Few more weeks passed.

Its now exactly a month before the wedding.

It’s almost the days and the nights passed by like a cold wind. That kind of wind, that makes you feel alone even more.

You haven’t heard anything about the boys, until now. You read some news that they were busy promoting on other countries, which makes them occupied for a while.

You admit, you miss every one of them, especially TaeYang.

And you also had to admit that after 30 days; you’ll have to say farewell to your best friend, to your confidant, and to your first and last love.

A farewell, that will only be said once, but will take forever to be fully accepted by your heart.

It was a busy day.

One of your college classmates dropped by at your restaurant earlier and invited you on her engagement party next week. Surprised that you already had achieved your dream business, she chose you to provide the food on her wedding day.

You don’t want to.

But of course, you can never say no to this kind of opportunities.

You are busy browsing the internet, looking for a good menu to serve on her wedding day. You had difficult time thinking on what menu to prepare, until you saw a picture of the favorite pasta you and TaeYang used to eat together.

You remember him in an instant, your moments together played on your head all over again. You took a deep breath, trying to convince yourself that it’s all but his way of showing how much he loves you, as his best friend.

“It’s all a memory now.” you said to yourself, looking back at your notes and started to write down the menu you had decided to.

One of your employees happened to passed by, and saw the picture of the pasta too.

“Miss ______________, are we going to serve that pasta on your friend’s wedding?” she asked, as she moved closer, and took a closer look on the picture.

“No. I just happen to …”

“Oh! Miss ___________, I have tasted that pasta and it’s really delicious. Why don’t we create a new version, and put it on the menu?  A lot of people will be delighted.” she said, as she already prevented you from speaking.

“I… I’ll think about it…” you said, pretending that you are happy with her suggestion.

You don’t want to. You really don’t want to think of it anymore, of him anymore. You wanted to end everything at that moment, but still you find it difficult. All those things that happened, after you had pour everything that you’ve been keeping to him, those times he secretly helped you, the man with the umbrella, the lady who handed you a handkerchief and that little boy who gave you an ice cream. All those things happened, yet you don’t want to believe or to happen again.

You always thought it was a dream, a dream that you only see as every time you close your eyes, as silent tears falls.

You don’t want to cry anymore.

You finally gave up.

Closing time came, and your employees planned to have dinner. They invited you, and you said yes right away, thinking you won’t be doing anything for tomorrow. And you thought, having fun would help you get away from these things you are experiencing.

All of you gathered and rode a bus, while you not knowing where to eat. You sat with them, chatting around like college students since all of you were almost at the same age. Laughter can be heard from everyone of you, as each share stories. You were even quite embarrassed, since it looks like your whole group own the bus for the whole time.

But you agree. For all of the time, you are with them, you never thought of him.

The bus stopped, making everyone of you quiet for a while. Until…

“Oh! Here we are.”, one of your employees said, while looking out of the window.

You look to your left, and in shock, your jaw almost dropped.

You don’t know what to say. You don’t know if you’ll still be able to move from where you are sitting. You are staring at the window, not knowing if you’ll still join them or not.

They had decided to eat on the Italian restaurant, you and TaeYang used to hang-out. The place where he first took you out for a so-called date, where you first shared to him that you are starting to like someone, and where he told you he was getting married.

A tap on your shoulder made you look back. It was one of your employees telling you that you’ll be getting off the bus now. You smiled, and went down with her.

Standing in front of this place, felt like you were just there yesterday. But you had wished, you weren’t there, you had never been there.

Your employees continue to share stories as they all went in, yet you felt your ears were all covered and you can’t hear anything. It was just like a dream, a dream you never wish to happen.

“Maybe it says, its my last time to remember these moments.”, you said to yourself, after taking a deep breath.

You went in, and still, nothing has changed. This place, like your heart, has kept one of the most beautiful moments of your life.

Everything seemed to remind you of him, every single thing.

You saw them at the far corner of the place, all sitting down, and looking at the menu. You went there right away, sitting beside your closest employee.

Looking at their menu, you can’t help but reminisce those sweetest times of your life. Sitting there, you felt like you weren’t around with them, but you’re with this very special person whom you loved for a long time. You imagine he was just there, sitting at the opposite side of the table, looking deeply into your eyes, smiling at you. Making you feel that all these bad things in this world never existed.

And never will it.

But you closed your eyes, and took a deep breath.

“It is the end.”, you said to your self

             You chose to order something different from the menu, something you knew that would satisfy you, something that would make you forget one thing you are already used to. Unfortunately, everyone from your table chose the one you are trying to avoid.

            After a while, all the orders came in. You started to eat, trying to pretend that you aren’t bothered of anything.  Trying to make you feel yourself satisfied of what you are eating, trying to adjust your self in something you will soon get used to.

                            The night was filled with laughter, but for you it was a night of moving on, and letting go.

                            After eating, and a little time of talking and sharing stories, everyone then decided to go home.

                            You were the first one to get off the bus, since you planned to go to a nearby chapel first before going home. Walking along the quiet sidewalk, you noticed something strange.

                            As you go nearer and nearer, you noticed the bright lights around the chapel. Making it the brightest place around the area, at that time. You actually didn’t know what was up to, until you reached the place.

                            You took a few steps, and stood at the chapel’s wooden door.

                            You were so surprised to go in, that you almost forgot you were there to pray and to think things over. But the scene just made you feel like floating for a while. You didn’t even notice that all the seats were empty, the quiet streets outside the chapel.

                            A wedding is taking place. A young couple is standing in front of the altar, exchanging vows.

                            The couple held each other’s hand so tight, not planning to let go. They look into each other’s eyes, not letting anyone or anything catch their attention. And as they exchange their promises, tears started to fall down your eyes, unconsciously.

                            You slowly closed your eyes, trying not to get absorbed by your emotions. But upon closing them, he was all you see. Nothing but him.

                            He is your everything.

                            You opened your eyes, and the wedding ceremony was finished, and as the priest said his final words for the ceremony. They close their eyes, as their lips met. The sign of their love, the beginning of forever.

                            You turned around and started to walk away. Crying, as the cold wind passed again. The empty streets made you feel alone even more.

                            You need him, you badly need him.

                            Finally, after a long walk, you reached your house. Trying to hide your crying heart, you went to your room not minding what your sister just said.

                            You lie down to your bed, trying not to think off what you saw a while ago, trying to forget that feeling of emptiness.

                            Your sister knocked on the door , diverting your attention.

                            “____________, I already got the plane ticket to Japan…”, she said.