o2

I walked out from the school’s building side-to-side with Hana that afternoon, talking about why did people called me a ’rose’ since I couldn’t figure it out myself. And it turned out pretty disgusting.

“What’s wrong with that meaning,” I faked a chuckle, still fixing my eyes on the ground.

“You must feel proud,” Hana insisted. “That’s because you’re really pretty that everyone calls you that way.”

No. Other girls became much prettier than me lately.

I knew it.

“Hey, it’s Bang Yongguk,” Hana muttered.

I looked up way too fast that Hana gave me such a stare for a moment. But I didn’t really care. My eyes just went through the crowds into where that guy stood near the gate, with two of his friends that I didn’t really acknowledge.

And like what I usually saw—there’s a different colour around him.

“Why do you look so curious?” Hana asked, yet I knew her true intention was to tease me.

I shook my head, slowly put my eyes on the ground back.

“Do you finally experience what school life is?” she goes on her teasing.

I warily looked at Hana, trying to ask my ownself whether what she said was true or not. I found it hard to be explain—something that I always felt whenever I saw him, a weird feeling that quickly crushed into me—and so I just said what I see with my eyes. Didn’t want to listen to a voice that’s coming from deep within myself.

“He’s shining. That’s all.”




It was a month since I got into senior high school, when Hana finally got busy with her dancing club activity to practice choreography for our school’s event weeks later.

She couldn’t accompany me to go home again that day, where it was raining so hard that my eyes couldn’t even find anything through the rain. But, at least, I felt really lucky that I bring an umbrella that time since it wasn’t a rain that would stop less than an hour.

I took out my umbrella and about to open it when I felt someone was staring at me. Unlike what I usually did, I put down my umbrella, wanting to know who it was.

And surprisingly, my eyes met with Bang Yongguk.

“Hey,” he greeted me, without a smile.

While I just stood there. Slowly losing my sense.

I didn’t know how long I stood there but it must be long enough to make him feeling uneasy.

“Are you waiting for someone?” he asked.

I slowly shook my head. Knowing that I just became a weird person.

But then I realized what makes him didn’t go away as well.

He didn’t have an umbrella.

I shrugged everything off and opened my umbrella, slowly walking away from the hall. But everytime I took a step farther from him, I felt the pains inside of myself, where my heart beat in unnatural pace and something swirled my stomach. I hated those kind of feeling.

I hated it.

I wanted to continue walk away but then a part of me taking control instead.

I turned back. Into where those guy stood still.

He was looking at me with full of confusion stare, like asking why did I choose to come back.

I opened my mouth, wanting to say something but my voice couldn’t come out. It was frustating. Really.

And so I just held out my hand, moving the umbrella closer to him—hoping he would understand my heart.




He was really tall.

We were eventually walking home together while sharing an umbrella, through the heavy rain that still refused to stop.

We didn’t talk any single words since then. But strange, I felt real comfortable with him. With knowing he was by my side, with knowing he was walking into the same path as me. To know he was breathing beside me.


“Thanks,” he said, as soon as we arrived at my house. “I’ll return this to you tomorrow.”

I couldn’t reply him and just stood there wordlessly.

I really hated how I always lost my voice in front of him like this. I really hated myself.

“See you tomorrow,” he smiled, before turned and walking away.

And my eyes still staring at his figure, that was getting through the rain with a little run until he finally disappeared at the intersection. I didn’t feel enough with the time that we spent together—I wanted to talk with him more, get to know him better, wanted to feel those feeling within myself again.

I, cluelessly fell for him.




“Thank you,” he said, handing me the umbrella when I just arrived at my seat that morning.

I took them after staring at him for a moment, and quickly sat on my seat to avoid getting those strange feeling.

“You’re different from what the others say,” he remarked, in a sudden.

I warily turned to look at his face, only to cause the bad things happened with my sanity.

“They say you’re cold and unfriendly,” he explained, “but I think you’re really kind.”

No, I’m not—I thought.

I liked him. That’s why, I tried to fight over my self-protection and walked to where he was. I did it for a reason.

“Maybe if you can show the others your true self, they will look at you with different way,” he smiled, showing his beautiful teeth allignment.

Ah—he was indeed shining.

I saw it through my eyes—the colours that were swaying around him.

How I wanted to catch them inside my palm.

“I see your true self,” I muttered, finally.

His smile slowly faded away, replaced by the curiosity in his eyes. Obviously wondering what I was tying to say.

“That’s why,” I goes on, clenching my fists as tight as I could. “I want to be like you.”