17

I frowned, looking at Hana that was riding her bike next to me.

“You have to believe me. He likes you,” she insisted.

I didn’t think so.

How could he like me?

“Do you think so?” I warily asked.

She nodded. “I think so.”

I looked at the ground, wondering something inside of my head.

Then—what about him?

“Do you think he likes me too?” I wondered.

Hana turned and looked at me. It’s so obvious that she could figure out what I mean.

“I don’t think so,” she replied.

I looked at her, questioning why did she think that way.

“Well, he probably does. But he’s just the same as you. He can’t fight for what he wants.”

Same as me?

“You better not to be with him. Because it will just causing pains for both sides.”






God, God,

I really didn’t know which path to take.

The sun was shining so bright, looking like a ball of fire for me as I watched its burning from the dancing class window.

It was almost the end of summer—a half of the year.

Where I never talked to Yongguk since then.

Slowly, my eyes shifted down, into the soccer field that was full of people in uniform.

Ah—that’s soccer club practice.

And although I didn’t mean to find him,

He just stood out the most between the others.

He was running across the field, trying to steal the ball while sometimes, he would give an eye contact with the other teammates. He would trip off, fell in attempt to do sliding but in the end, he got up again.

He was doing his best to win over the game.

And I wondered why he couldn’t do the same for the other thing.

“Watching him again,”

I turned as I heard that voice.

And found that Junhong was already standing by my side, looking at the same direction as me.

“You’re right,” I muttered. “I regret.”

Regret, and disappointed.

Why it had to be so hard?

Honestly, where did we go wrong?

“It’s good if you do,” he sighed, leaning against the window without looking at me. “That means you know you did mistakes before.”

Right. I did.

“Listen,” he cleared his throat, “you guys aren’t state—not even town apart. You can still see him and so does he. You still have those chance to talk with him and he still could give you an answer.”

He paused for awhile. Deep sigh escaped his parted lips right before he continued.

“Don’t you know you still can make up everything?”

What?

Didn’t he like me?

Or Hana was finally wrong this time?

And as always,

Did I just misread the sign again?






I thought all the blames was only at me.

How to start a conversation?

What should I say to him?

“How are you?”

“Are you doing well?”

“Do you still remember me?”

I didn’t understand why did I always turn to be so clueless everytime I was going to meet him.

Was that normal to prepare everything word by word before starting a talk?

I didn’t know.

I gripped into my bag’s strip tightly, looking around the crowds in worry.

He must still at the club.

I just had to wait a little longer.

Inhale, exhale.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Yet the pressure right inside of my chest was still there.

Moreover, when I saw him walking out of the hall alone.

A black sling bag was hugging his chest, while his right hand was holding onto a coat—his habit since long time ago.

I had to smile.

I had learned to do that lately.

Relaxed, and smile.

Don’t make this as my future regrets.

But my lips couldn’t move even just a little.

I just stood there, watching him without emotions.

Until he saw me and his steps went slower.

What should I say?

Why did I feel like crying instead?

Don’t put on that kind of face, Yongguk.

Can’t we just stay the way we used to be?

“Let’s go home together.”