Author's POV;

Amber cursed silently at the view of the beauty infront of her. She was breathtakingly beautiful even with her disheveled hair, no makeup on and that little trail of saliva at the corner of her lips. Krystal Jung was obviously a living goddess. 

How could anyone be so beauteous early in the morning? It was definitely a crime to be this statuesque. 

"Hey," Amber greeted seeing her letting out a loud yawn, stretching her arms. 

Krystal turned to her, beaming a smile which has never failed to make Amber's heart race. 

"Good morning, munchkin."

"I made breakfast. Go take a bath, I'll wait at the kitchen."

Krystal nodded cutely before spreading her arms wide. 

"Servant, carry me to the bathroom." She demanded, with her cat-like eyes narrowed to assure Amber that she wouldn't take no as an answer. 

Amber groaned heavily strutting towards her before lifting Krystal in her arms. 

"You're such a baby," Amber complained although her heart was enjoying every second of it. 

Krystal kissed her cheek. 

"Your baby." She insinuated before weaving delicate patterns on Amber's chest. 

Amber held her tighter, feeling the heat radiating from her body. The girl responded, slipping her arms around Amber's neck. 

"Thank you for the breakfast baby. That was really sweet." Krystal mumbled as she leaned her head on Amber's broad shoulder. 

"My queen deserves the best treatment in this world." Amber replied, kissing the top of her head. 

"Will you cook for me again tomorrow?"

'There's never going to be another tomorrow for us after today, Soojung.'

Amber offered the ghost of a smile, mumbling a little 'yes'.

Her heart was aching. It was aching so badly. 

Krystal closed her eyes , giving herself over to the moment, lulled by the steady and rhythmic sound of Amber's heartbeat. 

"Krystal, you know I love you don't you?" Amber spoke as she ran her fingers through Krystal's hair. 

Krystal faced Amber, a bemused smile lighting up her face. 

"You're always expressing your love me in every possible way. Of course you love me. I love you too." She replied without hesitation, taking Amber's hand in hers. 

"They say that if you really love someone, you have to learn to let them go aren't I right?"

"Only if one party isn't able to achieve happiness with the other despite trying and trying. Why?"

"Soojung-ah, are you happy with me?"  

Krystal furrowed her eyebrows, her expression dazed. 

"You treat me like royal. I'm happiest with you, Amber. Only you are able to make me feel this way. I'm always happy with you, only with you." She gently said, like a mother her child. 

Amber's eyes  were downcast, her lashes dark against her cheekbones. 

"I'm sorry I realized my love for you a little too late, Krystal. I'm sorry I've never been the best to you, I'm sorry I broke your heart a thousand times, I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me most, I'm sorry I treated you like a doll, I'm sorry I ever existed in your life and I'm sorry you had to put up with me for so long. I'm sorry I hurt you, Princess." Amber lamented, unable to pluck up enough courage to look at her girlfriend in the eyes. 

Krystal's eyebrows furrowed deeper,  confusion splayed across her face. 

 "I don't understand..."

Amber placed her hands upon Krystal's two shoulders. 

"It was a mistake that we ever got together. I should have never asked you out and you should have never agreed. Look at what I've gotten the both of us into. A ing mess."

"Amber what are you saying? You're scaring me." Krystal spoke in worry, her eyes bore into Amber's.

"I don't deserve you, I'm a devil. You're an angel. We're the complete opposites of each other, we won't be able to last. You're not happy, Soojung. Someone out there waits for you whether rain or shine, she has always been there. Not me. She took care of you through the toughest times when it should've been me. She loves you with all your heart since she first laid eyes on you. Whereas I, I only saw you with lust in the beginning but now I finally find myself hopelessly in love with you. But it's not enough. She deserves you more than I do, I know she'll take care of you. I know she'll cherish your heart and shower you with love and affection every day of your life. She'll be a better girlfriend to you than I could ever be to you."

Krystal stared at Amber, dumbfounded. She couldn't comprehend anything Amber had just said. She was confused, she was lost. 

"Soojung, I'm leaving."

And that instantly broke Krystal. 

She dropped to her knees. Her expression waxy, almost lifeless. She simply stared into space, her limbs unmoved. 

Amber felt a pang in her heart at the sight, her system crying out in pain.  

"Soojung get up. Don't be like this, you don't understand. Don't do this to me Krystal!" Amber cried, tears already streaming down her face as she tried lifting the girl up but to no avail. 

"Why?"

"It's complicated."

"Why Amber?"

"You won't understand! You won't! Just get up now! Don't make things harder than it already is!"

"Then make me understand Amber!" Krystal screamed, her eyes bright with tears. 

Amber grieved seeing the girl cry. It pained her even more that she was the cause of it. 

She soughed, messing her hair up. She took a deep breath to steel herself. 

"I cheated on you Krystal. I'm a ing cheater. A ing liar. I went out with another girl while you laid in bed crying over me, holding my sweater close to your chest. I ed another girl behind your back when you were at work. I kissed her, I hugged her, I held her hand, I loved her, Krystal. I wasn't faithful. I you, I abused you, I insulted you and I didn't appreciate you being there for me. I pushed you away, refusing to let you in. I was always torturing you with deathly blows whenever I could. You'd cry and cry, begging me to stop but I'd carry on anyway..." Amber trailed off, lost in thought. 

"I'm a monster, Krystal..... A monster.. I was with her even before we got together." She deplored, feeling as drained and spent as an empty level. 

Krystal felt adrenaline surge through her mind, every nerve awakening as she tried to grasp Amber's full meaning. 

"Y-you ch-cheated on me?" Krystal's voice cracked, her heart overwhelmed by sadness and devastation. 

Amber hung her head low, feeling a distinct and uncomfortable frisson of guilt. 

"You liar! You liar! You betrayed me! You cheated on me! You lied to me! You liar! Bastard, how dare you!" Krystal thundered, her fists violently pounding against Amber's body as tears flowed down like endless rivers. 

Amber remained unshaken, swallowing her pride and courage infront of her significant other. 

She could only looked at Krystal with similar wistfulness and despair. 

Krystal eventually came to a stop, gripping tightly into Amber's shirt as though her life depended on it. 

Softly, she mumbled,

"Why Amber? Aren't I good enough for you? Aren't I pretty enough for you? Why'd you do this to me Amber?" 

Krystal's head buried deep in Amber's neck. 

"I caused everything that you've turned out to be. You lost your memory thanks to me. You remember nothing but false memories. You're living in a world of lies and deceptions. I left you hanging, I left you to suffer instead of protecting you. I broke all my promises and I just... I just don't deserve someone like you, Krystal." Amber languished, her hand slowly Krystal's left cheek.

"I don't get it... Why are you doing this to me, baby?" Krystal questioned, her voice as though of a five year old kid. 

The knot of fear growing tighter. 

"You've heard enough, Princess. I've hurt you enough." 

"You liar! Tell me that all of this isn't true! Wake me up from this nightmare! You're lying to me! You cheater! You bastard! You bloody liar!" Krystal instantly broke into a fit, going berserk as she began screaming at the top of her voice. 

"Krystal calm down!" 

"You lied! You lied!"

A burning rage fired up within the pit of her stomach as her vision went red with rage. 

Krystal rentlessly ran around, throwing every thing that she saw upon the ground. She was growling like a mad wolf, shooting daggers at Amber with her eyes. Her face was fuming red, her jaws clenched in rage. 

Amber had pushed the wrong button. 

She broke the table. She broke the chair. She broke the television. She flipped the sofa over. She tore the cushions apart. 

And she broke the frame consisting of a photo of the couple. 

The exact incident was replaying itself. 

Right before Amber's eyes. 

It was all happening again. 

"Krystal stop it, stop!" She outcried in frantic desperation, clueless of how to handle the now violent girl. 

"Shut up! You lied to me!" Krystal screamed as she saw the world through shades of red. 

"I did it for your sake! Now calm down already!"

"Be qui-"

Krystal was cut off as she was suddenly pinned against the wall by a strong pair of arms. 

A tall, slender figure hovered over her, her sideswept bangs covering the left of her face.

"Choi Sulli?" Krystal muttered. 

"What the , let me go! You let me go this instant, Choi Sulli! off!"
Krystal hysterically wailed, struggling against the hold that nearly seemed impossible to escape from. 

Amber's soul hit rock bottom at that  point at the sudden realization that she was indeed the main cause of everything Krystal had became. 

And that Krystal had changed. She wasn't the same old Krystal anymore. 

With each heavy step, Amber dragged herself over towards the pair feeling as though the whole world was on her shoulders. 

Amber soon replaced Sulli, Krystal's body gently upon her arms like a touch of a butterfly's instead. They stared at each other, evoking the unspoken emotions in each other through their eyes. 

The ache Amber felt etched in Krystal's own anguished expression. 

"Krystal,  just please calm down...." Amber whispered, gently rubbing Krystal's sides. 

"You love me, Amber! I know you do. Don't you dare leave me!" Krystal's world had gone blurry through the tears that had not yet stopped flowing. 

Amber leaned into Krystal, savoring the pressure of the red haired girl's body against hers. 

Their hearts beating as one, flooded by the knowledge of the love they had for each other. 

Amber's mind shifted from memories to plans to feelings to worries, one right after the other, a kaleidoscope changed with every turn. 

'Stay with her, Amber.' Lurked a persistent voice in her mind but she shook it off. 

She closed the gap, reliving the feel of Krystal's lips on hers. 

Oh how she would miss the way their lips mould together perfectly. 

Now it was all coming to an end, and it was like she was watching the last flicker of light wink out in the darkness of an endless tunnel. 

They reluctantly disconnected, disheartenment and melancholy coursing through their veins. 

Both wanting  neither to leave. 

Amber gestured a nod and in a flash, Sulli was again holding Krystal back with undeniable strength.  

"Let go! off!"

Amber deliberately took a step back, turning her back against her lover. 

Amber knew that if she so much as glanced at Krystal, she'd change her mind. 

And that could never happen. 

Krystal can't suffer any longer. 

"Sulli, you take care of her alright? Treat her better than I did. Love her more than I did." Her voice was unwavering, willing it for not to break. 

"Amber don't you dare walk out the door! Amber I love you! Don't do this. I forgive you, I forgive you! You're not at fault. Just please don't leave me, I'd die Amber. Amber, I love you so much!" Krystal bemoaned, the urge to run back into Amber's arms. 

Where she rightfully belonged. 

"You've forgiven me far too many times, Krystal. Far too many times...." Amber mumbled and she closed the door shut. 

"Amber!"

"Come back!"

"Don't leave!"

"Baby no!"

"Please don't go....."

Amber heard her cries and wails and pleads and begs but she kept on walking. 

Amber's not coming back. 

She can't. 

She gripped the necklace tightly in her hand, the beautiful memories they built cycled through her mind. 

The sun was climbing overhead, blanketing everything outside with a stillness that felt almost like death.

Amber felt the silvers of glass rain down, buckling her skin which did nothing but to amplify the sorrow and emptiness in her mind, body and soul. 

As she receded into the distance, she turned back to the apartment with a slight weary smile on her lips. 

"I love you but I'm always hurting you. I've done you enough harm. That's why I left you, baby. If you love someone, you'll have to learn to let go right? My love for you will never die, even for a thousand years. Please live well with Sulli and please forgive me... I'm sorry.. I apologize for being a coward and not owning the guts to fight for you when I ought to.."

She lightly whispered, wishing Krystal could somehow hear her, wishing she'd never had to say those words at all. 

She diverted her attention back onto the road, headed for that one special place where everyone accepted her. 

Where Victoria would always be waiting for her arrival, with open arms. 

'Paradise.'

Where s belonged to. 

 

 

 

 

 

That's the end. No happy ending again. Thank you so much for your support, this has been one of the best. I'm such a sadistic, angst always interests me. I'm currently in the thoughts of a new fic but maybe late this year? Till I return! Thank you, I love you! 

Was the ending good enough?

xoxo