“You’re still talking about this guy, right?”, he asked

            This guy. This guy you talked about when you were still in high school, and up to now. The guy who made you cry a lot of times before you go to sleep, the guy who made you inspired to achieve your dreams. The guy who stands by you no matter what.  The guy who prevents you in saying yes to other man, knowing this guy would notice you, in the right time.

TaeYang knew everything about this; unfortunately, he doesn’t know it’s him.

            It’s him. Your first and last love, who made you cry and feel jealousy for the first time,  when you knew he had asked JiEun out for a date, who made you inspired to achieve what you’re having right now, who never fails to be with you especially if you need someone to lean on. It’s him, but he’s not aware.

            “Yes.”, you said, looking back at him, with a smile.

            “Ya. How come I still don’t know him? You’ve been sharing stories about him ever since we were in high school, but you weren’t able to introduce him to me. I mean, I’m your best friend, I should know what kind of guy has caught your attention.”, he said, after taking a drink. He’s so curious about this person you’ve been telling to him. Not knowing, it’s him, himself, you are talking about

            “I told you, he’s a little busy these days, and I barely see him, honestly.”, you said, making that little lie of yours again.

            “Is he that busy always? But, how come SeungRi knew him already?”, he asked, staring at your eyes, trying to catch you, if ever you’re lying.

            “SeungRi?”, you asked, in surprise, as your eyes grew wide.

            “Yes. He told me he already met this guy you’re talking about.”, he said as he nods, then looked away.

            “That naughty guy, how can he be so talkative? And tell TaeYang such things. Aigoo! I’m going to kill him, if I’ll see him again.”, you said to yourself in a low voice, pissed. You bowed your head a little thinking TaeYang might hear you murmuring again.

            “Ah. Yes, only once. We just bumped into each other, and had some coffee, that’s all.”, you said, looking at his eyes, relaying that what you’ve said is true.

            “I see, then. But, promise me you’d introduce him to me before the wedding. I wanted to make sure that you’ll be fine first.”, he said, then held your hand that was placed on the table.

            “Yes, I will.”, you said, with a fake smile from your face.

            Just after saying this, TaeYang calls the waiter and pays the food right away, without even knowing how much it all costs.

            “Keep the change then, as always.”, TaeYang said, as he stands up and fixes himself.

            “Omo. YoungBae, I should be the one paying…”, you said, as he places his hand on your lips, preventing you from speaking.

            “Aish. I told you, if you’re with me, you don’t have to spend anything, and if you want something, tell me, araso?”, he said, as he let go of his hand from your lips, and smile at you brightly.

            “But…”, you continued, you really wanted to pay the food this time.

            “No buts…Let’s go now, I’ll take you home.”, he said, as held your hand, pulling you up from your seat, then dragging you back to his car.

            You are seating then quietly by his side, as you once again caress that red tulips SeungRi bought for you. TaeYang now driving the car then was distracted by a call from his phone.

            “____________~ah. Can you answer it for me?”, he said, driving, as he continues to keep his eyes on the road.

            You then saw his phone placed on a black case, just on that small compartment placed beside your seat. You then looked at the phone’s screen, and saw who was calling.

            “It’s JiEun.”, you whispered, doubting if you’d still answer the phone or not.

            You bit your lower lip, as you press the answer button then placing the phone near your left ear.

            “Eonni. It’s me, ___________.”, you said, making her feel that you’re comfortable talking to her

            “Ah. ____________, is TaeYang with you?”,JiEun asked, with that soothing voice of hers. Even though, she’s just speaking, her voice sounds so calm and sweet.

            “Yes, he’s driving his car right now, that’s why I answered the phone.”, you said as your eyes looked at TaeYang, who’s really focused on driving.

            “Jagiya, I’ll go to your house later, wait for me.”, he shouted, as he smiled so bright.

            You looked away from him, and took a sigh. You felt a pinch in your heart the moment TaeYang said those painful words. And that smile he showed, you had never seen it from him before.

            “Eonni, did you hear what he just said?”, you said ,with a fake smile from your face.

            “Yes. Please tell him I’d be waiting,’coz we need to talk.  Take care now.”, she said as she then hangs up.

            You put down the phone back to where it was placed earlier, and looked at him again. That smile from his face, never disappeared when he knew it was JiEun you’re talking to.

            “What did she say?”, he asked, as he glanced at you.

            “She said, she’d be waiting because both of you need to talk.”, you said in a sad tone, as you look down, thinking he might see your sad eyes again.

            “That girl, what is it this time? She might be…”, he asked himself,

“YoungBae, can you just drop me by that bus stop over there.”, you said, stopping from him continuing what he’d be saying.

            “Why? And you know I can’t do that, I need to take you home.”,  he said, as he was confused why your mood suddenly changed.

            “I…I… I need to go somewhere, I need to buy something for the restaurant.”, you said, insisting him that you have to go and leave him alone

            “Are you sure? Just send me a message then, if you already got home. Okay?”, he said, as he then parks the car in front of the bus stop.   

            “Yes, Yes I will. Take care now.”, you said in a low voice, then faking a smile again in front of him.

            You went down the car, holding that bouquet of tulips SeungRi bought, while your other hand holds your bag. You stand outside his car, and waved goodbye as a small smile appears in your face.

He then looks at you and waved goodbye as well.

You turn around and hear his car slowly moving away, until that sound you were hearing then disappears. You were about to close your eyes, just so you would prevent tears from falling down, but you were too late. They ran down your eyes one by one, while you sit down on the bench placed on this waiting shed. You then placed your bag and your bouquet to your side, while staring blankly at nowhere.

You feel so weak at this moment, so weak because of his eyes that continue to capture your attention, so weak because of his smile that brightens your confused and gloomy day, so weak because of his touch that always made you feel safe and relieved, so weak because of the pain you are getting every time it would enter your mind that you’re not the one he loves, not the one he wanted to be with him forever.

After a few minutes, a bus then stops in front of you. You then took a sigh, wiped your teary eyes, and carry your things again. You rode the bus, and went home. Since you feel so tired after all what happened, and your feet start to ache because you were wearing high-heeled shoes that time.

You reached the bus stop near your home, just after sitting inside the bus for like 5 minutes. You went down the bus and entered the street leading to your home.

You walked so carelessly, staring out of nowhere, thinking so deep. You don’t seem to mind anything around you.

It’s always the same scenario, every time TaeYang has to leave you for JiEun. But it’s you’re choice in the first place, ‘coz seeing them together, kills you inside.

You stopped in front of your house, as you look for your keys inside your bag.

Suddenly, two hands then covered your eyes, stopping you from what you are doing.

“Guess who?”, a man’s voice said, teasing you.

You didn’t recognize the voice right away, but as you inhale his manly scent, you already knew who he was. However, you decided to a little bit.

“Ya…Dong Young Bae, I thought you went to…”, you said, while turning around, as he remove his hands off your face.

You’re right. It was SeungRi. He stares at you as his eyebrows meet, and his mouth pouts, teased. He looks at his hands, and smelled them, thinking you didn’t recognize him, since he always spray his perfume in his palm.

“Ya. Me and Hyung have different perfumes, how come you can’t distinguish which is mine?”, he said, complaining. He crosses his arms, and look away.

You laughed at that child-ish expression in his face, thinking you got him this time.

“I was just playing around.”, you said, tapping his shoulders.

He then grabs your bag and the bouquet from you while you open the main door of your house.

The moment you opened the door, you went straight to the sofa, and sat there comfortably. Once again, you stare blankly to the floor, and took a deep breath.

“Ya. ______________, what’s the matter? What happened earlier? Did JiEun make her way again between the two of you?”, SeungRi asked as he sits beside you, placing your bag and the bouquet on the center table.

“SeungRi, what if I would just give up now? What if I’d just let go of him, and move on with my life? What if…”, you said, as you look at him with so much confusion in your eyes.

“What if in the end he’ll realize that you’re the one he really loves? Are you going to give up?”, he asked, holding your hands, comforting you.

“I don’t want to ruin any relationship, I don’t want to break anyone’s heart.”, you said, as you look away from him, taking a deep breath

“You aren’t breaking or ruining anything, you’re just getting what you should have.”, he said

“No…No…That’s not it.”, you whispered, many thoughts have been entering your mind that you were so confused on what to do.

You stood up from you position, and walked away, heading upstairs to your room.

“________________~ah. Never give up, don’t ever give up to him… he yelled, trying to convince you/

            You entered your room, and slowly close its door, that you didn’t hear what SeungRi said.

“…Like what I’m doing to you now….”, he whispered in a sad tone, as he caress that bouquet he bought for you.

            After all this time, he has been doing all of this with one reason.