11

I could barely hear the teacher’s explanations in the front class, where I found it so hard to keep on my consciousness.

I wanted to lay down. Anywhere. Just so I could rest myself for a while.

“What’s happened?”

I turned, and it was Junhong, looking at my right hand through his widening eyes.

I got so many sores on my hand, and some band-aids were there on my palms.

I didn’t know it looks that bad.

“Are you got beaten?” he still patiently waiting for my answer.

I shook my head.

“Then?” he tilted his head to the right side, bewildered.

I stared at him for a moment, wondering whether it was a good decision to tell him or not.

But I found no reasons to hide it from him.

“Tennis,” I slowly muttered.

And I saw him went silent for a second.

“You played tennis?” he guessed, “you took tennis extracurricular?”

I nodded.

Then, he didn’t say anything again.

And I also didn’t try to keep our talk going.





“Today, I want you to improve your physical energy. For warming up, go run for ten rounds! Chop, chop!” the trainer shouted, and blew his whistle as soon as he finished the instruction.

I tied up my shoes once again before began running with the other twenty members on the field.

As I ran towards, my eyes were looking for his appearance on the soccer field, tried my best to keep on the track and the searching.

And it wasn’t that hard.

I found him—on the first try.


He was sitting on the side of the field, gulping his water while watching his teammate doing warming up. Looking from his tired looks, he probably had already done the practice before. Little did I know that sometimes, he would do an earlier practice by himself.

I kept on running, as my eyes fixed on his figure.


I wondered why would he do if he found out I was on the tennis team.

Would he come and greet me?

Would he smile at me?

Or—would he just ignore me?

And as I looked into him back, I saw Hyosung was already sitting by his side.

They were talking and sometimes even laughed, mostly because of Hyosung’s words.

She would slightly touched his shoulder to tell him something and clapped her hands in cute way.

She looked at him with both lightened up eyes, and those smile just never leave her beautiful face since then.

She was very beautiful.



And I accidentally fell off after having that kind of thoughts.

“Hey, are you okay?” someone asked me, while offering me her hand.

I looked up at her, and realized it was the senior member that played with me days ago.

I nodded my head, and slowly took her hand.

But as I brought myself back on the ground—I saw him looking at me from afar.


With an undescribeable stare.


And since then, I never looked into soccer field again.




It was three weeks after I joined tennis club,

when our trainer called my name after the extracurricular ended.

“If you don’t have any determination to stay here, then just find other activity that suits you better,” he said.

I didn’t reply him. And he took it as my sadness with telling me that he would wait for me a little longer.

But it wasn’t like that.

I did have the same thoughts.

Yongguk never came to greet me, or showing a smile whenever our eyes met. It meant—he didn’t want to know me anymore.

I didn’t do any good progression either and I couldn’t deny the truth that I would never be able to play well. It was just not myself.

And—I couldn’t handle those painful feelings to know that he was still remained friends with Hyosung.

He turned his back at me then go back to that girl.

I didn’t know what to feel.

I didn’t have any rights to be mad, or to blame him.

I became a weird person.

And I hated the way I lived.

No matter how hard I tried, our distance just never got decreased. And I couldn’t force him to came across my place as well.

What’s wrong with me?


I—just did the useless thing in my life.