” he promised.

And I quickly tugged my scarf higher to hide my blushing cheeks.

“See you on the lunch break,” she looked at me, before suddenly remembered something and gave a quick glare to Yongguk. “Without him.”

I nodded. She might have a lot to say about this matter.

“She’s still haven’t changed,” Yongguk chuckled.

I smiled. Even though I knew he couldn’t see it behind my scarf.

“Will Hyosung be okay?” I wondered, talking about him that was walking school and home with me.

“She’s alright,” he confidently replied. “If there’s something, she will come to me.”

I nodded, feeling relief that I didn’t have to worry about her.

“Are you taking extra courses again?” I asked after searching for a topic.

“Ah, no,” he smiled. “I’ve been progressing a lot!”

“Really?” I raised my eyebrows.

“Mr. Kang is my homeroom teacher so you should have already know how strict he is,” he explained.

Ah—that must be hard.

“How about going for a walk after school?” he asked.

I finally looked up to see him, but quickly lowered my gaze into the floor again. “Alright.”

“Then it’s fixed,” he nodded in satisfaction. “I won’t break my promise. You can hit my head if I did it again.”

I chuckled. “Impossible. You’re so tall.”

“I’ll bend down a little,” he grinned.

I wanted to continue our talk but surprisingly, we had already arrived at my class. It felt so fast that I needed some seconds to re-read the board at the top of the door.

“You talk a lot,” he said. “And I like it.”

I looked at him, watching the tip of his nose that got reddened—whether it’s because of the cold wheather of because of our talk, I didn’t really know. But one thing that I knew was, I couldn’t hold back my smile to see it.

“See you after school then,” he said, before walking away from my side to get into his class.

I wanted to say something. I knew I had to.

But what should I say to him?

“Yongguk-ah!” I called, and surprised to hear my own voice.

I saw him got a bit surprised too, since I had never talked in those kind of loud voice but I tried to brush the embarassment away to continue what I wanted to say.

I wanted to cherish every moments with him.

“Have a nice day.”

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A/N: lol what’s with the “have a nice day”? I believed most of you just couldn’t believe that was what she wanted to say. Since Jieun is more likely an innocence and awkward person there, I don’t think writing a fast progression is a good thing yet as you can see, she’s trying her best too. I don’t want to make her as a passive girl either. And, thank you for every comments that you put below. I always waiting for comments after updating chapter and reading them will make me more motivated to write even better and faster. Please keep support this fic! :>