You are sitting down on the floor, leaning against the closed door.  The pain in your heart starts to fire again. Such moments enter your mind, making you cry once more, for the nth time. You can’t believe you’ve done such things that made him so happy, but killed you deep within.

            “How can I be such a fool from the beginning…”, you said to yourself, resting your face on your palms, as you sob out in pain, in hatred, in anger, in jealousy.

            You just recalled, what made this pain eat you wholly. What made you so weak now, what made your other hand let go of that faith you’re holding on.

            It’s the day you almost died in pain.

            Your phone alarms, waking you up early to get ready for the most special day of your life, your birthday.          

            A flood of messages started your wonderful day; your phone memory is almost full because of their wonderful greetings. Everyone seemed to have remembered your special day, from your parents, your siblings, high school and college friends, the employees of your restaurant, and to those people you had never expected to greet you, Big Bang.

            Happy Happy Birthday ___________~ it’s a good thing TaeYang told us your very special day. We want to see you, now. I know you’re going to treat us out for lunch. Kkkk~ I’m just kidding. Anyway, enjoy your day _____________. Stay nice and pretty~! GD right here~^^,

            Happy Birthday ___________! Stay as you are. Take care of yourself always. I hope you will have a wonderful day~ By the way, tell your best friend not to be super nice all the time, you know what I mean, right?^^, ~ T.O.P

            Happy Happy Birthday Noona~ I mean my sweet dongsaeng. ^o^ . I really can’t believe you’re already 21. ‘Coz you don’t look like one. But you act really matured by the way. I then remembered my birthday, and that delectable cake you baked for me. How I wish I could make one for you as well, can you teach me? TaeYang is very lucky to have you as a best friend. ^________^ Have a nice day~ Dae

            ___________________. Happy 21^st Birthday~ Ya~ Treat me out for a lunch today.  If you don’t, I’ll tell Hyung everything. ^^, Hahaha~ I’m just playing around. I wouldn’t do that ‘coz I know what will happen to me ㅜ.ㅜThanks for spending time with me even though I know you got annoyed sometimes. Thanks again~ spend this day with a smile on your face. ^^*~SeungRi

            Of course, one message was the most special to you. It made your heart jump out of your lungs, as you smiled so brightly reading the message over and over again.

            _______________~ Happy Happy Birthday ! I woke up this early just to send my greetings to my best-est friend. I just want to thank you, like what I always do in your birthday, for being with me, always. You are a wonderful blessing in my life that I always and forever will treasure. I wish you all the best in life, that may your business run smoothly, that you’d always be happy, and of course I wish you’ll find that someone special who would make you happy forever. And yes, don’t forget to introduce him to me. ^^, I hope you’d enjoy this great day~ Smile. ^__^ . ~ YoungBae.

            TaeYang never fails to make you happy, even in simple message. And knowing that he’s busy, he didn’t forget your very special day.

            You decide to spend this day with TaeYang like you always do. Though last year, he already has JiEun his life, it didn’t stop you at all. JiEun understands the situation . She was even the one who arranged everything for that day.

            But for your birthday this year, your whole world turned upside down.

            You’ve been calling TaeYang for the nth time now, but his phone is off. You wanted to go out with him for a lunch, however he seemed busy. But it didn’t stop you that you then decided to go to their hostel.

            You made loud knocks to the door, because you kept on hearing someone shouting, telling you to wait.

            Loud footsteps then followed, moving closer to the door. And finally the door opens.

            It was SeungRi who opened the door, he’s carrying a bag pack, it seemed he’s going out. Sweat falls from his forehead down his cheeks, and he pants, like he had done everything in a rush.

            “Ah. Birthday girl, what are you doing here?”, he said smiling brightly, as he wipes off that sweaty face of his.

            “Are you late again?”, you asked, fixing the collar of his checkered polo.

            “Yeah. A little, I woke up late today.”, he said, looking down. He looked embarrassed on what you did. You saw his cheeks turn red, since your fingers slightly reach the side skin of his neck while fixing his collar. It made him tickle a little bit, that he decided to look down, hiding that smile in his face.

            “How come you sent me a birthday message that early, if you woke up late?”, you asked, while placing your hands to side. Since you noticed SeungRi’s reaction.

            “It’s me. It’s how I’m different,right?Like what you said…”, he answered, smiling at you, as he’s scratching his head.

            “What are you doing here, by the way. You should be celebrating your birthday now”, he said, placing his hands on your shoulders.

            “I was but, YoungBae isn’t answering any of my calls. I was planning to treat him out for lunch, so I went here to see him. Is he inside?”, you asked, as you were about to take a peek in the hostel.

            SeungRi then throws his bag pack inside, and shuts the hostel’s door, locking it.

            “No. No, he isn’t here.”, he said, while his eyes keep on looking away from you.As his hand, slowly drifts away from your shoulders.

“Oh. I understand, he must be busy.”, you said in frustration. You have already planned all these things you would do with him today, but sadly none of it will happen.

“Ah! _______________,what if I spend time with you today? If it’s okay with you.”, he said, wrapping his arms around you.

A bit sad though. You just agreed to be with SeungRi, since after all, he knows how to make you happy, how to make you feel better. He’s fun to be with, and very thoughtful. And besides, you are already close friends, ever since he knew about your secret.

You didn’t answer him first, that you gave him an expression that you’re still thinking if you would go or not. He looks at you, waiting for that answer.

“Come on. I’ll treat you an ice cream.”, he said, trying to persuade you.

“Why is it that ice cream always convince me?”, you said, giving him a hint you wanted to go with him.

He smiled, knowing you agreed with him. You then smiled back, since you just thought it’s your birthday, you should be happy.

“Let’s go now~”, he shouted, as his other hand points out to the direction where the stairs is placed. He then starts to march like a child going near the stairs

“Wait. Do you have anything to do today?”, you asked, pulling him back beside you.

“It can wait. And I mean, I’ll just be there to watch new steps will be practicing. I can handle it.”, he said, with a little bragging that he can pick-up steps fast.

“Okay. If that’s what you said, just make sure you tell that to JiYong. He’ll be mad.”, you said, riding with that boastfulness he has.

“I promise.”, he said with his right hand raised.

You went out for a little lunch, and decided to take a walk at the park. You even bought eyeglasses for him, and fixed his hair with a new hairstyle, just so no one would recognize him. And it’s quite surprising, the disguise worked.

Well, that time you only saw two to three people walking in the park since it’s kind of cloudy. And SeungRi keeps on looking down whenever you pass by some people.

The park is filled with tall standing trees swaying with the wind, you walked to a rock trail, and passed by benches every now and then. The wind is a bit cold, that SeungRi wrapped his arms around you.

You felt safe in his arms.

You then passed by a man selling some ice cream, and remembered he promised to buy you one. You started tickle him, and asking him to buy one for you.

“SeungRi, you promise me to buy one of those, right?”, you said, pointing out that little stall selling ice cream.

“Yes, I didn’t forget that. Wait here.”, he said, as he walk towards the stall and bought one for him and for you.

You then looked around the park, while waiting for SeungRi. Your eyes reached and saw a bench few steps away from your position.

A man, who was quite familiar, stands in front of a very pretty woman who was sitting in a bench. You walk a little closer, and realize it was TaeYang with JiEun. Though you were quite frustrated with him you even thought of treating the two of them out for some food. You took a deep breath, and blast out a sweet smile.

“TaeY…”, you shouted, but you weren’t able to continue calling him.

You saw him knelt down, and saw his hand holding a diamond ring. You saw his mouth uttered words, as he held JiEun’s hand that was on her lap.

You didn’t heard what he said, but you know what it is. Though you’re a bit far from them, the cold wind seemed to had taken you what TaeYang had just said. After a while, you saw JiEun teary-eyed, and nodded. TaeYang smiled so bright again, as he kissed her hand, and placed the ring on her finger.

You got stunned, and froze in your position, with your eyes wide. You then felt hands on your shoulders, as it turned you around, facing him, stopping you to look at this worst scenario.

“Don’t look back…”, SeungRi then  said in a serious tone, holding you so tight.

You tried letting go of his grip and planned to look back at them, but his hands even held you tighter, and pulled you to his chest, then embracing you.

“Never, never ever look back if it kills you. Cry, I know it hurts. I’ll be here.”, he whispered, as he held you in his arms tighter.

Your head is leaning against his chest; your hand grasps the cloth of his sleeves, as you feel raging anger going on your nerves. Warm tears fall down your eyes, you wanted to shout out all these things you are feeling, but no sound came out of your mouth. Your knees started to feel weak, that any moment you feel breaking down.

“I’m here, I will always be here. Cry it all out, anytime you want.”.  SeungRi whispered, holding you tighter, as his hand caress your hair.

You replied him with a tighter embrace, and cried everything in his arms.

The wind starts to pass by again, taking every single fallen leave away.

Unfortunately the wind, can’t take such feeling of pain in your heart.