Amber's POV;

My voice had died in my throat. My palms had gone sweaty. My heart hammering in my chest. An icy fear engulfing my system. 

"After you left, she went completely nuts. She thrashed the entire apartment. She drowned herself in alcohol, consuming drugs. I was there. But I couldn't do anything to help her, it was beyond depressing watching her suffer. She'd hiss at me if I ever went near her, break into a fit and start going berserk if I tried to console her. She even threatened to commit suicide if I tried to stop her. I had no absolute power. I couldn't do anything to help, I'm sorry.

And then it happened. I had gone out to get some breakfast for the both of us. I was gone for thirty minutes but that was enough time for a complete dismay. I came back and there she was. Lying upon the floor on a pool of blood. Her face distorted. Bruises covering her body. Blood running down wrists, revealing deep, big gashes... Dried tears beneath her eyes. 

But you know what really broke my heart?

The fact that she held your photograph so close to her chest... The fact that she was wearing your favorite shirt, your favorite khakis... That broke me, Amber.

I rushed her to the hospital immediately. The thought of losing her frightened me. Those three hours I waited outside the operation room felt like years. I never stopped clasping my hands together, murmuring prayers over and over again.  Fortunately, God sympathized with me and saved her. It was a miracle, a complete miracle. She had lost a lot of blood but the doctor said she fought hard enough for her life. She fought to be with you, Amber. She didn't want to leave you. She was discharged the same day since she was really persistent about it and was transferred to visit a psychiatrist. 

She never said a word after that, her eyes almost lifeless. She'd curse at one moment, start crying and laugh hysterically the next. It was scary. The psychiatrist whisked me off for an hour as she carried out a check-up on Krystal. I knew something was up when I returned seeing a wistful expression on the psychiatrist's face. 

And then she said it. Krystal was suffering from psychogenic pain due to a painful heartbreak. The effects were so drastic that it had led to a mental disorder. That explains why she's behaving so weird around you, not talking any sense at all and having no recollections of your past together. That incident has impacted her life so much, Amber... The old Soojung that we've known isn't here anymore. The old Soojung that we've grown to be so in love with isn't coming back anymore.. She's gone, she left us." I knew she was keeping her voice calm, willing it not to break. 

I felt a gut-wrenching fear take root as the words scrolled through my mind like some terrible ticker tape. 

Hiccuping through my sobs, I began to stammer. 

"Te-tell m-me that y-you're lying t-to me, Ch-Choi Sulli."

She heaved a deep, sad sigh. 

"You caused this Amber Liu. You hurt Krystal, not me. You broke her, not me. You're the monster here, not me. You ed things up. You ruined her life." Her voice so harsh with a mixture of anger and agony. 

And the line went dead. 

As the weight of everything Choi Sulli had sank in, it felt as though I'd been punched in the gut, sickened by the sight of my own-self. 

I turned, glancing at the mirror only to be greeted by a monster staring back at me. 

What have you done, Amber?

You have no one else to blame but yourself. 

You caused this. 

Tears fell from beneath my lids, my heart drowning in sadness. 

"Amber?"

Her voice waking me out of my reverie. 

Seeing her standing there with such innocent eyes, a concerned look upon her face ached my soul. I felt a distinct and uncomfortable frisson of guilt as I recalled that I was the cause of the destruction in her life. 

Too overwhelmed by the emotions inside of me, I hugged her legs, wailing at the top of my voice. 

"Krystal, forgive me! Come back to me already! Don't be like this anymore! I'll love you wholeheartedly, I swear I will! Please remember me! I will treasure you, I won't leave you again.. Please be your old self again.. Please don't forget about us.. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry, I love you Krystal. I love you so much..." 

"Amber what are you doing?!" She exclaimed, struggling to get me off her legs. 

"Please remember our past.. Come back..."

"I'm here Amber! Get off me!"

"I'm sorry, Krystal. I'm really sorry."

"Let go of me Amber Liu!!"

I ignored her cries and kept apologizing. 

"I'm sorry. I harmed you Krystal. I caused all of this. I'm the monster. I'm sorry.."

Her expression turned sorrowful, her eyes flashed worry and concern. 

With light touches of a butterfly, she gently unwrapped my arms and brought me up onto my feet with her delicate hands. 

She traced circular patterns on my cheek, melding our lips together. 

"I love you too, Amber. Stop saying you're sorry. You haven't done anything to me. You did no wrong to me." She whispered, slipping herself into my arms. 

Her words did nothing but to deepen the guilt in my heart. 

"I'm sorry you had to fall in love with me. I'm sorry for entering your life and messing it up. I'm sorry for hurting you again and again. I'm sorry, Krystal."

She shushed me, before humming along to the sound of my heartbeat. 

"Stop talking nonsense, Amber."

Author's POV;

Amber sighed, admiring the beauty sleeping soundly in her arms. 

"I love you..." She lamented, a bitter expression upon her face. 

She couldn't sleep a wink that night. Her mind had cycled endlessly between Krystal and Jessica. 

Krystal has officially gone mad. 

She still had no news related to Jessica. 

The two girls chasing each other around in Amber's mind, an endless loop. 

She had missed Jessica dearly but with the current situation, she had been too caught up handling it. 

A smile played upon Amber's lips at the thought of the blonde. 

"Jessica. Jessica Liu Sooyeon."

Dying to hear Jessica's voice, she tried to fish out her phone from her pocket but was greeted by a little journal instead. 

Her smile was replaced with a frown, a quizzical expression visible on her face. 

'Jessica Jung Sooyeon' was written neatly on the front. 

"Eh? Sooyeon-ah?" Amber whispered into the silence. 

Intrigued, she flipped it open revealing the contents in a handwriting she recognized as Jessica's. 

"H-how?"

She decided to find the answers to her questions by reading it. 

Journal;

To my one and only Amber Josephine Liu, 

it's me. It's your Sooyeon-ah. How are you? I hope you're doing alright without me. I hope my sister is taking good care of you. I hope she treasures you as much I did Eunyoung. 

I miss you. I miss kissing your plump lips. I miss your alluring scent. I miss staring into your beautiful eyes. I miss running my fingers through your short black hair. I miss being held securely in your arms. I miss making love to you all night till the sun rises. I miss running into your embrace before being lifted up in the air. I really miss you in general. I miss you so much. 

Remember our first date babe? When we visited that orphanage? Absurd for an ideal first date isn't it? I recalled how you immediately went all out to make an appointment with the staff after I confessed my love for children the night before. I found it really cute how you were so willing to visit it despite having a sense of hatred for kids. 

The few hours spent there with you were the best moments of my life. To be able to have you by my side and being surrounded by kids were a mixture of euphoria and sootiness. The two groups of people that I've grown to love. 

When I saw you fooling around with the kids, with those huge grins upon your faces, and those loud laughters without a care in the world, I knew it. I knew from that instant that it was you whom I wanted to spend my entire life with. I knew that it was you whom I wanted to build a family with. I knew that it was you whom I'll love forever. I knew that it was you whom I've been searching for all along, Amber. You. 

You're the best anyone could ever ask for. You're too beyond perfect up to the point where I question whether I deserve you sometimes. Your love for me all this while has been so sincere and pure. You're always placing my needs before yours, doing anything I asked you to and you always knew how to make me smile. You always knew how to make my heart race. 

Just when I had actually found you, just when I had thought that you'd be mine forever, just when I thought that I had you all wrapped around my finger, someone else came into the picture. Soojung. If I could turn back time, I'd never would've make you do that. I'd never would've let you be my scapegoat just to fulfill my revenge. I'd never would've let you go. I'd never would've let you slip out of my hands. 

But I did. 

I should have ignored her presence, forget about the past and carry on rebuilding our lives together. I should have forgiven her and accepted her as my sister again. I should have never demanded you to pursue with that stupid plan of mine. But it's all too late for regrets now isn't it? You're not mine anymore. 

You've fallen for Soojung. You've fallen for my sister. You think I can't see Amber? I know everything Amber. From the way you walk to the way you talk, nothing escapes my eyes. Day by day, I watched you drift away from me. I watched the love of my life slowly fell in love with another girl. My heart broke a little each passing day. 

But what could I do Amber?

I had no control over you, I couldn't simply asked you to abandon your love for Soojung. I could never do that to you. After all the things you've sacrificed for me. After all those I put you through. I just couldn't bear to take your happiness away from you. Even if I wasn't your happiness. 

Even if my every cell was screaming in agony. Even if my mind was crying in pain. Even if my heart bled profusely, I still couldn't bring myself to make you stop loving her. I brought this upon myself. I deserved this. Of course she'd liked you back. You're an angel, who wouldn't fall for you? 

That's why I'm letting you go, Amber. I'm setting you free, I'm letting you out of the cage that you've been kept in for so long, away from me. Forever. I don't want you to be looking for me anymore. I don't want you to think of me anymore. Don't talk about me. Don't even say my name. Throw me away from your life. Erase my name that's been engraved in your heart. Forget about me. 

Give Soojung your everything. Please love her with all your heart. Please let her be the only woman you lay your eyes upon. Please don't give up on her. Please stay by her side and cherish her. Don't make her cry. Don't make her mad. Let there only be laughters and smiles in your house with her. Please make her your wife and build a family with her. Please stay faithful to her and your children. Please let them be the only group of people you'll ever love in your life. 

Soojung will be taking my place from now on. She'll be the girl that I never could've been to you. She will love you. 

I promise. 

Your Faithfully,
Jessica Jung Sooyeon. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for the overwhelming response.10000 views!!!!! Anyway I hope this chapter managed to clear your doubts. A few tears maybe? Comments. Suscribe. upvote.